The Doctor Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 I'm writing my own fan-fic. It'll based on the fall of Revan and Malak during the Mandalorian Wars. I haven't written much, but I think it's pretty good. Does anybody have any ideas I could incorporate into it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Skywalker Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 try and keep most of the characters from kotor 1 and them some add ons then it would be easier for you and more enjoyable fo us!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuu Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 you stole my idea! bwaaaaaaaaaaa...... Edit: for those of you who cant tell that was a joke. Hope its a good one! Fuu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 yep. and dont forget to add the Exile. he desterted revan during the mandalorian wars. how and why he deserted them would be a good idea to add. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuu Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I'm sure it will be neat, hope your writing goes smoothly. F Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 I was going to include the Dantooine and Coruscant Jedi Councils, Revan and Malak (obviouosly), Bastila as one of Revan's not-so-close friends, Carth as a Republic Lieutenant, Canderous as a soldier who almost kills Carth (they don't recognize each other later because of helms, or whatever - I'll explain in the story) but gets attackedhimself by someone trying to save Carth (probably a junior officer who thinks of Carth as a father and dies saving him). I wasn't planning on using the Exile, maybe mentioning him/her (haven't decided which I'll use yet) in passing. I plan on doing part one in the Mandalorian wars; Part two (very short) during the search for Revan and his fleet; and Part three during the war with Revan. It will end with Revan's capture, maybe on the Endar Spire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 not on the endar spire! thats where kotor begins. revans capture is on his flagship before kotor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 It would end before the attack on the Endar Spire, don't worry. Besides, I'm probably going to do a novelization of KotOR at some point, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Angel Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Oundssay Oolcay! (Sounds Cool!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 not on the endar spire! thats where kotor begins. revans capture is on his flagship before kotor. I realize that Revan was captured on his flagship (which I will give a name), but I want to connect the story with KotOR as musch as possible. This means that I'll probably end it just before the attack on the Endar Spire by the Sith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raynoc Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Now for the kicker... Is Revan going to be a Man or woman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 Man. I'm going with the canon style, so Revan will be male. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 Here is a section ripped out of the story. It's set on the planet Ruusann: With a screech of it's engines, the Basilisk war droid did a wide U-turn, letting loose a hail of blaster fire. Lieutenant Commander Carth Onasi raised his blaster rifle and opened fire, but his shots simply bounced harmlessley of the ship's armour plating. He dived to the left as the Basilisk opened fire again, the ground scorched where he had been standing seconds eariler. The droid now out of range, Carth turned his attention to the soldiers advancing on the ground only 30 meters away. Taking cover behind a large piece of a downed Republic fighter, he replaced his gun's power pack with the skill and speed of an elite commando and turned around to fire a volley of shots at the approaching Mandalorians. The one in front fell to the ground unceremoniously, his face plate shattered from the attack. The others stepped over the body of their fallen commrade as if he were a dead Gizka. Carth heard the sounds of turret fire behind him, and turned in time to see the Basilisk droid explode in a ball of fire. The Mandalorian soldiers underneath it ran for cover, but most of them had their armour torn to pieces by the burning shrapnel -- The attack hit him with the force of a rampaging Krayt Dragon. He fell to the ground, stunned by the blow to his head. He rolled over just in time to stare down the barrel of a Mandalorian Assault Rifle... No, this is not the end of the section, but it's all I'm going to post now. I'll post sections from later chapters as I write them. Hope to hear some useable feedback:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 28, 2005 Author Share Posted October 28, 2005 Here's another section from part one of the story: Bastila couldn't sleep. She rolled over onto her side, trying to get comfortable, but sleep simply wouldn't come. She rose from her bed, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, and walked towards the window. The tranquil, moonlit plains stretched out before her. She loved the view from her room, especially at night. She turned her back on the window, and headed for the door, with the intention of going to the kitchens for somthing to help her sleep - maybe a nice mug of warm milk. Trying to stay as quiet as she could, she slipped out the door and slowly pulled it shut behind her. She began to walk down the hallway, lost in thought. After about a minute of walking, she turned a corner and ran straight into Revan. "Bastila? What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously. "You should be in bed." "I could say the same to you, Revan," she said, with a touch of annoyance. She had never particularly liked Revan, but as one of the few who didn't. She disliked him now more than ever: how dare he reprimand her for being out of bed at night when he was as well? Brushing past him, she continued to the kitchens, trying to calm herself. She had been slightly afraid of Revan ever since the heated argument she had witnessed between him and Master Vrook, in which both men had yelled considerably. She wasn't sure what the argument was about, but from what she had heard, Revan had told Vrook of his disagreement with the Council's desicion to remain out of the war. She had never seen anybody act as violently as Revan had at that point. Revan hurried to walk beside her. "What's up with you? You seem angry with me," he said. She noted how he automatically assumed the problem was hers. "I'm not angry at you, Revan, I'm scared of you," she answered nervoudly, afraid to meet his eyes. "I saw the argument you had with Master Vrook." Revan rolled his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry I got angry, but the council can't continue to ignore the Republic's calls for help." "It is there desicion, Revan. Who are you to disagree with it? You're just a padawan. You don't have the right to..." "I have the right to do whatever I please!" Revan spat at her. "What