[fic] Survivour

[knight 12167]

Hello everyone this is a story about a Jedi that survived Order 66.

 

Please enjoy and review if possible!

 

 

 

The tale of Jason Bluebender a survivor of Order 66

 

Dantoine

Day 4380

 

I am a survivor. I always have been and always will. Once I was one of the most famous Jedi around until those bloody troopers tore the whole order apart. While I am writing this it is approximately 12 years to this day that Order 66 was issued and ever since then my life has turned from one of pride to fear.

 

 

What I remember was that the attack on the great home of all of the Jedi Knights ended so quickly. Only the mature knights and masters had enough sense to take arms against the murdering clones. The younglings and small padawan’s all cowered in there quarters hoping that it was all a horrible nightmare until they were all slaughtered like pigs instead of the great protectors they would become if they had matured in the force. Before I continue on with this rant about the slaughter of the Jedi I should probably tell you where I am 12 years after these series of horrible events occurred. At the moment I am on Dantoine, a farmhand for a poor old farmer who doesn’t have enough credits to buy good working droids .I live in a hill, literally just like a hobbit from the old Coruscanti tales. It’s a small house with a living room and a bedroom. Being underground makes me feel warm and comfortable but I do not wish to expand the house for fear of being discovered by the Imperials.

 

It’s a cold night tonight and the wind carries the cries of the kath hounds. I am going to make this data pad a personal journal of the event preceding Order 66 so in the slightest chance that the Jedi live to fight again they will know exactly what happened to the old order.

 

 

 

 

 

Operation Knightfall

Day 1

 

 

 

I was 25 when it all started. I remembered that I first heard shots at about 9 o’clock local time. Suspicious I followed my ears from my quarters to the jedi archives which were at the time the greatest collection of knowledge in the whole galaxy.

 

What I saw haunts me to this day. There were dead Jedi everywhere. I saw my good friend Ben Moonson being shot at repeatedly by clone troopers. Years of combat in the outer rim against the droid army kicked in. I activated my blue unique light saber.

 

It was unique because I had built it so it could shoot a beam of deadly power out of the tip of the blue blade. I had discovered this power from a trip to the planet Egonia to view the local people’s ancient drawings of old Jedi. I found detailed hieroglyphics that explained how to construct a light saber that could shoot out a beam of deadly energy out of the tip.

 

I had suggested that it should be essential for all Jedi to have this built into their light sabers yet the council was not very combat orientated at the time so they had refused my suggestion but they let me build it into my own weapon. You must remember that at the time I had discovered this new power I was but a padawan being taught by the famous Cin Dralig. At that particular time hardly any jedi even knew about the Trade Federation and its threat so the council thought it would make Jedi seem more like soldiers than protectors. The reason was that I was at the temple in the first place was that the council was going to have a debate on the topic of Jedi weapons and I wanted to be present.

 

 

 

Anyway back to the point I leapt at the clones slicing and cutting my way through these armored menaces. I would have continued if it had not been for Skywalker. A particularly sneaky clone had just snuck up behind Ben and was raising his rifle to shoot my friend. With a cry I leapt into the air just managing to hit the speeding blast of deadly light back into the clones head. Ben turned to me and nodded thanks. Unfortunately that nod would end in his imminent death. Sywalker jumped from one of the upper levels of the library directly in front of my friend Ben. Reacting quickly that traitorous rat bag of a Jedi stabbed Ben directly through the heart. I recall giving a scream of rage and sorrow for the friend that had accompanied me throughout my childhood. I wanted to leap at Sywalker to avenge my friend but I knew that would be suicide because of the tight circle of clones around him that were beginning to form. There were only three Jedi left alive in the library along with me. All of us were pinned down at the doorway attempting to block all of the deadly blasts.

 

Anyway I knew one of the 3 Jedi left in the library to be Master Tania, a famed Jedi consular that went on several different combat operations throughout the galaxy. She looked at me with her calm blue eyes; her black hair bound in a tight bun not a hair out of place. “Do not let me make a sacrifice in vain.” As quick as a flash she had force pushed me along with the 2 other Jedi out of the door. I imagine she leapt up a floor of the library and activated the temple lockdown protocol by using a nearby computer terminal. This therefore put an impregnable shield around the door we had just been flung through. I began to hear a wailing siren while a couple of Jedi snipers emerged from there nearby training room fully armored obviously halfway through a late night training session.

