[fic] [FIC] The Journies of Ryan Pano

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Now this Exile character acctuely has to be a character in a series of stories. So submissions will be often. Hope you all like it. Enjoy!

 

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Visiting the Pole

 

Another droid part fell off the cliff of the large plateau, while Atton and Ryan were searching the droid debris looking for a comm. system to call for help. They were freezing, and not wearing anything more than casual city clothes, their desperate and enraged searching for a way off the plateau, for which they weren't even sure if even it was the right one to search for a hidden hangar. Bao-Dur, the engineer which helped them get to another shuttle ('To yet crash again', as Ryan thought) layed unconscious next to the broken wing of the shuttle, and Kreia was, instead of helping Bao-Dur, sitting on a rock.

 

Atton raised his head and kicked a rock which went over the cliff.

 

-Nothing! From a mini-mech not even a damn comm. system!-

-We have to find a place to hide. A blizzard is coming.-

 

Atton looked at Ryan while blinking from the heavy snow.

 

-Hide under the ground uh?! Where the heck are we going to hide!?-

 

Ryan looked around and then saw something, and looked at Atton again.

 

-There is a door right next to you.-

 

Atton turned around and saw a door behind him.

 

-Oh.-

 

Ryan went to the door, and started picking the lock.

 

-Let's go inside and try to make a shelter, and then we'll take care of Bao-Dur.-

 

Kreia continued sitting on the rock not minding the snow.

 

-I will stay here and try to sense something through the Force.-

 

Ryan paused the lock picking, and turned to Kreia.

 

-Listen grandma', you better stop pooping around rocks and get up so that we could make a shelter here!-

 

Kreia got up and went to the door. The door opened after several seconds.

 

Ryan Pano was satisfied about his success and smiled.

 

-Just like flying a Battleship.-

-It's that hard to open a door?!-

 

Ryan looked at Atton with certain rage and added: -Just get in there!-

-Okay...-

 

They entered the door, leaving Bao-Dur outside to make a shelter inside. The inside was obviously a huge residential palace.

 

-HALT!-

 

They stopped when the young woman with a staff and a white cloak over her head yelled.

 

-Put down your weapons and we won't harm you.-

 

Ryan crossed his hands and asked:

-Really? You and what army?!-

 

Right then a group of completely identical women showed up from the dark.

Kreia put a hand on her forehead and whispered: -Why did you have to ask?-

 

Atton snuffed and looked around.

 

-Great! We're in the sanctuary of the Space Amazons.-

-No, it's Yeti's harem.-

 

Ryan and Atton exploded into a hysterical laugh, while the women increased the length of their staffs.

 

-We will take you to our mistress now.-

 

Ryan calmed and added:

 

-No wait! It's the sanctuary of the ICE QUEEN!-

 

Now Kreia started to choke a bit and the women started to walk towards them.

 

-If you lay down your weapons, this can be peaceful.-

 

Ryan started to reason with them:

 

-Look, we can settle this in several different ways: We fight, I can defeat you, you can defeat me, but we can talk peacefully by laying down our weapons. We don't have weapons, but you do.-

 

One of the women approached Ryan and knocked him unconscious, while Atton and Kreia's eyes were covered by handkerchiefs and taken away somewhere else.

 

********************************************************************

 

Ryan then started to wake up, and started blinking from the fatal blow in the head while sitting on his knees and looking at the floor.

 

-Oh, my head...-

 

Ryan groaned and his head hurt a lot. Suddenly his vision started to come back and he saw seven women in white suits standing around him.

 

One stood in front of him on the edge of the white marble floor on which he was standing.

 

-Welcome to the Telos Academy. We are the handmaidens, and we wish to offer you a short stay here.-

 

Ryan regained his consciousness.

 

-Nice outfits... Although they would look better on the floor, with all of you standing above them, not minding the short hair of course. Oh! And thanks for the bang in the head, I bet that not even a rancor is more non-hospitable than you.-

 

The handmaiden approached him and slapped Ryan turning his cheeks all blush red.

 

-Our mistress was right about you... You are such a fool.-

 

-Who the heck has a home here? Darth Santa Claws?! And what does this mistress know about me? If it's a woman, then why is she surrounded by women?-

 

A short silence endured. Ryan and the handmaiden were looking at each other.

 

-It would be nice if you answered at least one question.-

-We are the ones who make questions.-

-Am I supposed to be a guest here?!-

 

The handmaiden started a recitation.

 

-Our mistress is a Jedi Master, the last of the Order, the one of the Jedi, her nob...-

 

Ryan interrupted:

 

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cut the title crap and tell me what's her name.-

 

The handmaiden looked at Ryan with anger.

 

-She is a Jedi, greater than you will ever be.-

 

-How about you just take me to her.-

 

The handmaiden grabbed Ryan around the neck and pulled him toward her.

 

-How about I kill your friends, instead of listening to my speech.-

-All right, bureaucrat, I'll listen.-

 

The handmaiden let him go and she started again.

 

[nextpage]

 

*************************************************

 

-Why is it every where I go, I end up in a cage!?-

-Perhaps you are meant to be in one.-

-And perhaps you are meant to be in nut-house.-

 

Atton and Kreia were in the cages, trying to ignore each other, but:

 

-You are such a jerk!-

-You are so annoying-

 

Provocations were often. Kreia spent the most of her time meditating, while Atton was looking around, trying to find a way to get out of there.

