whitedragon Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 im getting more ideas for my new "the lord of the rings. the two towers spoof" like my FotR spoof so if anyone could give me more ideas ide be grateful The great ring spammery part 2 *in the last exciteing episode of GRS* balrog: hey you’re that wizard who stole my wallet gandalf: uh if I pay you back will you let us go balrog: yes gandalf: how much balrog: 10000 gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!! * the balrog and gandalf fall into the abyss* gandalf: weeeeee balrog: dammit this is the 3rd time this week this has happened *frodo wakes up from dream* frodo: IM NOT GAY!!! Sam: im afraid to ask what happened Frodo: it was only a dream *scean goes to golum looking for the ring* golum: we do say my precious what are those hobbits doing out in this dreadful place. tis not a place of good standing to sleep in. we had better give them directions frodo, sam: surprise dUm8 4$$ gollum: WE DO SAY!! *they tie up gollum* gollum: we are a perfectly capable being and we can walk on our own my good fellows sam: every orc in mordor is going to here this racket gollum: we do take offence sir frodo: do you know how to get to the spookey place gollum: oh lord my precious what have we gotten ourselves into *the orcs of isengard are carrying marry and pippen* uruk hai#1: *sniff sniff* whew uruk hai#2: what do you smell uruk hai#1: bad elven perfume uruk hai#2: they picked up our trail *aragorn starts listening to a rock* aragorn: the rock tells me that they came this way and there running faster. Thanks to legolases perfume. Legolas: it a mans cologne Gimli: what mans cologne smells like flowers Aragorn: anyway we should start running again…yeah running *they start running again* saruman: we kick ass don’t we sauron sauron: damn seeing stone always gets the wrong number. I wanted to order a pizza *orcs are tired “whusses”* uruk hai#1: chop some trees down so we can piss some ents off orc#1: lets eat the luggage uruk hai#1: are you kidding saruman will give us suck a pink belly orc#2: ooh they look tasty orc#1: what about their legs uruk hai#1: what about you orc#1: well uhh men of rohan: take there wallets uruk hai#1:ohhh well an’t that the dickens marry: exit stage left pippen: lets make like a tree and get the heck out of here marry: lets make like a banana and split pippen: lets make like a thing that leaves and leave *they leave* *aragorn, gimli, and legolas meet up with the men of rohan* aragorn: coconut clappers of rohan did you get a big haul eomer: yes we did actually..who are you *gimli put his pipe in his mouth and squints his eyes* gimli: I am what I am and that’s all that I am, im popeye the sailor man *eomer draws his sword* eomer: oh you did not just make that corney joke legolas: whats wrong with popeye aragorn: were getting off the subject gimli: oh did you see any hobbets eomer: oh yeah we killed them gimli: ok see you later *the men of rohan bang their coconuts together as they ride off* gimli:…..wait a second *gimli finds pippens belt* aragorn: YEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW *aragorn sees the hobbets tracks* aragorn: aww shucks *marry and pippen are followed into fangorn* orc: come here you little treats pippen: you fricken weardo orc: hey I take that personally you know marry: wait why are you working for evil when you can become good and help people plus good people don’t whip you when you do something wrong orc: hey your right I could work for good and bring peace instead of pain. I could help people and eat animal instead of men. Im a new orc thanks little guy *treebeard steps on the orc* marry: the ironey is just sickening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrinkled~Lemon Posted December 31, 2002 Share Posted December 31, 2002 hahhahahahahha.... moreeee please.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted December 31, 2002 Author Share Posted December 31, 2002 for those who dident see the first the prolog a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...oh never mind lets just get on with it. *Gandalf rides on his carriage singing, "Follow the yellow brick road" * Frodo: Gandalf! You're back! Gandalf: What about my back? Frodo: You know what I mean! It is so good to see you! Gandalf: So, my young hobbit, your infactuation has not ceased, I see. Frodo: Pfft! Like that can happen! Anyway, on to more things, how is the world? Gandalf: You know i can’t tell you important things Frodo: Well that’s good to hear! Tell me, Will you be going to uncle Bilbo's birthday party? Gandalf: They aren't