Flying Beastie Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 Well, Christmas has come yet again. There's nothing like a holiday that reminds you that nobody actually knows or cares anything about you or your interests. It wouldn't be so bad, actually, if my mom didn't insist on trying. Here's what usually happens: mom asks me what I want for Christmas. I tell her. She gives me a blank look and asks me to write it down (in an Email, since we're in different cities). She goes around from store to store, showing the list to shopkeepers and asking if they recognize anything. If so, she buys it (this year: Jedi Academy). She also pads things out with things that she knows I'll need (food, soap, clothes, etc) or things she thinks I need (after-shave [which I don't wear], a desktop lamp [for the desk that is completely covered by a computer], a frilly shower sponge-thing [i'm a guy] etc). Meanwhile, I (who, unlike mom, has actually taken time to get to know the person I'm buying for), quickly grab some suitable gift catering to one of my mom's interests: angels, arts/crafts, souvenirs, cooking, or slow, homey, peaceful novels where nothing untoward happens and everyone lives happily ever after ( ). Inevitably, these gifts are hailed as well-thought-out and insightful, and I am praised for my skill as a gift-giver. Here's where things go south: mom is convinced that Christmas gifts should be spontaneous. So, every year, she buys one or two things that . . . that I can't explain. This year, it was a tiny "battle scale" Lord of the Rings figure (Éomir, I believe). Apparently she thinks I collect them. Possibly she sees "toy" and can't tell the difference between "Star Wars," "Star Trek," or "Transformers." More likely she just doesn't care. I don't mind this one though, 'cause the little thing is actually pretty well-sculpted; there's texture to the chain-mail and everything. The other gift I'm at a loss for. The nearest I can come to her apparent thought process is this: -Mark has a DVD player. -I should get Mark a DVD. *grabs random DVD* -Here's one. He'll love this, 'cause it's a DVD. Now, the fact that I'm posting this to a Star Wars message board should at least imply what my tastes are. Right, science fiction. I also like horror, fantasy, some comedy, and animé (not that I trust mom to be able to tell "animé" from Looney Tunes). You'd think, after over 19 years of living with me (plus five years of regular contact and visits now that I've moved out), that she'd have some idea of this. What did she get me? That's right. The Mission. Yes, that angsty, rain-forest, village-full-of-refugees thing. What is it anyway? Morality play? Romance? Character piece? Insightful artsy film? Shameless Oscar attempt? If there was somthing even vaguely SFnal on the cover, I could almost understand, but no. As far as I can tell, the only possible source of interest is that its a DVD. There was a DVD on my list, granted, but there's no possible way that even my myopic and generally ignorant mother could mistake Cardcaptors 2: The Sealed Card (shut up) for the Mission. I understand about looking pleased and surprised when you open something you don't want, but what about when you open something that makes you go "WTF?!?!?" I know she paid $26 for it too, 'cause the price tag is still on the package. I can't even take it back when she's not looking, 'cause I have no clue where she bought it. Plus, by the time I'm reliably out of her sight, I'll be back in Ottawa, and she probably got it in Cornwall (from one of the maybe two stores in the entire city that actually sell DVDs). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Yup, Christmas is all about the presents! Oh joyful, true and pure christmas spirit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 Originally posted by Jem Yup, Christmas is all about the presents! Oh joyful, true and pure christmas spirit! LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander 598 Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 About the only time I was thoroughly dissapointed or annoyed, were those times a kid when people wold give you clothes for Christmas, and you never wore them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Beastie Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Originally posted by Jem Yup, Christmas is all about the presents! Oh joyful, true and pure christmas spirit! Well, everytime I try to post something spiritual/intellectual, it turns into a flame war about something stupid and several parsecs away from the point, so I figured "why bother?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue15 Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 Originally posted by Commander 598 About the only time I was thoroughly dissapointed or annoyed, were those times a kid when people wold give you clothes for Christmas, and you never wore them. yeah! or the clothes that don't fit, or just look downright ugly! I hate that!! fortunately, i only got 1 thing that i have to return/exchange, a pair of slippers...not long enough for my feet. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 Originally posted by Jem Yup, Christmas is all about the presents! Oh joyful, true and pure christmas spirit! You never fail to amaze me with the stupendousness of your fagosity. Christmas sucked this year because I seem to have brought Black Death home with me from school and I've been sick for eight days straight and gave it to my parents a few days before Christmas and they didn't get to finish their shopping. Plus I haven't seen any of my family other than my immediate family because of the disease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabba The Hunt Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 I know the feeling, me strange gift this year was a lion king version of twister, for "when me and my house mates are really drunk", now theres a few comments I would make about this. a) while I may have liked The Lion King as a kid, its not something which I now want to watch. b) It should be made illegal for people of my weight to play twister, I could kill, or atleast serverly injure someone while playing twister. c) Me and my housemates don't get drunk that often and even less so at the same time. d) I've never had any particular interest in playing twister. You see for Christmas I usually have to buy something big (this time i have to fix my computer, buying a new cpu, ram, case (for i20! ) etc...) so I ask for money, so it can all go in one big pot, which I know my parents don't mind. Anyway my mum cant bare the thought of me not having any presents to unwrap on christmas morning (I suggested she wrap some notes up but that didnt go down too well), so atleast £20 worth of money is wasted