Jeedii_zaarinn Posted January 25, 2003 Share Posted January 25, 2003 note: i started chapter 1 but nobody replied to it in the fan fiction so im gonna replay the chapter and it will be in dialouge and part story also this story has been changed). A long time ago, in a galazy far far away, in the clantaani system, on board helm's deep, in the war room, longo 2 guns, leader of the moxie boys was addressing his gang. longo: i have recieved reprts that there is a new sith, Luminaro Unduli. <a hologram comes up showing a picture of the sith> He has been causing trouble on malastare. i will need to have another jedi accompany me in the Gettysburg and fly to malastare. Then we will meet up with Sebolto. Jedi joey:who will go with you master? longo: jedi adam will go with me. Adam go to the armory and get 2 muzzle flint lock rifles. i will go to my quarters and get my 2 blaster pistols and my lightsaber. then meet at the main hangar. At the main hangar: longo: are u ready adam? Jedi adam: yes master. i also brought us 2 gun pouches for the flint lock rifles, and i even remembered the bayonets this time. Also all the gear that we need for the rifles is in the 2 pouches. longo:ok good now lets get on the ship. the ship pulls out of the main hangar and jumps into hyperspace longo and adam talk about the mission ahead. adam: so were gonna go to malastare. longo: yes we are. adam u take the controls and ill head to the comm unit and contact sebolto to get permission to land the ship by his palace. the comm unit starts up and an image of sebolto comes on. longo: sebolto this is longo 2 guns. u have asked me to come and deal with the sith that has been terrorizing ur dug and gran citizens. sebolto: yes longo i have. and before u ask u may land near my palace. longo: thank u ur highness. all of a sudden the ship was rocked with an explosion longo: adam what was that!?!?!?!?!?!? adam: 2 sith like ships have came out and started attacking us. longo: get on the turret, ill get on the other. Mk-2424 will pilot and operate the forrward cannon, and the ion cannon. shields to full power! the 2 jedi went to the turrets and started blasting away at the sith star fighters. MK shot a sith fighter with a ion blast and adam finished it with laser fodder. Longo then blasted the 2nd fighter and turned it to rubble. to be continued: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeedii_zaarinn Posted January 26, 2003 Author Share Posted January 26, 2003 so what does anybody think of my story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 It'z a really cool story. A have a character, but it'z a Sith. You can check him out on the Character Data Bank. I also have a planet posted up. I'll probably make a Jedi for this story. edit: merged these posts for you, will take up less thread space that way -Redwing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 After the battle, the two Jedi could see a small craft in the distance. As it gets closer and closer, the two Jedi noticed that it is an X-wing. *A voice crackles over the comm unit* "I was wondering if you need any help with the problem on Malastare. My name is Zan-Cool Corizen. I am a Jedi from Yavin." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeedii_zaarinn Posted January 26, 2003 Author Share Posted January 26, 2003 i read ur story and planet ur person is very interesting. u should read my person and planet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeedii_zaarinn Posted January 26, 2003 Author Share Posted January 26, 2003 now to get on with the story longo contacts the jedi in the xwing longo: zan-cool this is longo 2 guns, we are on a private mission to malastare. Adam: master longo may i inquire that this jedi appeared right after the 2 sith star fighters attacked? Longo: yes i can see that. we will shoot down this jedi, and he may appear to be allinged with luminaro unduli. Adam, stay here at at the comm unit and i will go and fly the ship into attack formation. on my signal cut the transmission. longo ran to the cockpit, charged up the laser cannons and went full speed ahead. then longo signaled adam to cut the transmission and the jedi was surprised to see that longo was using ion cannons. with both ions shooting, soon the xwing was reduced to a pile of non electrical scrap. the jedi was very angry. then without further notice the Gettysburg rushed into hyperspace. end of chapter 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 After Zan-Cool saw the ship go into hyperspace, he wonders why the two Jedi attack. *Calmly starts to rig up a temporarily solution for the problem* After a few hours of rigging. The engine starts up. Zan-Cool heads to the Jedi Academy on Yavin. When Zan-Cool arrives at Yavin, he speaks to one of the mechanics, "Can you do me a favor and repair my X-Wing." The mechanics starts to check and repair Zan-Cool's X-Wing. While the mechanic is fixing up Zan-Cool's X-Wing, Zan-Cool asks a Jedi Master if he could inform Luke that if he could speak to him. After waiting a while, the Jedi Master returns and speaks to Zan-Cool, "Master Luke is ready