[fic] Shrouded in Darkness: Yuthura Ban's Tale

[Rev7]

I agree. We can tell that Yuthura has changed, and I think that that conversation between Yuthura & Vrook really showed Vrook that she has changed, and is serious. Another great chapter!

[Darth_Yuthura]

Over the next two days, Master Zhar had me exercising my force abilities to their limits. He started by having me perform very general feats, such as the force jump and moved on to others that required extreme concentration. The healing trance was among the more difficult abilities he had me perform, but considering how little peace I had within me, I was fortunate to perform it at all.

 

I passed every test he subjected me to, but never mentioned how impressive some of my skills were. It almost seemed like he wanted me to fail his evaluation, but I had to remind myself that these exercises weren't to measure whether or not I mastered all the skills to become a jedi; it was only a test.

 

During one of our breaks, Zhar and I sat next to each other to talk about my performance. The subject soon changed and for the first time, he and I began speaking as people rather than a master to an apprentice.

 

“You instructed me for a time while I was on Dantoine. Could I ask what you thought of me during those years?”

 

“I don’t think you would like hearing it any more than I want to speak of my opinion.” He replied.

 

“I'd really like to know how I was like then. And It’s not like I’m going to react badly to the truth.”

 

He chuckled. “I've seen that temper of yours. So you'll understand if I decline to...”

 

“Please.” I said in a very gentle and sincere tone.

 

He stared at me for a moment and then nodded. “When you were first brought to Dantoine, you were actually a very suitable candidate for training... but the anger you harbored... that was different. How old were you when you were admitted?”

 

“I was told 15... well past the age of acceptance. I still don't know how I got in.”

 

He looked forward and collected his thoughts. “Would you be surprised to know that former slaves are among the most suitable candidates to become jedi?”

 

I looked at him. “That would surprise me, yes.”

 

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees to rest his head upon his wrists. “Think of it... the jedi emphasize that we live for others... not for ourselves. Slaves are, in many ways, taught the same way. Most children have to be trained to think and act to believe that. We don't have to train freed slaves as significantly because they've already been through that.”

 

I leaned over to hold my head on my wrists like Zhar. “I never thought of it that way.”

 

I always assumed that slaves were the hardest individuals to find peace. I never considered that Omeesh may actually have been training me to be a better jedi... how very demeaning.

 

“There was something else that weighed in your favor.” He sighed. “Your former owner... I was told that he was especially cruel to you.”

 

I started blinking back tears from the pain of my memories. It was odd that no matter how much I knew of the cruelties I’ve witnessed, it was still painful to speak of them. “Omeesh... he enjoyed... hurting his slaves. He took pleasure in breaking young slaves and making them know that they belonged to him... life and soul. I was one of his favorites, so I was spared many of the cruelties that claimed the lives of others.” I raised my head as if to fully grasp how many like me had perished to that single worm. “Dozens, maybe a hundred individuals have had their lives snuffed out by him. Sentient beings like me... murdered.”

 

Zhar tried to draw my attention away from the sadness I was embarking upon. “It is best not to relive such memories. You should keep your mind focused on the present.”

 

“The present comes from our past. If we forget where we were, we lose track of who we are.”

 

“I meant that you should try to avoid thinking of Sleheyron. You have known only torment and pain from that place and there is no sense in remembering such things unless you want that to be part of you forever.” He suggested.

 

I leaned back against the wall and crossed my arms loosely and with little confidence. “That’s the thing. I don’t want to forget the injustices that have been done to me because I know that they’re still happening everywhere. Omeesh is dead and I had a life far greater than anything before that.” I sighed. “He’s dead and all who have hurt me are dead, but there are still so many like him who must be opposed. My anger is for the injustices that people like me suffered. I have been saved... they have not.”

 

“That is very much how you spoke before you turned to the sith. Anger is a destructive emotion and often causes more harm to the self as to the ones who wronged you.”

 

I looked over at Zhar and touched the scared areas of my face as if to remember the way I had let the darkside take its toll on me physically. The scared, pale skin was only a minor thing, but it was a physical testament to the destructive nature of the Darkside. The real wounds I felt came from within my soul, but were a part of me and could not be felt as easily.

 

Then I realized that Zhar could have told me better how he saw the Darkside taint my soul in the time before I became a sith. “Master Zhar... what was I like in those years before I left the Jedi? Was I always like I am now, or was there a time when I showed great promise?”

 

“I would not be the best judge of that. I could say what I’ve observed, but can’t vouch for much more than what I’ve seen you do.”

 

“Please tell me.” I gave him my undivided attention.

 

He paused for a moment, but sat back and began. “Despite your anger, you seemed to have all the characteristics of a Jedi. When you were accepted, it was like we didn't need to push you... you were driving yourself.”

 

“What changed?”

 

“After only...” He faced me. “How long did you train on Dantoine?”

 

I turned my head to recount. “About three years.”

 

“I remembered a time when it seemed you found peace with yourself. For the first two years, you seemed very content where you were.”

 

I chuckled. “After eight years on Sleheyron, anywhere would have been a paradise. But Dantooine was different... It was almost like everything that my old life was not. I felt... like I was important... valued. Before that, I was regarded as nothing to Omeesh.”

 

He started to look at me grimly. “I remember that there came a point several months before you departed when... that peace began slipping away from you.”

 

That caught my attention. “What do you mean?”

 

“You began to act more hostile and were more objective to what we were trying to teach you. That anger, which I thought had been extinguished, began to resurface. At the time, I thought it was just a phase, but it continued to swell. Was there an event that changed all that?”

 

I thought for a moment. “I think I was content with the jedi because I was glad to be away from Sleheyron. After a time, I think I began to feel guilty for those I left behind. I was ashamed that I had so much and they were forgotten.”

 

“For almost a year, I watched as you became more and more discontent with the Order. Master Kolchak once said it pained him to watch you lose a little peace every day. He knew that you were trying, but something was holding you back. I advised him not to restrain you... that it was something you had to do yourself.” He dropped his head in guilt. “Maybe that was a mistake.”

 

I was almost consumed by sadness. I didn't remember much of my fall to the darkside. I thought that it happened after I became a sith, but it was actually a slow process that began almost a year before I had left.

 

“Maybe there was no way around it. My anger was what allowed me to kill Omeesh and escape Sleheyron. It may be that I can never be free of it.” I faced Zhar. “Is that why you denied me when I returned?”

 

“There was more to it than that, but it doesn't matter anymore. You have been accepted and I'll do the best I can to help you, but you must be willing to forgot much of what you’ve learned or you can’t learn peace.”

 

I nodded. Then I was hit by a question that I never considered before. Zhar was a male twi’lek with beliefs almost opposite of mine when he was accepted into the Order. “One last thing... at what age were you accepted by the Jedi?”

 

“I was twelve.”

 

“Did you think and act like any twi'lek male by that age?”

 

Zhar chuckled and smiled at me. “I think I know what you're about to ask. When I was accepted into the Order, I was assigned to a female master.” We both laughed out loud. “She didn't take too kindly to the disrespect I gave her, so she told me that females were the dominant sex within the enclave.”

 

After laughing harder, I asked how he took it.

 

He kept laughing as well. “It wasn’t just a simple lie, she went so far as to tell all the women within the enclave to treat me with the same respect I would have given them. For about two weeks, I was treated exactly as I would have to a twi'lek female. I eventually learned the truth, but she said that if I ever showed another female the disrespect I showed her, I would be put through that again.”

 

I kept laughing. “Did it work?”

 

“I went through that ordeal a few more times, but yes.”

 

We laughed one more time before Zhar started staring at me. It surprised me, but he was smiling... I rarely see him smile. “What?” I finally asked.

 

He kept staring, but looked almost in awe of me. “You've changed so much in the last four years. I don't know if I could say it or not, but your experience with the sith... I think you’ve grown much in that time.”

 

“I suppose I had to see where my anger could lead before I could learn to let it go.”

 

He shook his head. “It's more than that. I think I understand why Revan fought so hard for you. Your experience with the dark side could make you a very wise Jedi.”

 

I can't believe I've earned Zhar's support as well. I must have had a dumb smile on my face, but it felt so good to know that I'm making progress on my road to redemption. Just hearing his praise was like music to my ears. Maybe the Council was not biased, but just judged me before they saw who I had become.

 

-----

 

At the end of the second day, I got into a heated shouting match with Zhar... this time was about my Force talent. I may have improved since before, but I was still far from perfect. According to him, I still relied on my passion to fuel the Force. To him, peace was the only way to master my emotions and myself. At some point, he asked me demonstrate what I could do with sand and I smiled in anticipation.

 

Although it's been years since I've even seen a kath hound, I remembered how hard I worked to properly create one for Master Kolchak. I waved my arm toward the and pulled out about 100 kilograms of sand, which was molded it into a body. From that body came a head, legs, and then a complete sculpture was made. It almost came naturally to me; I was amazed how much easier it was than the last time I did it.

 

Zhar took a close look at the sculpture. “Very impressive. Your ability to hold all these particles in their place is remarkable.”

 

It was not my intention to animate the sculpture, but as Zhar complimented my talent, I wanted to show off what I could do. The sculpture slowly began to mimic a real kath hound as I started to manipulate the sand with greater concentration. It almost came naturally for me to maintain the shape while moving the limbs and head. All those sand grains had to be held very delicately, but the sheer number of particles was extreme.

 

I squatted towards the sculpture and extended my arm to pet it. It behaved as I willed it, rubbing its head against my hand. It almost looked and acted like it had a life of its own, but its every action was controlled by me. It was taxing, but I wanted to show what I was capable of.

 

Zhar looked in awe at the animated sand creature. “Astonishing. I have seen few who have mastered a skill such as this. Creating and holding a shape with the force is difficult enough, but animating it requires extreme delicacy.” He took his attention off the sculpture and looked at me almost with pity. “But you are still relying on your passion to control it.”

 

“What difference does it make?”

 

He looked at me as if I asked an obvious question. “It always makes the difference.”

 

I lost my concentration and the kath hound fell apart. When I looked sadly upon the pile of sand, I felt as if I were struck down. “I showed you what I was capable of. You said, yourself, that you were impressed at what I could do. I did exactly what was asked of me. Don't complain about how it was done.”

 

“You wish to become a Jedi. For that to happen, you must learn to restrain your emotions. I know that it is difficult, but you must realize how important it is to be free of passion. That was why you were so vulnerable to the darkside.”

 

A surge of anger erupted at hearing him speaking of something he didn't understand. I hissed at him. “Considering what I've turned away from, you are in no position to judge me!”

 

He replied very calmly, “I'm not judging you... I'm simply telling you what must be done. We are not obligated to help you... if you wish to be accepted back into the Order, you must follow our ways. If you are not willing to change yourself, then we can't force it upon you.”

 

I turned my back to Zhar and crossed my arms. I was exhausted and stressed. Manipulating the Force for great lengths of time was not my greatest attribute. I let my body language tell him that I've had enough.

 

He remained silent for a moment before excusing himself. “I'll end the session here. I won't be able to train you tomorrow, so I would advise you to meditate as much as you can until we meet again. And try to be more open-minded the next time.” Then he turned to walk out of the room. “If you want to build another lightsaber, the components on that workbench are at your disposal.”

 

I asked, “And the crystal?”

 

Zhar looked in deep thought for a brief moment. “It is your choice. You could continue training as a sentinel, or you could choose another path if you want.”

 

“That still doesn't answer my question. Where do I get a focusing crystal?”

 

“Speak with Master Vrook. He brought several from Dantoine.” Zhar exited the training room.

 

I was so enraged by his last words. 'Open minded?' I'd love to see him try to turn away from the darkside and say that again. He never had to face the same injustices that I have. He has never been treated like property... it poisons your soul with hate and fear. He could at least be a little more understanding.

After venting my anger on some of the equipment, I realized that I now had to confront Vrook if I wanted to get a focusing crystal.

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

This is a great advance in the story. Juhani and Yuthura interaction is quite good, you have captured Juhani's personality IMO. Yuthura going from ostracized to leader of a mission was unexpected but I like it. Also the whole tatoo thing at the begining was a good little tidbit.

 

Obviously Vrook spread the word that Yuthura dont take no crap through the council...or maybe they were nice cause they needed her...either way, its nice to see them respecting Yuthura for once. Keep up the excellent work - here you get a smiley afro guy and some well deserved

~HOP

[JediAthos]

I continue to be impressed by the way in which you've written this. As other authors will tell you, myself included, writing in the first person can be very difficult, and you seem to do it well.

 

I agree with the above statement about how you've captured Juhani's personality, and I thought that the conversation between Vrook and Yuthura was very well done.

[Rev7]

So, Yuthura is in charge now?

 

Another great chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next!

[Marius Fett]

This is looking awesome so far!

 

Can't wait for the next chapter.

[Darth_Yuthura]

Of all the Jedi I have met, Vrook Lamar was the only one who acted more like a Sith than I did. Men with a sense of pride beyond arrogant shouldn’t have been allowed in the Jedi Order. He most certainly didn’t belong on the High Council.

 

Master Vandar once told me that Vrook didn’t hate me... that he was just critical of all his students and I didn’t stand out. Although I respected Vandar’s wisdom, I knew he was wrong. Even before I left the Order, Vrook hated me and he went out of his way to display it. How could he have been allowed to think and act in such ways? The expectations for Council members should have been higher than those of average Jedi.

 

I still remembered the first time I was taken to Dantooine... even then he was against me. If it were up to him, I would have been rejected me before I even began. But while he was busy scolding me, the other masters actually took the time to understand why I was so full of anger and hate. My treatment at the hands of Omeesh didn’t seem to matter and from his perspective, I was on the path to the darkside ever since I escaped that place.

 

I had hoped that turning away from the sith would have been enough for him to simply leave me alone. Instead, he took some sick joy in condemning me whenever he could. In some ways, he was worse than a sith... because Vrook believed he was always right and all who opposed him were wrong.

 

When I got into the doorway, he gave me a very rude look. “What do you want?”

 

“I need a focusing crystal for a lightsaber.”

 

Vrook released a very agitated sigh. “A lightsaber is a Jedi tool that you are not deserving of...” he turned toward some plasteel boxes on his left side “...but I will give you a crystal. I suppose you are taking the path of the Jedi guardian this time?”

 

I have always been disappointed that I was not allowed to choose my path before. Vrook knew that I wanted to take the path of a warrior the last time I trained to become a Jedi. I did not know if I should have abandoned my training as a sentinel, though. Since I became a sith, I've come to understand the value of developing useful skills in piloting, engineering, and computer technology. The Force often coupled well with developed skills.

 

The path of the councilor was not an option for me. I didn’t have a talent for solving problems with words as Trevelyan or Master Vandar. And Vrook probably wouldn't allow for one such as me to be a representative of the Order. I truly did not want to confine my training to only one class... all I wanted was to become a Jedi. All I wanted was to find a way to let go of the hate that lead me to become what I always despised.

 

Vrook began searching through some boxes. He did not face me when he asked, “Maybe you want to stay with a red crystal?”

 

“Violet.”

 

Vrook exhaled in frustration. “Those are among the rarest crystals, but I might have one.” He resumed his search. “You never were one for our traditions. What path are you taking, anyway?”

 

“I haven’t chosen a path, Vrook.”

 

He abruptly stopped what he was doing and turned to face me. “You will address me as 'Master Vrook.'” He commanded.

 

I felt a sudden urge to make him swallow his pride. I knew that if he wouldn’t treat me with respect, I had to establish some leverage over him. I wanted to provoke him into getting angry so that I could make him realize that I had no concern about what he thought of me. “I will...”

 

He turned back to his search.

 

“...when you start acting like one.”

 

I saw the fury swell within him as he came towards me, but I did not flinch. When he was right in front, he yelled “How dare you! If you think you can hide in Revan’s shadow, you are wrong!”

 

I spoke very calmly, but remained stern. “I’m not hiding behind anything. I’m simply stating a fact: you do not act as master should, or at least you don’t when it comes to me.”

 

Vrook stopped shouting, but continued speaking with anger in his voice. “And what would you know about such things? You’ve never been one yourself.”

 

I gave Vrook a proud look and replied, “I was the second head of the Academy on Korriban. I know what it means both to instruct and to lead. Furthermore, I have studied under two great leaders to learn from their example. I properly addressed them as Master Kolchak and Master Uthar.”

 

“Learned by their example?” He chuckled as if to insult me. “Didn’t you turn your back on both of them as well? You betrayed everything Master Kolchak taught you when you turned to the Sith. You say you turned away from the Sith and then killed this... Uthar.” He chuckled and smirked at me. “You haven’t learned from them. You just followed what is in your own best interests.”

 

“Master Kolchak was a great man. He had taught me right from wrong if I had listened. As for Uthar... he was a great leader for the Sith. I hated him, but even enemies can respect one another. Had Uthar been in Malak’s place, I’m convinced the sith would rule the galaxy.” I crossed my arms. “If you think that being on the High Council earns you respect, you are wrong. I’m not acting out of defiance, though. We are both flawed individuals. The difference between us is that I recognize my deficiencies.” I gave Vrook a very mean glare. “I’m trying to purge myself of the darkside and you are making it more difficult than it already is.”

 

“Those were the consequence of becoming a Sith. I had warned you, yet you took the path of least resistance...”

 

“I know!” My anger erupted at hearing him continue to judge me even then. “I know what I did! Not for a moment did I relish becoming a Sith.” I paused to calm my rage. Vrook remained silent and allowed me enough peace to finish speaking. “I suffer the consequences of that decision... every day. I’m just trying to leave the past behind me once and for all. I can’t afford to fight you as well. If you must hate me, will you at least keep it to yourself?”

 

He looked insulted, but only because he wouldn’t admit such a thing. “I don’t hate you. I just...”

 

“You despise me! Almost every time you've ever spoken to or about me, it was demeaning. If there is one thing that you are biased against... it’s the Darkside.”

 

Vrook gave me a look that almost seemed compassionate; it surprised me. “You’re right. I shouldn’t say anything. It’s not like you’ve ever listened to me before.”

 

I was almost content to leave it at that, but I felt that I had to try and reason with him. As much as I hated him, I needed him to leave me alone and I felt the only way for that was to at least earn a degree of respect. “I’m willing to listen, but you have to be willing to understand me. Despite everything that has happened, I still think that my feelings for slavery is a virtue. As easily as it could lead to the darkside, emotion can drive us to improve ourselves.”