 

A few minutes later a handmaiden entered the prison carrying food on a plate and inserting them in a converter which transferred the food into the cages. Kreia picked up the bowl which was filled with a strange blue, gooey substance. Atton looked at the bowl, wondering how he gets himself in these messes. He thought about his dream of getting rich and living the rest of his days on a planet which was considered a paradise, called Naboo. He was a bit sad when it came to observing his life so far. And now he is stuck in this giant ice berg, and the only hope he had was some charm and pazzak. And he smiled and thought to himself: 'I don't need anything else to get out of here'. His thoughts then again concentrated on the bowl again.

 

The handmaiden started walk toward the door when Atton called.

 

-Hey! I have a question... What is this?-

 

He showed on the bowl filled with something. She looked and said:

 

-Shy’ rack slime poo balls.-

 

Kreia stopped her eating and started to spit all over her cage and spilled the rest of the substance at the cage. The cage, being electrical, burned it all and caused electrical discharging.

 

Atton pulled his jacket and asked:

 

-So... Can you let me out?-

-Only if the mistress says so.-

 

Atton smiled charismatically.

 

-Maybe there is a better world out there; you can come with me if you want to.-

-I like it here, thank you.-

 

It was obvious to Atton that charisma didn't work, so he made a sad grimace.

 

-All right... I guess that I will be on that ship all alone, sitting at my stupid chair, tingling crap, and being alone.-

 

He turned around and started to imitate crying, and then smirked with his eye unnoticeably to see how she reacts.

 

-I guess so.-

 

Atton turned suddenly.

 

-Oh, come on! Please...-

-NO!-

 

She yelled and exited the room. Atton watched her while she exited.

 

-Oh, Damn!-

 

Atton was embarrassed, at how he ashamed himself by trying to seduce the handmaiden. He put his hand on his forehead, and put the hand against the cage to balance like putting an elbow on the table. But alas, he quickly removed his elbow with an 'Ouch!' because he burned his elbow.

 

Kreia looked at him and said:

 

-She is beautiful, isn't she?-

 

Atton realized that she was obviously teasing him so he took the bowl full of that poo and looked at it.

 

-Yeah, she is... Want some?-

 

He looked at her and showed her the full bowl. She turned and started to throw up. Atton entered a hysterical laugh.

 

-HA HA HA HA! Man...-

 

And he threw the bowl at the cage and created an electrical discharge. And sit down to wait for their release.

 

****************************************************************************

 

-... and so we follow her without any questioning, to follow her cause.-

 

When she looked down she noticed that Ryan's head was bent down. He was obviously asleep; since it was both dark and he got bored of her long speech. The handmaiden woke up Ryan by slapping him again and turning on the lights, but Ryan still held his head down.

 

-Were you even listening to me?-

-Yes, I was...-

 

Ryan still held his head down.

 

-Then repeat what I said!-

-Um... No, thank you.-

 

The handmaidens were enraged because of his responses.

 

-That's it! We'll make sure that you get the worst treatment possible!-

 

Ryan than thought of testing how far will they go. He then tried to charm them by smiling at them. He looked at them and made such a charismatic smile, that no woman could possibly resist him.

 

-And I thought that I would be a prisoner to such beautiful and gallant ladies.-

-You... There should be... No guests.-

 

The handmaiden was confused and twitched with emotions on her face, with anger, surprise, then a stunned expression and then she opened her eyes completely and stood silent. The other handmaidens looked surprised and stunned by the words he said and by the looks of Ryan. Ryan was a person with beautiful dark eyes, charismatic smile, short dark hair, white skin, a face that could be considered by every woman a handsome face.

 

-I believe that I owe you an apology; it seems like that you were different than I expected. It must be me who is the problem. So, I apologize for not being nice to you.-

 

The handmaidens smiled and each on of them realized that Ryan, who was known as the Exile in the eyes of her mistress, was not as bad as expected.

 

-No, it's our fault. I apologize for slapping you.-

 

They forgave each other. And the handmaidens untied Ryan.

 

-Thank you. - Ryan got up.

-So... How many of you are there?-

-Some four hundred and fifty.-

-That much?! What is a four hundred and fifty women doing here?-

-Our mistress said that it is for the best like that.-

-And who is your mistress?-

-Atris.-

 

Ryan opened his mouth and widened his eyes. He was both surprised and happy.

 

-ATRIS! HE HE HE! I have to see this. Please take me to her.-

 

The handmaidens led Ryan to Atris.

 

-By the way is there any black sheep in your herd.-

-Well, there is one.-

-Who is she?-

-She is the Last of the Handmaidens, we tend to avoid her.-

 

During the way, Ryan was laughing to death in his thoughts, and smiling while going. They reached a chamber and Atris entered the room. And sat on a chair which resembled a throne

 

-I thought that you would seek vengeance for exiling you, and then perhaps it is good that the handmaidens are here.-

-Believe me. If I knew that you were here, I would have bought a fighter.-

-I hope that you took care of him?-

 

Atris eyed one of the handmaidens, obviously questioning them. The handmaiden panicky waved her hands.