 

 

I have had enough storytelling tonight. These memories pain me and I tire after a hard day planting crops in the fields. Prehaps tomorrow night. For now sleep beckons.

[knight 12167]

Even though I have requested a review you may still post your own personal review of this fic

 

Thx everyone

[Astor]

It's interesting, but there's a few things -

 

It should be Coruscanti, not Corucanti.

 

And I wasn't aware there were hobbits in Star Wars?

 

Try to avoid using 'anyway' to start a sentence. It sounds less like a story and more like a conversation with it starting a sentence like that.

 

There's a few little grammatical and spelling mistakes that i'm sure you'll pick up if you read it through - there's a few full stops the wrong way round (a space and then the full stop, as opposed to the full stop and then a space).

 

Remember, proof-read thoroughly when you finish to pick up those little mistakes.

 

Also, I have an issue with the character mentioning Order 66 by name. I don't think that any Jedi survivors knew what the codenames were, as they were top secret.

 

Other than that, it looks interesting, and I look forward to seeing the next part.

[Endorenna]

Interesting. However, there are several periods and commas missing, as well as a few spelling mistakes. A beta reader could probably take care of those problems. Also, I would advise finding a different last name for your character, preferably one that doesn't start with 'Star'.

 

Lastly, are there any hobbits in Star Wars?

[knight 12167]

I have this belief that corucant is in fact a evolved version of earth.Thankyou for the comments.I would just like to say that this paticular jedi will learn about order 66 later on in the story.

 

Thanks for the comments

[JediMaster12]

Pretty much what the others have said regarding spelling and grammar. Employing the beta is good being that it gives a fresh perspective.

 

Also I mentioned in another fic of yours that you embellish a little more, especially since you are writing in the first person. First person narrative is a difficult tense and you have to make certain adjustments and allowances. I learned that the hard way with Heart of the Guardian.

In first person, it really gives you a chance to give description to things that will come from a personal view. You can describe mundane life of a Jedi or something like that. You are given a bit more freedom but I admit it is a difficult tense to write for. However practice makes perfect or rather practice makes better. Keep working on it and allow yourself to imagine. Describe how the character feels, etc. It will make for a great story.

[knight 12167]

I will try to be more descriptive........................

 

Plus what does Beta mean

[JediMaster12]

A beta reader is the same thing as a proofreader. They check your work for clarity, spelling, grammar, things you may have missed on your last look through. There is a beta reader thread in the Resource Center.

[knight 12167]

Today the farm was attacked by Kath Hounds. They stormed the crops from the cover of the grassy hills that infested Dantoine .I very nearly had to activate my light saber to deal with the crazed Kath Hounds.I knew if a did it would cost and imperial soldier a grog and all the gossip will be going around. From the peace of my home I knew from the blood red eyes and slobbering mouth that I would have been dead if it was not for a nearby patrolling militia that was handy with a snipe rifle.

 

I also saw a Star Destroyer pass over my house earlier tonight so I fear I will wake up with a blaster to my head. I fear sleep so tonight’s story will be longer than the last.

 

 

Day 1

Operation Knightfall

 

I had a nanosecond of silence in respect for Master Tania but yet again I knew her sacrifice would not mean much if I didn’t warn everyone of the impending attack. Quickly I explained to the jedi snipers of the situation. They volunteered to stay behind to slow down Skywalker while I would go to the council chambers to warn the Jedi’s greatest of the impending attack. Just as I saw that sith rat use a charged ball of force to brake through the door I jumped down a level and began to sprint towards the council chamber staircase. I wanted to stay and fight Skywalker with the jedi snipers under the statue of Queen Talia, a deceased queen of Onderon who proved loyal to the jedi during the first jedi purge several thousand years ago. I snapped myself out of thinking of long dead Onderonian queens and began thinking about what was happening now. Quickly I realized

History would be made if I didn’t hurry up.

