[Fic] The Sera Tana Saga Short Fanfiction

[Diego Varen]

Forgotten Promises Part I has been completed. I'll edit Zor Krel next, making it longer, etc. Thanks for everyone's support.

[Diego Varen]

It has taken a while, but the second part of Forgotten Promises is finished. Enjoy.

 

Star Wars

Forgotten Promises Part II

 

Ten years have passed since the PADAWANS, MICAL and STEVEN SOLIDUS weren’t chosen to be trained as JEDI. Both Mical and Steven have gone their separate ways and haven’t seen each other at all. After saving DANTOOINE from being taking over by AZKUL and his mercenaries, Mical was reunited with his prospective master from years ago. SERA TANA.

 

On the EBON HAWK, ready to go to the SITH planet, KORRIBAN, Sera remembers old times. Times that Sera wishes she could change for herself and Mical…

 

*****

 

The Jedi Exile, Sera Tana and her companions, Atton Rand and Mical the Disciple, had saved Dantooine, from the mercenary attack on Khoonda. Administrator Terena Adare and the Jedi Master, Vrook Lamar were grateful for their help. Sera had been glad to help and now that Sera had found Master Vrook, she knew that Korriban was next.

 

Entering the Ebon Hawk, Sera, Atton and Mical returned to relax for a while. Atton walked off to relax in the cockpit, while Sera and Mical decided to relax in the medical bay. Sera thought about her relationship with Mical. She hadn’t seen him for ten years and he had changed. Sera no longer felt the anger within him that he had used to beat Steven in the duel they had ten years before. Mical had become much wiser and calmer. It made Sera embarrassed. She had wasted her life in exile, while Mical had got himself a life, after he was rejected for becoming a Jedi, soon after Sera was exiled. Sera knew that if she hadn’t had been exiled, Mical would’ve become a great Jedi. Soon after reuniting, Sera had offered Mical the chance to be trained as a Jedi and he accepted. Although Sera wondered if Mical hadn’t told her everything about his life, after leaving the Jedi Order. Who did he work for? Why was he still interested in Sera after all these years? Sera would have turned a blind eye. She was searching for the masters that had exiled her ten years ago. She didn’t have time to go recruiting old friends to aid her in her task. What had Kreia told her? To prepare for an army. Sera was beginning to think that Kreia was right. There was too many of them on the ship. Seven of them in fact. There was her, Kreia, Atton, the Utility Droid, T3-M4, the Iridonian, Bao-Dur, the Miraluka, Visas Marr and Mical.

 

“Who do you work for Mical?” Sera asked.

 

Mical looked up from the components he was working on.

 

“Didn’t I tell you?” Mical asked back, “I work for the Republic.”

 

“I know that,” Sera told him, “But who in particular?”

 

“I can’t tell you,” Mical told her, “I’m sorry.”

 

Sera knew that Mical wouldn’t tell her. At least not yet. Sera had wondered if Mical had forgiven her about the time when Sera rejected to take Mical as her first apprentice.

 

*****

 

“Stop, you must!” Xarg shouted, using the Force to take Mical’s Lightsaber from him, before looking at Steven, “Go to your quarters, you shall. You and the others.”

 

Everyone left, leaving Sera and Xarg alone. The training room, which was once filled with many students, eager to see the duel, was now empty and quiet. Xarg walked towards Sera, hanging over his walking stick.

 

“Choose a padawan, you must,” Xarg told Sera, “What I told you before, I did. Not so sure, anymore.”

 

Sera knelt down on her left knee, so she could look at Xarg easily, without looking down on him. Even on her one knee, she was still quite tall compared to the elderly master.

 

“I’m not sure either master,” Sera told him, “Both of them are young and impatient. I don’t know if I can handle anyone like that.”

 

“Same you were, when you were young,” Xarg told her, “Reckless, you were.”

 

“Was I?” Sera asked, “I was chosen. Master Corral always thought the best in me, even in my darkest times. I only wish I had saved him, instead of leaving him to die.”

 

Sera stood up again and turned to leave the training room. As Sera was about to leave, Xarg stopped her.

 

“Mical, Steven, have potential, they both do,” Xarg warned, “Think about their future, you must. If both of them aren’t trained, their futures will become very different. One will remain on the path of the light, while the other will fall to the dark side. Heed my warnings, Jedi Tana and whatever fate you may choose for yourself and for the two young men, you’ll become much wiser for it.”