 

“Do you know why jedi are not suppose to form attachments to others? It is to prevent the fear of loss.”

 

“Loss and emotions are not the same thing.”

 

“Perhaps not, but whenever a Jedi has something of value, there is always a fear in losing what he... or she treasures. A Jedi has to be selfless, but even concern for others is not always a virtue. It can influence one's judgment. You of all people should know that. Was it not your drive to end slavery that lead you to the Sith?”

 

“It was also what lead me back to the Jedi.”

 

Vrook and I stared at each other for a long moment. I think that we both learned more about the other in the last few minutes than in three years on Dantooine. I didn't look at him with hate, but with a greater understanding that I represented everything against his beliefs. He may have come to realize that I simply had a different sense of right and wrong from him. Although we still harbored strong feelings against each other, I think that we had achieved a degree of understanding.

 

Vrook broke the silence. “I... have some work that I must complete. Perhaps we could continue this at later time?”

 

“Yes, of course.” Vrook turned towards his desk. I spoke up and properly addressed him “Master?” He turned around, recognizing that. “The crystal?”

 

“Of course.” He found the right container, removed a box, and searched through it. He then handed me a violet crystal. “What happened to your old lightsaber, anyway?”

 

“It’s either rusting somewhere on Dantooine, or Master Kolchak has it. I’m not really sure.”

 

After putting away the box, he approached me. “You still haven’t spoken to him... why?”

 

I waited for a long while before answering. I suppose I didn’t know that, myself. “I... hurt him when I chose to become a sith. I would prefer not to open old wounds... and I don’t want to discuss it further.” I bowed to him. “Thank-you for the crystal.”

 

Before I could leave, Vrook kept speaking. “Did you know that when you were first on Dantooine, that Master Kolchak’s recommendations were not in your favor?”

 

I lowered my head in sadness. “I am not surprised. He had every reason to assume I was a lost cause.”

 

“When you came before us a few days ago, we asked him to participate in your judgment personally.” He kept silent for a moment while I turned to face him. “Instead, he withdrew his prior recommendations that otherwise would have been used against you.”

 

I stared at Vrook for a long moment. “What do you think I should do?”

 

“It is your choice. I’ve spoken to him and he said that it was up to you to decide if you wish to be reacquainted or remain estranged. He will leave you to make the first move.” He moved to his desk and sat down. “If that’s all, I have work to tend to.”

 

I bowed. “Of course. Thanks for the crystal.”

[Rev7]

Wow! That was a great chapter. I think that you did a great job with it. I liked the flashbacks that Yuthura had about Omeesh. I find it sad the she used force wave on the innocent nurse. That might have undone all that she worked for...anyways, I think that that was an awesome chapter, and please to keep up the great work!!

[Darth_Yuthura]

Earlier I stated that I would release new chapters for at least a month. I should have let readers know that I wasn't expecting to release a new chapter every day. I am currently at the end of the 'finished' chapters and may have to start releasing new chapters less frequently. Although I have a significant amount already written, I would like to keep a reserve on hand for a steady stream of regular updates.

 

In regards to the last chapter: I want to get the point across that Yuthura still is very instinctive and has faced the fact that even in a moment of great triumph, she may be too psychologically damaged to ever be a true jedi. This will be fairly prominent over the next two or three chapters.

 

If I should release a lot of updates at once, don't assume that it's how fast I can write. I am open to suggestions for future chapters and I'd be glad to adapt a simple idea and make a story out of it. My thanks to all who reply to the story(It really lifts my spirit to see others out there who read what I post). I especially like those who are willing to criticize elements of the story. The only way to improve is to recognize where there is a flaw.

[Darth_Yuthura]

It had been nearly a month since my return to the Jedi. I’ve noticed my flesh has almost completely healed since I stopped using dark force energy. My skin has returned to the rich violet that it once was. The face was not quite how I remembered it from five years ago. It was not just the tattoos... I felt that I looked decades older.

 

Many of the Jedi told me that I should have my tattoos removed; that I should not bear the marks of beliefs I wished to forget. Master Vrook said that with them, I would always be perceived as a Sith to others; and be treated accordingly.

 

Trevelyan said they were more beautiful against my violet skin, which has become much richer. He likely thought that I would have looked less like myself without them. I suppose that I would look like any other twi’lek to him. I myself found it difficult to distinguish one human from another had it not been for their hairstyles. If Trevelyan were bald, I certainly would not recognize him so easily. It was only natural that different races were more difficult to recognize, so I wanted to be more distinguishable to my friends. Despite that reason, I knew he did not want me to bear the scars of my old life. It may have been a mistake to continue wearing them, but I wanted to remember. I hated the Sith, yet they were a part of who I had become. I may have one day decided to remove them, but for the present, they stayed.

 

Although still in training myself, I’ve been working with Master Nevski and his students. Since I was the only one with firsthand knowledge of Sith fighting techniques, I shared what I knew with his padewans. It felt good to be instructing again; it was like being a master again.

 

It also allowed me to bond with others. Nevski and I often talked about matters outside of the classroom. I learned that he had been a jedi all his life, so he didn’t understand how I struggled with the dark side. We shared a drink on occasion, swapped amusing jokes now and again, but weren’t much more than casual acquaintances.

 

I have come to learn about the bond that Trevelyan shared with Bastila. I felt very hurt that the kiss we shared on Korriban, which had meant so much to me, was nothing more than business to gain leverage over me. Even simple infatuation would have been enough, but to know that there was no chance to escalate our feelings further... it seemed to leave our friendship meaning less than before. And since I began training again, I’ve not actively sought him out, but allowed him to share my company when he chose.

 

Master Zhar had continued training me whenever he had time, but with his duties as a Council member, I’ve had to learn much of what I needed in my own time. At first, he was very strict and demanding, but as I progressed, the criticism slowly died down. Because I had turned against the Jedi, my original rank of padawan was not restored upon my return. It wasn’t until I earned their trust again that I could be called that.

 

When I first came here, I feared that I would have the most difficulty with losing the thoughts of strength, power, and victory. Although they were frequently on my mind, I found that it’s been more difficult to deal with the subtleties of interacting with others. Although I could turn to Trevelyan when I needed help, I knew that I couldn’t rely upon him because he was not my master. I’ve still not confronted Alfred, although we have gazed upon each other from time to time.

 

He had changed very little from the last time I remembered, but there was something about him that looked different from the man who had taken me for his own so long ago. I was still fearful of him because I knew I hurt him more greatly than I had myself four years ago. I didn’t want him to see what I had become... at least not until I had done something that could give him reason to want me back.

 

I’ve also interacted with Trevelyan’s friend, Juhani, on a fairly regular basis. Like me, she struggled with the darkside. Within her was an anger that I didn’t frequently see in other jedi, so I felt a little better knowing that there were others who have overcome the same kind of anger I have. Despite trying to learn more about her, she was as closed-mouthed as me. I suppose she still didn’t trust me, but I don’t hold it against her. I wouldn’t trust me either.

 

-----

 

Early one day, I was called before the High Council. Nevski was waiting outside the chamber when I arrived. “Yuthura? Are you also here to see them?”

 

“Yes. Any idea what this is about?”

 

He shook his head. “No, but I’ve been told to arrange for someone else to teach my courses for the next few days. I must be here for a mission briefing.”

 

I chuckled. “Maybe they want me to teach your students while you’re gone?”

 

He gave me a small smile. “Perhaps.”

 

About a minute later, Juhani arrived as well and I turned my attention to her. “I suppose you haven’t been told what this is about?”

 

She shrugged her shoulders. “I was just told that if I had any obligations, that I should take care of them before leaving.”

 

“Leaving?”

 

“Maybe they’re dispatching all of us on a mission.” Nevski inquired.

 

The thought of having some real responsibilities made me excited. Perhaps they were finally coming to trust me? Then I cleared my mind of the thought; this could have been anything. And then an uncomfortable thought came to my mind... if this were a mission, then it was going to be a dangerous one. You don’t send two guardians and a sith out unless they were meant to be in the line of fire. Maybe this was how they intended to...

 

I shook my head as if to disperse my thoughts. I could not let myself come to conclusions before anything was known. Whatever happened would happen in the fullness of time, so I needed to keep my thoughts on the present.

 

Shortly after that, a male human in a Sith uniform exited the council chamber. He noticed my tattoos and stared at me while walking by. I was suddenly filled with terror; not of the man, but what he might have represented to me. To the Sith, leaving was considered traitorous and traitors were treated worse than their common enemies. As of before he saw me, the Sith believed that I was killed alongside Master Uthar. Now that I’ve been seen, that Sith would likely have been to report a traitor spotted among the Jedi. It wouldn’t have been long before they learned of my presence. I couldn’t allow that.

 

Juhani and Nevski both saw my fear and after the sith went around a corner, Nevski asked “Did you know that man?”

 

“No... but he may have known me.” I pursued him.

 

“How would he... Yuthura, where are you going?” Juhani tried to ask, but I had already started walking away.

 

“Following him. I can’t allow him to leave.” I answered without looking back.

 

Juhani placed her hand in front of my shoulder to hold me back. “He wouldn’t be able to walk freely here unless he were a guest. Besides, we need to see the Council.” I gently brushed the hand away and kept walking. She came after me. “Do you intend to kill him?!” she quietly exclaimed.

 

“If I have to.”

 

“We should speak with the Council. There must be a good explanation for why he’s here.”

 

“I can’t let him go if he’s seen me.”

 

“Why? What is going on?” Juhani sounded almost desperate to know.

 

I swiftly turned to face her. “The Sith do not know that I‘m still alive... let alone here! I need to keep it that way.” I turned around again, but was held back by both shoulders.

 

“He was with the Council. You can’t just kill him!” She commanded.

 

I tried to maneuver myself free of her reach, but I ended up trapping myself further into her grip. “Let me go! If he reports me to the Sith, they’ll hunt me down!” I shouted desperately Juhani managed to lock her arms around me, restraining mine so I couldn’t resist. She was much stronger than she appeared and I couldn’t break free. I was phobic to confinement and instinctively struggled to free myself. I would have used the Force to break free, but the panic I was in made it difficult to throw her off. “The Sith will find me! I can’t let him go!”

 

She lifted me off my feet and desperately tried to calm my fears. “You don’t know that! What if he doesn’t? What if you’re wrong? Are you just going to kill him? Another of your victims?”

 

‘Another victim?’ Those words tore through my soul. I knew she was right... I couldn’t just play judge, jury, and executioner... I did not have the right. I didn’t even consider that he may also have turned away from the Sith. Then I thought of Trevelyan and what he did for me. If he acted like me, I would have been dead a dozen times over.

 

I surrendered to those words and stopped struggling. “No... I don’t.”

 

She slowly eased her grip and lowered me to the floor. I sat against a wall and buried my head in my hands. I was ashamed of what I intended to do... and how the thought of killing came so easily to me.

 

Shortly after that, Nevski came running down the hall with Masters Vash and Zhar behind him. He saw me on the floor and exclaimed “What happened here?!”

 

Juhani gestured them to be silent, which meant much to me. She whispered to them about what I was about to do... and that I restrained myself.

 

Master Vash moved beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “That man was Shar Gorlov. He wanted to defect from the Sith and has provided us with information in exchange for protection.” I raised my head to face her. “We weren’t expecting that he would wear that uniform here... or that you would run into him. We’re sorry.”

 

I shook my head. “No. I should have controlled myself better.” I leaned my head back against the wall. “I suppose I’ve never truly confronted my fear of being caught by the Sith. I almost murdered another because of it. If it wasn’t for Juhani...”

 

“It’s alright.” She replied.

 

“No, it’s not alright. It’s just so hard to restrain myself every moment of every day. I struggle with emotions that I cannot overcome. I once thought I had moved above fear, but I never realized how much I should fear myself... what I’m capable of.”

 

Zhar kneeled in front of me. “Fear is often a good thing. It’s one of the reasons why Revan thinks so highly of you and Juhani. Despite your fears, you both confront them more often than most people. That is something I’ve also come to respect.”

 

I stared at him in surprise. “I just confronted it and failed. How could you say that?”

 

Juhani answered for him. “Real courage is not the absence of fear... it’s confronting it. Sometimes, we overcome it. Sometimes we fail. But you didn’t surrender to it.”

 

I gave her a small smile. “Are you sure you’re not a councilor?” I chuckled.

 

She chuckled along with me. “I can just imagine my Cathar temper would probably do the trick. Diplomats would have to agree with me for whatever I tell them to do... if not, fear always works. Is that what you mean?” We all laughed at the joke.

 

Zhar spoke to Vash. “How should we proceed with this?”

 

“Let’s just ask her.” Vash faced the three of us. “We intended to give you an assignment... are you alright?”

 

I nodded and stood up. “Yes. I’m ready to do my duty.”

 

-----

 

When we entered the Council chamber, Vash said we had a minor disagreement and it just got too intense. The other masters knew it was about me.

 

Kavar stood in front of us and began the meeting. “We’ve received information from an informant that the Sith war effort has been getting desperate for very basic resources. Food, minerals, medical supplies, fuel... their stockpiles are becoming depleted. As a result of this, the Sith have started dealing with worlds for these resources in exchange for weapons, computer equipment, droids, and any other goods that we take for granted... but that more primitive cultures are willing to pay a premium to acquire.”

 

“So the Sith are now trading away their war materials for food. That sounds like good news.” Nevski said.

 

“Maybe for us, but for many of the worlds they are trading with, such advanced weapons and ships could wreck havoc to an otherwise stable system. One of these worlds is an important source of Endurium to the Republic, Kuril. This world has a bipolar balance of power between two separate states, Tupilov and Kitech. These two have maintained a relative peace with each other since the Kitech are negotiating to become members of the Republic. The Tupilov choose to remain independent, so they can and are choosing to trade a significant quantity of endurium for weaponry that would no doubt be used to eradicate the Kitech.”

 

“Okay... so what exactly is our part in all this?”

 

“The Sith and Tupilov have made a trade arrangement that cannot be done quickly. For the course of a week, the Sith have provided the weapons in advance so that while the Tupilov gather their stockpiles of endurium, they can be trained to use them. There are three bases where the Tupilov are keeping the weapons and the Sith would not allow them to distribute them until after they receive their entire payment of the endurium.”

 

Kavar grabbed three pads from a table and handed them to us. “In three days, the Sith will be sending cargo ships to receive their payment and then the deal will be done. Your mission will be to destroy those weapons so that the deal will fall through. We do not have much time, so you will have to brief yourselves en route. Each of you have skills that will be essential for this job, but you should be ready to deal with unexpected challenges. Do whatever you must to prepare yourselves, but you will need to depart within the next two hours.

 

“A ship is waiting for you in the main hanger. All the equipment you should need is aboard. I’m sorry we couldn’t provide you with more time to prepare, but it will take two days to reach Kuril and then you only a twenty four hour window or less to take out the three targets.” He paused for a moment and then faced me. “And... Yuthura Ban will be in command for the duration of your mission.”

 

I originally was looking at the pad Kavar handed me, but my head snapped up at what I just heard. “What?! Is this some kind of joke?”

 

Atris grimly stated “Sadly, no. Success depends upon you coordinating the efforts of the other two. And only you can perform the role.”

 

Kavar put his hands on my shoulders. “I know we’re asking a lot, but we need your abilities for this.”

 

I was almost in panic, but I hid my doubts as best I could as I looked at the other two. “If they will follow me, I will do it.”

 

Juhani looked very saddened, or very worried about my ability to command, but nodded. I think she did it only because the Council said I was in command. I didn’t deserve such loyalty, but I had her obedience.

 

Nevski really didn’t have much confidence in my ability to command either... and my latest episode didn’t inspire him with much confidence. As a true Jedi, he faced the Council and said “I trust in your wisdom and will do the best that I can.”

 

“Thank-you. Both of you. I won’t let you down.” I faced Master Kavar. “I will need you to tell me as much as possible. Why exactly have you chosen me for this?”

 

---------

 

 

We were en rout to Kuril aboard a Republic G class special operations fighter. It was about 15 meters long, 6 meters wide, and was about a third the size of the Ebon Hawk. It was made up of three compartments: in front was the flight deck with the cargo hold directly behind and crew quarters in the back. There was an engine nacelle on each side of the ship at the root of stubby airfoils.

 

For our mission, this ship has been stripped of all non-vital systems, such as the laser cannons and hull plating. We required one proton torpedo launcher with a magazine of eight torpedoes, shields, hyper drive, but nothing else. This ship had to sneak through enemy sensors and its energy signature had to be as light as possible.

 

I sat the crew down in the cargo compartment to brief them on the upcoming strike. I felt my command over them was extremely provisional, so I tried to be as delicate as possible with it.

“From what Master Kavar has told me, there are three strongholds that we must destroy within a given window of time. Each one is powered by a single fusion reactor and is heavily shielded from an air attack. To destroy all of them, I must infiltrate each base and retrieve the frequencies of the shields protecting them. This would allow us to destroy each reactor with a single proton torpedo.”

 

Nevski sat back in his chair, almost relaxed. “Sounds simple enough.”

 

I gave him a very serious stare. “There is more to it than that. The Sith stationed at the bases are likely keeping close watch on the other two... they haven’t yet made the trade, so the weapons are still Sith property. We must not be discovered until we have every shield frequency, otherwise the other bases will be on full alert and infiltration would be impossible. Once our attack begins, we must strike all three bases within a matter of minutes. Furthermore, we are meant to destroy Sith property, so we must ensure that when the weapon caches are destroyed, the Tupilov can’t claim the Republic dealt a crippling blow to them. If they complete the trade with the Sith, they could claim that the Republic attacked them... and not Sith weapons that happened to be on Kuril.”

 

“Wait, I don’t understand why we have been selected. Why were you chosen to lead this mission?” Nevski asked.

 

“I know that it must be odd that you two are asked to follow my lead, but it is because we each have skills that will be important for our individual roles. Juhani is skilled with force stealth.” I addressed her. “It will be your job to take out the guards between the ship and the bases without alerting security. You must also maintain a clear path for me back to the ship. We must go in and get back as quickly and quietly as possible.”