 

I remember passing the youngling quarters, screaming orders that their tired young brains could not possibly comprehend. After that I passed the great hall of jedi heroes. I glanced quickly at the huge statue of a hunched figure wearing a vastly magnified cloak and hood. I knew it to be a statue of Revan, a sith dictator turned jedi who purged the galaxy of a sith threat a couple thousand years ago.

 

With a great effort I used he force to make me run up the vast staircase that lead towards the council Chamber.

 

I was too late. At the moment I entered through the thin doorway of the chambers Master Tinn a good friend of my master, Cin Dralig, was being attacked by some famed clone assassins. I had studied them from the jedi archives after bumping into one on Tattoine, who was obviously on a mission while I was only there because of repairs for my jedi star fighter after a lengthy dogfight over Cato Nemodia, I was escaping with plans for a droid prototype that could resist the attacks of a light saber.

 

My war tales are another story but I had discovered that the clone assassins were a group of elite clones tasked to assassinate various separatist leaders, along with the illustrious Count Dooku .They usually wore blue plated phase 2 clone amour, but the one’s attacking Master Tinn were using black cloaks so they the could blend into the shadows of the great temple. They had extendable viroblades attached to their shoulders and were using them against a weakened Master Tinn to great success.

 

I took one of the four assassins by surprise by shooting a beam of concentrated energy into the back of what looked by the most competent in the group .The experienced assassins reacted quickly. One of them continued to assault Master Tinn while the remaining two began to try to circle me. Following true jedi etiquette I let the clones attack first. They moved as one. I managed to strafe around their first attacks but then I was forced into a world of parries, strikes and one hell of a load of pain. They attacked as one and it was very difficult to avoid their strikes. A slice at the clones head was blocked easily. I swung my saber so fast it looked like a light show from the Theatre of Black Light, which was a theatre on Rycloth which was famous for attracting the rich and influential.

 

I knew the only way to defeat the scum would be through the force. I jumped backwards and pulled one of the clones towards me. He slid down my light saber with a groan. I threw him off in disgust. The enemy that was attacking Master Tinn fell to a critical strike not from me but from my jedi counterpart. Then I did something I had never expected to do in the whole of my life. I shot a great burst of lightning at the remaining clone. I continued to shoot out electricity until I was certain that he was dead. I turned to Master Tinn, quite pleased because I had just defeated a squad of the most powerful non jedi soldiers in the galaxy. I expected Master Tinn to be looking at me in horror because of the great sith power I had just used but instead he was lying in a heap in the centre of the chamber.

 

Gasping I quickly gave him one of the medpacs that I carried at all times. They were ancient medpacs filled with Kolto instead of the traditional Bacta. They were like this because I had read that most species in the galaxies were beginning to become resistant to bacta.I busied myself attempting to heal master Tinn but I knew I was clinging to a sinking boat as he had been stabbed directly through the stomach

 

“Save the younglings,” He said with a gasp.

 

Those were the last words of the great jedi veteran. He had died directly in the centre of the chamber, which was a place that several jedi had had their hopes shattered and restored. It was a fitting place for such a famed jedi to have died but it was under horrible circumstances.

 

I remember guiltily scavenging the medpacs, light sabers and credits from the master’s corpse. I then began to run down the huge stairway so I could honor Tinn’s final words. It was hard not to glace at the puddle of purple blood circulating around the chamber.

 

 

I will now try to go to the sleep. Tomorrow night I intend to finish with the beginning of the tale so I can try never to think of those horrible events ever again

 

 

 

Hope everyone is enjoying my fic:D:D:D

[Astor]

This is a good continuation, but again, there's some little grammar and spelling errors that have crept in. But that's aside from my other points:

 

Just as I saw that sith {snipped}

 

Excuse me? Firstly, a Jedi wouldn't use a word like that to describe his opponents, and secondly, it distracts from the actual story by having him call her such an offensive name.

 

Also, Jedi aren't usually in the habit of calling their enemies 'scum' either.