 

As Xarg walked away, Sera stopped to think. She didn’t understand what Xarg meant, but Sera had always wondered if the old master had become eccentric. Either way, Sera knew that other than Vandar, Xarg was the wisest master in the Jedi Order.

 

*****

 

In the cockpit, Sera and Atton sat, waiting to arrive on Korriban, on the way to find the Jedi Master, Lonna Vash.

 

“Where’s that kid you picked up?” Atton asked, still piloting the ship, “I suggest we drop him off on the next asteroid we come to.”

 

“Don’t be so hard on him Atton,” Sera told him, “Mical is young and he is much wiser than when I first met him. He will be able to help us.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Atton asked sarcastically, “What with? For once, I agree with that manipulative old witch. He isn’t needed and he has no right with us.”

 

Sera ignored Atton, as she stood up and left the cockpit.

 

“Was it something I said?” Atton asked, as she left.

 

*****

 

Sera returned to the med bay. Perhaps Mical would finally tell her who he was working for. Sera had never remembered Mical as the secretive type. When she met him, he was never afraid to tell anyone anything. Then again, Sera knew that people changed and she was one of them. She could never trust anyone anymore. At least, not at first. Even after first meeting, Sera still never trusted Kreia or her intentions. Sera wondered if Kreia was trying to lure her to the dark side. Her teachings were nothing like the teachings, Sera had learnt when she was a Jedi.

 

“Mical,” Sera began, as she cleared her throat, “I’m sorry if I was prying into your life, but I can’t stand it when people don’t tell me anything. Someone must have sent you to do what you were doing on Dantooine.”

 

Mical ignored Sera, which surprised her indeed. No matter what, Sera knew that Mical had to talk sometime and she continued.

 

“I know how you felt when you were rejected for Jedi training,” Sera continued, “You felt the same pain I received when all those deaths on Malachor V echoed through me. You rejected the Force, the same way the Force left me. We are both similar in many ways Mical. I can trust you, even after all this time. I just hope that you can trust me now that…”

 

“Sera,” Mical interrupted, “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner. You might have heard of my boss.”

 

“Who?” Sera asked.

 

“Carth Onasi,” Mical told her, “He is the Admiral of the Republic and one of the only men I know who can keep the Republic safe.”

 

“When will I meet him?” Sera asked.

 

“All in due time…”

[Jason Skywalker]

Well, much better Tops. Atton's reaction to him is classical . I'll just wait for JM12 to critique you.

[JediMaster12]

Well it seems as if people think my opinions here are worth something. Well here I go.

 

*clears throat*

 

I have to say that I like how you broke the Mical and Exile relationship into two parts. I gives a Then and Now appeal. The first paragraph introduces the characters ok but given the reationship between Atton and Mical, I would suggest adding in comments about a stray look at each other. Maybe Aton sizing Mical up. The apparent jealousy of Atton but Sera chooses to ignore it...for now. Maybe it would be better if you used that to make her remember the competition that Mical and Steven had for her as a master. It will tie in much better.

 

Mical had become much wiser and calmer. It made Sera embarrassed.

I would combine these two together because the second one seems fragmented. Just add the word and. That makes it seem like she is thinking all these thoughts and also embarrassed at how much Mical changed.

 

Soon after reuniting, Sera had offered Mical the chance to be trained as a Jedi and he accepted. Although Sera wondered if Mical hadn’t told her everything about his life, after leaving the Jedi Order. Who did he work for? Why was he still interested in Sera after all these years? Sera would have turned a blind eye. She was searching for the masters that had exiled her ten years ago. She didn’t have time to go recruiting old friends to aid her in her task. What had Kreia told her? To prepare for an army. Sera was beginning to think that Kreia was right. There was too many of them on the ship. Seven of them in fact. There was her, Kreia, Atton, the Utility Droid, T3-M4, the Iridonian, Bao-Dur, the Miraluka, Visas Marr and Mical.

New paragraph with this and a a slight rewrite. Some of your thoughts don't connect properly. The questions that she asks herself should be put into italics since they are wordede more to reflect her thoughts rather than her asking them aloud.

 

Sera would have turned a blind eye. She was searching for the masters that had exiled her ten years ago.

