Quantas is an Australian Airliner (humour)

[Jan Gaarni]

After each flight, the pilot fills out a form that says what faults have occurred during the flight, which the mechanics can look at and fix the problems if needed.

 

The mechanics then fills out on the area at the bottom part of the form, telling what they have done with the problem. The pilot then reads the report before the next flight. You can’t say that the ground crew and mechanics don’t have a sense of humour, to say the least.

Here are some actual registered complaints over lack of maintenance and problems, which Quantas’ pilots have submitted, aswell as what solutions the maintenance personell have noted.

 

By the way: Quantas is the only larger Airliner that never has had a serious accident before.

 

 

P: Problem noted by the pilot.

S: Solution noted by the mechanic.

P: Innermost wheel on left side almost needs to be changed.

S: Almost changed the innermost wheel on the left side.

 

 

P: Test-flight went OK, except the autolanding was alittle rough.

S: There is no autolanding system installed on this aircraft ...

 

 

P: Propeller #2 does not receive enough lubricant.

S: Supply to propeller #2 is normal.

Supply to propeller #1, 3, and 4 is out of order!

 

 

P: Something in the cockpit is lose.

S: Something in the cockpit has been fastened.

 

 

P: Dead bugs on the windscreen.

S: Live bugs are in requisition.

 

 

P: Autopilot creates a drop of 200 feet when the airceiling level is punched in.

S: Cannot recreate problem on the ground.

 

 

P: Evidence of leak on the right landinggear.

S: Evidence removed!

 

 

P: The sound level on the communication system is unbelievable loud.

S: The sound level have been changed to a more believable level.

 

 

P: The throttle lock makes the throttle lock.

S: Well, that’s kinda the reason why it’s there for.

 

 

P: The radio is out of order.

S: The radio is always out of order, when the switch is in the OFF position.

 

 

P: I have a feeling there’s a crack in the windscreen.

S: I have a feeling you are right!

 

 

P: Missing engine #3.

S: Engine found on the right wing after some search effort...

 

 

P: The plane behaves funny.

S: The plane has been instructed to pull itself together, fly properly, and to be abit more serious!

 

 

P: The radar is growling.

S: The radar has been reconfigured to speech.

 

 

P: Mouse in the cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

[swphreak]

P: Evidence of leak on the right landinggear.

S: Evidence removed!

 

 

P: The sound level on the communication system is unbelievable loud.

S: The sound level have been changed to a more believable level.

 

 

P: The throttle lock makes the throttle lock.

S: Well, that’s kinda the reason why it’s there for.

 

 

P: The radio is out of order.

S: The radio is always out of order, when the switch is in the OFF position.

 

P: Something in the cockpit is lose.

S: Something in the cockpit has been fastened.

 

 

The best ones

 

Are those really what they wrote down, or did they really write it but being funny?

[Jan Gaarni]

Well, I read a translated thing into Norvegian, so I had to translate it back to English, but yeah, that should be what they wrote.

 

They probably wrote some more after the joking around though on some of the things, like confirming that the wheel actually was changed and so forth.

[Wraith 8]

OMG>. those are funny.. cat installed LOL!

[swediot=)]

juts to be abit of an ******* the airline is not actually called Quantas its called Qantas ........ sorry

 

but these are really funny i showed it to one of my dads friends whos a pilot for airnewzealand and he bassically fell on the floor because he was laughing so much he really likes this sorta stuff and i thaught it was great too i give it :thumbsup:

[Jan Gaarni]

Duly noted, Swediot.

 

I just translated it, didn't make any research if it was the right name, so thanks for the info.