Funniest Quotes in the Series

[Yufster]

What were your favourite Moments/Quotes in the MI series from I to 4?

 

MI1:

The note from LeChuck to the Cannibals that went something like this:

To the Cannibals of Monkey Island,

Please refrain from making so much noise outside the Monkey Head, which doubles as my secret base of operations and home, at night. Decent people are trying to sleep. Also, do not leave messy sacrifices on my doorstep. And under NO CIRCUSTANCES enter the Monkey Head!

-LeChuck

 

Herman Toothrotte on the dead hanging man, "He was trying to put up a swing"

 

The Rubber Chicken with the Pulley in the Middle was classic.

 

 

 

MI2:

At the end, when the credits are rolling, (or flashing), it gives the name of the "Proofraeder".

 

Chuckie - "Remember when you broke my Junior Ultra Commando Assault Vehical?"

Guybrush: You tried to kill me for breaking your truck?

Chuckie - "It wasn't a truck, it was a Junior Ultra Commando Assault Vehical"

 

MI3:

Anything with Murray

[Junior™]

Pretty hard to pick favourites but I'll try:

 

SMI:

 

- the scene in which you are supposed to touch Meathook's parrot

- the whole insult swordfighting thing (classic!)

 

 

LCR:

 

- "How much wood would a woochuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

- "Any questions?" "Yeah! Where do all those little babies come from?" "Hang up you pervert."

- the ending credits: "The game is over, now do something else...like learning to fly...or brush a hunk of meat" and so on

 

 

CMI:

 

- the scene when you die on Blood Island

- the tourist boat in part III

 

EMI:

 

- the time-travelling thing on Lucre Island

- the dainty lady (it's pink!)

[Joshi]

"I like my steak Chicken Fried" and any other insult comebacks that guybrush doesn't know and so comes up with himself in CMI.

[RicardoLuigi...]

let's see here... my favorites are:

 

somi-

1)the whole cutscene in the mansion- especially: "use manual of style with paper shredder","give stylish confetti to clown". wheeeeeeeee! along with "use giant lips on yak" or something.

2)when you fall onto the rubber tree

3)guybrush (to bob): could you stop doing that thing with your head? bob: okay. (bounces his head onto his hand, then tosses it back onto his neck.

4)and the whole discussion where you ask the navigator's head for the necklace. "no! i'll never give it to you! and if you take it from me..." "what are you gonna do, bite me?" "i'm you're only way outta this place. i could keep you stranded in here forever, you know." "and i could drop kick you into the lava, you know." "on second thought, sure, you can take it!"

 

lcr-

1)when you get a choice to say to gov. phatt: "I'LL be back!" or "i'll BE back!" or "i'll be BACK!" or just plain old "i'll be back!".

2)whenever you get to talk to mad marty, he's hilarious.

3)"will you promise never to pin me down and spit on me again?"

4)when you press ctrl+alt+w, it says "are you sure you want to win? y/n" if you press yes, a screen shows up saying "you've won!" and the credits start rolling

 

cmi-

1)"all the cool stuff i found is being sucked out of my pants! now there's a strange sensation..."

2)the dying scene

3)old blind pew- i just love that name

4)when you talk with madame xima: "you know, i could put a terrible curse on you that would turn every morsel of food you eat into a cockroach inside your intestines, letting them slowly eat away at your insides, giving you the most horrible, excruciating death imaginable!"

 

emi-

1)deadeye dave is funny when you say, "do you mind if i put this music box here?" and he can't hear you! what kind of person can't hear over a stinkin' music box? blind and deaf certainly isn't a good thing.

2)otis gets put in jail. "what's with you and picking flowers?"

3)the whole dainty lady thing. "ooh, look at me! i'm guybrush threepnard! and i'm a mighty stupid pirate!"

[EnchiladaMan]

SMI: Voodoo lady: "I see you inside the giant monkey." Guybrush: "Gross."

 

...and inside the shop where you buy the sword and shovel: "Don't put your lips on anything."

 

LCR: "I can't see anything without my monocle!"

 

CMI: Murray's spill about what he will do if you give him his arm back, then him correcting himself: "What I meant to say was, I would use it to pet kittens."

 

EMI: "It's....pink..."

[sizuela]

CMI

E - How many times do I have to tell you lechuck, I just don't feel that way about you...

 

LCR

G - You tried to kill me for breaking your truck?

 

EMI

G - It's...pink...

(It's the best.. actually!)

 

 

//Siz

[Largo-LaGrande]

I like the bit in MI2 (one of my favourites) at the start when

 

Guybrush-"Im here on an even bigger adventure"

Bart-"Growing a mastachie (u no what i mean"

Guybrush-"No, even bigger

Bart-"a beard"

 

And when you dig up largo's grandfarters bone and guybrushs pants fall down

[Alia]

The part in CMI where Wally is talking about how he became the pirate Bloodnose:

 

"The seminars really brought things into focus. You don't know how empowering it is to be able to say to yourself,

 

'Yes! I am a despicable, filthy, villainous pirate, deserving blame and censure, but that pirate is who I want to be!' Everyone was very supportive. We had this great feeling of synergy.

 

"Then LeChuck kicked down the door and said, 'Ye lazy scum! Get back ta work, or I'll beat ye with yer own legs!'"

 

There are a million more.....

 

God, I love these games.

[AnxiousApe]

Any scene with Murray (the talking skull) is hilarious.

 

I can't remember how it goes exactly but the introduction scene in CMI was funny:

GBrush: "How can you see without eyes?"

Murray: "How can you move without a brain?"

 

Umm... thats the only one I can think of at the moment.