right does the council have to tell us what to do? What right do they have to sentence millions of innocent people to death when they can do something about it?" His voice was getting steadily louder, and he looked taller, somehow, in his oncoming rage. "What right-" he grabbed her by the arm in a pincer-like grip, and pulled her towards him so her face was inches from his "-do they have to control us? We could end this war!" She tried to release her arm from his grip, but he tightened his hold on her, sending stabs of pain shooting up her arm. "You dare tell me that I have no right to disagree with them?" he said, his voice cold and harsh. "Revan, you're hurting me!" she said, all attempts to control her fear abandoned. He stared at her for a second, then his features softned, and he lossened his grip on her. "I'm sorry, Bastila," he said quietly, looking both shocked and sad at the same time. "I don't know what I was doing. Please, forgive me." Without another word, Bastila pushed him out of the way and headed back to her room at a brisk walk. When she turned the corner and wasout of sight of Revan, she broke out into a full run, and didn't stop until she had closed and sealed the door behind her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladimir-Vlada Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 Nice work, EXCELLENTE! I love it when there are big chapters. Keep it up. P.S. Hopefully, my first chapter will be up today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 These are not full chapters. They are just certain sections taken out of each chapter. This will be written and released very simliarly to a novel, but I will provide a link to a site where the full story can be downloaded for free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 4, 2005 Author Share Posted November 4, 2005 A section of Part Three. It takes place a board Revan's flagship (now called the Scimitar). As the last of the Sith soldiers fell dead to the ground, Bastila gripped her lightsaber hard as Revan placed a particularly hard block against her attack. She pullled back out of reach, and fell into a defensive position. To her surprise, Revan did not press the attck - he lowered his lightsaber to his side, though he was still visibly prepared for an attack. Commander Trycken and his soldiers then opened fire on the Dark Lord himself. He reflected their shots back at them with the same ease with which he had blocked Bastila's attacks. All but one of the soldiers fell to the ground, their chests burned open with their own shots. The last soldier rushed forward, aware that he was as good as dead, and charged at the Dark Lord. Revan simply lifted a black-gloved hand, as if squeezing the juice out of a piece of fruit. The soldier gripped his neck, trying to pry off the pair of invisible hands that were choking the life out of his lungs. Just as he fell to the ground, joing his fellows in the beyod, the other Jedi rushed through the door, their lightsabers ready. Janel rushed to bastila's left, her purple lightsaber pointed at Revan's chest. "You cannot win, Revan," said Bastila. Revan lifted his lightsaber above his head in a combat stance, and prepared to defend himself. "So be it," whispered Janel, her voice heavy with sadness. The Jedi had begun to advance on Revan when Bastila saw it - weapons fired from Malak's ship; and they were heading right for the Scimitar. They cut through the deflector shields as if they weren't there. The consoles in the bridge exploded. All of them - Jedi and Sith alike - fell to the ground, Revan hitting his head on the relatively undamaged console behind him, half of his mask burned into his face. Bastila raised her head slowly. She lifted herself up onto her elbows, trying to shake out the fog that clouded her vision. She crawled towards Revan, and her stomach lept into her throat - he was badly wounded: she could sense the damage done to his mind - but their was something still there. She could fell it through The Force. A spark of life still existed in his body. She reached out her hand and placed it on his chest, focusing as much as she could on preserving that spark. She willed the Force through her hands and into Revan's body, guiding it towards the flicker of live still inside him. The Republic needed information about the Sith fleet, and through Revan was the only way they could get it. He could not die. She wouldn't allow that to happen. She heard movement behind her, and saw that her fellow Jedi were rousing as well. "He's still alive!" she said. "Help me get him back to the ship!" Janel and Lurek hurried forward, grabbed him under his arms, and hoisted him onto Tyrran's shoulders. The four of them then hurried for the docking bay, none of them knowing what Bastila had done - nor the future consequences of her actions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hallucination Posted November 5, 2005 Share Posted November 5, 2005 Sounds good, and heres an idea about who could save Carth: his commanding officer and mentor, Saul Karath. Keep it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 I was going to make it someone who dies saving his life (someone he thinks of as a son), but that's good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC-1162 Posted November 6, 2005 Share Posted November 6, 2005 great story, though by sections, do you mean 'chapters' sorry if i sound dumb. anyway, the concet and story is good, however, like FFWM12 once said, start a new para when a different person speaks, for example check out my fics, i have wriiten them in this format (links in sig) or even FFWM12's fic (link in sig again) same format. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 6, 2005 Author Share Posted November 6, 2005 No, these are not chapters. I have not edited very much, so excuse the lousy format. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Good work, but you should make these chapters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 7, 2005 Author Share Posted November 7, 2005 I'm not going to post entire chapters. It would take up to much space. The chapters I am writing take up almost 14 pages in Word Perfect on font size 11, so they are pretty long. I'll keep posting sections to keep people interested, then I'll post a link to my website where you can download the story in full, or chapter by chapter for those with slower connections. I'll probably also create a new website where you can read the story without having to download it. Probably using freewebs.com again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediKnight707 Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 Sounds good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 26, 2005 Author Share Posted November 26, 2005 Quick questions: Bastila was from the planet Talravin, correct? Revan was already "dead" when Telos was destroyed, right? Did Carth ever give his wifes name? I don't think he did, but I want to make sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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