This looked like it got put there and you didn't know what to do with it. A better way of putting it would be: She would have turned a blind eye to his reasons but she was searching for the masters that had exiled her ten years ago. She couldn't escape the nagging thought that he was connected to this. This sets up for the line of questions that she asks Mical about who he works for.

 

The memory part I think was well written. You still played on the doubts that Sera had about training a padawan and it carried quite well. I especially like the last part where you have the master telling her that one will fall and the other will remain true to the light, both with different futures. It was easy to see that the lightsider was Mical seeing that he was the scientist and historian trying to save the Republic.

 

When Atton and Sera were talking in the cocpit, you have a good part of the mood set but not overly convincing at least where Atton is concerned. A good idea is to listen to the comments he has about Kreia, such as when you escape from Peragus. The sarcastic drawl and the offhand comments trying to make small talk are a part of Atton. At least he is not like Canderous.

Sera ignored Atton, as she stood up and left the cockpit.

 

“Was it something I said?” Atton asked, as she left.

I would have had Sera give a look at Atton. Probably an annoyed look or maybe a look of anger. Just getting up and abruptly leaving doesn't quite fit without the reason why. The last line I think should be: What? What'd I say? and maybe have Atton's gaze follow Sera out of the cockpit.

 

The last paragraph was a nice touch in that Mical opened up slightly to Sera. I like how you go back to her thoughts at how people change because She realizes that she did make an impact on his life. I like how you lead up to the fact that Mical admits that the Republic is watching Sera and one admiral in particular.

 

Overall this was a good shorty and I enjoyed it. There are some technical issues that need resolving but they are not too serious in that they butcher the piece. So it looks like you are being spared from the flying manuscript. Good job.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks for the *long* critic JM12 and we all appreciate your comments. I will improve the Chapter as soon as I can. Just two more Shorties left and I shall post them together.

[JediMaster12]

If you are trying to say something, then say it Topsite. Am I long winded or am I just finding more things to bash?

 

I like to be thorough in my readings and I bet if I read through it again, I could find more stuff. Like I said, writing is a WIP thing. Even when you think that you are done, there is always something to do that you can change. Just be glad the flying manuscript isn't after you since you took my advice about taking your time

 

Now I can just shoot the rubber band at you.

[Diego Varen]

Okay I lied, but this is the last Fic to be written in third person. The final Fic will be written in Sera's point of view and it will link the ending of TSL to Leaving for the Unknown Regions. Enjoy and before you ask, this Shortie will end like this, since I'd like to leave it on an unanswered cliffhanger.

 

Star Wars

Duel of the Fates

 

The battle on TRAMOND XXV is finally over. Many lives have been ended in the battle, with only several survivors. All three factions have been reduced to fewer than one hundred fighters in each faction.

 

On the way to MALACHOR V, SERA TANA realises that REVAN will be on the planet and she knows that she will have to fight him. Once friends, now enemies, the two of them will fight, during the midst of the biggest battle in the MANDALORIAN WARS.

 

*****

 

Revan stood, alone on the top of the mountainous climate of Malachor V. He now wore a mask to hide his corruption to the dark side and his new black robe, identified him as a servant and disciple of the dark side. His best friend, Malak was with the Republic soldiers and Jedi who had fallen to the dark side with him. Now, the Forces of Corruption, as Revan liked to call his new army, were preparing to fight off the last of the Mandalorians and their former allies, the ones who managed to remain loyal to the Republic and the Jedi Order. As Revan stood, he thought about the one he loved. Sera Tana. He knew that she would soon find him and he would have to kill her, if she wouldn’t join him, on the path of darkness.

 

*****

 

Sera woke up and could see the surface of Malachor V below. A precognition in the Force had warned Sera that Revan was on Malachor, the one place where the Mandalorian Wars would finally end. All those battles, all those arguments with the Jedi Council, had finally come to this. She knew that she had to fight him.

 

Before leaving for Malachor, Sera had promised Quallan that she would stop Revan from taking other people down the path he had taken. Sera regretted killing Quallan, but she had to stop him from making his life or anyone else’s worse. Quallan was once one of the greatest Jedi Sera had ever known, but when she fought against him on Tramond XXV, he had changed. He was no longer the courageous Jedi Sera had known, but he had become a pawn of the dark side. Revan had ruined his life.

