Rain128 Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Jae Love the story, i have read it 3-4 times and it getts better every time just a side note to point out tho... during the fight with miraxton Jolee throws a Green saber when his is purple (from the training sequinces in chapter 1 or 2) and i think the word shutta is more like the female dog veriant when poo doo is more along the lines of crap... for IE Bantha poo doo insted of bantha shutta.... but thats just me =) love the story, eagrly looking forward to the next one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Needless to say. This is the best fic I have ever read. I can't wait for your next work Jae. And BTW you now have the 2nd most viewed Fic in Lucas Forums history. Not far behind the Plight of darkness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 Thanks Rain--once is great, 3 or 4 times is quite a compliment. Thanks for letting me know about the lightsaber color--I'll get that fixed. @RP--Thank you! Heh, I have, what, only 5000 to go to catch up with FFWM? I'm thinking of doing a sequel where the trio have to go investigate a Force disease, but I want to get the rest of the revisions on this one done before I send them out on another adventure. Unless the Muse grabs me by the ear and tells me I just have to start writing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Renegade does a little indian dance in the attempt of summoning the muse. Renegade: [Persuade] You will write the first chapter of your new story soon Jae. Jae: [Resist] Quit bothering me and looking at me with those crazy eyes Renegade, or else I will have to sic Jimbo on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 It took a few hours, but I just read your fan fic, Jae. A most excellent job on it! You make me regret more than ever how Jolee died. And a superb portrayal of his and Mik'oth's personalities! The dialogue with them made me laugh out loud a few times. You also had the lowest count of inaccuracies I've seen yet. I am definitely looking forward to future fics you will write! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain128 Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 ...how Jolee died... What when!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 What when!?! If Revan falls to the Dark Side and he has to kill both Jolee and Juhani. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vaelastraz Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 What a great fic! I read all of it today...quite a lot! One of the best fics I've ever read. Infact, there is only one that can compete with this! Hope you're already busy with a new fic! Are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain128 Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 If Revan falls to the Dark Side and he has to kill both Jolee and Juhani. Thats "if" and according to her story Reven didnt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Thats "if" and according to her story Reven didnt... You misunderstand me, you asked when Revan dies (Because ED regreted making Jolee die) and I told you that the only time Jolee dies is when Revan joins the Dark Side near the end of KOTOR and he has to kill both him and Juhani. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 What when!?! Regardless of Revan's actions, Jolee dies eventually. Whether it's from natural causes or a lightsaber through the chest is a different matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 Thanks, everyone! I have no doubt that even after dying, Jolee would be just as ornery. I have my little ideas for another story with the trio, but I have to sit down and outline a bit and figure out where I want to go with it, now that I'm beginning to have a vague clue about writing something as long as this. I still have the revisions of the chapters to do for KFM (I'm at ch. 16 there and working on 17), and my beta-reader is very good and makes me work hard to make them better--that involves almost as much time as writing the initial chapters, sometimes more. I hate leaving projects unfinished, even if it takes awhile to get them done, and I'm learning a ton revising those chapters, so I want to make sure to finish that. A couple of them would never forgive me if I left them hanging in the middle of the story. Mik'oth of course would have to make a return appearance. He's too fun not to have around. I don't know that I could stand to have His Smarminess join the trio and become a main character--he's better as an occasional contact. Otherwise, it'd be sort of like having mounds of icing on the cake instead of nice thin layer that doesn't overpower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 I don't mean to be annoying or anything, but I have an idea for a Sequel. It could be set with Jae and Talin having a baby and it is being targeted by a new Sith Lord. Jolee would be there, along with Mik'oth, like you said. Also, no offense, but I think the title needs to be better too. The Adventures of Jolee Bindo didn't really suit the story. I would also like the story set in 1st Person again. It's up to you though. Hope the Sequel goes well (If it is written that is). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 Pottsie, how could you possibly be annoying offering help? They could have a baby down the line, the Force signature would certainly attract something bad. I can even imagine a Bindo branch of the Order. I was thinking of sending them off to find out about a Force disease--perhaps a few Jedi succumbed, and they have to figure out what's doing it and why. I know the title doesn't fit the story anymore. When I started it, I meant to make it more Jolee focused, with him telling little stories as they went through similar experiences, and Jae and Talin would have almost a side role. Then I decided 'hmm, I should have them go on a quest.' Then the story took a big turn from my initial concept into something completely different, and I went along for the ride. I just didn't feel like changing the title. The next one will have a title that fits better, theoretically, since I'll have an outline of it beginning to end rather than doing an outline in the middle of the story after I've realized that the story has gone way farther than I ever imagined. And yes, Revan was LSM in my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 No problem and I'd like to thank you in a way. You've been a great help to me and I think you've been a big help to other Writers around here too. I hope your next Fic goes well for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Mik'oth of course would have to make a return appearance. He's too fun not to have around. I definitely agree. His lines about Jae becoming a dancer were amusing, but when his mentioning of having a good outft for her was