“Nevski, you are going to have to modify each proton torpedo so that they can penetrate the shields. You will also have to land the ship within a kilometer of each facility using only minimal power to thrusters. This ship’s energy signature should be small enough that we can get through undetected, but it would require a skilled pilot. That is your role.”

 

I stood up in front of them again. “Stealth cannot be compromised for any reason while I infiltrate the first two bases. On the third, Juhani will return to the ship while I’m in. If there’s not enough time for me to return, I will transmit the third frequency and you must start the bombing run without me.”

 

Nevski protested. “You mean destroy the third facility while you’re still inside?”

 

“We must destroy the weapons before the Sith arrive to collect their payment. If the deal falls through, the Sith may try to steal the endurium. It would simply be best to destroy the weapons and everyone involved before the Sith cargo ships arrive. Their sensors could detect our vessel, so it would be best to make it look like a deception by either side. That way, they will never want to trade with the other again.” They looked at me with unpleasant surprise. “I intend to be out of there before you start your attack run and meet up with you afterwards, but we should try to be out of there without being discovered.”

 

Juhani addressed me. “This sounds like a very dangerous mission. Are you sure that only three of us can pull it off?”

 

I didn’t think so, but I had to show the courage that they needed. Fear was contagious, so I tried to avoid showing any. “We can do this. As long as we remain hidden and ahead of schedule, we can stop these weapons from falling into the wrong hands.”

 

Nevski also stood up. “If I were to fire upon these bases, I would be killing thousands of people. Has the Council even considered that we’d be committing mass murder?”

 

I sat down. “As a matter of fact: they have. By killing thousands, our actions would save millions.”

 

He shook his head. “For a greater good?”

 

“If you wish to think of it like that.” He turned away from me. “Nevski...” I gently rotated him around to face me. “...this is to stop a mass slaughter from happening. If we don’t do this... if you don’t destroy those bases, the Tupilov will have an advantage over the other side which will result in millions of deaths. The Sith would also get the resources they need to continue their war against the Republic. We must destroy those weapons while they are still in the Sith’s possession. Can I trust you to do your job?”

 

He sighed and then nodded. “Yeah. I know what has to be done. I should run through some simulations before we get there.”

 

I nodded. “Very good. Dismissed.”

 

He walked out of the compartment and to the flight deck. When the door closed behind him, I sat down and sighed in exhaustion. Juhani stared at me for a long moment. “What?”

 

“Why did the Council choose you to lead a mission where millions of lives are at stake? Why did Master Atris say that it could only be you who could lead?”

 

I stared at a bulkhead for a long moment before I answered. “Kurillians are immune to the Jedi mind trick. In order to get information, the infiltrator must use... other means.” I stood up and crossed my arms. “I have a rare gift that allows me to absorb not only a person’s life energy, but knowledge as well. If I needed an access code or a means to bypass security, I could get information quickly and efficiently.”

 

She looked down as if saddened. “How do you feel about this?”

 

I picked up the pad. “Master Kavar seems to have figured everything out, himself. There are not going to be any hard choices to make. All things considered, this is little more than a blue-milk run. He might as well give this to a first year padawan!” I threw the pad across the compartment and dropped back into my seat.

 

She looked as if I were going to go mad with rage. When I didn’t, she stepped in front of me. ”The Council would not put so much at stake unless they trust the one they put in command. Millions of lives will depend on the decisions you make. You shouldn’t take this lightly.”

 

Juhani was a friend, but I didn’t know if she would go through all this without at least hesitating to follow me. “Juhani... do you trust me?”

 

She didn’t answer.

 

“It’s alright... I wouldn’t trust me either.”

 

“Whether I trust you or not is irrelevant. You are in command and I will follow your orders to the best of my abilities.”

 

“I’ll not yet you down. If not for the mission, then for Trevelyan.“ I assured her.

 

I went to pick up the pad I had thrown and retired to the crew quarters. We had two days to reach Kuril, so I had plenty of time to go over Kavar’s battle plans.

[Rev7]

Wow, that was a really good chapter there Darth_Yuthura. I like how you described everything, and I can't wait to read more. Good job!

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

Ah well done! This battle between Yuthura and Alfred was well described. Before the chapter when Yuthura, Juhani, and Nevski were on their mission, you said that you were not quite satisfied with it. My suggestion is to be to add more depth to the battles. Yuthura killed the gaurds effortlessly but battles are more exciting when there is a struggle. You showed this excitement in chp 13.

 

I'm glad Mission is starting to come around. After all, Yuthura and her are the twi'leks of the group, certainly they have things in common that the others do not. Keep up the hard work because its producing great results!

 

~HOP

[Darth_Yuthura]

We arrived in orbit around Kuril with about four hours before our first target was under the cover of darkness. Juhani and I were going through our gear, testing everything we would carry. We both had a pair of interface goggles to locate mines and provide night vision. Although we were capable of using the Force to navigate through the dark, I wanted to ensure we had every advantage we could get. We both slipped on black body armor, tough enough to give us some protection, but not heavy enough to encumber our freedom of movement.

 

I was provided a Defel stealth generator to wear around my waist. It was powerful enough evade both sensors and prying eyes, but the field worked both ways. I would be shrouded in darkness while I was cloaked, but only within the base would I have to rely on the Force to navigate. With only an hour’s supply of power, I could not afford to use it any more than I had to.

 

I also was provided a security breaker that I placed on my left wrist. The unit would be my means of going from one sealed area to the next. On the other arm was an Echani personal shield. The odds of it doing me any good were slim. If I got past security, then I had no use for it. On the other hand, if I were caught, Sith weapons would beat it down in seconds. Had it been anywhere else on the planet, their standard projectile weapons may have been easier to stop with a Mandalorian power shield.

 

Juhani did not require much more than her lightsabers, but I insisted that she be equipped with a stealth belt and Echani shield generator as well. Since she would not be infiltrating the bases, she didn’t have to travel light.

 

Nevski would have remained with the ship for the duration of the mission. Although capable, he was not required for anything more than taking off and landing the ship. His piloting was required to get us through undetected. Other than that, his presence would only increase the risk of us being discovered. Our ship did not have a cloaking device, but it could camouflage with its surroundings.

 

By the time Juhani and I were equipped, I was greatly concerned that I may have been leading all of us to our deaths... so much depended upon me. Then I pushed the thought aside... I couldn’t be second-guessing myself now. I had to show courage, not fear. Fear was contagious.

 

I got in front of them and gave one more pep talk... I think I did it more for myself than for them. “Juhani... Nevski... I know that you have doubts about my ability to command. And although the last thing I should do is show doubt, I feel you must know the truth. I’m greatly concerned about what will happen during the next 16 hours. I know that the stakes of this mission are high, but as long as we all do our jobs, we will succeed. For whatever my word is worth... I assure you that I won’t let you down. This is the first time I have been entrusted with people’s lives and I have no intent to lose that trust.” I went up to both of them and placed my hands on their shoulders. “Millions of lives will depend on us. Keep that in mind, but don’t let fear interfere with your judgment.” I turned around, but realized I forgot something. “One last thing: I’m glad to be here of all places. You two have made my acceptance into the Order much easier. For that: I thank you.”

 

They smiled at me with great confidence. I couldn't be sure if it was genuine or if they just hid their true feelings that well. The last few hours were spent preparing ourselves psychologically for the task ahead of us. Very little more was exchanged among us.

 

-----

 

We were about 10 minutes away from our first target, I went into the front to see how Nevski was doing. “How are we coming in?”

 

“We’ve got a problem... the sensor systems around the base are not what Kavar anticipated in the battle plan. They must have obtained type 14 sensors from the Sith as well. We can’t get through undetected.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Kavar’s battle plan anticipated that they were still using EMP systems. The ship could have slipped through those, but not type 14 sensors.” Nevski said.

 

“Is there anything that could be done?”

 

“We either have to land ten kilometers further from the landing sights than we intended, or cut power completely. Then we’d have nothing to control our descent, let alone take off again.”

 

“We can’t land that far away... how heavy is the ship?”

 

“This ship is about 20 metric tons. Why do you...?” He realized what I was thinking. “Are you suggesting that we levitate the ship all the way to the landing sites?”

 

“Have you ever tried it?”

 

“I’ve never been able to perform such a... delicate operation. I could move something as large as the ship, but I couldn’t pull off such a landing without causing damage to critical systems... or harming ourselves.”

 

“Harming us?”

 

“Yes.” He looked at me as if I couldn’t understand something so basic. “The ship is mostly hollow and trying to move something like this involves applying the Force to key locations that can handle the stresses. If I tried to take hold of anything inside, I might tear open a fuel tank, harm one of us, or crush a computer system. And that is simply holding the ship, not performing a landing.”

 

I leaned my head back as I realized I had to be the one to do it. Here’s where Alfred’s training came in handy. If I could animate a sand sculpture, then surely I knew where to hold the ship’s superstructure so it wouldn’t tear apart from the hull. “Get out of that chair, Nevski. I’m going to take us in.”

 

“Wait, you’re saying you can do it?” He stood up from his seat, but didn’t move aside. “You seriously can take full control of the ship and land us without destroying us?”

 

I put my hand on his shoulder and pulled him out of the pilot’s chair. “I guess I’ll soon find out.”

 

Juhani had been in the compartment behind us, but the hatch was open. She exclaimed in protest as she came to the flight deck. “Wait! Are you seriously considering trying to take us in without power? Are you that confident that you can manage that?”

 

“Size is meaningless to the Force, remember?”

 

“That’s all well and true, but that depends upon our level of control. Do you seriously believe that you can take us all the way to the base without losing your concentration and land us safely?”

 

“And take off unpowered?” He and she both stared at me. “We have to get out of there undetected as well.”

 

I dropped my head from the frustration of what I had to do. Suddenly, I realized that I displayed fear when I should have been showing confidence, so I moved into the pilot’s chair to make it look like I was just sitting down. “I’ve never tried, but if anyone can levitate the ship, it’s me.”

 

“Yuthura...” Nevski got to my side and on a knee. “We can’t just resort to something like this without considering other options. Take us up and we’ll figure out another way to penetrate the defenses.”

 

“We don’t have time. You said we need to go in unpowered... that’s a solution.”

 

“But can you do it? Can you...?”

 

“If you have any bright ideas, I’m listening!” I shouted in anger. When he didn’t give an answer, I gave a direct order. “Then shut up and strap yourselves in.”

 

Juhani looked at me as though I just offended her personally, but nervously got into one of the seats behind me. Nevski took the co pilot’s seat next to me. “We’ll need to cut power at least 10 kilometers away from the perimeter of the base. You should take us in high and fast so it’ll make it easier to land. Our speed will provide lift and you can sacrifice altitude for speed.”

 

“When we get close to the landing sight, you two may need to help me slow the ship so we don’t crash. I’ll hold the ship steady, but you two may need to harness our speed so we don’t overshoot the landing sight. Understood?”

 

They both nodded. Nevski prepared to power down the ship in-flight. “Approaching ten kilometers. As soon as we power down, you will have to take us the rest of the way. I will not power up again unless a crash is imminent.”

 

“Understood.”

 

“Powering down in three, two, one...”

 

Suddenly, all flight systems went dead and the pilot controls were dead. We started descending, but glided for a few seconds before the Force took its hold through me. In order to tap the force energy I needed, I had to fall into a trance that cut myself off from the rest of the galaxy. Although I would not be aware of events around me, I would be able to complete the task I set out for. During that time, I often relived the memories that caused me great anger, hate, and hurt.

 

I focused all my anger for one of the last vile acts that Omeesh committed against me. My friend, Nenya, was a victim because of an act I committed. I should have been the one punished, but Omeesh thought it more amusing if my friends were the ones to suffer for what I’ve done. He had turned everyone I ever loved against me and it still wasn’t satisfying enough for him. I despised everything about him and I wanted him dead! All that ever mattered anymore was hurting him for every beating he ever gave... every friend he murdered...

 

-----

 

My thoughts were interrupted by Juhani’s yelling. “We’re down... it’s over. Yuthura!"

 

I was gasping for air when I came to. I was exhausted by the concentration I needed to land the ship. After catching my breath, I asked, “Nevski... how did we do?”

 

“You did very well at controlling our descent. We were only a few hundred meters above the ground when we had to harness the ship’s momentum. It was amazing how accurate you were.”

 

I sighed in exhaustion and leaned my head back. “Good. At least we know we can do it.”

 

“You look terrible. Maybe you should rest...” Juhani suggested.

 

“We don’t have time.” I got out of my seat. “Nevski, start working on those proton torpedoes. Have them ready to program at a moment’s notice. Juhani, we need to get going.”

 

----

 

The area around the first stronghold was a jungle infested with bugs, but very few animals. My lekku were completely exposed to biting insects, and I had to keep myself from reacting to their stings. I was still tired from the landing, but could keep myself focused on the surroundings.

 

Juhani extended her arm to hold me back. “Mines. They are not strategically placed, so we can go around them.”

 

“Maybe, but if they are scattered about, it would mean we would not have a clearly defined path. Can you fuse the detonators without blowing them up?”

 

She didn’t face me. “Maybe, but I wouldn’t do it just for the sake of it. If I blast them with too much electricity, they will explode. I don’t think we should risk attracting attention unless they are in the way.”

 

“I don’t have any explosives with me. If you can, could you disarm a few? It doesn’t matter if you blow out the detonator, but I’d like to have something with me that can be used as a distraction or whatever explosives are good for.”

 

She shrugged her shoulders and pulled off her night-vision goggles. “I’ll try to short-circuit the fuses.” She reached out and shot a fan of electricity that hit the mines, but nothing went boom. Then she extended her arm and pulled the mines from where they were laying and directed them to levitate in front of me.

 

I took the three mines suspended in the air and slipped them into whatever pockets I had to spare. “Thanks. I wonder why we didn’t have any grenades in our inventory.”

 

“Jedi don’t use grenades. And this is a covert mission. There should not be any guards patrolling this area, so we should quicken our pace.” I nodded. “I’ll go ahead of you. Tell me if you sense any patrols.”

 

She went on for about 300 meters, disabling every mine we came across. We couldn’t proceed much faster than we could run, so I had some time to rejuvenate my Force energy. As we came across a clearing, I sensed others were in the area. Juhani felt them as well and lowered herself to the ground. I got beside her and whispered “Two guards ahead. I’ll take care of them.”

 

I reached out to snag them with the Force, snapping their necks with a gruesome sound. The path ahead looked clear, but there was still another sentient being in the area. “Juhani, stay down. There’s someone up ahead.”

 

I switched on my infrared goggles to search for a heat signature, but couldn’t locate him. I had no choice but to fall back to Juhani’s position in the trees. “I sense a sniper, but can’t locate him. We may have to go around.”

 

“That would take too much time. Let me go up ahead and I’ll find him.” She requested.

 

“Be careful. We can’t be seen... that is our first priority.”

 

She focused her mind and used her force stealth abilities to hide from anything with eyes... even I couldn’t see her. After she went ahead, I meditated again. I wasn’t sure if I could push my abilities to lift the ship another four times in addition to carrying out my duty.

 

It was strange for me to know that I couldn’t do what was required to complete the mission, yet not be worried about the ultimate outcome. I should have been greatly concerned about what would happen if we were discovered, but I almost felt comfortable with the idea... if we were discovered, it didn’t mean that we were dead. If discovered, I no longer had to go into the other two bases.

 

Then something about that thought left me with a sickening feeling. If we were discovered, there were going to be many lives lost and I would have gotten the blame for the mission failure. Jedi don’t execute for failure like the Sith, but that didn’t mean I would have welcomed their harsh words. All I had to do was push myself to the limits of my endurance for one day and it would all be over. Still... the next few hours were going to be hell.

 

Almost by reflex, I jumped to my feet running after I felt the spark of life ahead get extinguished. Juhani became visible again and I met up with her. “We’re almost there. The shield perimeter is just ahead.”

 

“Great job. Keep the path clear and I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

 

She checked her watch. “We’re ten minutes behind.”

 

“I’ll worry about that. Just keep the path clear!” I switched on my stealth generator and moved in.

 

----

 

There was a checkpoint in the shield that allowed passage into and out of the facility. I couldn’t afford to wait for a guard to pass through, so I used my lock breaker to open the doorway and got through the security systems.

 

The main entrance seemed too fortified to get through undetected, so I searched for an alternative means of infiltrating the compound. I was already about almost fifteen minutes behind and hadn’t even found the shield generator yet. When I didn’t sense anyone nearby, I lowered the shroud of the stealth field to find another way inside. Even these fools needed air conditioning, so I took advantage of the air ducts.

 

With a thought, one the grate was open and I leapt up to the opening before anyone caught sight of me. I had to assume this area was not riddled with sensors, so I didn’t reactivate the stealth field. It also much easier to see with my eyes again, so I started down the shaft and looked through each vent for some idea as to where I could locate the generator. Around one juncture was a massive power conduit. The most likely place to find critical systems would have been near one of those, so I followed it to its source.

 

Fortunately, of the three paths the conduit took, I followed the it to the shield generator. I half expected that I was going to run into the power generator or a maze of junctures that would have taken an hour to locate the right path. The control room to the generator had to be near, so I switched my generator back on and slipped through an opening.

 

There were guards everywhere, so I had to be especially cautious where I stood. I was in pitch black, but I could feel the life energy of everyone around. Even though I was cloaked, there was always the possibility that they would see the light refracting around me. The stealth field worked by bending light around the user, but it was never perfect. The more sophisticated Defel generator I had was among the top quality, but moving distorted the field because it could only process so much input from the surroundings. When still, the field was perfect, but the more I moved, the less perfect it became. I would have preferred to take it slow, but I was so desperate for time that I had to move at an uncomfortable pace and just not run into anyone. I could sense them, but they couldn’t see me at all.

 

When I finally found the shield control room, there were too many people around to decloak, so I had to create a diversion... somehow.

 

I didn’t have the time! I needed the shield frequency and couldn’t spare a moment, so I focused my mind and tried stunning the engineers who were at their stations. Three fell to the floor, but the fourth was unaffected by my mind trick. I heard him speak after he saw his companions hit the floor, so I dropped my cloak and grabbed him with the Force by the neck, effectively silencing him. Unfortunately, I had gripped too hard that it snapped his neck. I was only trying to shut him up and hold him where he was, but I had just erred.