bringing back that clown this year, are they? Frodo: After last year, I doubt it! *frodo gets off carraige* Frodo: Well, see you later! Gandalf mutters under his breath on a lose up shot: good riddance....... *gandalf rides up to bilbos house and knocks on the door* bilbo: oh do come in *gandalf goes to the side of the door and opens it with his staff. a shotgun blast goes through the door and bilbo comes out with a shotgun and looks around* gandalf: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD bilbo: oh hello gandalf i uh...thought you were a sackvillbaggins gandalf: nevermind that do you have the old toby bilbo: shhhhh later *they both go inside* bilbo: i need to ask you a question. do any rings ever talk to you gandalf: so what do you have to drink ring: eat at Joe’s eat at Joe’s eat at Joe’s eat at Joe’s bilbo: yeah....by the way im going away and im taking the evil ring with me gandalf: just tea thank you *later. Bilbo gives his birthday speech* bilbo: you all suck so bye *bilbo dissapears* frodo: ohhhhhhhhh boy gandalf: ok got to run frodo *a few days later frodo finds his house broken into* gandalf: BOO frodo: HOLY $#!+ gandalf: the ring is evil, that’s why it talks frodo: you hear it to, thank God ring: HEY I HAVE FEELINGS TOO gandalf:......yeah so i need to see the obviously evil saruman and get my ass kicked. you need to go to bree and make sure that if you hear tom bombadil shoot him *they hear a noise and gandalf pulls sam out of thin air* sam: ack gardening at night gandalf: whatever. i need some one to loose frodo sam: dont worry mr. gandalf i wont loose him gandalf: thats not what i said *all three are in a spooky part of the forest* gandalf: so um bye *gandalf takes out two empty halves of coconuts and starts banging them together as he gallops away* frodo: this is gonna be one long spoof *gandalf meets radagast the brown* gandalf: your not supposed to be in the movie radagast: where are you going gandalf: isengard radagast: are you rideing on a horse gandalf: yes radagast: your using coconuts gandalf: what radagast: you have two empty halves of coconut and your banging them to ether. where did you get them gandalf: i found them radagast: in the shire? the coconut is tropical. this is a temperate zone gandalf: LOOK ITS ELVIS *gandalf slips away* gandalf: saruman the dark lord whats his name...star man has found the ring in the shire. saruman: and you didn’t notice it before. have you been smoking old toby again. *they go inside* gandalf: WHAT YOUR JOINING SAMMEY saruman: he said he’d give me 5 bucks *gandalf gets ass kicked and frodo, sam, mary and pippin meet up with eachother* pippen: SHROOMS frodo: scary scream from man in black robe usually means to get off the road *nazgul appears banging coconuts together* nazgul#1: where is this person shire from the land of baggins. *sniff sniff* i smell shrooms. ring: IM DOWN HERE YOU PUTTS *nazgul goes after shrooms instead* mary: it gets dark really fast around here *nazgul chase hobbits to boat and frodo falls in water* nazgul#1: HA HA HA HA HA HA *hobbits go to prancing pony and drink* pippen: FOOD mary: BEER sam: SPOOKY MAN IN CORNER *agenct all odds by throwing the ring in the air frodo gets it stuck on his finger* sam, mary, pippen: ohhhhhhhhh boy *frodo finds himself in weird shadow world* sauron: peek a boo frodo: HOLY $#!+ *frodo takes off ring* aragorn: do it again uh i mean come with me frodo: can i ask you a personal question do you uh wash your hair aragorn: am i scary frodo: no *scean changes nazgul stabbing beds and finding out that the hobbits aren’t there* nazgul#2: do you know if there are any ring makers in bree *hobbits and strider get to weather top* frodo: i hope you know strider that when you wander off where ever your going mary and pippen are going to do something stupid to attract evil. aragorn: yes but i must rescue you hobbits in my own particular...uh sam: idiom aragorn: IDIOM nazgul#1: what’s going on nazgul#2: some midgets are making smoke signals that say "baggins is here" nazgul#1: im glad they know where that place is cause its not on the map *nazgul attack hobbits* nazgul#1: so do you guys know a Mr. shire from... sam: BACK YOU DEVILS nazgul#1: ouch man thats harsh *frodo gets stabbed* nazgul#2: hey aragorn do you think that you could just scare us away like in the book aragorn: sorry but i must fight you more uh... nazgul#3: dramatically aragorn: DRAMATICALLY *aragorn + hobbits meet up with arwen* sam: WOAH BABE-O-RAMA arwen: so you don’t wash you hair on journeys aragorn: oh shut up *nazgul try to ask arwen for directions* nazgul#1: hi uh were lost arwen: if you want him come and clame him nazgul#2: dose he owe us money or something *big wave shaped like horses sweep nazgul away* all nazgul: HOLY $#!