 

-Yes we did. We tortured him like a beast.-

 

Ryan figuring out that they were in trouble started to imitate pain.

 

-Yes. OWW! They beat the crap out of me. Shame on me! OW!-

 

Atris was indeed content for hearing this, since she hated Ryan for some unknown reason to the handmaidens.

 

-Good work, girls! He deserved it.-

-What's this Atris? Being surrounded by women? You are such a brat!

 

Atris jumped out of her chair, trying to defend herself.

 

-And you are a perverted idiot!-

-Hey! I only dated women.-

-EVERY woman in the Academy on Dantooine!-

-So what?!-

 

Atris gasped.

 

-Why you!-

-You are forgetting the Jedi Code… -

 

Atris was obviously in a trap so she started flinging accusations again.

 

-Because of you, all four of my students loosened their efforts in their studies.-

 

Ryan raised an eye-brow.

 

-I didn't know that that happened.-

-You seduced them!-

 

Ryan thought a little and then started explaining.

 

-Well, actually. They seduced me. I caught them once smuggling Corellian Ale, and then they started obsessing me and the next thing I knew, I left the room with a paper signed on by the three of them. Hm. Perhaps they acted under your influence. But that was a swell experience.-

 

Atris was pretty mad she snuffed and said:

 

-HM! The Jedi Council should have listened to me about tighter security of who enters and exits.-

-And I wouldn’t be the one who is caught. HE HE HE!-

-But you were as a war criminal in the Mandalorian Wars.-

Ryan suddenly stopped smiling and put a serious grin on his face, realizing the important theme she started.

-The Mandalorians had to be stopped.-

-You were impatient, and you had to rush to battle like an animal.-

-The Republic asked us to help them.-

-The Jedi Council had to calculate the events, we could not go to war just yet, and we had to wait.-

-Tell that to the millions that died in the Outer Rim because of your waiting.-

-It is obvious that you think that you were right for going to war, well let’s just end it.-

She cleared her voice and began again:

-So why are you here?-

-Um… - Ryan thought up a bit and said:-I am here to show you that I am Goofy Goober!-

-What? - Atris blinked in confusion.

-Just kidding. -

-Why?-

-To get my ship back.-

 

-Ah. Your ship, The Ebon Hawk? It is not your ship unless you confess your crime.-

-Yes, that’s my ship. What crime? - He asked being confused, and then remembered. –Oh, that thing! Yup. – said Ryan while remembering it. –One hell of a boom wasn’t it? - said with a saddened voice. –Shame, barely got live out of there; and to think that I didn’t take a picture of it… -

-Are you aware of the magnitude of your crime?-

-Yes… - said Ryan with a voice which indicated that he was annoyed: -Peragus went into a boom, and those were actually illegal fireworks and I couldn’t care less.-

-The magnitude of your crime will be so great that twenty other worlds will collapse because of what you did.-

-Twenty worlds with one boom!? EVEN BETTER!!!- Ryan yelled cheerfully.

Atris looked at him angrily.

-Are you even listening to me?-

He paused; and said:

-No.-

 

She showed disgust on her face:

-You make me sick!-

Ryan said:

-Yeah, at least I don’t puke when I see you. You are really the ugliest woman there is. But if you ever asked me to go out with you, I would have said: -

 

She now widened her eyes.

Atris looked at him and felt the past feeling for the only man in her life: Ryan Pano. She wanted Ryan to be her love slave since he came to the middle class of the Jedi Academy. Although she was an absolutist she wanted to have Ryan. And she was hoping that he would say that he loved her, so she continued paying attention. The second when he was supposed to say what he meant was like eternity.

 

Ryan said:

-I would never go out with you, you rotten shutta!!!-

 

Atris laid back into her chair and said:

-You are despicable. -

-Yeah, well if I am despicable, then you’re a piece of s**t. So no wonder you’re a Jedi Master! -

 

Atris exploded and yelled out:

 

-Take your damn ship, and:Get OUT!!!!!-

-OOOOHHHH! Touched that nerve now didn’t I!?-

She pulled out her light saber:

-I’m warning you!-

-All right, I'm leaving.-

 

Ryan withdrawed, followed by some of the handmaidens. After Ryan and most of the handmaidens left, one approached Atris and asked her:

 

-Was this meeting... painful to you, mistress?-

 

-This brought out many emotions that were best left forgotten.- Atris angrily stared at Ryan who was leaving the room. -He defied me... ME! Over the all women of the Academy.- Atris stopped talking, gasped lightly turned around and went to her chambers. Adding to the handmaiden:

 

-I have to meditate a little, don’t' disturb me.-

 

The handmaiden bowed down.

 

-As you wish, milady.-

 

Atris went to her chambers and locked the huge door behind her. She walked casually across the room not minding the Sith holocrons around her. She went to a wall, looked around to see of nobody is looking, knocked on the wall several times and entered the liquid cement. Inside were a mirror and a wardrobe. Atris approached the mirror and looked at it. She then untied the knot at her neck, and the robe fell down. Atris stood stark naked in front of the mirror, curiously looking at the reflection.

 

'Am I really that ugly as he thought I was?' she thought.