 

A dead body was a clear indication of an intruder. The only choice I had was to hide the corpse and hope they wouldn’t notice for at least a few hours. The air vent was the best place, but I lost even more precious time disposing the body.

 

To get the shield frequency, I needed an authorization code, so I touched the forehead of the chief engineer and began draining his life energy. With it came memories, many of were of little use to me. I was surprised at the garbage floating in the guy’s mind, but I got some useful info on the situation of the trade that was going to take place. There were a few sith posted in each of the bases that acted as instructors to train the Kurillians on how to effectively use the advanced weapons.

 

I believe the Sith wanted to take advantage of the situation by giving an enemy of the Republic an edge over the other side. Kuril was a Republic world, but half of the population did not agree to become part of it. The Tupilov created great discord among the other side because they had conflicts that did not involve the Republic, yet they had the protection of the Republic fleet. They essentially were both protected by the fleet from outside threats, but were not allowed to interfere with their internal conflicts.

 

Naturally, the Sith would have wanted to have those on the Republic’s side wiped out so that the Tupilov could become independent, or worse allied with the Sith. If this trade were to go through, it would most likely happen... I had to stop that from happening.

 

It took a few minutes, but I managed to extract the info I needed, which included the precious access codes. I had not realized it, but I was decloaked and in sight for a long time without realizing it. Before I reactivated the field, I entered the code into the main computer and found what I needed: a frequency of 527 mark 459. I put it into my data pad and logged out before reactivating the field again.

 

I checked the status of the cloaking device and saw I had less than ten minutes of power remaining. I needed to get out of sight as quickly as possible, but before I left, I revived the engineers. While they were waking up, I clouded their minds so that they didn’t realize that they were unconscious just a moment ago. When I heard them resuming their duties, I assumed I was successful and they did not notice one of their comrades was gone.

 

-----

 

I crawled back through the vents and got to the shield checkpoint again. Juhani was waiting for me at the edge of the sensor perimeter and my stealth field went down just moments after I was clear. As we began running toward the ship, I knew what she was going to say and I just answered before she could ask the question. “I know. We’re twenty minutes behind, but I got what we needed.”

 

“I took out another patrol while you were in. The path is clear, so we should run as fast as possible.” She stated.

 

After the intense sprint, we were back on the ship. The instant we closed the hatch, I yelled “Nevski, get us ready for takeoff!”

 

“We can’t power up, remember? We will take off whenever you’re ready. Once outside the sensor range, we can power up. Until then...”

 

I got into the pilot’s seat. “Yeah, yeah. Just strap yourselves in and power up as soon as we’re clear. I’ll get us out of here.”

 

When I was ready, I concentrated all my thoughts onto the ship and where the critical points of the superstructure where I would focus the Force upon. I did not want to focus on the more delicate components that could be crushed or torn away. The landing gear were the ideal places to focus on and I slowly began to lift us off the ground. The more I concentrated, the less aware of the real world I became and soon fell into a trance.

 

-----

 

When I focused my mind on another moment of extreme anger, I relived a time when Omeesh wanted to watch me shriek in agony. He had me whipped by a shock lash for as long as it amused him. It was the most intense pain of my life because I was not allowed to pass out when the pain became too intense. The drugs I was injected with ensured that I would stay conscious for every last moment of it. He only ended it when I couldn’t scream anymore.

 

What infuriated me most was that these kind of injustices were allowed to happen and those who committed the crimes were never punished. Huts took such sick pleasure in watching my people suffer... they had to pay for their crimes! I desired so much to kill every single one of them! I could not allow that to happen again!

 

I had the power to change the galaxy and I was just as guilty for not stopping them. I hated myself more because I wasn’t dealing out the death and punishment they deserve! Why couldn’t I have just been able to forget the pain of my past and move on? How could anyone abide by such cruelty?!

 

-----

 

When I regained consciousness, I released a painful shriek and fell forward in my seat. After a short moment, Juhani pulled me back up and showed great worry in her eyes. It was a comfort to see that she was concerned about my well-being. “Yuthura... you can’t do this again. It is straining you beyond what you can handle.”

 

I was breathing very heavily and couldn’t keep my head up. “We have no choice... If we don’t... we’ll be detected... and we’ll...”

 

She placed her index finger over my lips to silence me. “It’s all right. You should rest now.”

 

Nevski turned to face me. “Yuthura, we must find another way to do this.”

 

“There is not... you said it yourself... we can’t land... unless we use... our Force power.”

 

“You’re no good to us in this condition. You are the only one who can infiltrate the remaining bases.” He said.

 

I thought of what else could be done to accomplish the mission. There had to be a way to save some time or effort. Finally, I came up with something. “Nevski... I need you... to do something for me... When I’m retrieving the shield frequency... in the next compound... you need to find a way... to disable their sensors... without attracting attention.”

 

He began to object. “Any kind of attack would alert them to our presence...”

 

I raised my hand. “No. After we land, you need to go in with a stealth generator and cause a sensor glitch... a diagnostic... anything that would allow us to launch normally at the next base.”

 

“I should go in with you.” Juhani suggested.

 

I shook my head. “No. Your Force stealth ability can’t fool electronic sensors. That and you have little skill with computers... no offense.” I leaned my head back in exhaustion. “What’s our ETA?”

 

“Eighteen minutes.” Nevski stated after checking his console.

 

“All right. I need to have my stealth belt recharged.” I reached to remove the device from my waist, but Juhani took care of that for me. Then she took it to the back to recharge the power cell. “I just wish I could do the same for myself.”

 

“Can’t you? Aren’t you able to drain energy from others?” Nevski asked.

 

“Life energy.” I corrected. “I am very much alive, but drained of Force energy. Draining life from others detracts from the very energy I’m lacking.”

 

“Yuthura, if you can’t do this...”

 

I raised my arm. “Please don’t argue anymore. I’m not going to let half a world be destroyed if I could stop it. Please just let me rest.”

 

I could not imagine that I could push myself so hard for people I didn’t even know; maybe who didn’t care about what I did with my life. For some reason, I couldn’t turn away from this. I began to doubt that we would succeed, but I couldn’t let Trevelyan or myself down. I had to make this work.

 

-----

 

“We’re three minutes out. I’m going to have us go in at full speed to minimize the time I must keep the ship level. We might end up skidding to a stop, but the terrain is grassland.” I said as we approached the second base’s sensor range.

 

Juhani was watching me nervously as we came closer to T-minus zero. “Don’t strain yourself this time. Nevski and I should help you support the ship as well.”

 

“You can’t. I have to do this alone because I’ll be controlling the ship’s course and descent. You two need only to slow us to a stop once we’re over the landing site. Before then, I must take full control without any other influence.”

 

Nevski turned his head to the left. ”Are you ready for this?”

 

“Not really, but it’s not like we have any other choice. You just do your job. I’ll worry about mine.” I concluded the conversation.

 

Nevski started powering down the ship’s systems. “We’re nearing ten kilometers. Cutting thrusters... now.”

 

-----

 

I lost myself to a moment I hated while I was among the Sith. After I had become Uthar’s second, we often rolled around in bed. Although we hated each other, it didn’t stop us from giving in to our animal instincts now and again. Although he was everything I despised, I enjoyed those late-night sessions with him.

 

One night, shortly before Trevelyan crossed my path, we got down to business after the excitement was over. “The recruits we’re getting are becoming less worthy than their predecessors.” I complained.

 

“I’ve been teaching here for six years. They’re no different than the last class.” Uthar said.

 

“They’re getting dumber, more wild, less devoted... Surely you’ve noticed?”

 

“Yes, I have. Perhaps they are following your example?”

 

“What?!”

 

“I had been expecting that you’d start using other tactics than... this. I’m not a fool to think you’re doing this other than to advance your goals. If you think that I wouldn’t be expecting you to usurp me, then you don’t deserve to beat me.” He stood up and began dressing himself.

 

“If you already know that, then why do you bother with me?”

 

“I enjoy being with a beautiful woman. I also enjoy watching you demean yourself.” After he got on his uniform, he looked back at me. “It’s all you’re good for. That’s why I’ll always be the master... I don’t have to bring myself to such depths as you to beat my enemies.” He got in my face. “You’re just a whore... and you’re powerless against me.”

 

-----

 

This time, I awoke more peacefully. I could barely focus on my surroundings and was of no use to the others. “How are you?” Juhani asked.

 

“I’ll live. How was the landing this time?”

 

Nevski turned around. “We came in pretty hard, but all major systems are still online. Are you all right?”

 

I unfastened my seat harness and stood up. “We are still behind schedule. If we can...”

 

Nevski gently pushed me back into my seat. “You... are staying right here. We will clear the way and you can catch up. Until then...”

 

I nodded. “Rest. I won’t argue with you on that.”

 

Juhani placed her hand on my shoulder. “We’ll contact you when the way is clear.” When the two of them exited the ship, I threw my head back and fell asleep the instant I hit the headrest.

 

----

 

I was asleep for nearly an hour before I heard the comlink. “Yuthura? Are you there?”

 

I pivoted my head to find the comlink laying on the panel in front of the co-pilot’s station. I extended my arm and grabbed it. “Yeah. I’m on my way.”

 

“Nevski is already inside.”

 

-----

 

My run through the second fortress went without incident. Nevski managed to arrange for a sensor diagnostic to take place during the time we would take off. To ensure we would not miss the window of opportunity, he gave me 90 minutes to go in and get back... I did it in 70.

 

For the twenty minutes of time we had before the sensors went down, the three of us had a casual conversation.

 

“So Yuthura, tell me about Master Zhar. What is he like as a Master to a single apprentice?” Nevski asked.

 

“He’s... very strict about how I use passion to fuel my connection to the Force. He doesn’t get angry like Vrook, but he doesn’t allow me to progress to the next level if I don’t do a task with a mastery of peace.” I explained. “I can do something just as easily with passion as you could through peace, but if I use passion to accomplish my goals. Even if I succeed, he would just say ‘again.’ That gets frustrating.”

 

“Quatra never forced that upon me. Often I used anger to fuel my connection to the Force, but she said it was alright as long as my feelings did not influence my actions.” Juhani said.

 

I made a sound of interest. “Any chance I could train with him?”

 

“She...” Juhani emphasized. “...already has her hands full with three padawans. I don’t think she’d be able to take on another.” She said almost jokingly. “Who was your master... from before?”

 

“Master Kolchak.”

 

She raised her head upon hearing the name. “He’s still around. Why aren’t you with him?”

 

I didn’t answer.

 

Nevski looked at me as though he’s seen a ghost or something. “You’re Master Kolchak’s apprentice... the one he lost... to the Sith.”

 

I raised my head in surprise. “Yes... you sound as though you didn’t know.”

 

He shook his head. “He never spoke of you by name. In fact, he never really did speak of what happened before he settled on Coruscant.”

 

“You know him?”

 

“He and I are acquainted. He’s always been somewhat of a mystery to everyone. Never was willing to speak of his past. We’ve heard rumors that he had taken an apprentice, but nothing in his records indicated what happened before he came to Coruscant.”

 

I looked at Nevski with an odd sense of respect or something. “There are no records that I was his apprentice? Or that he was my master?”

 

He shook his head. “They often don’t have records of that... in order to isolate each Jedi from those that could be a liability. It was not unusual for that, but Alfred... he never really admitted that he ever took an apprentice. He was always very sensitive to the master/padawan relationship, which was where the rumors of a lost apprentice originated.”

 

I pulled my head back in surprise. I had no idea that Alfred and I were shrouded in such mystery. I would have assumed he’d not speak of me, but that he pretended like I never existed... that was painful to know. I turned my head away to hide my feelings from their sight. “I suppose that he wanted to forget me and move on with his life. That was the best thing for him to do.”

 

“I don’t think he ever did resume his life after that. For the first decade of his service, he was a great Jedi Watchman. Always traveling from one place to another and giving hope and serving justice to those who needed it.” He looked at me, very saddened. “Then he came to Coruscant and took up teaching in a classroom. Unlike Master Vrook or Zhar, he didn’t have much enthusiasm and had really just kept to himself. That was a far cry from the Jedi he used to be.”

 

I stared into Nevski’s eyes with a great feeling of shame running through my thoughts. “I didn’t want to hurt him. I was just doing what I thought was right.”

 

“I’m not judging you. Master Kolchak knew the risks when he took you as an apprentice. Whatever happened to him after you left... it was ultimately his choice to make. He chose to his path, not you.”

 

“But it was because of me that he...”

 

Juhani jumped in. “This is not the best time to talk about this. We need to be ready when the sensors go off-line.”

 

Nevski was in the pilot’s seat this time around. He turned forward and checked the clock he had set. “The diagnostic is scheduled to begin in three minutes, twenty four seconds. We’ll know when they go down and should have a window of five minutes to power up and get out of range. Then Yuthura just has to take us in one last time and we’ll not have to worry about being detected after that.”

 

I leaned my head back and felt like I could fall asleep, but I soon was alerted to a new disturbing realization. I heard Nevski almost cry out in panic. “The countdown has ended, but the sensors have not gone off-line!”

 

“What?”

 

“I set the sensors to shut down at exactly this time, but they are still operational. It did not work.”

 

“What if the timers are off? Could it have just been delayed or something?”

 

“No. They must have discovered what I did and stopped the diagnostic... damn!”

 

Juhani asked, “Then what do we do? Go back and shut them down?”

 

“There’s no time. I have to take us up again.” I said.

 

“Can you pull that off two more times?” Nevski asked.

 

“I don’t think so, but I have no choice but to try.”

 

“If you can’t do it, then we can’t risk...”

 

“I’m taking us out of here! We can’t afford to lose any more time... we’ve only got a few hours to reach the third installation and leave the planet before the Sith transport ships arrive in orbit.” I got myself ready to take us up again and concentrated all my focus on lifting the ship. “We’re going up, so either strap yourselves in or we will crash.”

 

“Hold on! Don’t just...”

 

“Shut up! You’re breaking my concentration!”

[Rev7]

It is good to see that Yuthura and Alfred are on the same page now. I like how you added in the necklace. I think that was a great description, and I am really glad that Yuthura kept it. Yuthura has really changed, so has become wiser, stronger, and smarter. I like where you are going with this story!

 

Marvelous job!

[Darth_Yuthura]

Resuming from the last post, this is the second part of 'Extreme Measures.'

 

-------

 

I put all my thoughts on the most defining moment of my life; when the strength of my anger conquered pure evil.

 

I had watched as all my friends have died and I have learned to avoid making attachments to others who would inevitably die as well. Omeesh had spent years trying to break me... although I refused to surrender to him, I knew that it was only a matter of time before I would bow down and do whatever he asked. I have suffered so much pain... so much humiliation that it hurt just to live.

 

One night, I was left alone with him in his bedchamber. I came to realize that if he were gone, maybe the pain would stop. I took a knife he had been using and leveled it at his throat. A surge of adrenaline coursed through my veins as I drove the blade through with all the anger, rage, and hate of a thousand lifetimes.

 

His eyes opened, but he couldn’t speak. He just gagged on his own blood and slowly suffocated. I moved myself to his ear and whispered “Never again will you hurt me.” As he choked on his blood, I smiled for the first time that I could ever remember and I savored every moment of his suffering.

 

----

 

I was screaming in agony for a long time before main power had been restored. I had collapsed forward and fell into tears. I had never come to understand just how much Omeesh had hurt me. I knew that I would never see justice for what had been done to me or my friends.

 

With every fiber of my being, I hated Omeesh, but could never be free of him. He may be gone, but the memories would always continue to hurt me. It may have been that realization that was making me cry, but I was physically and mentally taxed.

 

Juhani held me in her arms and let me cry on her shoulder. Nevski also did what he could to comfort me, but it did very little to ease the pain. The last time I’ve had a moment like this was when Master Kolchak found me on that desolate planetoid. I remember his gentle voice telling me that he would not let anyone hurt me again. Although I greatly appreciated having them with me, it was not enough to make me forget that the mission was doomed at that point.

 

After a long period of silence, Juhani spoke very softly to Nevski. “You may have to take command now.”

 

He shook his head. “I can’t. Without Yuthura, we can’t slip through the sensors. I know that I can’t take us in. I don’t have her... delicate touch with the Force. We’d lose the ship if I tried to put us down.”

 

“Then what are we to do?”

 

“We’ll just have to take out the two bases that we can and hope the Tupilov will not continue with the trade. They...”

 

“No... we have to take out that last base. If we don’t the Sith could just re-negotiate for the Endurium... or steal it... or something. We need to leave nothing for either side to have. The Sith would think the Tupilov stole the weapons and destroyed the bases to cover their tracks. The Tupilov will think the Sith backstabed them. They will blame each other and both enemies lose.” I explained.

 

“Yuthura, you can’t pull off another landing in your condition, let alone get the last frequency. Even you can’t deny that.”

 

I breathed heavily. “You’re right. I can’t.”

 

“Then we should attack the two bases with the modified proton torpedoes and leave. The original plan might still work if they don’t know that a Republic ship was responsible. We’ve already done much more than would be enough to disrupt this trade. We should not risk endangering it all if we know you can’t get the third frequency.” Nevski declared.

 

I leaned my head back and tried to come up with another solution to the problem. There had to be a way in which I could get the last shield frequency that didn’t involve landing the ship without power. Suddenly, a wild idea came that just might have been crazy enough to work. “Nevski, how far do we have to be from those sensors before our energy signature can be detected?”

 

“Ten kilometers, but that’s the maximum limit of their range. We might be able to reach five or closer, but the risk of detection increases the closer we get. What are you suggesting?”

 

“We have an environmental suit among our stores of equipment. It could act like a space suit, is that right?”

 

Juhani answered. “Not quite. It could work in a vacuum, but it would only keep the one wearing it alive for a few minutes before they freeze to death. What are you thinking of doing?”

 

I paused a long moment before I made such a bold proposition. “If Nevski were to take us over the base, ten kilometers overhead, I could jump out wearing the suit and I can control my descent much easier than if I were controlling a 20 ton ship.”

 

“No, you can’t possibly expect us to go along with this. We would not be able to rescue you once you’ve jumped out. And there is no telling if you would be able to perform such a feat. We’re talking about a jump from at least 10,000 meters without a parachute or anything to break your descent.” Juhani protested.

