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Revived: What do you want on your tombstone?


Deadmeat_X

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"He once was alive,

But now he's dead,

They **** down his neck,

After skull-****ed his head"...how's that for improvisation, eh?

 

"Feral.

Proud Ceator of the original "What do you want on your tombstone?" topic"

 

(when buried next to Murta)

"Dance there

/

|-----------

\"

 

"There was was a man called Steve Chicken,

But now there isn't. Shame, really."

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Neil Joshi, beloved husband and father. he died for his country, he died for his family, now both are much richer.

 

Meil Joshi

Some git spelt my name wrong.

 

Neil Joshi

We Hardly Knew Ye

Thank God

 

Neil Joshi

Don't mourn for my death

For i am not gone from sight

I am the wind

the sea

the land

i am you guiding light (cool, i just made that up, and no, it was not meant to be a joke like the others)

 

and finally

Non Timetis Messor

I Never Did

And I Never Will.

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Sarah

Beloved wife and mother

She died of a Dark Sad Shadow

A Shadow that will plague us all

Bloody git!

 

 

Neil beloved husband

Buried alive with his brutally murdered wife.

Bloody Git!

 

Cognitum Ergo Hatto

I think, therefore i am a hat.

Oh wait

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bloody git!

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- Can someone scratch my nose? Oh, too late it's worm food now...

 

 

 

- There is no body in this grave, dig it up and see.

 

*The guy digs up the grave to find a horrifying, decomposing, sanity mangling corpse*

 

A sign the corpes is holding: Made you look :D

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"This tombstone is made from 100% stone"

 

"My tombstone is better!"

 

"Don't look so surprised. After all, this is a graveyard"

 

"Visitors betweem 2 and 3 pm. Knock 3 times"

 

"Call 0800-234632 for hot sex" (sorry, just had to do that :D)"

 

"It's not as bad as it looks"

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"On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies

Ezekial Aikle

Age 102

The Good

Die Young."

 

"In a London, England cemetery:

Ann Mann

Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died an old Mann.

Dec. 8, 1767"

 

"In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread

And the Lord sent them manna,

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna."

 

"Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies

Johnny Yeast

Pardon me

For not rising."

 

"Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body

of Jonathan Blake

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake."

 

"In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays Butch,

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger,

But slow on the draw."

 

"A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:

Sacred to the memory of

my husband John Barnes

who died January 3, 1803

His comely young widow, aged 23, has

many qualifications of a good wife, and

yearns to be comforted."

 

"A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange

Here lies an honest lawyer,

And that is Strange."

 

"Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:

I was somebody.

Who, is no business

Of yours."

 

"Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore

Four slugs from a .44

No Les No More."

 

In a Georgia cemetery:

"I told you I was sick!"

 

"John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art

In want of any

Dig 4 feet deep

And thou wilt find a Penny."

 

"On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:

She always said her feet were killing her

but nobody believed her."

 

"In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June

- Jonathan Fiddle -

Went out of tune."

 

"Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go."

 

"More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:

Gone away

Owin' more

Than he could pay."

 

"Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood

Departed this life

Nov. 2, 1837

Aged 45 yrs.

Here lies one Wood

Enclosed in wood

One Wood

Within another.

The outer wood

Is very good:

We cannot praise

The other."

 

"On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod:

Pease shelled out and went to God."

 

"The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:

Who was fatally burned

March 21, 1870

by the explosion of a lamp

filled with "R.E. Danforth's

Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

 

"Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

Born 1903--Died 1942

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if

the car was on the way down. It was."

 

"In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go."

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Neil Joshi

He killed himself after seeing his wife the morning after their honeymoon.

the last words he said.

'Till death do us part'

 

Neil Joshi's last words.

Don't touch that button, whatever you do!

 

Made in Taiwan

 

:elephant: :elephant: :elephant:

 

Don't cry for me, i'm already dead.

Cry for the guy next to me, he was buried alive and wouldn't shut up.

 

Neil Joshi's last words:

'You don't have the guts to shoot!'

 

Neil Joshi's Last words:

'once my old man spoke to good king triton

and asked, whay all this se-'

 

Neil Joshi's last words.

'You said all men were liars, but your a man, so would that infact make-'

 

(please note, that last two times, i was shot when cut of in mid sentance, just incase you didn't notice)

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"Violets are blue, roses are red, we're coming aboard so prepare to eat lead."

 

"Kiss me, I've got scurvy."

 

"Mouthwash? We don't need no stinken' mouthwash!"

 

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!"

 

Sorry about being such a coffin theif :p

 

"I know your not my family, so WHAT are you doing on my grave? If it is my family, you already know the joke :D

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