 

She then looked again and said:

 

-No way!-

 

*****************************************************************

 

Ryan, accompanied by five handmaidens, continued through the hallways trying not to think of the meeting he experienced. Obviously he didn't like Atris because she caused much harm to other people. Like the time when destroyed the crops in the front yard of a poor Dantooine family, the family wanted to be satisfied, but Atris pulled her lightsaber and headed toward the man of the house. He thought that, if he wasn't there at that time, they would have been goners. He remembered pulling his lightsaber with gleeming blue color and beating Atris in the duel, trying to defend the family. And from that day forward, he never respected Atris, but she started to in fact like him.

 

Suddenly he was pushed up against the wall and a handmaiden embraced him. He was a bit surprised, but she was enjoying it. She then stopped, looked at him and said:

 

-How about some relaxing, handsome.-

 

Ryan realized right away to what were they calling him to, so he was unsure.

 

-I don't think so, I mean... I am in a hurry...-

 

The handmaidens started teasing him by dancing around him, and then Ryan smiled and said:

 

-Why the hell not?-

 

An hour and a half later...

 

Ryan pulled on his jacket and got up thinking that it was time to leave.

 

-Going already?-

 

He turned and saw a handmaiden smiling from the bed. He smiled back and left a lock of his hair which was in his pocket as a memory to them.

 

-Just something for you, when you're all lonely.-

 

He walked out the room closing the door behind him. And before he could start walking, three new handmaidens showed up in front of him. One of them looked suspiciously and angrily at him.

 

-Where are the handmaidens that were with you?-

 

Ryan started explaining right away:

 

-Well, you see... We were walking down the stairs, over there. - He showed toward the stairs which were 5 meters away from him. -And then suddenly, a raccoon came there and started scratching the heads of those handmaidens. I yelled at the raccoon: "Hey, stop irritating them!" and he said...-

 

He paused after looking at the handmaiden, which obviously wasn't buying it. And he finished.

 

-"Ryan you're a stink at lying." I was just kidding. The real story is actually: They sprained their ankles.-

 

-Did you take care of them?-

 

Ryan smiled and looked to the side.

 

-I sure did...-

-What is that supposed to mean?-

-Oh, nothing.-

 

They continued through the hallways towards the prison and the hangar.

 

[nextpage]

 

*******************************************************************

 

-Has your impatience swayed you already?-

-And has your patience put you to sleep already?-

 

Kreia fell asleep. Atton stood in the cage trying to amuse himself by playing pazzak in his head. 'Four and three make seven, turn the card, it's six... Bah! Forget it...’

 

He obviously didn't amuse himself, so he was just standing. Becoming impatient of sitting in cages until the rest of his life he yelled at the handmaidens who were talking to each other:

 

-Hey! Can I get out of here?-

 

They didn't answer. And he was left to his thoughts again. 'What's taking him so long?’ He looked around to just look at the ugly blue ornaments on the wall to amuse himself. He started to wonder who would be their leader, and why women here. And it obviously seemed to him that women didn't like him. A lot of thoughts were passing through his head, without any possible connection to each other. Suddenly a felling most common to every creature in the galaxy came over him and he had to 'do what he had to do' because he was urgent. He was panicked and jumping on his feet he called for the two handmaidens in the corner.

 

-Let me out, I need to go to the toiler.-

 

They refused to answer him.

 

-Excuse me but this is a big emergencyyyyy!-

-NO!-

 

Atton was then really mad at them, thinking about torturing them somehow. He was really in panic; he couldn't get out because of the damn force cage. And then he remembered that the force cage make electrical discharging which create a starry fog, when it comes in contact with organic liquids.

 

He stopped turned his back to the handmaidens, unzipped his pants and started 'finishing the job'. He felt relief while 'doing the job', and then the discharging began and they were emptying at the floor, towards where his hands were pointing. He quickly realized this and he zapped some cylinders in the corner. The handmaidens were in shock since the electricity was getting more powerful and grater by the second. Atton then made an evil smile and turned around and started flinging the handmaidens around the room and destroying the control panels behind them. Atton felt alive, happy and content for gaining his power, he thought that he was a Jedi Master. Even though he finished the job a long time ago (about four seconds ago) the discharging were still affected by his hands. And out of joy he yelled:

 

-All bow down to ATTON, the Lord of the Jedi! - He destroyed some metal boxes, being happy and all. The handmaidens were hysterically screaming, and he could see what was happening as much as they could: Nothing. Enjoying the moment he closed his eyes, wanting that this moment never ends.

 

And then everything went silent, the electrical discharging stopped. Atton opened his eyes and noticed that there was no force cage, the room was in mess. And then he saw Ryan who was holding an unplugged cable in his left hand and looked at Atton with confusion.

 

-What, in the Force, are you doing?!-

-I was just ummm...-

 

Then Atton heard laughs. He turned toward the source and saw nine handmaidens laughing while pointing at him.

 

Atton was confused.

 

-What's so funny?-

 

Atton looked down and screamed in shock: -AAHHHAAAAH!-

 

He quickly pulled up his pants and said:

 

-You just laugh; you little bratty children! Not even the Super scientist genius could make a difference between you all and gizka.-

 

The handmaidens stopped laughing and stood in their Echani stances.