on things that are basically useless and another £20 on things that are useful, but not being rude I really would have prefered the money . My sister got my a lava lamp which i have wanted for a long time which was cool, and my old babysitter got me a plasma ball (and about £50 worth of chocolate and sweets ) which was cool, oh and I Bill Brysons new book from some friends of the family. But yeah mums are bad at choosing presents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 Originally posted by Flying Beastie Well, everytime I try to post something spiritual/intellectual, it turns into a flame war about something stupid and several parsecs away from the point, so I figured "why bother?" I like your posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jem Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 Originally posted by Nute Gunray You never fail to amaze me with the stupendousness of your fagosity. You're a real idiot you know. I don't know why you take everything so personally. So weak minded, you're imbebilic prejudice thrives in making you foolish. Christmas has, for a long time now, ceased to be of any real importance to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kylilin Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 I don't know why you take everything so personally. I don't think its that. I think he just doesn't like you. P.S. You're ok in my book Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flying Beastie Posted December 28, 2003 Author Share Posted December 28, 2003 It's Nute. When he was born and the doctor slapped him, he didn't cry, he ranted. BTW, Nute, Get well, and hope it's not the flu. When you think about it, gifts really are a key part of Christmas. I mean, Christmas may be stated as a religious holiday, but with so many religions overlapping (I think we probably all have at least one friend who doesn't celebrate Christmas), it's become something else. Christmas is all about friends, and family, and the bonds you share with these people. Giving the perfect gift is a source of pride for me, because gifts celebrate those friendships. A perfect gift is tailored to the receiver, but also says a lot about the giver. A gift that I give to a friend will be specially chosen, and no one else would give the same gift. I guess it just bugs me when I see people ignoring the . . . the artistry of gift-giving in favour of random (some more random than others ) baubles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted December 31, 2003 Share Posted December 31, 2003 Originally posted by Flying Beastie It's Nute. When he was born and the doctor slapped him, he didn't cry, he ranted. Oh sweet merciful Jesus, that made my night!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted January 1, 2004 Share Posted January 1, 2004 Originally posted by Flying Beastie It's Nute. When he was born and the doctor slapped him, he didn't cry, he ranted. For the record, I called upon the United States to assist the British in ousting the Argentine occupation force in the Falkland Islands. Twenty-three days after I was born and ranted, the US slapped Argentina with sanctions, but it wasn't enough. Wasn't enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander 598 Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Originally posted by Nitro Oh sweet merciful Jesus, that made my night!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 *Burt's Bee's* brand bay rum-flavored personal grooming kit, with chapstick, moisturizing cream, exfoliating soap and other foppish nonsense. Bay rum? Excuse me, do I look like the Caribbean sort? Since none of you can see me, I'll just say no, I'm more of a northwestern rough-and-ready type; I'm someone who should smell like pine needles. Exfoliating soap? What teh chocolate mint fudge...? I don't want my skin falling off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nute Gunray Posted January 2, 2004 Share Posted January 2, 2004 Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit Bay rum Which bay? could be Hudson Bay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted January 3, 2004 Share Posted January 3, 2004 Or the Bay of Fundy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 maybe the stuff in cubay libre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 On-tpoic, a friend gave me a rubber penis as a joke for my birthday last year... I mounted it (yes, pun intended) on my dog's head and called him Dildo Dog: The Girls' Favorite Unicorn. Looking back, I wish I had a picture of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gold leader Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Why not mount it on your own head and call yourself: Naughty Nitro, The Incredible Duocorn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 i would mount it to the behind .. so i could play the double sandwich inlay hammer of course you are not me. perhabs i am not you. or both of it. man i think you got the idea. i talk too much. waaaay toooo much. ... errrmm.. btw nitro.. how's that cute little baby doing? everything is well i hope?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 I was pleased with my haul this year, considering I only asked for one thing. And I got that one thing too, which happened to be the Full Metal Jacket DVD. Also pulled in a couple of CDs and stuff. My favorite present was from one who knows me well, which happens to be me. And it was cheap as hell too. Only cost me a penny. Got me a four-disc set of Command & Conquer music from four of the best C&C games out there. I can't believe Best Buy sold it to me for a penny. As for gift giving, my piggy bank was again empty as soon as the shopping season rolled around. I usually know what to give people for Christmas, so no one has to worry about my gifts...only me and the strain it puts on my finances. Blah on Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted January 7, 2004 Share Posted January 7, 2004 Originally posted by Rogue Nine I was pleased with my haul this year, considering I only asked for one thing. And I got that one thing too, which happened to be the Full Metal Jacket DVD. d. r. o. o. l. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyan Farlander Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 I never saw Full Metal Jacket, and it was on TV the other day, so I thought I'd watch it. It was like the most totally random, stupid crap ever. The individual scenes were OK, but as a whole film, it was really all over the place. Seriously. I'm not even sure what that was supposed to be. Stanley Kubrick is the most overrated director in the history of the universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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