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100 Things I hae Learned form Psychonauts...


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29.Apperently, setting your opponent's pieces on fire is cheating.

30.EDIT:Cougers can get really annoying. Especially if they set fire to everything they see.

31.It is possible to sneeze your brain out.

32.If you see a hand in the water fckin run.

33.Giant mutant circus performer/butcher hybrids are quite easy to beat. with some help from giganto raz.

34.Screw godzilla. Behold GOGGALOR!!!!

35. The mind is a terrible thing to waste. Or throw rocks at. While it's in a tank.

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39.Even hideous, snaggle-toothed jerks with big hair can score with alien girls.

40.Don't ever take off someone's tinfoil hat.

41.Cheerleaders are not as innocent as they appear.

42.If you see some old, thin, balding guy with a big white mustash, it's probably Ford.

43.Somewhere out there, there is a giant hairless bear hiding from a prepubescent russian psychic.

44.Fat ginger people always pilot flying death machines. Always.

45.Never trust a dentist with cyborg parts.

46.Small, weedy guys with giant glasses will utterly PWN you if you give them half a chance.

47.Napoleon has direct-line decendants.

48.Turtles can talk. And they sound like Barry White.

49.Don't ever look into your parent's memories to find out what your deceased other parent was like. Just... don't.

50.No matter how crazy he sounds, the paranoid security guard knows what he's talking about when he gives you advice.

51.Apparently, said paranoid security guard passes as a Clairvoyance expert.

52.If one's child takes a liking to bunnies you bought to make meaty things from, for God's sake don't let him see you killing them.

53.Tiffany lamps are evil and must be destroyed.

54.Don't immediately assume that the squirrels are talking about you.

55.You can get someone to do anything just by threatening to cook their pet.

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59.Some people get an overwhelming urge to make out in times of crisis.

60.The Navy is best known for its planes.

61.The scientist with an underground lab is not necessarily evil.

62.Screaming "YOU ARE MY OWN CREATION! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!" never works.

63.Always follow the white rabbit.

64.The best parties always have a room full of scary monsters.

65.The forest is off limits! GIT!

66.The purest kind of love is between an old man and his canoe.

67.The burgers will never be ready. ever.

68.A band can in fact have two names at the same time.

69.If you get your ass handed to you by a half-blind crazy bloke, accept defeat gracefully. Especially if you're descended from any great conquerors.

70.Don't block off ALL the Censor outlets.

71.Goggles. They protect your eyes from being plucked out.

72.You can take the brain out of the germaphobe, but not the germaphobic tendancies.

73.The turtle's got the master plan.

74.A red sign passes for a road crew disguise.

75.The time to go to the spooky abandoned asylum is at night.

76.Even when brainless, a bully can still punch you on the arm.

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77. There's no such thing as a giant hairless bear, you silly boy. That's just a giant mutated lungfish.

78. Little wimps who get beaten up by bullies all the time come from mafia families.

79. Psychics aren't as knowledgeable as you might think; they can't sense that a giant mutant fish is kidnapping children whom they're in charge of in the near vicinity, nor can they even tell that said children are missing their brains.

80. If your brain is removed, you can still walk and talk; however, all you can say is "TV" and "hackey sack."

81. Contrary to popular belief, censors are not the people in charge of determining the suitability of TV programs for family audiences; rather, they are mindless drones who roam people's minds, stamp out foreign entities in said minds, and can say nothing but "No."

82. "Cougar" is spelled with an A, not an E. You hear me, zelda 41?

 

 

"This game wll blow your mind...out of your nose." - ad for Psychonauts

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83.Considering how easy it is to collect five arrowheads, plus the fact one can't get anything at the shop for that amount, Bobby's "protection service" rates are insanely cheap. it's like someone beating someone up for five pence.

84.If I had enough candy, I could live forever.

85.If you manage to stay awake, you might learn something interesting about the backstory of a certain someone from Vernon.

86.With one button, you can make a one-dimensional bully have a personality beyond "Jerk".

87.Psychic secret agents are incapable of noticing a megalomaniac that's right under their nose.

88.You can sneeze your brain right out of your nose.

89.Near-blind insane people are excellent guards... so long as noone makes a painting of your face.

90.Even the heroes sometimes like to rub their rival's defeat in their face.("WASN'T IT GREAT WHEN I BEAT YOU IN THAT LEVITATION RACE? :D")

91:Richard Horowitz voices people who have problems with water with alarming frequency.

92.Bears are overly dramatic when dying.

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95.Fire = Pretty

96.Water = Creepy

97.Bacon = Yummy

98.Mentioning hackey sack does not involve the playing of hackey sack

99.Necks do not need to be structurally stable to hold giant psycho-kinetically enabled heads

100.100 comes faster than it feels like.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Who can tell with Vernon, anyway? His stories are long but amusing. Listen to him in the tv room.

I've know many smart people that have lots of clutter. Or you'll have a neat office but a messy home-office.

 

I don't watch much tv, either. I agree with the whole brainless and doing nothing but watch tv ("teee-veee") all day thing. Somethings are educational and interesting, but a lot of it turns the telly into an idiot box.

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105. Nobody else knows about the underground transit system even though its entrances are marginally hidden in gigantic stumps barely off the path.

 

106. Conquering other people's insanity trumps conquering one's own fears (like not able to swim or scared to death of deep water).

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