+ frodo: gasp choke cough arwen: oh don’t be such a baby *and now we go to the happy land of rivendell* gandalf: ah old toby frodo: gandalf *gandalf hides pipe* gandalf: ok now time for flashbacks *flash back time* saruman: embrace the power of the ring or embrace your own destruction! gandalf: there is only one lord of the rings, and i cant remember his name...LOOK ITS TONY DANZA *gandalf hitches a ride with the lord of the eagles* saruman: gandalf? frodo: your not making any sense gandalf: fool of a took you know i cant tell you important things frodo: wrong hobbit Elrond : Welcome to the Matrix, wait, I mean Rivendell, Mr. Anderson err uh, Frodo Baggins. frodo: ohhhhhh boy *legolas and unimportant elves arrive. gimli and unimportant dwarves arrive. boromir and old farts of gondor arrive. boromir drops the shards of narsil * boromir: oops aragorn: im trying to read arwen: all aragorn wants to do is read his book, he has no time for me gimli: there there. hey do you want to play a game of hide the helmet arwen: how do you play *...then other things happened and aragorn managed to finish "a catcher in the rye"......meanwhile at elronds counsel* elrond: big bombad sauron has found ring and him mucho happey. all:....what elrond: you don’t like my boss nass impression all:.......... elrond: you have to take the ring into mordor and you all mite die horrible deaths. any questions...gimli gimli: how do elves walk on snow elrond: any intelligent questions...boromir boromir: can i borrow the ring elrond: no. so who wants to die frodo: ill go. the ring is driving me insane with repeating that damn poem ring: everyone hates me no one loves me im gonna eat some worms aragorn: you have my sword legolas: and my bow gimli: and my accent gandalf: well i have nothing better to do boromir: you’ll need some conflict for the story sam: im not supposed to loose frodo mary, pippen: you’ll need comic relief elrond: well at least we'll only loose one elf gandalf: well elrond we cant screw up too bad elrond: no gandalf your men are already dead uh i mean good luck *annnnnd there off....first they try to go around the misty mountains* gandalf: no we cant go that way gimli: well that was a waste of time *then they try to go on top of it* gimli: how do elves walk on snow legolas: its the shoes gimli: cool. new balance gandalf: no we cant go here either gimli: who wants to go to the spooky place *all but gandalf raise hands* gandalf: what have i gotten myself into *they go to moria and find everyone’s dead* gimli: i thought something was funny when i didn’t get any Christmas cards for 60 years *frodo gets violated by "the watcher in the water" and all get trapped in the mines* pippen: they still have malt beer here right...right??? gandalf: im lost boromir: who put him in charge again gimli: i like it here. its nice and snug on these sharp rocks aragorn: dwarves are so weird gimli: thats not what arwen thought when we played hide the helmet aragorn; WHAT!!! *aragorn starts choking gimli and gandalf remembers just in time then they see the great hall of dwarrowdelf* aragorn: dwarrowdelf gimli: dwarrowdelf gandalf: dwarrowdelf legolas: its only a model all: shhhh *gimli gets mopey over baliens death and gandalf finds oris long lost diary* gandalf: "bought the new jedi knight 2 game and i can own dori any day on MP" *skips abit* "they have taken the bridge and the second hall. we have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. drums, drums in the deep. we cannot get out. a shadow moves in the dark. we cannot get out....they are coming........P.S. if i get out of this i need to remember to pay gimli that 5 bucks i owe him. *pippen attracts the presence of evil and thus big fight breaks out* gimli: were in my own country and the elf get the better fight sceans peter Jackson: yeah throw those rocks you hobbits *frodo gets stabbed but has dwarf mail to protect him* gandalf: aww shoot uh i mean hooray for dwarf mail *balrog appears and chases them. gimli thinks he can make a 50 foot jump...right. balrog chases them to the bridge of kazad dum "don’t you just love to say those words* gandalf: YOU CANNOT PASS! balrog: hey your that wizard who stole my wallet! gandalf: uh....YOU SHALL NOT PASS! *gandalf and balrog fall into an abyss "bye bye" hobbits have a teary moment* boromir: don’t cry gimli gimli: LET GO OF ME YOU OAF aragorn: quit crying you wusses gimli: i hope that was the horn of gondor