 

“Do you think I don’t know that? I could get in much faster, transmit the frequency to you and get out before the compound explodes. After that, you can pick me up and we all can leave this place forever.” I said.

 

Nevski and Juhani looked at each other, not knowing if to let me try such a stunt. Juhani shrugged her shoulders. “If you want to try it, I can’t stop you. Trevelyan would not let me hear the end of it if you die, though.”

 

“Just say you were following your orders.”

 

She looked at me almost as though she expected the worst. “I just hope you know what you’re doing. I’ll get the suit ready for you.” She moved into the back compartment.

 

“I’ll not be able to drop you directly over the base, so you’ll need to control where you land and try not to attract attention where you chose to hit the ground. I’ll take us there now. And I’ll have to depressurize the back compartment, so get Juhani in here once you’re ready.”

 

“Understood. Have those proton torpedoes ready. When I transmit the last frequency, I’ll get out of the base as quickly as possible. Wait for me to clear before you come back to bomb the last target.”

 

-----

 

I was in the environmental suit and looking down upon my target. From 10,000 meters, the facility was still very massive, but it was about to get much larger once I made the jump.

 

“You can still back out of this. No one will think less of us if you don’t want to try it.” Nevski said over the intercom in the suit.

 

“I’m sure I can do it. I just need you to be ready when I signal you with the last frequency. I will see both of you soon enough.” I cut communications before they could say goodbye and just leaped out of the open hatch.

 

At first, I was almost thrilled at the experience, but soon realized just how quickly the ship above me was shrinking from my sight. In only ten seconds, the 20 ton ship looked like an insect before it moved beyond my sight. I suddenly realized just how fast I was accelerating towards the surface.

 

The air was thin at such a great altitude, so my terminal velocity was much greater there than near the surface. It didn’t mean much to know I would slow down as the air got thicker because I came to realize just how fast I was falling. I must have been dropping at 300 km/hour and still accelerated.

 

I did not use my Force abilities yet because I would have wasted the precious little energy I had if I did it before I reached terminal velocity. As I fell, I extended my arms and body to get as much wind resistance as possible, which slowed me down drastically, but still I was getting scared at just how fast I was going.

 

After terminal velocity was reached, I knew that I would only slow down from that point, but watched my altitude get lower and lower much faster than I had expected. When I was at about a thousand meters above the ground, I started breaking myself with the Force, but found it was more difficult because of the cumbersome suit I was wearing.

 

When I realized that I wasn’t going to break myself in time, I knew I had to get rid of the suit, so I released a Force repulse... shedding the suit from around me. The sudden change in pressure on my body was harder than I expected, but it almost seemed to give me the drive I needed to harness my fall. Before, I was just slowing myself as much as was comfortable, but then I brought and extreme amount of stress on my body as I dropped below two hundred... excruciating G-forces below 100 meters... then I positioned myself to land on my feet... and felt myself hit the ground. Although painful, I knew I had not broken anything when I collapsed onto my back.

 

For a very long moment, I just laid there, letting my body adjust to the conditions at ground level. I had just made a 10 kilometer jump and survived without a parachute... they need to include that from now on.

 

When I heard activity going on in the distance, I realized that I landed inside the base’s perimeter and was in plain sight. Standing up was painful, but it was something I could work through. The stealth field generator had not been recharged when I had the opportunity, so I had very little power left to work with. I sprinted to the main entrance uncloaked and with very little Force energy to aid my speed, but I got through without being seen.

 

-----

Once inside, I engaged my stealth field, but found it was almost impossible to sense anything around me. I had almost exhausted my Force energy and had to be much more careful this time. I couldn’t reach the air vents without dropping the field, so I had to try and make it through the base without running into anyone in the hallways. I was being reckless with what little I had to work with, but I was desperate to get what I needed and get out before the stealth field died on me.

 

I was over an hour behind schedule when I started, but the fall made up for the lost time. I still had to move as fast as possible to find the shield control room. Each base was of a different layout, so there was no way to know if I could reach my destination in time. I could hear soldiers preparing themselves and their equipment for battle, adding even more pressure and obstacles to avoid while I moved through the base. I felt like I had just walked into the jaws of hell and kept going in the wrong direction, but I had no choice. I was desperate to end this.

 

When I was finally in the control room, I dropped my stealth field and simply killed everyone in the room except the chief engineer. I didn’t care about being discrete at that point. When I tried draining his lifeforce, I found I was too weak. He grabbed my neck and threw me against a wall. Normally, I could have just gotten up and defended myself, but I struggled to stay awake.

 

Then I heard him activate a comm system and alert security to my presence. “I’ve found a Sith spy! Deck four, section forty! They’re deceiving us! Repeat: Sith spy...” I threw my lightsaber and cut him to pieces, but knew I was too late. Everyone was going to be on top of me shortly.

 

I got back on my feet and ran to the control terminal. To get the shield frequency, I just inserted my lock breaker into an open slot. It didn’t matter at that point whether I was breaking in since alarms were already blazing. I grabbed my comlink and contacted Nevski. “I’ve been discovered! Start the bombing run now... I’ll transmit the frequency when I have it.”

 

“If we don’t have the third frequency, I wouldn’t...”

 

“Start your attack on the other bases first! When you have the last frequency, return here to finish the job! I’ll try to get out before then!”

 

“What if you’re...”

 

“Start the bombing run now!” Two guards armed with assault riffles came into view to my left. Given the dead bodies laying at my feet, they didn’t bother to demand my surrender, so they started shooting on sight. I activated my lightsaber just in time to block the shots, but I didn’t deflect them back to their source like I intended.

 

After nearly being hit by their own shots, they took cover behind a corner and started firing volleys and ducking for cover. I didn’t have time to wait for a clean shot, so I just reached out with the Force and grabbed one of their guns and directed it at the other’s foot. When the guy realized he shot his own ally, he let go of the gun instinctively, not knowing I still had control of it. Instead of hitting the floor, the weapon spun around in the air and eventually pointed at him.

 

After hearing the body hit the deck, I looked back at the terminal and got what I came for. I grabbed the comlink, “Nevski, the frequency is 384 mark 671. I’m getting out!”

 

-----

 

I knew the place was going to be crawling with guards quickly, so I ran through the nearby corridor. When I reached the door, a squad of soldiers had already started firing at me from behind. I tried deflecting their shots, but got hit in the leg. My armor protected me against the second blast to my side.

 

I managed to get the door open and crawled through before seeing two grenades coming at me. I reached out my arm and managed to close the door before they exploded in my face. After hearing the explosions, I jammed the door shut with my lightsaber and fell to the floor in exhaustion. In that precious moment, I injected myself with a battle stimulant and checked the shot I took to my leg. While painful, it was only a flesh wound. I just had to tough it out.

 

When I heard the soldiers trying to get through the door, I jumped back on my feet and started running wherever I could. Four more guards tried to cut me off, but I shot them with a blast of electricity. I knew it was a mistake to waste what little Force energy I could muster, but it was done.

 

When I reached the main entrance, soldiers were already pouring through that room faster than I could kill them. I saw an opportunity to get through the entrance, but I needed more than just my lightsaber against all those blasters. After activating my personal shield, I was getting ready to make a leap of faith before I confronted by two more soldiers that appeared from another hallway.

 

I should have just taken my chance when I could, but they pinned me down and started shooting with everything they had. Although I deflected their shots back at them, I took several more from the soldiers near the entrance. The shield saved me from certain death, but by the time I had ducked from their sights, it had burned itself out.

 

Without that shield, I could no longer go forward, so I had to fall back and find another way out. More soldiers started coming in from behind and cut off my only means of retreat. Their blasters started blazing, but I had no means to dodge the shots because the only way I could go was towards the source. I deflected as many as I could, but couldn’t keep it up... I was doing whatever I could to block the shots that I didn’t care where they went as long as it wasn’t me they hit.

 

In desperation, I threw my lightsaber towards them and jumped back. My hope was that before I hit the floor and became a still target, that my lightsaber would take them out. When I was on my back, I heard the saber cutting through flesh, but I didn’t know how many I got. If even one were still standing, I was dead.

 

When the lightsaber hit the floor, I heard silence. I lifted my head to confirm that I had killed all four with that desperate throw. Every instinct told me to take a sigh of relief and relax, but I knew that I was not out of danger yet. I pulled myself to my feet and grabbed my lightsaber before I started running again.

 

I ran back down the hall from where I came and made a right turn, but soon found myself at a dead end. My only means of escape had been cut off, so I needed another. When I attempted to cut through the wall with my lightsaber, I realized the duracrete wall must have been over a meter thick. The other walls were clearly laced with fuel and power conduits, so I couldn’t cut through them without blowing myself up. There was no way out except through dozens of fully equipped soldiers. My only defense against them was a lightsaber, but I knew I was doomed. After exhausting myself to the point of collapse, I took my final stand here.

 

I positioned myself around a corner to allow me some cover, but it didn’t keep grenades from being thrown near my position. I was deflecting their shots as best I could with the lightsaber, but since I couldn’t see my enemies, I was just redirecting missed shots from one blank wall to another. There was no point in it, but if there was even the slightest chance of scoring a hit... at least that’s one more I take with me.

 

There were too many of them and it was only a matter of time before I found myself in the blast radius of a plasma grenade. I just stared at the red object as it rolled closer to me, but my reflexes weren’t telling me to dive for cover. When it detonated, the fire bomb singed my left lekku and face. My cloths were scorched, but nothing serious came to the rest of my body from the flames.

 

I was knocked to the floor, also deafened by the sound and couldn’t summon the strength to stand. I managed to look over my left shoulder and suddenly felt a terrible pain erupt in my left chest. I pulled myself out of the line of fire, but the damage had already been done.

 

As I tried to inhale, I choked on blood. A hole in my chest left my rib cage shattered and punctured the lung it was supposed to protect. The pain was excruciating and only got worse. I knew that I couldn’t possibly escape death this time. I wanted to end the pain, but lacked the strength to reach my lightsaber and finish it.

 

Blasters continued firing for a long time after I had fallen, but I noticed that they began dying down. When they fell silent, I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t dead. Darkness took me, but I was not unconscious. That must have been what death felt like, but it was nothing like I expected.

 

Although I couldn’t open my eyes, I could barely hear over the ringing in my ears a woman’s voice. “No... no!” I felt a gentle touch on my neck. “She’s alive, but dying... No! We must stabilize her before she can be moved.”

 

“If we don’t get out of here, we’ll be overwhelmed!” came a man’s voice.

 

“If we move her, she’ll die... and we’ll have killed her.”

 

A moment passed. “Give me your lightsabers. I’ll hold them off as long as I can. Hurry!”

 

I could hear her whispering to me. “Please hold on... just a few more minutes.” The pain in the left side of my chest was going away as the gentle touch of her hand relieved the hurt. “Almost... and an injection of dilaphin should be enough for now... Done!” Then pain returned when I was flung over her shoulder. “I’ve got her. Just watch my back.” When the pain became too intense, I finally passed out.

 

-----

 

The ringing still echoed in my ears, but I could hear the rumble of a hyperdrive and the breathing of another. I couldn’t feel my body; I was numb. As I stretched myself across the bed, I groaned as if in pain, but because I was drugged, I didn’t feel anything.

I heard her voice very softly over the ringing. “Careful! Your internals are barely being held together. Keep still.”

 

I opened my eyes and saw Juhani hovering over me. I was having trouble breathing, but there was no pain. I spoke very weakly, “You... came for me.” I saw a nasty wound on her right shoulder. “You should have that treated.”

 

“With what? We used everything we had to keep you alive.”

 

I lifted my head off the pillow and saw Nevski beside her. “You were there as well. I told you to bomb the targets.”

 

“They were. I programed the computer to make the bombing run automatically. Since I didn’t need to be aboard, we decided to rescue you.”

 

“What if... something went wrong?”

 

“It was a risk I was willing to take.” Nevski stated.

 

“As your commanding officer, I should reprimand you for that.” I laid my head back and closed my eyes. “As a friend, I thank both of you. What’s the prognosis?”

 

Juhani grimly stated “You took two blaster shots to your left ribs. You have a punctured lung which will likely have to be replaced. You suffered second and third degree burns to your arms and lekku. There was also shrapnel throughout your body that I’ve been able to remove.”

 

“Thank-you.”

 

She smiled at me. “Other than that, how do you feel?”

 

“Like I was ripped apart and had my internals stuffed back in.” I chuckled and coughed up more blood.

 

“Careful! You’re only breathing on one lung. I stabilized your condition, but you’ll have to take it easy until we get you to a kolto tank.” She grabbed a towel and wiped away the blood.

 

“When will we be back?”

 

“We’re 18 hours away. You should rest now.” Nevski answered.

 

“Wait... what happened on Kuril after we left?”

 

She looked at me very sadly. “The Sith had intended to double-cross the Tupilov in the first place. They stole much of the Endurium that had been prepared for the trade. They had effectively planned ahead on how to take what they could and leave the Tupilov with nothing.”

 

I sighed in great frustration. “All that for nothing.”

 

Nevski spoke up. “No. We were able to prevent one side from being eradicated. The people of Kuril will have to settle their problems by themselves. By destroying the weapons and turning the Tupilov against the Sith, we may have gained another ally against a common enemy.” He leaned over me. “You’re a hero. You understand?”

 

“You’re a hero.” Juhani added.

 

I chuckled weakly. “We were in this together. Besides, you were the ones who saved me. Remember?”

 

They both kept smiling at me. “You should rest now. We’ll take care of you.”

 

It felt so rewarding to hear myself called a hero. It made me smile to know that I made a difference to so many. This must be how Trevelyan feels which gives him such peace. I turned my head away and let myself fall into a blissful sleep.

 

-----

 

When I was woken up, I didn’t want to get out of bed. Juhani told me to sleep just a while ago; now she’s forcing me to get up?

 

“We’re back now. We have to get you to a kolto tank, so get up and we’ll take you the rest of the way.” Nevski said.

 

I leaned forward and saw that I was in my underwear. It didn’t bother me that I was exposed, but I didn’t like others seeing the bandages throughout my body. “Where’s my robe?” Juhani handed it to me. She even offered to dress me, but I could do it myself. The two gave me some privacy and I saw the extent of the damage. My left leg was covered with cuts and open wounds from a fragmentation grenade. My left lekku was bandaged almost completely. I was glad that I was numb to the pain, or I might have been screaming like I was on Sleheyron.

 

After I got dressed, I was able to stand up and went through the door. The two placed my arms over their shoulders and carried me down the loading ramp. When we emerged I heard great applause from everyone in the temple. They had gathered in the hanger to welcome us back. It made me smile. “They’re honoring us?”

 

Juhani smiled at me. “It’s you, Yuthura. They honor you.”

 

I was offered a stretcher, but I didn’t want to show weakness, so I tried walking on my own. I managed only got a few steps before collapsing. They caught me before I landed on my face and Juhani said that they would not think less of me if I accepted the stretcher. I looked at the crowd and then nodded.

 

As I was being carried through, everyone gathered around me. I heard nothing but compliments and praise. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I felt like I was no longer an outcast to them... that I have earned their trust again.

 

“Congratulations.”

 

“You’ve become a true jedi.”

 

“You were great.”

 

Kavar walked along side me. “I’m sorry you were put in that position. You were brilliant to come up with a solution to those advanced sensors. Many lives were saved because of you.”

 

“Thanks. That means a lot.” I replied.

 

“Welcome home.” Vash said.

 

I caught sight of Dustil Onasi. He hovered over me. “I can’t believe I once called you ‘master.’ To think you would turn to the jedi? That made me laugh.”

 

I smiled very cheerfully. “So you came all this way to ridicule me?”

 

“I really didn’t have anywhere else to go. The Father said you had come here and I guess I had to see it for myself.”

 

“And...?”

 

“How could one as wicked as you be accepted by these people?”

 

“I shouldn’t have been... I was forced upon them. They would accept you if that’s what you want.”

 

He shook his head and smiled at me. “If you think I’m calling you ‘master’ again, you’re wrong.”

 

“You never did on Korriban. I would have killed you for such disrespect, had Uthar not found it amusing.” He laughed out loud. “You think I’m joking, don’t you?” He looked at me more seriously, then backed away. He understood that I was stating a fact. If Uthar hadn’t stopped me, I would have made an example out of him.

 

“You’ve not only met my expectations, but you’ve far exceeded them.” Vrook stated.

 

“I could think of no higher praise than that.” Zhar stated. “I don’t think any more training is required for you. You’ve been nominated for the rank of jedi knight and we’ll hold a ceremony after you recover.”

 

Despite all their praise, I was almost desperate for Trevelyan. I wanted to see him more than anyone else. I grabbed Master Zhar’s arm and pulled him towards me. “Where is Trevelyan? Is he here?”

 

“He is currently on a mission of his own. He has been informed of your success and should be back in a few days.” He replied.

 

-----

 

I was taken to the medical facility within the enclave. There was a surgical suite, a kolto tank room, and a patient recovery area. Unlike other facilities, the jedi mainly employ sentients for the medical staff over droids. This is probably just another tradition of the order.

 

I was carried into a private room with a single kolto tank and a medical bed. A female human nurse was left to tend to my wounds. Before I could be treated with kolto, I had to remove my cloths. I even had to take off my top so she could remove the bandages covering my ribs.

 

As I was laid on the bed under a bright light with my breasts exposed, it brought back many unpleasant memories of Sleheyron. The chastisement chamber was often filled with slaves stripped of their clothing so they could be beaten and humiliated for Omeesh’s amusement. This was like being in that horrible room again.

 

When she began removing the bandages from my lekku, I couldn’t stand it anymore. The lekku were the most sensitive part of a twi’lek’s body and I wouldn’t let another handle them again. I let out a force wave and threw her hard against the wall.

 

I gasped in horror at what I had just done. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to...” She was not moving. I rolled onto the floor and crawled over to her... she still had a pulse, but I may have just broken her neck. “Help! Someone, Help!”

 

Two others heard my call and rushed in to help. “What happened?!”

 

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to...!”

 

She grabbed a comlink. “We need a medical team in here now! We need to get her into surgery!”