Atton stopped talking; Ryan looked at him and said:

-You always have to say something wrong! What kind of a sick agony makes you do such things?-

Atton smiled and said:

-Desire for women?-

The handmaidens were starting to approach them slowly.

Ryan said:

-Wrong answer. Care to pick again?-

Atton pulled out his cards, showed them to the handmaidens and said:

-Pazzak! - He looked at the handmaidens who were getting quite angry. He looked at them helplessly and said with a whimpering voice: -Anyone? –

Atton knew that they were in a trap. The handmaidens were ready to strike, he felt the fright seed itself into his bones, and he could feel his doom. But then something came into his head and told them with a smile:

 

-How about in a bet!? Nar Shadaa style!-

The handmaidens stopped and looked confusingly at each other, thinking what it might be…

-Is it a game? – A handmaiden asked.

-Oh, and a very good one. – said Atton with a confident smile.

-Let’s try it.-

-SURE!-

 

Atton turned to Ryan not taking off his smile and whispered:

-Watch the master at play…-

Ryan smiled and crossed his hands and said:

-You know, I’m going to miss the “Master at Play” this time, so I’ll wait here.

-Your loss. - Atton turned to the handmaidens: -Let’s go somewhere…-

The handmaidens left the prison exited and Atton followed them.

 

Two hours later…

 

The door of the prison opened. Ryan turned to the door and saw Atton enter the room, his pockets were full of credits, and then a rock flew into the room breaking against the wall.

Atton smiled, turned and yelled while putting his cards into his pocket.

-Thank you ladies for a wonderful game of Pazzak; Nar Shadaa style! - A rock flew in again nearly hitting Ryan, who quickly dogged.

-Don’t forget: Always make bigger bets and better pictures!-

 

The door closed and Atton pulled out a series of pictures.

-Something to please me…-

 

Ryan quickly understood what the pictures were and he took them from Atton in a swift move. Atton looked at him with sadness.

-HEY! Give those back.-

-One thing you have to understand, Atton; is that keeping something like this is an insult to all the living beings in the galaxy.-

-What!? No I can’t have any entertainment in my cockpit! -

-Precisely. -

 

Ryan burst the pictures into flames. Atton was sad.

-Now go and wake them up, or you’ll end up in a cage again!-

 

Ryan went off to wake Kreia up; Atton looked at him and whispered:

-Gees, what a grouch… -

 

Ryan then turned, smiled and told him:

-You know how I spent that hour and a half here?-

-What hour and a… -

Atton widened his eyes in shock, he frowned and said:

 

-You lousy git! –

-Right back at you. - Ryan smiled.

-What do you say we get out of here?-

-Sure.-

 

Ryan and Atton woke up Kreia and Bao-Dur and went to the ship. They went into orbit and stopped there to rest.

 

****************************************************************

 

Atton sat down at the chair near the holo projector.

 

-Well, good thing we got out of there, another five minutes and I would kill them all.-

-You really shouldn't behave like that you know. Especially toward women. - Ryan wanted to point out to the mistakes in his behaving but couldn't do much about it.

-But I don't believe one thing...-

-What?-

 

Atton snuffed looked disappointingly towards the hall and looked at Ryan with some confusion.

 

-How did you do it?-

 

Ryan smiled.

 

-Do what?-

-How did you seduce them?! When I tried with one I couldn't do it, and every time in my life I did it. You know you must be a jinx to me.-

-Easy. I stole those tricks from you.-

-You did what?!-

 

-Just kidding.-

 

Ryan smiled and started to exit the room and so were the others. Suddenly T3 barged into the Main Hold and hysterically started to beep.

 

-Dwoooo-WEE! Bzeee!!!-

 

Ryan looked at it seriously; trying to figure out what was it saying.

 

-What is it? Slow down damn it! You're not making any sense!-

 

The droid started panicky running around in a small circle, when Ryan opened its head and slapped the main core, causing the droid to calm down.

 

-DuD! Boobzee...-

-Don't mention it, what are you saying?-

 

The droid made some "beeps" and "toots". Everyone listened to it carefully.

 

-He says that he has the recording of my trial. Where did you get it?-

 

The droid explained. Ryan was happy and said:

 

-Remind me to let this ship gets stolen more often.-

 

T3 understood this as a compliment and thanked him.

 

-Now let's see what happened...-

 

Atton got up from his chair and rushed toward the lower left part of the ship.

 

-Just let me get some P corm.-

 

Atton returned after twelve seconds disappointed and said:

 

-I can't believe this! There is no kitchen here. How in the Force are we going to eat, and what are we going to eat?-

 

Bao-Dur replied:

 

-Hold your pants tight! - He giggled and continued: -I'll make a damn kitchen sooner or later.-

-Yeah. Well, anyway I'm not going shopping, that stuff is for girls.-

 

Atton thought about something and said:

 

-Wait a minute!-

 

He left the room and searched the ship carefully. He came back with his eyes widened and white as pale.

 

-What's wrong? - asked Ryan.

 

Atton looked at him and said:

 

-There is no toiler on the ship!-

 

Ryan was a bit mad now and said quietly to him self looking towards the floor:

 

-Who made this piece of junk.-?

