tags Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 THIS SHOULD RATTLE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn: 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermie Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Is there a point to this thread? If not, then quit wasting my internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 lol, I remember these, they were posted before awhile back. It's not that hard to understand really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiE23 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 *Coff* Heheheheh, my German teacher gave that to me, TiE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jebbers Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 i dont get number 22? *scratches head pondering it* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiE23 Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Originally posted by jebbers i dont get number 22? *scratches head pondering it* Me neither, but I think it had something to do with staying up all night coughing, but still sleeping, I forget. TiE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IG-64 Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 I think it has something to do with the "ugh" thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Father Torque Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Hmmm, this is pretty cool but it looks like you copied it from another website or another forum. But I still think it's funny, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Sitherino Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Yeah, this thread sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpTheHotrod Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Er...seeing that this isn't turning into anything pretty.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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