[Midnight Hawk]

CMI

 

Guybrush: "Good cards, Daddy needs to lift a pirate curse!"

 

Murray: Ibid Anything and everything he says.

 

LeChucky: "Argh Math Be Hard, Let's go shoppping."

 

" " : "I'm LeChucky"

 

LemonHead: "Shut up, or I'll eat you."

 

Guybrush: "You don't need to see my identification...."

 

Oh there are sooo many.

[zesja]

My favourite game of all the Monkey Islands is "The curse of Monkey Island"

 

I loved the part where you have to get into the "Leisure(pronounced Leesure if you say leisure like lesure) lovers club" and where you end up whipping the man with the towel, not forgetting peeling the map off the sunburnt mans back by using the botomless mug and if you happened to try and walk across the sand with no towels you would see guybrush do a hilarious jig.

[Amantis]

From EMI

Okay...Goodbye cruel adventure game! Eh...forget it...

 

Yup, I love this one.

 

- Amantis

[Demon Chuckie]

CMI: your pirate crew sing a song and piss guybrush off

I listen to it all the time

pirate-"when you meet singing pirartes..."

Guybrush - "They'll be more than you can stand"

pirate - "that was a good one"

Guybrush - "no it wasn't"

 

hee hee!

[Midnight Hawk]

"We're troublsome balladeers

Have we pity? Not a dram

We eat honey-roasted garlic

Then sing from the diapramgh"

[swediot=)]

"hey look....its a three headed monkey":D

[Amantis]

Originally posted by Demon Chuckie

CMI: your pirate crew sing a song and piss guybrush off

I listen to it all the time

pirate-"when you meet singing pirartes..."

Guybrush - "They'll be more than you can stand"

pirate - "that was a good one"

Guybrush - "no it wasn't"

 

hee hee!

 

Yup, good one too.

 

- Amantis

[swediot=)]

yes i agree that is a good one

[Joshi]

My computer is extremely customized, and one of the things that I've customized for me is all the sounds. Opening windows and using messenger comes with a barrage of COMI classic quotes. My favoties are from the poker playing scene. (and all Guybrush)

 

"Hey dealerdealerdealerdealerdealerdealer sawwing dealer!"

"No Wammies, no wammies"

"Good cards, daddy needs to lift a pirate curse"

 

and also others

 

"Matre de dios, es elle pollo diablo!"

"Loogie! Captain Loogie!"

"Lets Rock!"

 

Dominic Armato is king (Tim Schaffer is god )

[Gabez]

"Hey, that reminds me of the dollshouse I used to have!"

 

"Uh... I mean my SISTER once had"

[Herman Toothdecay]

My all time favorite is from EMI when Guybrush is shown the Dainty Lady for the first time.

 

Guybrush "But... it's pink..."

Boat Lady "You obviously have a seaman's eye for nautical details"

 

I laughed until I cried at that one.

[Andi Wan]

SOMI: "Reelect governor Marley. When there's only one candidate, there's only one choice"

 

LR: Largo - "I've got a feeling something strange is happening on my grandfathers grave"

 

CMI: "We'll all surely get scurvy unless we eat an orange"

 

EFMI: Any of Guybrush's responses to the teacher at the pirate transmogrification school. I think they are the funniest things in any of the games. Classic.

 

There are so many awesome quotes though.

 

[Mellonhead]

MI-1

"Is that a banana in yer pocket, or are you just glad to see us?"

The navigator head: 'How to get Ahead in Navigating'

 

MI-2

The pump, just standing in a pirate game.

The spitting contest.

The Brawearing pirate Largo.

Herman as a philospher.

 

MI-3

"Yer about as fearsome as a doorstep"

"Is that a really evil looking doorstep"

"Ehm no."

 

MI-4

"Goodbye cruel adventuregame... Ah, forget it."

 

And ofcourse a lot more...

[madmonkeygal!]

MI1 - The final scene, with Elaine and Guybrush watching Lechuck's remains explode across the sky, and the scene in the govenor's mansion!

 

MI2 - The scenes in the tunnels.

 

MI3 -Hm, either the part where you defeat captain Rottingham (which I can quote, and will, if you want proof!) or any part with Murray.

 

MI4 - I probably like the buildup to the ending best in EMI (but I found the actual ending itself dissapointing!)

[guybroom]

My favorate lines are mostly murry:

 

G: Can I call you Bob?

 

M:You may call me murry, the evil demonic scull.

 

 

M: They will chear as I stride through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike.

 

G: Stride?

 

M: All right then roll, roll through the gates of hell, must you take the fun out of everything?

 

 

M: I don't think you are taking me siriasly.

 

G: No I am.

 

M: Then let me here you screem in trerror.

 

G: eek

 

M: Muhahahahaha!!

 

Also there are these:

 

on the back of the box of lcr it says 'optianal easy mode for beginers and magazine reviewers.

 

Wally in Somi:

G: Why can't you just ask for directions?

 

W: That's what Magellan did, sorry cartographers joke

 

 

The classics:

look over there a three headed monkey

 

You fight like a dairy farmer

Well you fight like a cow.

 

Stan's previosly owned coffins

 

Boat man: Welcome to scull Island

G: It's a duck

bm:If you turn your head and squint it looks like a scull.

G: It looks like a bunny rabbit.

 

LC: No guybrush, I am your brother (Is that ment to be like )

 

That's enough for now

[Reaper Girl]

"That's the second biggest monkey head i've ever seen!"

 

 

In Mi2, all the things on the coffins, like "kiss me i have scurvy!"

 

PS"Kiss me, i have scurvy!" used to be my signature, but i felt the smilie in the toilet told the story of my childhood...i'm not going to 'splain...