-You know...- began Atton: -We don't have force cages which destroy all organic liquids to make fireworks.-

-Then use the Force to sustain it. - suggested Kreia.

-Shut up.-

 

Ryan decided to stop this and told T3:

 

-T3 roll the film.-

 

T3 inserted his robotic arm into the holo projector and a few seconds later, the holo projector was showing something.

 

It showed a room, a circular room, with chairs around the middle. In the chairs were sitting five Jedi Masters. They were: Vrook, Kavar, Zez Kai Ell, Lonna Vash and last but not the least Atris. A few seconds later Ryan entered the room in his standard Jedi robes, carrying his blue saber in his hand. He looked with his eyes toward Vash, smiled and sent her a light wave. She smiled back and returned the wave, but stopped since Kavar looked at her.

 

Vrook took the first chance to speak with him and started the trial:

 

-Do you know why we have summoned you?-

-I summoned myself, don't turn the tables.-

-Cut the crap, why are you here?-

-To answer for my crimes at Malachor V.-

 

Zez Kai then began to speak:

 

-Why have you defied us? The Jedi were always the guardians of peace. And you had to do it, why?-

 

Ryan started to think and then put his hands around his head like a scale. He looked at the right hand:

 

-Go out there and save as much lives as possible before it is too late...- and then he looked at the left hand: -...or sit back and wait while the Council evaluates the situation, while the Outer Rim burns.-

 

He then looked at them and made the right hand look like a heavy, important fact.

 

Kavar interfered:

 

-Your sence of humor is rather pathetic.-

-So are your feelings for me.-

 

Vash began her little speech:

 

-You are a Jedi no longer, you are deaf to yourself.-

-What can I say: S**t happens.-

 

Atris soon wanted to begin her speech:

 

-Your arog...-

-Hey! I don't want to listen to you.-

-Your punishment will be exile, leave your light saber.-

 

Ryan approached the center stone. It was indeed hard for him to leave the Order, since he dedicated his entire life to it. But he thought to him that the bright side is that he could date women without any fear of getting caught and punished. He stabbed the center stone, felling a goodbye towards it. He let it go, turned and knew that he was saying goodbye to the Order forever...

 

Kavar looked at Vrook and asked him:

 

-Should have we told him the truth?-

-No! It would only complicate matters, it is best left unknown to him.-

 

Then a few minutes later the holo projection disappeared. Atton looked at Ryan and commented:

 

-Man! You sure do have guts.-

 

Ryan didn't pay attention to him and was pretty concerned, he sighed and continued looking at the holo projector.

 

-Are you all right?-

-Yes, I'm fine.-

 

Kreia left the room.

 

T3 started beeping and tooting. Ryan looked at it and he was surprised.

 

-There's more? Play it!-

 

T3 immediately played the rest of the records. But then instead of the trial, it showed something else. It showed a handmaiden taking a shower. Ryan was shocked, he covered his eyes. Atton on the other hand paid a lot of attention to the holo vid. He smiled and said:

 

-HO HO HO! Looks like that I'll have some entertainment in the cockpit from now on.-

-And I something during my breaks. - added Bao-Dur.

 

Ryan yelled:

-Turn that thing off!-

-No way. - They said both not taking their eyes of the holo vid.

 

Then they heard footsteps throughout the ship. The footsteps were getting louder.

 

Bao-Dur informed:

-Someone’s coming.-

 

Atton started to panic.

-It's that old witch. Quick! Hide the stash!-

 

Atton quickly pulled out the data pad containing the holovids from the projector and gave them to Bao-Dur.

 

-What do I do with this?-

 

Ryan yelled at him:

 

-Hide it somewhere. QUICK!-

 

Bao-Dur looked around trying to figure out where.

Atton could hear the footsteps closing in really quick, and started to hysterically panic.

 

-Kreia's coming. Decide, before it's too late!-

 

Bao-Dur saw the remote; he grabbed it from the air, opened it and said:

 

-Sorry. Duty calls!-

 

He threw the data pad into the thing and held it a bit in his hand. At the same moment the person who was approaching the Main Hold, entered the room. The person stood in the shadow, but it wasn't Kreia as Atton thought...

 

It was a handmaiden and only the boots could be seen.

 

-Those are Atris's archives which you stole.-

 

Atton was angrily shocked.

 

-What the hell, are you doing here?!-

-Atris sent me, to keep an eye on you.-

-Well, if you are going to stay: either you stay in the cargo hold, or your a$$ goes through the air-lock.-

 

Ryan was obviously displeased towards Atton disrespect and looked sharply at Atton, then looked at the handmaiden and said gently:

 

-Don't pay attention to him. You can take the casual rooms.-

-No, I'll be fine there. But thank you for your kindness.-

 

She then finally stepped out of the shadow, reviling herself. And then, suddenly, Ryan opened his eyes lightly, Atton gasped and widened his eyes, and Bao-Dur was stunned. Ryan saw the handmaiden, and she was much different than the other handmaidens. She had a perfect body, in Ryan’s opinion. And he thought that se was the most beautiful woman in the galaxy, she had the most beautiful face he ever saw. And while she walked toward the cargo hold, they followed her with their looks.

 

They looked at each other.