 

I was still half naked and in despair at the thought of having killed yet another innocent. When the team entered the room, the two nurses carried me to the kolto tank; I was still a patient after all. I was sedated, despite being too weak to put up any kind of resistance. I soon lost consciousness.

[Rev7]

Not bad, not bad. So Yuthura got a new pair of clothing? I thought that Jedi had to wear their customary robes. I wonder what the Council will say of it. Anyways, it wasn't a bad chapter.

[Darth_Yuthura]

This Chapter has overwritten a previous post. The replies will be out of sync with the chapters from now on, so be aware of that.

 

-------

 

It had been nearly a decade since I had escaped from Sleheyron. I still remembered the day I was left on that miserable planetoid and when I was discovered by Master Kolchak.

 

The star overhead had been beating down hard upon me for the last few days. Although twi’leks were adept at surviving in harsh environments, I was not going to survive there for very long. I still carried the knife that killed Omeesh, so I could cut into the plants and survived off its water. There was no wildlife or edible vegetation, so I would have starved to death. The water had extended my life by weeks, but for what purpose?

 

As I took shade under one of them, I already began to feel the pain of hunger nagging at my body. I didn’t know why I hadn't used the knife to just end my life there. Although I didn’t want to die, I knew there was nothing left to live for. As much as I wanted to end the my... I felt... something that was driving me to live, or keeping me from dying.

 

After about 20 days (those on the planetiod were very short), I heard a deep rumbling in the distance. It didn’t seem real, but I knew that I wasn’t going mad. I could feel the vibration in my flesh, the wind shifting against my skin, and the shadow that the ship cast upon the ground as it passed between me and the star.

 

When the engines powered down, I saw a human leave the vessel. I’ve never seen him before, but he seemed familiar. As he walked across the landscape towards me, I was scared, not knowing if he intended to harm me as had Omeesh. I didn’t know about anything outside of Omeesh's palace.

 

I tried to stand, but was very weak and knew that my best hope was to remain hidden. Of course, this man may have been my best hope of survival... but why survive? I had no desire to become someone else’s property again. I didn’t want to escape one master only to have another.

 

He caught sight of me and slowly approached. I had no idea what he intended... would he have taken me with him? Did he intend to take me for his own? Would he hurt me? That's all anyone outside had ever done. Fear clouded my mind and I got into a fetal position as if it would protect me.

 

When he was a few meters away, he stopped and gently called to me in twi’lek. [i’m Alfred Kolchak. Are you all right?]

 

I slowly raised my head and looked at him.

 

He extended his hand towards me. [it’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you.]

 

I yelled out in Basic. “Please go away!”

 

He replied in basic, “I know you’re scared, but I’ve come to take you away from this place. You need not fear me.” He got to a knee. “What’s your name?”

 

I was shaking at what I was hearing. I’ve been tricked by kindness far too many times to let myself be lured by his pleasant words, but I answered. “Yu... Yuthura.”

 

He smiled and slowly came closer. “I’m glad to meet you, Yuthura. Can you stand?”

 

"Stay away!"

 

He refrained from taking another step. "Yuthura... I know that you do not wish to be here. I know that you're afraid, but if you wish to leave here... I can take you back to your home, or I could..."

 

Suddenly, terror took over my mind and I lost all control of myself. The thought of being returned to that horrible world was too much for me handle. I curled into a ball and wished so much to be... anywhere else. I had no reason to trust him, but I wanted so much to believe that he meant what he said. Suddenly, I felt his gentle touch on my back.

 

In an instant, it was like all the fear and terror was gone. Just feeling him was almost like knowing him. His gentle touch felt... wonderful. It was like everything that Omeesh was not. He softly spoke to me. “It’s all right. You're going to be all right.” He covered me with his cloak and lifted me off the ground. His strength was impressive, he could have used me and I would not have been able to protect myself, but I wasn’t afraid. There was no reason for me to think that I was going to be all right, but I felt I could trust this man. I wanted to believe what he was saying, so much that I was able to fall asleep in his arms.

 

-----

 

I had awoken in a soft, warm bed with the human at my side. He handed me a piece of fruit and I snatched and fed on it so greedily, that I was ashamed at myself. I was just so hungary that I didn't have manners on the back on my mind. Of course, he was very patient and let me feast until I couldn't eat any more.

 

I could barely remember those first two days, but there were words that I could never forget. They could warm my heart forever. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”

 

-----

 

Such a pleasant dream soon cleared to the reality of what had happened. The pain and the numbness were gone. For a moment, I thought I was back where I started, but I saw that I was in the presence of Master Vash. Without any expression on her face, she addressed me. “Good morning.”

 

I quickly leaned forward. “That nurse! Is she?”

 

“No. She’s not dead.” I sighed in great relief and fell back to the bed. “Her back was broken in two places. She will suffer the consequences of your actions for the next few days. You were lucky she wasn’t paralyzed... or worse. What happened there?”

 

I didn’t look at her. “She was... handling my lekku. It felt very much like being on Sleheyron again. I was naked, under a bright light, my body had been abused. When she removed the bandages from my lekku... it hurt. It was instinct for me to keep myself from being hurt again.”

 

“Well, your instincts almost killed her.”

 

I held my head in shame. “So what happens now?”

 

“That depends on you.”

 

I faced her, wanting a real answer. “What do you mean?”

 

“You can learn to control your instincts and act like a Jedi, or you can let them dominate your actions again.”

 

I buried my head in my hands. “I want to control my instincts... I try to control them... I don’t know if I ever will.”

 

“An honest answer.”

 

“Has Trevelyan returned? Does he know about this?”

 

“He’ll be arriving tomorrow. And no, he hasn’t been informed.” She took a pad out of her pocket and smiled as she handed it to me. “In the meantime, you’ll have to stay here for a few days. You’ve received 42 personal messages and I’m sure you’d like to read them.” She stood up to leave.

 

I grabbed the sleeve of her cloak. “One more thing... Master Zhar said that I was going to be promoted to Jedi knight. How does this...?”

 

She gave me a very sympathetic expression. “That’s yet to be determined. When you’re well enough, we will be debating your conduct during the mission. In the meantime, you’ve got some light reading.” She walked out of the room.

 

Although I was concerned with my promotion, I was more eager to look at the messages I received. I found Trevelyan’s name and was excited to hear from him.

 

-----

 

“Yuthura, I’ve received over a dozen messages regarding you in the last two days. If they are praising me for what you have done, then you must’ve been great. I knew you could do it! I hope you understand that as well.

Juhani told me how you kept your head about you even during extreme conditions. She also told me that you put the mission before yourself... and that you would have died had she and Nevski followed your orders. You should be proud of yourself. I don’t know how I should feel about what you did, but I’m glad that you’re all right. If you don’t believe me, ask Juhani about the message I sent her.

I also got a message from Master Kolchak. He really wants to see you. I don’t know why you have been avoiding him, but I wish you would put it behind you. Please do this, if not for him, then for yourself.

I was informed that you were badly injured. I wish I could be there for you, but all I could do at this time is hope you have a quick and painless recovery. I’ll be back within the week, so I will see you then. May the Force be with you.

 

-Trevelyan”

 

-----

 

I lowered the pad and wondered how he would have written it had he known about the incident afterwards. Would he have been concerned or disappointed?

 

I took a look at the list of messages and saw that I had a number from Master Kolchak over the last two weeks. He has been trying to contact me and I just kept brushing him out of my mind. Trevelyan was right: whatever my reasons, I should have put them behind me and see my old master. If might have given him some peace to see me again, I owe him at least that much.

 

I got myself out of bed and slowly stood up. I was very weak, but at least the pain was gone. My robe, lightsaber, and boots were on a chair across the room. I pulled them toward me and changed into them. I clipped my lightsaber to my belt and slowly walked out. I was not supposed to leave, but I’ve never been one to listen to the rules. Since I was not dying, I didn’t need to be there and I wasn’t going into action any time soon. I might as well have gotten out of their hair, or so the expression meant.

 

I had managed to sneak out without being seen, but I ran into Mission Vao and her wookie friend, Zalbar. “Yuthura? We were just coming to see you.”

 

I didn’t want to be held up by the two, so I honestly said “Visiting hours are over.”

 

“Trevelyan said you’d be off your feet for about a week. He thought you might like some company.”

 

“That’s very much appreciated, but I have somewhere I need to be.”

 

She gave me a frustrated look. “I suppose jedi don’t even get sick leave, do they?”

 

“I’m well enough, but thank-you.”

 

“Come on Big ‘Z.’ I suppose the Hero of Kuril is too busy for us.”

 

“Hero of Kuril?”

 

“Yeah. That’s what everyone’s calling you. Don’t tell me you haven’t heard.”

 

“Actually, I’ve been in a Kolto tank for the last two days.”

 

“Oh... well... you’re famous now.”

 

I laughed out loud and it hurt my new lung, but I didn’t show it. “I really do have to be somewhere. I’ll keep in touch.”

 

-----

 

I walked slowly through the temple and came across three Jedi that smiled and nodded at me. I didn't even know them, but one started a conversation with me. “Are you Master Yuthura?”

 

I chuckled a bit. “’Master Yuthura.’ Been a while since I’ve been called that.” I looked directly at the kid. “No, I’m not a master, or even a knight for that matter. Anyway, is there something you needed?”

 

“I was wondering what you’re planning to do in the near future.”

 

I didn’t want to be bothered by another with a pointless conversation, but I didn’t dismiss him. “If you want to follow... I’ll listen.” He started walking beside me. “I don’t know. I haven’t planned that far ahead. Why do you ask?”

 

“Have you considered taking a padawan?”

 

“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought.” I considered the idea for a moment. “One day, maybe.”

 

“If you did, would you be willing to consider taking me?”

 

I laughed and smiled at how ridiculous the request was. “You want to study under the Hero of Kuril?” I kept laughing.

 

He gave me a very serious look. “I would like to study under Yuthura Ban if she would have me.”

 

I stopped right there and looked at the boy. I've never been asked such a thing and didn’t expect anyone would. “Despite what you may have heard in the last few days, I would not be the best master to have. The truth is that I’m not a good example to follow. I’m flattered, but you should not put too much faith in me.”

 

“I’ve looked over your records and I really would prefer to learn from you over any other.”

 

I was flooded with emotions and didn’t know what to think. “Why me?”

 

“You are the only one who has ever served the dark side and turned away from it of her own accord. No one's ever done such a thing.”

 

I looked away and tried to answer. “I suppose no one is beyond redemption. The truth is that I was never a very good Sith. Most just want to take power for themselves. I joined for... other reasons.”

 

“Fighting slavery?” He asked.

 

“Yes, actually.” I smiled when I heard that he must really have handpicked me from a wide range of others. As much as I may enjoy training another, I knew that I wasn’t ready for it yet. I sighed, “I’m sorry but I can’t take on a padawan... I can barely take care of myself right now. I am flattered that you would want me of all the others, but you should choose someone else.” I kept walking, but stopped for a moment and looked back to see disappointment on his face. “I was glad to meet you padawan...”

 

“Ross Senegal.”

 

I turned back and kept walking down the Main Hall of the Enclave. It was from there that I could find an elevator to the upper levels. Master Kolchak’s quarters were a few floors above mine and it was likely that I could find him there that early in the day.

 

My heart rate was very high. The last time we spoke, I tried to kill him. What could I possibly have done or said that would change that? As I prepared to confront my guilt, I became engulfed by my memories... they consumed me.

 

-----

 

It had been three years since I escaped from Sleheyron. Despite my best efforts, the Jedi have abandoned me. They were never going to fight slavery. They wanted nothing more than to forgive the guilty, but I could not allow such cruelties to go unpunished. They said it was their duty to protect those who couldn’t defend themselves. If they wouldn’t do it, it was up to me.

 

I had no choice but to find another means to combat the wickedness of slavery. It seemed as though no one cared whether I lived or died. They were all glad to watch me go... all except one.

 

“Yuthura, please don’t go.”

 

“I’ve made my decision, Alfred. I’m not going to change it.”

 

“I know that you’ve been dealing with the Sith. The Council would understand. You can end this now and come back.”

 

“I’m doing what is right.”

 

“You’re turning your back on everything the Jedi stand for. How can you believe that is right?"

 

I turned to face him. “I didn’t turn my back on them. They've turned their backs on those they’ve sworn to protect. If the Jedi won’t do anything about it, then I will.”

 

“You suffer... I see it day by day. It was spawned on Sleheyron, but it feeds on your hate. If you go to the Sith, you’ll doom yourself to and endless cycle of death and destruction. The only way to end that cycle is through peace.”

 

I slowly shook my head. “There is no peace... not for me. I’m sorry.” I turned away from him again.

 

“Please... don’t do this! If you go to the sith, then I would have no choice but to stop you.”

 

I turned my head just enough for him to see a tear in my eye. “Please... just let me go.”

 

“I don’t want you to die! For the sake of the Force... don’t do this!” He grabbed me from behind and restrained me in his arms. “Please listen to me!”

 

“Get off of me!” I shrieked as a terrible rage swelled beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. It allowed me to break myself free of his grasp and throw him onto the ground. I grabbed my lightsaber and turned to strike him down, but he engaged his saber just before I could deliver the blow.

 

For several seconds, I swung my saber repeatedly as he was on his back deflecting the blows. His skills were enough to best my strength and throw me off balance long enough to get back on his feet. I was so enraged that he didn’t die... I just attacked him with all the anger I had restrained for three years. It felt so good to finally vent all my rage. I was almost glad to have an excuse to kill my own master.

 

The one who rescued me from that desolate planetoid... the one who believed in me when no one else would... my friend... my master... the only one who loved me... I had forgotten all of it. All that mattered was freeing myself from him and all that he represented.

 

I kept attacking with so much fury that I forgot to pace myself. Within a minute, I had exhausted my strength and could not sustain my attacks any longer. I started going on the defensive as he came back with a seemingly endless flurry of attacks and lances.

 

In desperation, I deflected his lance and spun myself to get between him and his sword of light. I didn’t expect him to drop his weapon and grab me from behind and lock his arms around so I couldn’t break free and pinned me to the ground. “For the love of god, Yuthura! Please!”

 

His plea didn’t matter to me. All I wanted was to be free of him, so I shot a Force wave, throwing him back several meters. I came at him again, but he threw me back with the same attack and I was knocked to the ground. Then he reached out and took hold of my neck with the Force, cutting off my breathing. It was such a strong hold that I was pulled to my feet and soon lifted off the ground. I was surprised that he would ever do such a thing, but I was suffocating. If I could have spoken, I would have pleaded for mercy, but it eventually came anyway.

 

I dropped to my hands and knees, gasping for breath. Somehow, I expected forgiveness, but as I looked into his eyes, something was gone. I never noticed it before, but he truly cared for me. It used to show every time he looked at me... the look was gone.

 

In a very sorrowful tone, he spoke his last words to me. “I tried to help you. I loved you more than my own life. I knew your experience from Sleheyron pained you and I tried to relieve you of it. I tried to show you peace, but you were more interested in revenge than freeing yourself of that pain. Since you have chosen to feed your anger, I will teach you no longer. If you wish to damn yourself, then know this: Omeesh didn’t break you... you’ve destroyed yourself."

 

He walked up to me and almost whispered to me. “You are a detestable creature. Something that I despise, but I will not kill you. Go now and follow your hatred if that is what you want. Go now... and be damned.” He turned around, picked up his lightsaber, and walked away... never looking back.

 

I was left alone in that field. The words he used perfectly carved up my soul and hurt me more than any device Omeesh used on his slaves. And when he left me, I had nothing left but my hate and anger. He could have just spared both our feelings and let me go, but he wanted to make my departure as painful as he could.

 

In the moment that followed, I said something to him... knowing he wasn't there to listen. "I will join the sith and I will show you just what I can do. From the ashes, a fire has been woken. My anger will burn across the galaxy and I will hunt down and destroy all who prey on the helpless. Let the slavers beware... for I will unleash hell upon them."

 

-----

 

As I thought upon that battle, I couldn’t escape that I had indeed become a monster. All he wanted was to save me from myself, but I wouldn’t listen. I just wanted to give in to my lust for revenge as if it would make my pain go away. He just wanted to ease me of that pain.

 

Alfred was not my master; he was like my father. He loved me as he would have his own child and I made him suffer because of it. He had every right to hate me and I didn’t want him to think he meant nothing to me... I just did what I thought was right. Now that I knew the truth, he at least deserved an explanation for what I did.

 

******Original Post******

 

My question to readers is this: Does the plot within the last chapter detract from the story? There are some pieces that I want in the story, but I really think the man on the monorail is unrealistic and weak. I think it should go, but if I get enough feedback or a suggestion for the chapter's plot, I'll leave it alone or change it.

 

What I wanted to portray in the chapter was that Yuthura stepped on other people's toes without giving it a second thought. By disregarding the customary robes, changing medical records, and using the mind trick to avoid responsibility... she gets under the skin of other jedi. Despite how wise she may seem, she remains far from an ideal jedi.

 

The whole vibrosword thing was so Yuthura could try to make herself appear bold and threatening to others. Despite being a jedi, she still wants to drive fear into the hearts of enemies and comes to see that the sword is just a pathetic attempt to make herself look more serious than she really was.

 

Anyway... If I get rid of the chapter, this was what I wanted to display.

[Rev7]

Well, to answer your question, I think it kinda detracts from the story. Honestly, when I read the chapter, I though,

 

"Why would Yuthura do something like this?! After all of the work that she has done...."

 

I just don't think that changing the medical records, the mind trick, and what not was really needed. That was more of what I was thinking about. The rest is fine, and think that it was a good thing that Yuthura actually got a new pair of clothes. After the chapter before this one, I don't think that this was the best thing to add in quite yet. I am in no way trying to say that this wasn't a good chapter, I just think that it might be a little bit out of place.

 

To me, you have already expressed that Yuthura is still very far away from being a 'perfect jedi', if there is even such a thing. You portrayed this well when she attacked the nurse.

 

I hope that my opinion matters, and that I wasn't harsh. If it comes across that I am, please, please forgive me because that is not my intention.

[Darth_Yuthura]

Here it is! At long last, Yuthura approaches her old master.