 

Sera walked across the ship, past the Republic soldiers and Jedi Knights who had managed to survive the last lot of battles. The Zabrak technician, Bao-Dur sat on the edge of the vessel, looking out at all the Mandalorians who were already waiting for their enemies on the surface.

 

“Bao-Dur,” Sera began, immediately capturing the young Zabrak’s attention.

 

“Yes General?” Bao-Dur asked.

 

“We’re on Malachor,” Sera told him, “What a waste to fight on such a beautiful planet, teeming with life.”

 

Sera looked out at the innocent planet. The froglike creatures, which were known as Gizka, hopped around, unaware of the battle that would soon take place. The Mandalorians had already built their base on the planet and were using their weapons to bring many Republic ships crashing to the ground. Many of those ships were ones Bao-Dur had built, specifically for the use of a new military weapon that would end this war, the Mass Shadow Generator.

 

“Will the Mass Shadow Generator still work?” Sera asked Bao-Dur.

 

“Of course General,” Bao-Dur told her, “But it will come with a terrible price.”

 

*****

 

Malak walked towards Revan. He could sense Revan was in deep thought. Was it to do with the war? Malak guessed so. Even though Revan had always been so sure of himself, he had always been quiet and secretive about the war. Malak was Revan’s closest friend, yet he wouldn’t tell him anything anymore. Malak was becoming worried.

 

“Revan!” Malak called out, “Revan, are you alright?”

 

Revan didn’t reply. Something was definitely troubling him, but what? Malak continued to walk towards Revan, hoping that he knew how much Malak was concerned for him.

 

“Revan, what is troubling you, please let me know,” Malak continued, walking closer and closer towards his friend, before placing his hand on Revan’s shoulder, “I want to help.”

 

Revan immediately turned around and knocked Malak to the floor. Malak wasn’t sure if it was an accident or if it was on purpose, but Revan was angry. Malak could see the anger in his face. Revan ignited his Lightsaber and held it at Malak’s jaw. Malak was afraid of what Revan would do next, but he used the Force to hide his fear. He didn’t even have the strength to get his own Lightsaber out and strike back.

 

“Revan!” Malak shouted, “What are you doing?”

 

Revan kicked Malak, down the steep mountain and Revan slid down with him.

 

“Please let me help you,” Malak continued, “I’m your friend!”

 

Revan grabbed Malak and despite the fact that Malak was slightly taller than his companion, Revan had managed to pick him up without ease.

 

“You don’t tell me what to do, my young apprentice,” Revan warned Malak, “Once you were my friend, but times are changing and so am I?”

 

“Revan, please don’t hurt me,” Malak told him, “What did I ever do to you?”

 

Revan threw Malak to the floor and kicked him again. Malak was bleeding from all the kicks Revan had given him. What would Revan do next?

 

“The old woman has made me who I am now,” Revan told him, bringing his Lightsaber onto Malak’s jaw.

 

Malak shouted in pain, unable to speak.

 

*****

 

Sera had landed on Malachor a while ago. She could sense everything that Revan was doing. She could sense him hurting Malak, she could sense him, in pain and depression and she could sense the dark side within him. Sera knew that she had to find Revan, before he caused any more damage. First Quallan, now Malak, who next?

 

“I’ve been waiting for you, Sera,” A familiar voice echoed from behind her.

 

Sera turned around. Revan stood behind her, emotionless.

 

“You can’t stop me,” Revan continued, “I have become more powerful than you and the masters.”

 

“Revan, turn away from this path,” Sera warned, “The dark side only leads to death and destruction.”

 

Revan began laughing.

 

“Jedi propaganda,” Revan told Sera, “Their code is flawed, just like the teachings they have learnt since the day they became Jedi. Sith on the other hand are strong and incapable of error. Join me Sera and together, we can take over the galaxy and use it to our advantage.”

 

“Revan, I’ve loved you all my life,” Sera told Revan, “But I’m afraid that I can’t let you hurt anyone else.”

[Jason Skywalker]

Is it just me, or does this resemble your First Friends, Now Enemies or whatever it was fic?

 

Anyways, yes, i liked it, pretty dark too, btw: "(...) the one he loved, Sera Tana" and not "(...) the one he loved. Sera Tana" would be better.