 

Atton breathed deeply. Ryan then warned them:

 

-Now, let's show respect towards her. I'm pretty sure that she is the last of the handmaidens, they didn't respect her there. - Atton laughed a bit, and Ryan looked at him sharply. -This concerns you also Atton.-

 

Atton snuffed and said:

 

-Well, at least we have someone to go shopping. - He then continued:

-Besides, she is good looking.-

 

Ryan then said to him:

 

-You are such a jerk sometimes.-

-And you are such an a**hole.-

 

Ryan smiled.

-Well, that makes the two of us then.-

 

Atton smiled back.

-Right on.-

 

They high-fived and Ryan left for the med bay to see what he can make there. Atton turned to Bao-Dur:

 

-Lets hit some juma.-

-Sure, to relax our thoughts, it's been a rough day.-

 

And they went to enjoy themselves.

 

To be continued...

 

 

***************************************

Just so you know he was meant to be like this so don't hurt me if I disappointed you.

[Hallucination]

Wow. You have quite an imagination. I gave up 'cuz it was so damn long, but keep that writing style. I'll give you story a 10 outta 10 and three thrumbs up.

[starmark2k]

T3 immediately played the rest of the records. But then instead of the trial, it showed something else. It showed a handmaiden taking a shower. Ryan was shocked, he covered his eyes. Atton on the other hand paid a lot of attention to the holo vid. He smiled and said:

 

-HO HO HO! Looks like that I'll have some entertainment in the cockpit from now on.-

-And I something during my breaks. - added Bao-Dur.

 

I don't remember this bit in the game... maybe i should play it one more time.

 

I like your style of writing it adds more personality to the characters and it can be related to the youth of today

[RC-1162]

yeah, it is good, so why isnt there any more?

[Vladimir-Vlada]

^^^^

 

Sorry for the long delay. These stories are meant to be very, very, very, very, very long. Right now I'm making the continuation, so I'll try to finish it today...

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Just a few more minutes and it's up...

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Phew! Sorry about the long delay people, I really wanted to finish this and post it in the long version. But I thought that maybe this is better, so here's the cut from the new chapter, most of the chapter is complete so don't be so mad.

 

****************************************************************

HOW IT ALL BEGAN

 

Ryan sat in his chair looking through the windows of the security cameras, mostly focusing his view on what were Atton, Bao-Dur and Kreia doing. He sighed from boredom, then he looked at the table which was covered in papers and he took the one containing information on Dantooine. They were bound to Dantooine in search of the Jedi Masters to restore the Jedi Order and find out how to deal with the Sith… He lay in his chair and took looked at the first page of the brochure about Dantooine which they, strangely, found on Telos in the tourist agency about Telos. “Unorganized credit leeches” as Bao-Dur called the government because he doesn’t stand disorganization. So Ryan started to look through the papers to know what to expect on that planet.

 

Ryan looked through the paper on which was nothing more than climate information, temperature, interesting things to see. Ryan snuffed and said:

“Great! Like I don’t know enough about Dantooine’s terrain already.”

 

He threw the papers on the table and looked around the security room, when T3 entered repaired something and left again. Ryan then thought of visiting their new crew member:

The Handmaiden. He looked through the papers again and then found some pictures of naked handmaidens. He spoke out several tsks and said to himself:

“Atton we’re going to have a serious talk about this one day… If not then a fight, in which I will kill you.”

He burnt the pictures and threw them into the metal basket.

He got up from his chair and ventured through the Ebon Hawk and stood at the door of the cargo hold. The handmaiden was practicing fighting, as Ryan thought she was.

“Hello.”

 

The handmaiden stopped her training and turned to Ryan.

 

“Yes?”

“Are you comfortable here?”

“Yes, it indeed I am, thank you.”

 

Ryan entered and put his hands behind his back.

“I… wish to apologize for Atton’s behavior, he doesn’t like guests much.”

“There is no need to apologize, that is his worry, with which I will deal later.”

 

The Handmaiden took of her hood and shook her head to release her beautiful, long white hair. Ryan widened his eyes from surprise but then suddenly a voice yelled in his head:

“YOU! What do you think you’re doing!?”

The voice spoke very quickly and Ryan thought to himself: “Pardon me?” “Don’t you start that pardoning me you whacked crap head! DON’T SHOW YOU’RE WEAKNESS!!!”

 

Ryan cleared his throat; the handmaiden looked at him and said:

”Would you like to talk?”

“Yes, I would actually…”

 

He breathed deeply and began:

“So… Did Atris ever mention me?”

“She said that you went to war to feed your hunger and lust for battle and to fall to the dark side.”

Ryan looked reluctantly. She rose and eyebrow.

“What? Am I supposed to be surprised for hearing this? If so, then:” He imitated shock and said non-chillingly: “Oh?”

“That’s not all she said…“

 

He rolled his eyes.

“You don’t say…”

“Could you please let me continue?”

“Sure.”

“She said that you had fallen to the dark side, defying the Council to follow your animal instincts…”

“So why didn’t I continue fighting with Revan?”

 

She blinked and thought for a moment.

“I… don’t know.”

“Exactly.” said Ryan with a smile.

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, anything…” he said kindly.

“How did you meet Atton? “

 

He stopped and felt a bit uncomfortable and started speaking like that he was embarrassed.