to speak to you. Follow me please." Zan-Cool follows the Jedi to a chamber where he can see Luke meditating in the distance facing the window. Luke speaks to Zan-Cool, "Welcome Jedi Corizen." Luke then stands up and walks calmly towards Zan-Cool. "Master Luke." Zan-Cool replies while nodding his head slightly towards Luke. "The encounter with the two Jedi wasn't as successful as I planned. They thought I was intruding on their private mission to Malastera." Luke replies, "How peculiar. I will inform you when I come up with a solution to this whole perdicament. Meanwhile, you are welcome to train more in the academy." Zan-Cool responses, "Thank you, Master Luke." And with a slight nod again towards Luke, Zan-Cool and the Jedi Master heads towards the chamber's exit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 1, 2003 Share Posted February 1, 2003 Story's good so far. Maybe I might join in. (keyword =Maybe ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 1, 2003 Share Posted February 1, 2003 It would be cool if more people joined . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 1, 2003 Share Posted February 1, 2003 Ok, I'll join, but I'll be using my character from the "Mission to Ord Katrassi: Klai's Revenge" RPG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 2, 2003 Share Posted February 2, 2003 Cool...A bounty hunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 2, 2003 Share Posted February 2, 2003 On Bespin, Obi Bond Kenobi wanders through the streets and walks into a cantina. "Bartender! Hey Bartender!" Obi Bond waits a couple moments, and the bartender comes to serve him. "What'll it be, friend?" "Corellian Ale. Shaken, not stirred." As the bartender prepares Obi's drink, Obi watches a nearby holo-board. "This just in from the Bespin News Area. A couple of sith, speeding on sith interceptors, have been spotted near the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4. It looks as if they're planning some sort of invasion......." Obi, disgusted with the sith scum, bellowed:"Sithspit. They must be ones who almost nearly blew my ship apart! I better investigate this, after my Corellian Ale.........." "Hey Bartender! Where's my drink???" The bartender lays down a cold glass of Corellian. "Thank you!" He then gulps it down and rushes off to the repair station where he left his ship, The Golden Eye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeedii_zaarinn Posted February 2, 2003 Author Share Posted February 2, 2003 as the gettysburgh descend through the malastare atmosphere, longo pilots his ship to sebolto's compound. he and adam walk to the front door and was greeted by 2 dugs. they walked to the throne room. There they were greeted by sebolto. sebolto: hello master jedis longo: hello sebolto, a pleasure to see you! sebolto: here here, lets get to buisness for the next hour they talked about luminaro unduli. How they would be able to stop him. then all of a sudden!!! BOOM! luminaro Unduli comes in with 10 sith soldiers. longo: adam do you remember firing commands? adam: yes master! longo: here we go then. Ready arms, Aim!, Fire 2 blue blaster bolts come sprining out of the rifles. they hit 2 sith soldiers. meanwhile sebolto's guards take down 7 sith soldiers ducking behing some columns, longo and adam reload their rifles. longo: again with the firing commands, ready arms!, Aim!, Fire!! 2 more sith soldiers fall down and the last sith soldier takes a pot shot at longo's arm. Longo is wounded for the time being. the soldier that shot longo takes aim again but falls down as sebolto takes a shot at him. longo: thanks sebolto. luminaro: ah jedi, i see you have killed my men, there is now war between us, we will be back again! adam: master we should get back to the ship. can you walk? longo: yes. we must get back to helms deep. there we will talk about this new threat! end of part 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 2, 2003 Share Posted February 2, 2003 Obi Bond, travelling at high speeds through the galaxy, picks up his commlink radio. "Zan-Cool, are you there? I repeat, are you there?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 2, 2003 Share Posted February 2, 2003 While training in the Jedi Academy on Yavin, Zan-Cool Corizen hears his commlink go off... *Zan-Cool answers his commlink* "Ah..Obi Bond, good to hear from you old friend," Zan-Cool responds back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 "Yes, it is good to hear from you too. Say, you didn't happen to walk past any strange, dark looking men in the Academy, did you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 "No, I didn't noticed anyone with the description you gave me." Zan-Cool replies. Zan-Cool continues, "But indeed, I sense a disturbance in the force. I'll inform Master Skywalker about this strange disturbance." A while later, Zan-Cool speaks to Luke. Zan-Cool says to Luke, "Master Luke, I sense a disturbance in the force." Luke responds, "I sense this disturbance too, Jedi Corizen, I'll inform everyone to be alert. I have a bad feeling about this." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 Obi thinks hard about these two he encountered. "Hmmm, it looked like those sith were heading to the Academy. I could be wrong. But just in case......." *takes out a lightsaber.* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 *Zan-Cool picks up his commlink and contacts Obi Bond* Zan-Cool radios to Obi Bond, "I already informed Luke and he informed everyone on the Academy. Let me know what is the situation over there." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeedii_zaarinn Posted February 3, 2003 Author Share Posted February 3, 2003 As the Gettysburg comes landing in the main hangar at Helm's deep, longo and adam are very tired from their ordeal. Once the ship has docked Longo and adam rush up into the command room. There the rest of the gang awaits: longo: hey gang we got some disturbing news. we came across luminaro unduli. indeed he was terrorizing malastare and we think he won't be doing that again. we also came across another person by the name of zan cool corizan. we were able to disable his ship and we may think that he is in connection with unduli. all of a sudden jedi chris comes in with a message: jedi chris: master, there is a phone call for you, it is master skywalker from the jedi academy on yavin 4. longo goes to the phone and picks up the very very old fashion phone longo: hello you have reached wjjz and you have won a trip to the beaches of spira!!! ah im just kidding master skywalker, waaaaaazzzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuupppppppp!! whats new? luke skywalker: hello master longo i got some news for you. there are 2 people that would like to help you with this assignment, one is a jedi here and the other is a bounty hunter. here is some more good news our people found a crateload of some colonial clothes?!? since your gang is into historical stuff there is enough for you, your gang and militia. Longo: great!!!! when will it arrive? in a few months? ok. when do you want me at the academy? luke: right now if you can. longo: sounds good ill bring all my weapons and what not with me ill go alone and allow me to notify the gang and place who will be in charge. longo returns to the war room and states what he discussed with luke. he places adam in charge and then heads off to his personal ship where his weapons are already loaded. as longo takes off and heads to the jedi academy hyperspace route he wonders who the 2 people will be. end of part 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 While waiting patiently for Obi Bond to respond back, Zan-Cool decides to practice his lightsaber skills against a training remote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topshot Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 Obi parks his ship, The Tension Dragon, inside the Academy hangar bay, jumps out of the captain's seat, runs up to the Academy doorbell and buzzes Zan Cool and Luke Skywalker. Without mere introduction, Luke had already known Obi Bond would be in his presence. Luke:"Hello, Obi Bond." Obi:"Skywalker......" Luke:"I informed the academy of the attack you said the sith may start. Any updates yet?" Obi:"I've just received reports that the sith planning to attack here are elite fighters named Lord Crueder, and his apprentice, Darth Morbius. I assumed they were generals of this Luminaro Unduli's army. Can't quite tell, though." Luke:"Luminaro Unduli's army is very powerful in the force. All of his soldiers are either Dark Jedi or Sith. That's why he prepared for this war against Longo 2guns and the other academy members. I've informed Longo that you and Zan Cool Corizen will be accompanying him on his mission." Obi:"Thank you, Master Luke." Luke walks off back into his meditation room upstairs. Obi mutters under his breath,"He has got to teach me how to sense people in his presence some day........" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 After Zan-Cool finished his training. He spots Obi Bond in the distance. *Zan-Cool walks towards Obi Bond* Zan-Cool speaks, "Ah...Obi Bond, I was wondering when I will see you in person again. I see you have came prepared. You think they are really going to attack the Academy?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jokemaster Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 ((OOC: ill also use my character from "Mission to Ord Katrassi: Klai's Revenge" )) *lands his ship, the venture the right outside of the academy, jumps out and heads in, recognizing Obi Bond* "Bond, we got multiple ships heading in, and i don't think they're coming over for lunch" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth NeoVenom Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 Zan-Cool thinks and says "I guess they are going to attack after all. I sense a great disturbance on one of those ships. I think it is a sith." Zan-Cool continues, "I'll inform Luke that ships are heading this way." "By the way, my name is Zan-Cool Corizen." he introduces himself to David. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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