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Does age matter in relationships? I have a problem...


Reborn Outcast

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Yeah I know what you mean Obi. Age difference in a relationship seems to matter a lot less when you're older. I think it's okay. I mean I was in an online relationship with a 21 year old...but that's a different story:olol

 

Just make sure that she is okay with it, and she understands that it might be a little wierd since, like Rp said, she will want "more" out of the relationship.

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Yipes, this is what I call a real predicament. :D If you both were five years older this wouldn't even really be fathomed as a problem but now at these certain ages it very well could be one. I barely know anything about you, her or any other aspects of this situation so I don't know of anything useful to tell you.

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Alright well heres some 411... She was homeschooled until highschool (:eek: ) It seems kinda weird to me. Her mom kept her back before she actually started school so she would be "ready". She is a Christian, like me, so we have the same morals. She is very nice and sweet to me and (heres the kicker) she has NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND. This is what I like about her. I have only had 1 or 2 relationships but they lasted for a long time. I've never had sex or even "gone down" on a girl for that matter and she has never had sex or "gone down" on a guy. I like her because she doesn't dress like a slut who wants some, she doesn't act like a slut who wants some and she is the nicest person I have ever met.

 

 

So there Boba, maybe that will help a little. :D

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RpTheHotrod I sent you a PM.

 

Yea Boba but the only problem is my parents. :( My mom was raised with 3 sisters and only 1 guy in the house (her father who was strict). My grand-dad was real strict with dating and thats why I think shes reluctant. My dad is more relaxed but he normally doesnt have the last say in things cause of my mom. :)

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Well after hearing that, I have more confidence in the relationship working out:)Even though there is an age gap, relationship-wise you seem to be on the same level and wavelength. Good luck Reborn, hope it works out good for ya:)

 

Edit - you just have to explain to your Mum what this girl is like, and that it shouldn't matter if she was 17 or 14 (your age), you should still be given a chance because you like each other a lot, and she is not one of those types of girls.

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Originally posted by Reborn Outcast

Alright well heres some 411... She was homeschooled until highschool (:eek: ) It seems kinda weird to me. Her mom kept her back before she actually started school so she would be "ready".

 

ok, if you want to have a snowballs chance in hell at this... IGNORE the schooling...

 

i'll give you one guess as to why I know this.

 

if its "weird" to you, keep your mouth shut about it!:rolleyes:

 

other then that, at that age its a little wierd to have a 3 year split, but better its her on the high end... otherwise 'society' likes to muck it up...

 

good luck,...

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Originally posted by SPY_jmr1

ok, if you want to have a snowballs chance in hell at this... IGNORE the schooling...

 

i'll give you one guess as to why I know this.

 

if its "weird" to you, keep your mouth shut about it!:rolleyes:

 

other then that, at that age its a little wierd to have a 3 year split, but better its her on the high end... otherwise 'society' likes to muck it up...

 

Oh I know, I have never EVER mentioned it to her and I never will. I was just giving some 411 on her. :). My friends all make fun of me because they say I'm "aiming to high" I don't care though. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO DIFFERENT THAN WHEN YOU MARRY SOMEONE AND YOU'RE 30 AND SHES 40.. IT DRIVES ME INSANE. AAHHHHH

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I think they are just being cautious...you know, worrying about their son about it. Would you like it if suddenly your 15 year old came home with an 18 year old? Think as if you were his parents, then you'd understand.

 

I'm not saying they are right or wrong...I'm just saying that's why they feel that way.

 

But true..it's best you're younger liking an older, and not vice versa, heh.

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Originally posted by RpTheHotrod

I'd be a bit nervous as a parent too. an 18 year old...old enough to... eh... old enough going out with my 15 year old...

 

18 year olds these days want "more" out of a relationship.

 

 

Not to mention, my mom was married and had 2 kids at 17......

I agree on that one. Yea. It's best just be friends. But give a go if you want.

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Originally posted by Katarn07

And I am smart enough not to get into a relationship so early in life. Some are good, but for my sister and her boyfriends, only trouble has come from it. I'll wait a few years....

 

Dating is a part of growing up, that's how I see it anyway. I had my first girlfriend at 14. At this young age, it's pretty certain that it won't last for ever anyways, that much is obvious, unless it's really special. There will be somewhere down where you break up for multiple reasons. You shouldn't worry about that, it's good learning experience, cos it gives you a chance to make decisions when they need to be made, and also dating lets you found who is your type/who you would get along with when you date in later life. I don't think it should be frowned upon at a young age. You just gotta be careful.

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Let me tell you something. I'm different than most people. My definitioo of love is not "liking" or "extreme liking". Mine is "a great deal of respect with liking". When you're younger, it's just dangerous to get a girlfriend, because you might like that person sooo much you just KNOW you're in "love"...but you really don't know until after you're married. Now, if you are mature enough to have a girlfreidn RESPONSIBLY, there's no problem having one. However, if you start getting into physical contact (including cuddles, kisses, etc...) it can get very dangerous. Not always, but it can.

 

I had a girlfriend for 7 years. How? We didn't just "like" eachother... we had a great deal of respect. We never EVER touched eachother other than a simple "proper greeting" of the hands (not a handshake...the oldschool greeting). We respected eachother's interests, and respected eachother in a physical way.

Eventually, I had to move, far away, so we parted as great friends, and we still are.

 

The problem with most "relationships" is people just like eachother. They rush in physically too...first hands...but it gets old, then cuddles...then it gets old, then kisses...and it just leads from one thing to another. THAT is where it gets dangerous. If you meet a girl that wants to get close physically, and she cannot respect you physically, she is there for the "liking". It has a very high chance of not working out. If YOU are in a relationship just for the "liking", same thing. It's very rare to find another person that has such a high respect AND like if you...but when you find that person, it's special. That's the kind of person you should marry.

 

Respect and Like go hand in hand in True Love...the kind worth waiting for.

 

So, if you just want a girlfriend, go on ahead...but if you want a girlfriend that "might be the one", look for what I just said, and make sure you feel the same way about her. If you don't respect the other person enough not to get too close (including getting 'intimate') with, or vice versa, you're looking in the wrong place.

 

Now alot of you just want to go in for the liking, I'm just talking about "true love" here, heh.

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Yeah I do agree with you Rp. But at this age (teenage years), not many people are looking for those they want to marry. Dating seems to be almost a hobby to some people now though. And I think the reason why a lot of people at this age rush in with the 'hugs' and 'kisses' is because there is a lot of pressure from social expectations of today, including peer pressure. A lot of people feel obligated to do things, and get carried away in it. Sex is also an extremely controversial and popular subect nowadays, and young people are being persuaded to do it at a much younger age than before.

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Extremely true. It seems everyone gets the idea that "if you like someone, you have sex to show it"

 

Sex was intended to reproduce, but God threw in a pleasure factor.

 

These days, people do it just for the pleasure, hereby fulfilling lust....not love.

 

 

Guess what I'm saying...if you really love someone, you love them, not lust after. You Respect them enough to fullfill love.

 

 

 

btw, I understand at that age it's just for kicks...just thought I'd throw in my thoughts on actual love...because some kids think so much they just loooooove this person. I'm just showing, at that age, you really can't comprehend real love. It's...you really liiiiike that person. Some day though, it could turn into love...but that's rare at a young age.

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