 

“Well…”

 

****************************************************************

I should also inform you that I will post the continuation later (it won't be long, a day or two).

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Hm. No comments? Well, I'll just post another part.

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Here it is.

 

****************************************************************

The quiet halls of Peragus II station were quiet as a grave. In a Colto Tank Ryan Pano floated, unconscious, unable to move. The Colto Tank suddenly released him, falling to the ground. He woke up in his underwear and looked around and muffled:

“Wow! What a lousy medical system, I healed myself.”

 

He then saw the other patients, still floating in the Colto Tanks. The sight sent shivers through Ryan’s body.

 

“Ugh! I can only imagine how they are feeling…”

 

He continued through the corridors and came to a med-bay. The med-bay was empty; He examined the computer and found that he was injected with a lethal fluid. He groaned and said:

“This only happens to me.”

 

He then saw that the other miners were also killed. He looked sadly towards them and bowed down in honor, remembering the victims of Malachor V. He then entered the Morgue, which was full. “Bad Doctors” he thought and saw the body of an old woman and meant to look around and find something to burn the bodies. He found a plasma torch and the woman woke up.

 

“Find what you are looking for amongst the dead?”

“Oh, you’re alive, good thing I didn’t… Um, never mind.”

“Perhaps you should search the rest.”

 

Ryan frowned and complained:

“I don’t strip search dead bodies for items.”

“What about that?” She pointed towards the plasma torch in his hand.

He examined the item in his hand.

“Well, ummm… That’s none of your business.”

“I am Kreia and I believe that you are a Jedi.”

“No, I’m not. Anyway, let’s find a way off this station.”

“I will stay here and meditate to help you…”

 

Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, rest assured while I die, don’t worry. You just walk into the ship while I kill myself from trying to get you onboard.”

“I will.”

 

Ryan then walked out of the morgue and stepped on something that made a hissing noise. He looked down, picked up the piece of paper, smiled and put it in his pocket.

 

Ryan continued through the hallways and stopped at a door, when Kreia showed up in his head:

“Strange this door was open in my visions…”

“Huh?”

There was no response…

 

Ryan raced through the giant corridor destroying any droids which attacked him along the way. Of course he was moving fast because he was in his underwear, and he felt uncomfortable about it. He then entered a large area which was called: “Peragus Administration Level”. He looked toward the large window, on which was clearly shown the Peragus II Asteroid field. He then destroyed another droid and approached a door.

 

Then Kreia contacted him:

“Listen to me, do you feel it?”

“Ah, there you are! Can you do me a favor?”

 

Ryan pulled out of his pocket a piece of paper, with numbers on it and a pen.

Kreia was confused.

 

“Pardon me?”

“You have clairvoyance right? “

Kreia still not understanding the situation replied:

 

“Yes.”

“Well, can you use your clairvoyance to predict which numbers will be pulled out on the lottery of the Galactic Bank Inc.? If all seven numbers are correctly pulled out, the reward is: 20 billion credits!”

 

Kreia said:

“Are you sure that you want to do this, because there is one problem…”

“What?”

 

Kreia smiled:

“To make my clairvoyance active, you would have to do something… a bit intimate and forbidden.”

 

Ryan made a puzzled grimace.

“What am I supposed to do?”

 

After several seconds of thinking, Ryan widened his eyes in shock and turned all white as a ghost.

“Um…” said with a disturbed voice “Never mind forget I said anything!”

“Suit yourself…”

 

Ryan quickly marked the numbers: 4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 23 and 38; while doing this he was muffling something: “I’ll never play lottery again!” He then quickly put the paper back in his pocket along with the pen. He then turned his attention to Kreia, now calmed down.

 

“Now, what were you saying?”

“Do you feel the person behind the door?”

“If the person is female, then I do.”

“Stretch out, and feel the person.”

 

Ryan smiled and then the smile disappeared.

“Do you feel it?”

“It’s a guy… No, I don’t.”

“Oh, don’t be such a brat, just go in there and release him.”

 

Ryan thought a bit and said:

“I am NOT going in there in… THIS!” He pointed towards his underwear.

“We need that individual to get off, you can trust him.”

 

Ryan looked up and down him and then paid attention to Kreia again.

“All right… But you owe me…”

 

She smiled and added:

“I’ll repay you in the way I’m supposed to.”

“On second thought, forget it.”

“As you wish.”

 

She signed off.

****************************************************************

OK, I won't post until I get some comments. Good or Bad, all are welcome.

[Jeremia Skywalk]

Wow this is good, i am not everywhere near, making kotor story funny, but keeping the real feeling.. It is realy good, i like it.

[Vladimir-Vlada]

Really? I thought that it was junk after I read it. Although I had enormous plans for this, but I gave up because I didn't have faith in my sense of humour.

 

Although I am seriously considering of continuing this. And this will be edited pretty much if I do continue it.

[Lantzen]

Sorry to bumb this thread, but if you read this Vladmir, i hope you continue the story, it's really funny.

[machievelli]

read

[Darth_Yuthura]

Very nice deviation from the standard 'perfect Jedi' kind of thing. Although I didn't care that much for the 'macho macho' Exile approach, I did like how he wasn't being mean, but took satisfaction in humiliating Atris. The humor was an interesting aspect.