[Diego Varen]

Is it just me, or does this resemble your First Friends, Now Enemies or whatever it was fic?

 

Anyways, yes, i liked it, pretty dark too, btw: "(...) the one he loved, Sera Tana" and not "(...) the one he loved. Sera Tana" would be better.

 

Yes, in a way it was a rewrite of Once Friends, Now Enemies Short Fic, but it is different and as you say, it was much darker too.

 

Thanks for reading Jason and I'm wondering what JM12 will critique on this time, if she does decide to read this.

[Bee Hoon]

Erm, sloppy mountain? And I think it should be "I'm your friend." Can't really imagine Malak being that clueless. Try to vary your sentence structure, esp in the paragraph where you were describing the bit after Revan knocked Malak down.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks beehoon and I'll correct those mistakes soon. I was tired, writing this last night, so that is the reason for the mistakes.

[Diego Varen]

Since it is my Birthday tomorrow, I've decided to finally post the final Fic in the Sera Tana Saga Short Fan Fiction. It is short, but consider it an epilogue to the series and I have had Writer's Block for a short while. Enjoy.

 

Star Wars

The Wanderer

“Safe journey exile,” Admiral Carth Onasi muttered as I left his office.

 

I knew where I had to go now. It was the place I once fought on and the one place I had to destroy. The echoes in the Force had to be stopped and Malachor V was the planet causing it. The Telos Citadel Station was safer now, after Darth Nihilus’ attack on the station, but I wondered if Telos would be attacked again. Atris had given the information of the last of the Jedi’s whereabouts to the Sith. However, these Sith weren’t the same Sith who had been trained under Nihilus. No, these Sith were assassins that I had never fought before. None of them had wielded lightsabers before and none of them used the Force. They had been hunting me, stalking me like an over crazed Wookiee. They have been doing that since my adventure on the mining facility near Peragus.

 

As I entered the hangar, my closest companion, Atton Rand stood waiting for me. He had been there for me, since our first meeting with each other on Peragus. I wanted to ignore him and get Malachor over with, but I knew Atton would ask about what had happened with the admiral.

 

“Hey beautiful,” Atton began, as I entered the Ebon Hawk, “How was the meeting with the admiral?”

 

I looked at him, but didn’t give him an answer. Something told me that I wouldn’t see Atton or any of my friends ever again. I never liked the fact that they were all loyal to me, but all my companions hated each other, for reasons unknown. According to my master Kreia, I was a leader to them, but I wondered if this new leadership had brought a curse to my friends. Similar things happened in the Mandalorian Wars, but at least they wouldn’t suck up for my attention.

 

*****

 

Inside the Ebon Hawk, I walked past all my companions. None of them tried to speak to me, since they all knew that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Malachor wasn’t too far away, but I wondered what Malachor had become. When the Mass Shadow Generator was activated, I was horrified at the sight of Malachor defeating all life on the planet. I felt lucky to have survived that battle, but I had to live with the many deaths of my former Jedi brothers and sisters. It had pained me for years and I knew that this final battle would get rid of the scars of war.

[igyman]

Nicely done. A good way to connect the Exile's encounter with Carth and her departure for Malachor. I'm still waiting on the Quest for Dominance though.

[Bee Hoon]

Happy birthday!

 

Hm, feeling a bit ambivalent about your latest work. "They had been hunting me, stalking me like an over crazed Wookiee. They have been doing that since my adventure on the mining facility near Peragus." I suggest you merge those 2 sentences, or at least change the sentence structure in one of them, if only for some variety. "Malachor defeating all life on the planet"? I suppose you meant that it became barren thereafter, but word choice isn't too accurate in this case.

 

There's still room for improvement, but you're on the right track:)

[Jason Skywalker]

Yes, nicely done, just a few things to do better like beehoon pointed out, should be destroyed i guess.

[Diego Varen]

Thanks everyone. As I said before, I had been struggling to write that Shortie for a while and that was the best I could do. Thanks beehoon, I'll correct that sometime and igyman, The Quest for Dominance will take a while, since I've still got three Fics in the Saga and another Fic to complete before writing it. Thanks all.

[HK-42]

Good job on the "last" shortie Pottsie Topsite. I had to catchup on the shorties I missed and good job to them to.