-----

When I was in front of his door, I struggled to knock, but he felt my presence and knew I was there. A few seconds later, the door slid open and we looked upon each other again. He has changed very little since the last time I saw him. My tattoos seemed to define a completely different person from the one that abandoned him five years ago.

For a long moment, we just stared at each other. I did not know if I could say anything that could ease his pain. Maybe everything that needed to be was already said. He took a deep breath and said his piece: “When I first heard that you had returned to Dantoinne... I didn’t know what to believe.”

 

I found that I didn’t know what to say... I just stood there for another long moment before I dared talk. “The last time we spoke, you said that you despised me... that I had destroyed myself. I returned kindness with hate.” I inhaled very nervously. “Why did you not kill me?”

 

He turned his head to the left and hesitated to answer. “I tried... but it was too painful for me. I knew that you were not acting out of malice, but out of desperation. I didn’t like what you had done, but I understood why you did it.”

 

I shook my head. “No. There is nothing worse than a monster who thinks she has a just cause... that’s what I had become. You had every right to detest me.” I lowered my head in guilt. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” I turned around and tried to withdraw from his sight.

 

He stepped into the hallway. “Wait. Where are you going?”

 

I turned around. “My presence must be a torment to you. I didn’t wish to force myself upon you.”

 

“Please, don’t leave.” He got in front of me and very gently placed his hands on my shoulders. He gestured toward the door. “Please come in.”

 

I was afraid to turn around and enter, but he had guided me towards his doorway and into his living room. I desperately wanted to leave, but I knew that I had to do this. If not for myself, then for one I had hurt so many years ago.

 

“When I first heard that you turned away from the sith... I didn’t know what to think. I wanted so much to believe that you had truly done it, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was just a ruse conjured by them. You were capable of such acts.”

 

I tilted my head in guilt and answered, “Yes.” I hesitated to ask, “What do you think of me now?”

 

He began to study my face, placed his hand on my forehead and moved his fingers along the interweaving of the tattoos. He felt the flesh along my cheek and under my neck. I didn’t know what to expect next. I was scared that I would wound him more deeply by coming back into his life than anything else. I closed my eyes and hoped that I wouldn’t hurt him. A moment later, he had me in his arms.

 

I was not fully healed, so I let out a painful groan. “Ribs! Watch the ribs!”

 

He quickly backed away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you... wait, they wouldn’t have discharged you from the medical ward in this condition.” I gave him my ‘innocent’ expression. He shook his head. “You still don’t listen to good advice... even when it’s in your own best interest.”

 

“I wanted to see you.”

 

He came up to me and gave a more gentle embrace with his arms on my shoulders and mine around his waist. We held on to each other for a long, tender moment and I started crying at how much I missed him. I didn’t want him to see me like this, but I couldn’t escape the guilt I felt for having hurt him so long ago. When we pulled away from each other, I saw that he was crying as well. It was embarrassing to see his weakness, but it truly felt good to know he missed me... that he worried about me.

 

“Master, I’m so sorry.”

 

He placed his hand under my neck and his forehead against mine. “I thought I lost you forever. You have no idea how much it means to see you again.”

 

I must have had a big, dumb, grin on my face, but I was so glad to see him again. “It’s good to be back after so long. There’s so much I wanted to tell you... I don’t know where to begin.”

 

-----

 

“We spoke for over an hour about a wide range of topics. I told him about many of my crimes while I was a sith. He told me about how hard it was to lose me. It pained me to hear him apologizing for failing me... it was me who failed him.

 

I learned that he had stopped training apprentices after losing me. Instead, he taught classes at the Couriscant Academy. It was terrible to know that I had such an effect on so many others when I left.

 

He also explained why he hasn't seen me since my return. Trevelyan believed that the best way for me to reintegrate with the jedi was to sit back and allow me to choose when I would deal with my past. It must have been hard for Alfred to watch me from a distance, not knowing if I would ever return to him. I regret that I didn't approach him sooner.

 

I spent most of my time apologizing for my sins. I explained that I had forgotten about the slavers, but was reminded by Trevelyan. “He made me realize that all I ever wanted was peace... to be free of the pain of my memories. When he made me see that, I knew my place was not with them.”

I sighed in embarrassment. “As for being free to do as I wished; I never felt more trapped on Sleheyron than I did on Korriban. I still don’t know why I never realized it.”

 

“The darkside is hard to see. You should be proud of yourself for turning away from it. I know that you have done terrible acts, but in the end, you saw what you had become and turned away from it.” He stared at me, displaying a proud smile. “I’m glad to have you back. Are there any others who you knew from before? Did you make contact with any friends from Dantoinne?”

 

“Few, but I don’t think they would call me ‘friend’ anymore. I’ve made some since I’ve been back. Most came through Trevelyan.”

 

“Can I ask a question?” He said.

 

I nodded.

 

“Why did you trust Trevelyan when you believed he was still a sith?”

 

“He... went to great lengths to reach out to me. When I looked at him, he reminded me of a time before I became a sith.” I smiled and chuckled. “In many ways, he reminded me of you. We soon became friends and I found him to be a great man. By the time he and I challenged Uthar, my sith master, we succeeded.” I took a deep breath and reluctantly continued. “But the code of the sith required that the strongest must rule and the weak must yield. I knew in my heart that Trevelyan was superior to me... I betrayed him.”

 

“How did he take it?”

 

“I think he expected it. He was more saddened than he was angry. When I was beaten, I begged him in the same way I did when we... and after sparing my life, he told me that it wasn’t too late.” My mind trailed off. “Those slaves still needed someone to fight for them. When he said that it could give me some peace, I understood what you tried to tell me so many years ago.”

 

He smiled in anticipation. “What was it?”

 

Tears began to stream from my eyes. “I didn’t leave the jedi because I wanted to fight slavery; I wanted to escape the pain of my memories.” I sighed. “The only way I could ever live with myself was to accept what had happened. No power would ever quench my thirst for revenge... the only way I had was to stop wanting it.”

 

He grinned when he heard me say that. “You’ve become wiser since then. I... have wondered if you would have done so well had I properly instructed you.”

 

“Please stop blaming yourself. It was your teachings that inevitably lead me back to the light... I simply refused to listen. It wasn’t until Trevelyan had beaten them into me that I learned. If he had an ounce of sense, he would have killed me a dozen times over.”

 

After another laugh, he continued. “Well, I’m glad your back. Because I have something that you left behind. And I never knew what to do with it.” He got out of his chair and walked into his bedroom.

 

I knew exactly what he was retrieving. To me, it had always been a tool with no sentimental value at all. I was almost hoping that it had remained on Dantoinne; it was built by someone else. It does not belong to me anymore.

 

He walked back into the living room with my old lightsaber wrapped in a cloth. He set it on the table in front of me and smiled with anticipation. I maintained a very solemn expression as I uncovered the weapon and examined it. I saw the scratches on the casing and remembered some of the specific events that caused the battle scars. I activated it; deploying the yellow blade of a sentinel. The feel of the weapon was not how I remembered.

 

I looked at my old master with the same solemn expression and he didn’t understand why I was like that. I suppose the saber didn’t reflect the person that holds it now. It was built by an angry, hate-filled child who had become a monster.

 

I deactivated the blade of light. “It’s not mine anymore. It belonged to someone too interested in dealing out death and punishment. That is not who I want to be.”

 

“Who you once were will always be part of who you are now. Please take it.”

 

“I don’t want it. It was what I used to attack you with. Besides, I have already built a new saber that reflects who I have become. If you give this to me, I’ll just throw it away.”

 

He sighed is disappointment. “Very well. I hope you change your mind. Until then, I’ll continue to hold onto it.” He wrapped it up and set it aside. Then he began thinking about something else. He faced me again, “I had once given you a necklace... I was wondering if you...”

 

I slowly moved my hand to the collar of my robe and pulled my most valued possession into view. It was a titanium chain with a small upari crystal suspended from it. This was the only possession I was allowed to have while among the order, but it was more than I ever had while I was a slave. It meant more to me than my lightsaber.

 

He grinned as it came into view. He held the crystal in his palm and was so happy to see it again. “I’m so glad that you kept it. I remember when I gave it to you... it meant so much for you to have this one treasure... you were satisfied to have nothing else because it was more than a slave could ever want. I feared you’d have thrown it away like you had your lightsaber.” He kept grinning, but it soon faded when he saw how saddened I appeared.

 

“When I was with the sith, I kept it, yes... but not for the reason you think.” I held the crystal in my hand. “This chain around me neck... was a chain that I chose to wear. The necklace was meant to remind me of the chains that the jedi tried to place around my neck. I used to value it like I would a slaver’s collar. And it reminded me that the jedi were no better than the slavers I wanted to fight... only the chains they used were of a different kind.”

 

Alfred was very hurt to hear that. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you thought of it in that way. You seemed to treasure it when I gave it to you.”

 

I held his hands. “I don’t think that way anymore... not even a little.” I gestured to the crystal. “This reminds me of the person who saved me and tried to ease the pain of a previous life. It reminds me of the sacrifice that you went through for me. I owe it to you and Trevelyan to become the best jedi I can.”

 

Alfred shook his head. “Don’t do this for me. This kind of commitment should only be done if it is what you want. If you simply feel that you are obligated to this path because of Revan or me, then you won’t be able to find peace.”

 

“But a jedi’s life is sacrifice. If I were doing this because I want to end slavery, how would that keep me from peace?”

 

“I was referring to guilt. If you were doing this because you feel guilty for betraying us, then you will have difficulty finding peace or serenity.”

 

“I think you are wrong about that. Guilt is a powerful motivator. It was what made me turn away from the darkside. It forces one to better herself.

“I can’t just forget everything that I’ve done; it wouldn’t be right. The only way I can live with myself is if I can make reparations for what I’ve done. If I don’t, then have I truly turned away from the sith?”

 

Alfred smiled and tried to embrace me again. I said, “Ribs...”

 

“That’s it. I’m you back to the medical facility.”

 

“I’m alright.” I replied.

 

“You can either go back to bed, or get back to work. This isn’t a holiday.”

 

“Come on. I just saved a planet. Doesn’t that deserve at least some time to myself?”

 

He gently pulled me into his arms and whispered into my ear. “It is good to have you back.”

 

“It would be even better if I could train under your guidance again.”

 

Alfred pulled himself away from me and put himself an arm’s length away. “Zhar is a much better instructor than I. It comforts me to know you are in his hands.”

 

I sighed in disappointment. “I will respect your wishes, but I would follow your wisdom with much more dedication than I would Zhar’s.”

 

“If I were retraining you, I would have to be just as harsh. I really would not like to go through all that again. Given what you’ve been through, you may grow to hate me again... I would rather that we could remain on speaking terms.”

 

I nodded and jokingly said, “So I can hate Zhar all I want and it won’t bother you?”

 

Alfred laughed out loud. “Try not to. I know he’s as arrogant as anyone, but he does know what he’s doing. Just pretend that you’re training under me again.”

 

“I’ll try, but I don’t think it’ll work.” We laughed at length before I heard the door chime.

 

“Enter.” The door slid open and Alfred welcomed his guest. “Beleyla! Please come in. Would you like a drink?”

 

“No, but you do have something that I want.” She stared at me with a fairly sharp frown.

 

“I’m on medical leave.” I stated.

 

“Which involves you being in the medical ward. I’m to take you back... now.”

 

I looked back with a ‘kinrath pup’ face. “I don’t want to be there. The medical staff doesn’t want me there. Everyone’s happy.”

 

She gave me a very serious stare to ensure I knew who was boss. Then, Alfred said, “Don’t worry. I’ll see to it that she returns to the ward. You can tell your superior that I will take care of that.”

 

She gave a nod. “Very well. You are responsible for her return.”

 

As she turned to leave, Alfred said “I’m sorry about Dantoinne. I know about your master.”

 

She gave a slight nod. She then looked at both of us and likely held hard feelings that we were together and she didn’t have her master. “Thank-you. Although I have strong reservations for her, I’m glad that she is with you again.”

 

I tried to defend myself. “It wasn’t personal, Beleya. I just did what I thought was right...”

 

“Save it. What I think doesn’t matter. You’ve been forgiven and I have to live with that.” She turned away to leave the room.

 

“What was that about?” Alfred asked.

 

“She doesn’t think I should have been forgiven for teaching the sith on Korriban. She also had problems with anger, but has always done what was necessary to restrain it. She thinks I always had things too easy among the jedi and... I don’t want to discuss it further.”

 

He nodded. “Well you heard what she said. I’m taking you back to the ward.”

 

“Master, please... I don’t want to lay around all day. Can’t I...”

 

“I’m now responsible for your return. If you don’t comply, I will face the consequences.” He stated.

 

“What’s the catch?”

 

“No catch. You return of your own free will and stay in the ward until you’ve fully recovered.”

 

“And you’ll be there with me?”

 

He shook his head almost proudly. “I’ve got classes to teach. Once I’m done with them, then I’ll visit you. Until that time... catch up on your studies.” He stopped in his doorway and pointed a finger at me. “You’re in enough trouble with the medical staff as it is. Don’t make it worse.”

 

-----Original message------

 

Brace for impact. Yuthura is currently in the eye of a hurricane. She's about to go head to head with Atris. How this ends... only the author knows.

 

I asked... didn't I? I do take criticism very seriously because I need to know what is wrong in order to correct it. My spin on this revolves around Yuthura becoming prideful because she just saved half a planet. In the next chapter, that pride will be shattered.

 

I actually would like to know reader's opinion's at this point. Her situation is this: She is 'protected' by Revan, She just saved half a planet from being destroyed, other jedi are starting to respect her.

 

She also has a promotion in debate for jedi knight and she attacked a nurse.

 

Do you believe that Yuthura would come across as prideful, or would she be too scared to step on anyone's toes?

 

 

I appreciate the criticism I have already received and will take it to heart.

[Darth_Yuthura]

This Chapter is quite pointless. If anyone would insist that it be removed or changed, I'll do that. I just wanted to show that Yuthura has a nature for disregarding the finer aspects of the jedi because they don't significantly affect others. I also wanted to bring a few more things into the light for the next two or three chapters.

-----

 

I’ve never been one to keep promises. I did exactly as I was instructed and returned to the medical ward... I just didn’t decide to stay. After I hacked into a computer terminal, I changed the logs to indicate that I already spent six days there and could leave whenever I wanted. I almost marveled at my disobedience for very minor issues.

 

I walked out of the recovery room and logged out properly. One of the nurses that sedated me noticed that I was leaving early, but she didn’t object to my departure. They must have figured that I was only hurting myself, so they cleared me.

 

I rarely go through vast marketplaces to look at useless junk that I’ll never buy, but I rather enjoy watching commerce in action. These people aren’t beyond the need for physical possessions and revolve around the credit. Although most people are interested in wasting their money there, I was more interested in finding something worth buying. For a jedi, that is restricted to little more than basic necessities, tools, or weapons.

 

I was still wearing Trevelyan’s black robe and I figured that I needed something... different. I wasn’t one for robes and really wanted some cloths that fit properly, so I took a little trip to a local marketing center. I needed something that would allow me to be less conspicuous while taking advantage of my twi’lek charm.

 

They say cloths make the man... I hope that also applies to woman. I never really thought about it, but I’ve never been able to dress myself in all my life. On Sleheyron, I wore what Omeesh found aesthetically pleasing. I followed jedi tradition and wore their dull, brown robes. Then I wore that unflattering gray sith uniform. Maybe if I got myself some cloths of my choice, it would make me feel more like my own person.

 

After searching various businesses, I found my new look: a silver and black Twi’lek garment that could be fitted with light armor plates. The entire ensemble was casual for a twi’lek, but a bit revealing for some species. The top exposed my midriff, but it would completely cover my arms and shoulders with a flame-resistant nylon fabric. I also got a new headband that could cover some of the tattoos on my forehead. It also had more decorative ribbons that laced around my lekku.

 

On top of the ensemble was a pair of light gauntlets equipped with collapsible greaves. The boots were made of military grade light fiber armor. I also purchased a small vibrosword with a sheath that I could strap across my back. This was purely decorative, but a solid blade often can be very intimidating to opponents.

 

I the mirror, I didn’t look much like myself. I did like how I could actually see Alfred’s necklace for once. The outfit served its purposes, but it also made me more attractive to the ‘stronger’ sex. I always had a power over men... although I would opt not to use it, I shouldn’t ignore it. Total for my new look: 590 credits... courtesy of the jedi.

 

When I had what I needed, I took the monorail back to the enclave. Simply walking around seemed different than before... everyone who recognize my tattoos keep their distance, but there some individuals that don’t know when to stay away. I encountered one on my way back.

 

“How can a sith walk around these parts?”

 

“I have as much right to be here as you.” I replied.

 

“Just as you had to right to invade the Republic? You should all be imprisoned for what you’ve done.”

 

I turned my back on the human male. “I’m not a sith anymore.”

 

“Because your retched empire was shattered? Just do what’s in your own interests?”

 

“I don’t want any trouble.”

 

“You destroyed my home... Taris and for what? You ******* selfish, planet-grabing, empire-building freaks!” He grabbed my vibroblade from its sheath and attacked me. I dodged the blow, but fell to the deck. He then tried to deliver a killing blow, but I deflected it with my right foot and the sword clashed against the wall.

 

To end the fight, I wrapped my feet around his legs and tripped him up. The blade went flying towards the crowd, but I snagged it with the force and brought it back to my hand. Then I leveled the tip at his neck. “I’m not a sith anymore. If I were you would be dead now. I just want you to leave me alone.”

 

“That’s all we ever wanted, but the sith murdered everyone on my planet. Why do you deserve any better?”

 

For some reason, I felt I had to help this man. He wasn’t cruel... just isolated and alone with a great pain in his heart. I sheathed my sword and extended my hand to him. After a moment of staring at it, he accepted. Then I asked, “Did you have family on Taris?”

 

“A wife, my mother, a sister... murdered.”

 

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

 

“Sorry? What good is ‘sorry’?”

 

“I know the pain of loss that you must suffer. I know what it’s like to hate someone with every fiber of your being. You may think that revenge would make that pain go away... nothing will. It’s best to recognize that it’s not revenge you seek, but escape from that pain. I know it’s easy for others to tell you that, but anger and hate only makes it more difficult to think of anything else.”

 

He looked at me with respect. “Why are you doing this? I just tried to kill you.”