that you were jabbing into my chest *they go to woods of lothloriean* gimli: they say there is a great elf witch who lives in these woods mary: ooooooo spooooky gimli: but she wont get me, i have foxy eyes haldir: the dwarf breaths so loud that...HOLY, jeese dwarf what did you eat gimli: gaze into my foxy eyes elf *haldir ignors gimli* aragorn: forgive the company i travel with. they're all...well...stupid *they meet galadriel* all: TURN OFF THOSE FREAKING LIGHTS galadriel: muwhahahaha scary aren’t i *yada yada yada blah blah blah* galadriel: farewell frodo baggins. i give you this...shiny thing frodo: where do you put the quarter *company gets to among hen* gimli: recover strength!? what do you mean by that! legolas: a lot of orcs are on the other side. Can we go aragorn: ummmmm no *boromir fights frodo for the ring* boromir: ITS NOT FAIR *frodo disappears and goes off to mordor with Sam* Sam: im not supposed to loose you frodo: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD *aragorn legolas and gimli kill half saurons army in woods, boromir gets killed and mary and pippen get captured "perfect end to a perfect day" they put boromir in a boat and bury him* gimli: the boats stuck on a rock aragorn: er legolas: don’t look at me, im not getting it THE END Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Torque Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Hey whitedragon i cannot help you with your script considering ive only read the Hobbit and FOTR i have not seen TTT so i have no clue but i wish you good look and i love your FOTR spoof:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted January 1, 2003 Author Share Posted January 1, 2003 Originally posted by Father Torque Hey whitedragon i cannot help you with your script considering ive only read the Hobbit and FOTR i have not seen TTT so i have no clue but i wish you good look and i love your FOTR spoof:D thanks but you have to see it very soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JEDI_MASTA Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 great stuff man... keep it comin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted January 1, 2003 Author Share Posted January 1, 2003 Originally posted by JEDI_MASTA great stuff man... keep it comin ill edit my first post so you guys can keep up and i wont spam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunatic Jedi Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 You bastard! You plagiarized my script! For this you shall be annhilated by the power of the... uh... my remote control. lol. Just kidding. I have been making a FotR spoof, but its still in early stages and is still pretty long. They haven't even left Bree yet... But you did steal my coconut bit! Heh... the miracles of coincidence. OR IS IT?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted January 1, 2003 Author Share Posted January 1, 2003 Originally posted by Lunatic Jedi You bastard! You plagiarized my script! For this you shall be annhilated by the power of the... uh... my remote control. lol. Just kidding. I have been making a FotR spoof, but its still in early stages and is still pretty long. They haven't even left Bree yet... But you did steal my coconut bit! Heh... the miracles of coincidence. OR IS IT?!?! dude this is an awsome idea mabey we could work together and make our spoof twice as funney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunatic Jedi Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Muhh??? Well, a very fascinating proposition! OKAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camus Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Oh no... O_O Why do I have a feeling this is going to be so funny we all are going to be crying so hard wall we read it??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunatic Jedi Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Because you have ESP or something, because your prediction is absolutely correct! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitedragon Posted January 1, 2003 Author Share Posted January 1, 2003 Originally posted by Lunatic Jedi Muhh??? Well, a very fascinating proposition! OKAY! email me your spoof at musashi2376@yahoo.com and yes camus it probley will be and im only saying that because everyone who has read my last one couldent stop laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackDove Posted January 1, 2003 Share Posted January 1, 2003 Hmm, nice I actually laughed out loud. Do post if you make more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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