coupled with how I sometimes pictured your avatar to look like Jae, it produced some truly disturbing images in my head. And yes, Revan was LSM in my story. It would be interesting were you to include him in your next one. Your story sounds like it took place before TSL, and I was wondering what he was off doing while a Sith Lord was attempting to kill off the Hutts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 23, 2006 Author Share Posted August 23, 2006 @ Pottsie--that's very kind of you to say that. I appreciate it much. @Emperor D--Yep, it's set a little while after the end of Kotor 1. Well, she certainly doesn't look like Yoda. The only similarity between me-Jae and story-Jae is the hair color. Otherwise, picture early 20's, strawberry blond/light auburn, can't remember eye color (probably blue or green), and pretty average human in every other way. I figured Revan was out doing whatever he was doing in the Unknown regions, so he was a little too busy to drop by in this story, at least. Edit: @Emperor D below--I forgot the smiley after the 'she certainly doesn't look like Yoda' initially. Didn't mean that to sound crabby. Edit 2: and yes, a Yoda type in a dancer's outfit would be truly disturbing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Well, she certainly doesn't look like Yoda. Of course, but if I think of the people here, I think of their avatars, and Jae in the story had the same name you're using... The other half of the time I pictured her to look like a fairly average human with black hair and blue eyes. I figured Revan was out doing whatever he was doing in the Unknown regions, so he was a little too busy to drop by in this story, at least. The First Jedi Purge was launched the same year Revan left for the Unknown Regions, so Jolee wouldn't have had enough time to train Jae and try training all those other Padawns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 I looked back and she does have blue eyes. Who knows? Maybe Jolee went into hiding with a few of them. He certainly knew Kashyyyk well enough to go back there and escape notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Who knows? Maybe Jolee went into hiding with a few of them. He certainly knew Kashyyyk well enough to go back there and escape notice. It's quite possible, although Jolee doesn't seem like the type to abandon the galaxy when it's so unstable and the Sith are wiping the Jedi out. But did he survive? No LS player can say. We'll find out in KotOR III. But whether he survived or not wasn't my point. I meant that it's impossible for this story to have taken place after Revan left for the Unknown Regions, hence my wondering of what he was doing doing when a Sith Lord was plotting mass genocide. Edit: @Emperor D below--I forgot the smiley after the 'she certainly doesn't look like Yoda' initially. Didn't mean that to sound crabby. Smileys don't have that big an effect on how your message sounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I thought this took place after KOTOR I? I didn't realize Revan was already gone. Guess I missed that part. Meh, the best story I have ever read. I really don't care about this little technical difficulty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 Thanks for the comments, RP and Emperor D (I just can't bring myself to call you ED anymore, you know.... ) But whether he survived or not wasn't my point. I meant that it's impossible for this story to have taken place after Revan left for the Unknown Regions, hence my wondering of what he was doing doing when a Sith Lord was plotting mass genocide. Yes, I set it shortly after the end of Kotor. Well, to be honest, I didn't know about the Jedi purge after Revan left--I thought there was a gap between when Revan left and when Nihilis started Force-eating everything under the sun. That'll have to be a timeline error for us then. I don't think Jolee would abandon the galaxy, but I don't think he'd be the suicidal Jedi and make himself a pointless sacrifice, either. If saving the Jedi or the galaxy meant hiding away and training in secret to protect what was left until they had a chance of surviving a fight, I think he'd do it. That and Miraxton was very good at covering his tracks. A lot of serial murderers pretend to be decent upstanding people. They get away with their crimes for years because they take great pains to make sure no one suspects them. The BTK killer was a Cub scout leader and was active in the community (obviously in more ways than one). When he finally confessed, people were stunned because they just couldn't imagine that the person they knew as decent was really a vicious sociopath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 (I just can't bring myself to call you ED anymore, you know.... ) Now, why would that be? Well, to be honest, I didn't know about the Jedi purge after Revan left--I thought there was a gap between when Revan left and when Nihilis started Force-eating everything under the sun. That'll have to be a timeline error for us then. There is a gap between when Revan left and the Sith started their purge, but it's in the same year. The gap between Revan killing Malak and leaving for the Unknown Regions is a full year, so that's the one your story (or stories) could best fit into. I don't think Jolee would abandon the galaxy, but I don't think he'd be the suicidal Jedi and make himself a pointless sacrifice, either. If saving the Jedi or the galaxy meant hiding away and training in secret to protect what was left until they had a chance of surviving a fight, I think he'd do it. None of the Jedi had any clue as to what was going on. I'm not sure if he would've been killed by the Sith or abandoned what he thought was a hopeless fight. Maybe he went to the Republic for protection like Bastila did? That's possible, but off-topic. But I'm more curious as to how you can find his clothes in random places ranging from the belly of a tuk'ata to a locker on the Ravager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renegade Puma Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 but I'm more curious as to how you can find his clothes in random places ranging from the belly of a tuk'ata to a locker on the Ravager. It's called a random item generator You silly boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted August 25, 2006 Author Share Posted August 25, 2006 Naw, I think he just liked leaving little mementos of himself everywhere. @Emperor D--I suppose I could set it in that year, and just declare that Revan was off fighting something else when my little band was uncovering the plot. I'd have to think about how to work Revan in a new story. Of course, all I have at the moment is an idea, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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