M@RS Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I got this email, it's pretty funny For those of you who love the English language. We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.. English muffins weren't invented in England We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham. Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiE23 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I've got a better one: http://www.aristocratsjokes.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I got this email, it's pretty funny For those of you who love the English language. We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.. English muffins weren't invented in England We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham. Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnderWiggin Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Your image did not work, Jay. _EW_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiE23 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Your image did not work, Jay. _EW_ What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Yeah I'm not seeing it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 What about now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pie™ Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Why do I get the feeling this guy is about 14 years old? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Works now jmac, and it works splendidly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!! hey guys, i know a place where we can get inexpensive air jordans! i shall now post repeatedly about places to get said shoes, providing links which may or may not infest your computers with virus's why? shouldn't that be awesome? to weed out the impurities of the swamp if ya know what im saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!! hey guys, i know a place where we can get inexpensive air jordans! i shall now post repeatedly about places to get said shoes, providing links which may or may not infest your computers with virus's why? shouldn't that be awesome? to weed out the impurities of the swamp if ya know what im saying oh nice i need some new inexpensive air jordans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 oh nice i need some new inexpensive air jordans. come with my my friend also why we are at it, can i interest you in helping the prince of some weird ass country youve never heard of who has had all his money seized by some government due to some crazy scandal of his father or somthing aswell as cheap wang pills to please youre man/woman/apecritter and take these free movies that are still in theaters! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerd_Annhilator Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 HISS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 come with my my friend also why we are at it, can i interest you in helping the prince of some weird ass country youve never heard of who has had all his money seized by some government due to some crazy scandal of his father or somthing aswell as cheap wang pills to please youre man/woman/apecritter and take these free movies that are still in theaters! sweet bro my bank account needs to be emptied so that when the mpaa sues me for all those free movies that are still in theaters that are on my hard drive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kjølen Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Why do you make threads? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 WHAT THE CHRIST ANTHONY!?!?! THAT THING IS SCARY!!! scarily delicious /edit well kojo, he makes them cause he feels inadequate if he doesn't inadequate as a man-ape gone wrong thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Det. Bart Lasiter Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Why do you make threads?good sir this thread is comedy gold and i move for it to be stickied. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M@RS Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 Because I can make threads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerd_Annhilator Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dath Maximus Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 stop using smileys, they only increase my rage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Because I can make threads Someone needs to fix this, stat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M@RS Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 Here then... ____________________________ Is that better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BongoBob Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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