 

“I admit that I don’t take kindly to that, but I think I understand why you did it. I don’t hold any anger towards you... I wish you peace.”

 

He saw my lightsaber and gave me an unusual smile. “You’re a jedi... aren’t you?”

 

“No. But I’m trying to live up to their example.”

 

Just then, two security guards approached us. “Were you just using that?” Referring to the sword.

 

The man tried to explain, but I cut him off. “He wanted to see my vibrosword and I was a bit clumsy with it. No one was hurt.”

 

He looked at us, unconvinced. “Alright, but weapons are not permitted on the monorail. I’ll have to take that and you must pay a fine.”

 

I looked at the guard, confused. “Fine?”

 

“Possession of a lethal weapon bears a 250 credit fine.”

 

I used the mind trick on him. “I already paid the fine.”

 

“Uh... yeah. You must have. Just don’t cause anymore trouble. Good day.”

 

“Officer.” I smiled at how much I surpass all those around me. I love being able to tinker with weak minded fools. Then when I looked at myself in the window, I started to wonder if it was alright for me to misbehave as I have or if the Order expects more from me. I knew that I shouldn’t be allowed to get away with carrying a vibroblade.

 

The man kept staring in awe. “You are a jedi. I’m sorry I tried to...”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” I faced him. “Try to let go of your anger. I know it’s not easy, but the last thing you would want is to feed the emotions that cause you such pain. It was anger that lead me to the sith... and many others suffered because of it.”

 

The monorail came to my stop and I exited the train. I turned back to see the man watching me as he disappeared from sight. I hope that I had some impact on him... I helped the ones that destroyed his life. I truly did nothing for him, but for reasons I couldn’t explain, I carried my head high for the rest of that day.

 

-----

 

When I got back to the enclave, I was greeted by Master Kolchak at the front entrance. “I suppose I shouldn’t trust you again.”

 

I gave a very prideful smile. “I was released by the medical staff. They said I was fit enough to leave.”

 

“Well... since you are ‘well enough’ to return to duty, Master Atris would like an audience with you.”

 

“When?”

 

“Sometime before the end of the day.” He looked at my outfit... although he didn’t have any of those thoughts on his mind, he was attracted. He stared at my midriff. “How far do those tattoos go anyway?”

 

“Head to toe.”

 

Then his eyes caught what was on my back. “What’s with the vibroblade?”

 

I pulled it out of the sheath and held it out. “Purely for aesthetics. I just think that the sight of one of these is enough to scare enemies before the need to attack.”

 

He shook his head. “A lightsaber would be more than enough. Besides, you’d find that a vibrosword is too cumbersome to carry with you all the time.”

 

I waved the sword in front and looked at my reflection on the blade before sheathing and holding it at my side. “Waste of credits.” We started walking into the enclave and through the main hall. “I got into a fight with someone who’s home was destroyed by the sith.”

 

“What kind of fight?”

 

“He tried to kill me.”

 

Alfred looked at my, startled. “How did it end?”

 

“No one was hurt. I gave him some words of wisdom, but I don’t know if it mattered. He believed I was a jedi.”

 

“That could mean a lot to someone. You might have had a greater impact than you think.”

 

I shook my head. “A lifetime of pain and anger is not something you can forget in a conversation. I just did what I could... the rest is up to him.”

 

Alfred gave me a very sharp smile and chuckled in glee. “It’s Amazing. You are very much like you were five years ago... and yet, there is something more. I could not imagine that you were a sith only two months ago. Have you found peace since you’ve returned?”

 

I tilted my head and thought about that very basic question. “I’m... much more satisfied with the way things are than ever before. When I returned from Kuril, I thought the answer was yes... but after the accident afterwards. I’m not so sure.”

 

“It was instinctive. You shouldn’t feel as though you’ve failed.”

 

I stopped walking and turned to face Alfred. “I did fail. I almost killed an innocent woman because I couldn’t control my emotions. If that could happen when I’m not thinking about it, then I’m a threat to those around me.” I sighed in frustration. “I just wish I could be free of my memories from Sleheyron.”

 

Alfred looked at me for a long moment before he gave me a suggestion, “There may be a way. The Council has the means to ease painful memories in a very selective manner. If you were to ask it of them, they may...”

 

“A mind wipe?!” I asked in great fear.

 

“No. Instead of destroying an entire mind, the Council could target very specific memories and repress them. Those memories that have plagued your ability to find peace could be suppressed if you want it.”

 

I stood there in shock at what I was hearing. The very memories that I wished to be free of may finally be forgotten. Maybe it was the solution that I’ve always wanted. The very thought filled me with hope, yet scared me.

After sitting on one of the benches, Afred allowed me to collect my thoughts. I lifted my head to face him. “What do you think?”

 

“I would advise against it. Once memories are gone, retrieving them is almost impossible. I only say it because your experiences have been so extreme that you may want to consider this.”

 

I leaned my head back and spoke my thoughts out loud. “Free of my memories? It’s like a prison that I could never escape.” I brought my eyes back on Alfred. “That is something I’ve wanted all my life... but now? I don’t know if I should.”

 

“It’s a significant choice and one that should not be made without extreme consideration. I am only letting you know that you have that option.”

 

“Do you think I should?”

 

He shook his head very gently. “Only you must decide. I would prefer that you not, but if you must... I’ll support your choice.”

[Rev7]

Wow, Atris is truly evil! You captured that very well. I think that Yuthura did the right thing though, even if it was what Atris wanted. Great chapter, IMO. I think that you captured the situation very well! Keep up that great work!

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

QFT. Atris was captured very well. I'm only dissappointed that she didnt lose her head. Always hated her. This is a moving chapter, and I hope Yuthura gets off the hook. She was doing much better until Atris stepped in. Oh, I hope Atris gets whats coming to her!

 

As to chapter 15 - I enjoyed the reading but it does destract from the point of the story. But it does show her pride well. I like this story alot because Yuthura is not that stereotypical do gooder character. She has faults but her intentions are good. As Rev said I think this is a little out of place, but I totally understand the mind trick and all that. I honestly think that Yuthura will never quite follow the code to a tee and she will from time to time commit minor infractions.

 

As to being prideful or stepping on toes: I think you portrayed it as I would. She would try to avoid stepping on toes, but when insulted and challenged, she would not back down. She asserted her individuality (with the clothes) but in a way nobody but bi- ehem...witches like Atris would object. You showed this quite well in "Enter Atris." Also, a suggestion: I think that Yuthura should pay a visit to the nurse she hurt, as this would really show her desire to do good. I know this is hard now b/c she is confined to the med bay and all that but maybe a little later. Just a suggestion.

 

Poor Yuthura, I feel so bad for her right now.

 

~HOP

[Darth_Yuthura]

I’ve never personally spoken to Council Member Atris before, but I've heard that she had an arrogance that put even Master Vrook to shame. I had very little desire to speak with her, but there was no way around it. Although I could remind myself that her opinion of me was irrelevant, she had authority and I did not. She also had a means to influence my fate.

 

I looked over her records once and I was most unimpressed with her 'accomplishments'. On the surface, she seemed like an ideal Jedi, but she was so committed to the code that she seemed to ignore everything that made it work... at least it’s what I’ve been told by some. I also knew that when it came to opposing her... things either went her way or they didn’t go at all. I didn't understand how she of all people could become a lifetime Council member... she didn't do anything to earn such an honor.

 

-----

 

I had prepared myself to swallow whatever she was going to say to me. As much as I didn’t like being addressed and treated as a ‘sith,’ it didn’t matter what she thought or said. So long as Trevelyan supported me and I maintained some solid foundation with the other Council members, I would be fine. Still, that meeting was likely going to push my emotional controls to their limits... hopefully not beyond.

 

Atris had an office deep within the enclave near one of the training facilities. There was a window where she could gaze upon padewans as they practiced under her supervision. I was informed that she was working there for the rest of the day, so I confronted her. “You summoned me.”

 

She looked up from her desk. “You’re not wearing the traditional robes of a Jedi. You keep saying that you wish to be a part of this society, yet you disregard the most basic responsibilities. How do you expect to be taken seriously?”

 

“It's only a minor thing. What’s important is that I behave like a Jedi whenever it truly matters.”

 

She took her eyes off me and looked down at her data pad. “Even then, you do not.”

 

“Excuse me?” I said in a disrespectful manner.

 

She picked up the pad and stood up from her seat. ”I’ve been going over your mission report. According to you and your crew... you willingly seduced yourself to the Darkside while you were on Kuril.”

 

I crossed my arms. “Seduced? You mean when I was trying to land the ship without power?”

 

“You tapped into the darkside. That is forbidden, especially to padawans.”

 

“I had to in order for our ship to slip through their sensors undetected. There was no other way I could do it.”

 

She gave me a smug look. “So you admit it?”

 

“I had no choice. The only way to get through the enemy sensors was to suspend the ship with the Force. I knew I could do it, but only through extreme anger could I muster what we needed. I did what was most prudent.”

 

“Prudent?!” She slammed the pad on her desk. “You defiled the Jedi code you are supposed to live by with such... acts! You claim you want to be a jedi, yet you defied everything we stand for. What’s worse is that you make excuses for it!”

 

I stepped right in front of her. “We had a mission to accomplish. I did what had to be done for it to succeed. If I hadn’t...”

 

She put her face within centimeters of mine and screamed. “You surrendered yourself to the darkside long before that! It doesn’t matter why you did it, this is not the first time it’s happened. The fact that you are here trying to avoid responsibility proves it.”

 

“Proves what? You gave me a mission and you gave me command. I completed it to the best of my abilities. What would you have done were you in my position?”

 

She released a disgusted sigh. “I certainly wouldn’t have surrendered myself to the darkside. I would have had the discipline and training to do the job properly.”

 

“Well, I didn’t have that luxury. I couldn’t do what was necessary without my anger and hate. If you had to choose to follow the Jedi code to the letter or reinterpret it as you see the need to...?”

 

“Don’t speak to me about the code! I’ve followed it my whole life while you’ve corrupted hundreds with your... Sith teachings. Once you’ve tapped the Darkside, you are always corrupted by it.” She pointed her finger at me. “Don’t think for a moment that you acted like a Jedi after going against everything we stand for.”

 

I was getting tired of all her false accusations. I was becoming visibly angry and I knew it. “If I hadn’t, half of Kuril would have been destroyed. If I refused to do what was needed, I would have disregarded everything that you claim to hold dear. I WILL NOT be judged by you in this manner!”

 

She stepped back and gave me a pitiful look. “Can’t you even see how extreme your anger is? That’s exactly what one would expect from a Sith. ”

 

As much as I hated her, Atris was right about my anger. I had to be stoic despite whatever she said. Despite every urge to make her know she was wrong, I continued to restrain my anger. “Do you think that I wanted to go through that? It pained me every time I had to relive memories that I wanted so much to forget. I took no joy in doing what I did. The only one who suffered from this was me. You don’t have the right to do this.”

 

“And if you aren’t hesitant to do the same thing again, how many others will suffer because of your uncontrollable rage?”

 

I shouted, “Are you dense?! No one else has suffered because of my actions! Ask anyone else and they’ll tell you the same thing!”

 

“I’m not asking anyone else. I’m asking you.”

 

I released a disgusted growl and turned away from her. “That’s it! I don’t care what you do... I am not answering any more questions!”

 

“By all means, leave! We don’t want your kind here. You were foolish to think that you could make it here.”

 

I don’t know why I didn’t just walk out, but something was holding me there. Her words were exactly what I thought every day since I’ve been here. I wondered if I could truly accept or be accepted by the others. I was so mortified that I stood perfectly still for a long moment before Atris began to walk around me.

 

“Do you think that a whore would ever have stood a chance among the Sith? A usurper? A traitor? Those are not qualities...”

 

“Stop it!” I shrieked.

 

She chuckled. “Look at you. You can barely hold yourself together. I can sense the fear within you... I thought a Sith was void of that.”

 

“I... am not... a Sith.”

 

“Of course not. You couldn’t even take the easier path, so you came here because no one else would accept you. Do you think that by abandoning a dead belief and taking an even more difficult path that you would ever truly be a Jedi?” She got right in front of me and stared directly into my eyes with one of the coldest looks I’ve ever seen. “Right now... you want nothing more than to strike at me. If it’s what you want, then why don’t you act? Perhaps you...”

 

“Shut up!” I was terrified at what she had been saying. I was filled with such emotion, but I couldn’t let myself act. I was grasping my fists so tightly that I drew blood from my nails. I felt like my mind was tearing itself apart.

 

“Or what? You can’t attack me. Are you willing to admit that you aren’t a Jedi? You're just another failed Sith, but when you were supposed to fight and die by a better opponent, you were too cowardly to accept your rightful fate. If it weren’t for Revan, you would have...”

 

Upon hearing those last words, all my restraint had been shattered. Without thinking, I grabbed my lightsaber and brought a hard, downward strike upon Atris. Unfortunately, she was ready for my attack and deflected it to her right side. As my lightsaber came down, she attempted to take off my foot, but I did a barrel roll to dodge her attack. As I came back to my feet, I used another swing for her head, but she pulled back right before I made contact.

 

We then positioned ourselves for another attack, Atris began taunting me again. I could hear the satisfaction in her voice. “You see? You can’t control yourself. There is little reason to keep this up anymore. You let your anger dictate your actions and it always will. If you wish to surrender, you need not die.”

 

“Shut up!” I shrieked. A blast of electricity projected from my fingers, but Atris channeled it around her body without any harm to herself. Then next thing I knew, she took hold of me with the Force and threw me through her observation window.

 

I was in one of the training rooms where several padewans were practicing their lightsaber techniques. Although I managed to land on my feet, the impact from the fall caused tremendous pain in my left chest. I was so stupid to start a fight in my condition. The wounds from my injury have not had time to heal, so I was going to have to fight through the additional pain... or I could have just yielded and she wouldn’t kill me.

 

Shortly after I hit the floor, Atris jumped from the window like an avenging angel to slay a demon. Only this time... the demon was her, not me. I saw the bloodlust in her eyes and knew that she was not going to stop until one of us was dead. I unleashed a Force repulse and knocked her back in midair... making her hit the floor with a hard thud. I had landed on my feet, but my chest left me in great agony.

 

Just when I thought it had ended, the padewans had turned their focus from their training to me. I suppose that they would not allow Atris to die by my hand. Two of them jumped at me with their sabers blazing. I was careful to dodge their swings while trying to disarm this situation before it erupted.

 

I was desperate to end this. “Stop! This is not your fight!” My words had little impact on them as a third student came at me. I had swung my lighsaber hard at his with the intent to knock it out of his hand and it worked out as I also brought him to the floor.

 

I came to realize that I couldn’t get out of this situation by defending myself, so I threw away my lightsaber and got on my knees. A terrifying moment passed when I saw a lightsaber coming towards me before the student pulled back at the last second. I released a huge sigh of relief when I thought it was over, but I heard another saber behind me and I realized why that last student stopped. It was because Atris was coming at me again.

 

She had gotten to her feet and jumped at me again, despite the fact that I was unarmed and on my knees. I rolled out of the path of her white blade as it was driven into the floor right next to me, missing by only centimeters. I reached out for my saber and it was back in my hand just in time to stop another killing blow. Despite the pain from my ribs, I knew that it was better than being cut to pieces. Atris kept coming at me while the Padewans just kept out of the way.

 

She came at me with great fierceness and rapid attacks that were intended to kill me. I was completely on the defensive as my ribs made it unwise to strike at her. There was little I could do other than block her incoming attacks as best I could. I knew that it wasn’t going to stop, but I just couldn’t do anything but hold her off as long as I could.

 

Eventually, I was hit by a Force wave and thrown to the floor, as was Atris. It took me a moment to realize that Master Zhar had entered the training room. Despite the excruciating pain in my chest, I was desperate to kill Atris while she was on her back and without her weapon. When I lashed at her, Zhar had thrown himself on top of me and effectively pinned me down. His weight upon my ribs was excruciating and I shrieked in pain.

 

He didn’t realize that he was hurting me. He must have thought I was screaming because I was not able to kill Atris. “That’s enough! Restrain yourself!”

 

My shriek was soon recognized and he got off me. I then felt him rolling me onto my back in order to check my injury. I had my eyes closed and left whining from either the pain or embarrassment of this. Zhar turned to Atris. “What happened? What was this about?”

 

Atris was quick to answer. “She assaulted me. I was only defending myself.”

 

As I laid on the floor, I suddenly pulled myself up. “That’s a lie!” I screamed as I released another pained whine.

 

“She attacked me first. That she cannot deny.”

 

Zhar felt around my rib cage to find a new fracture. “You are a foolish girl. You just recovered from a severe injury and may have just made this worse.”

 

Atris stood over me and Zhar. “I demand she be expelled from the Order. She attacked me in anger with the intent to kill.”

 

I was in so much pain that I didn’t want to speak at all.

 

Zhar didn’t seem to get the point. “Yuthura, is this true?”

 

My eyes were still closed and I gave no answer one way or another. I just tried not to breath so hard. I thought a rib was pressed against my lung, so I couldn’t speak without it hurting more.

 

Zhar looked up. “Atris, return to your quarters. You will be confined there for the time being.”

 

“What?! She had just...” She objected.

 

“You’re not telling me the whole truth, Atris. Whatever has transpired here... we will know about it.” He then addressed one of the students. “Get a stretcher for her. She needs to be taken to the medical ward...” He turned his head in my direction. “...where she will be confined until further notice.”

[HIGH ON PIE 14]

Excellent Chapter DY! This was very insightful into Yuthura's feelings and I liked it a lot. As for Yuthura's memory wipe: This is a very interesting problem to have come up and I cant wait to see what happens next with it. I hope she makes the right choice. This whole story shows hard work and detication, something that I have trouble with when writing , so good for you. In short, this whole story = Awesomeness! As always, I am eagerly waiting for the next chapter.

 

~HOP

[Rev7]

I too hope that Yuthura makes the right decision. If she has her memory wiped, she won't remember who Alfred is. I think that would really hurt Alfred. Very suspenseful!

 

Other than that, I think that you did a very good job with this chapter. I am very glad that the Council made the decision to keep Yuthura in the Order. I hope that Atris is severly punished for what she did. Great Attachment!