 

Other than those two issues, it's pretty good. The homage to Queen Talia was a nice touch, which added a bit of flavour to the description.

 

Keep it up!

[knight 12167]

Ill fix up the bad launguage

 

thx for the advice

 

p.s this jedi hasn't been a jedi for 12 years so he mmight have slipped ino un jedi habits

[JediMaster12]

OK this was better. There is a minor thing. It is break not brake, unless he was driving a speeder

Your description is getting better and I see you describing quite a bit more. You are taking the time to show us what the character is going through and that is good. Keep going.

[knight 12167]

I have sent my Fic to Endorrea for proof reading so it might take a while for the next post

 

 

 

That's fine. Post when you're ready -JM12

[knight 12167]

Nothing much happened today. I went to Khoonda and thanked the militia that saved me from the vicious kath hounds. After that, I went onto a deserted plain and began to practice my lightsaber combat. I felt as if my lightsaber had abandoned me. But this is just the life of a farming peasant on Dantooine. I'll continue on with the fall of the Jedi.

 

As I recall, a squadron of troops was climbing the stairs. By the time I was done with them , every one of their limbs was in pieces. When I got to the bottom of the stairs , I was immediately attacked. I used the Djem So form to deal with the traitorous murderers as I began to fight my way towards the Youngling quarters. I was rapidly tiring. My arms felt heavy as I cut my way through the white-armored troops. I arrived at the younglings’ quarters just as a group of engineers was setting a permacrete detonator onto the blast door that was protecting the children. I dealt with the engineers by force pushing them towards the detonator as it exploded. They were vaporized instantly. I rushed through the gaping hole in the blast door and yelled at the young padawans to quickly get the smallest of their possessionstogether. Ten seconds was all the time I could afford to give them to pack. As my sharp eyes darted over them, I saw that most of the younglings were 12, 13, or 14 at the most .

 

A fourteen year old boy passed me. I stopped him and asked urgently, “Where are the younger ones?”

 

The boy replied in a scared whisper, “They snuck off to the J edi Council chambers. I tried to stop them, but anything short of stunning them with a blaster couldn’t turn them! I think they expected the Council to protect them .”

 

I bowed my head for a moment in grief. The younglings were sure to be dead.

 

I began to hurry the padawans towards the door while simultaneously checking each bunk room for hiding younglings. I got all of the children out of their quarters, intending to herd them towards the hangar bay, where I would take them aboard my personal ship, [/color]“The Pacifist”. I ’m sure I would have succeeded if not for that traitor Skywalker! A slight hum and a hiss of air were the only thing that warned me of the attack. I dodged away from the strike that would’ve beheaded me if it weren’t for the Force’s powers. I turned and saw Skywalker , his hood pulled low over his eyes . Automatically, I switched to Atari’s aggressive stances. I Force Pushed my opponent down the hall into the padawan’s quarters. My hand flew out, and began to hurl bunks, bedside tables and holobooks at my enemy. For the first 10 seconds of the battle , he was deterred by the ferocity of my attacks. I didn’t have time to notice I was winning before the tide was turned. He leaped at me, attacking with such power I was forced down to my knees! I leapt back up, but not before Skywalker gave me a glancing cut on my left arm. It was a recurring battle after that. He swung left, right, up and down while I blocked and attempted to sneak in an attack. My stamina was plummeting as he forced me down the hall.

 

When I remember what happened next , I always end up laughing. Anakin had swung a strike so hard at my head that when I blocked it , I was driven to my knees. He used the Force to grab my lightsaber and formed an “X” with my neck in the middle. The traitor then began a speech about how the Jedi were feeble and weak. It was a classic speech . It would’ve fit into a holovid perfectly. I was growing tired of his long-winded oratory, but I decided not to interrupt . After all, one extra minute of life was an extra minute! By now, I knew that nothing could save me and death was imminent. Somehow, I’d accepted that for a fact. My mind wandered as the speech dragged on, and I began to wish that I would die more heroically than it presently seemed I would.

 

However, I had yet to learn how much can happen in a minute. I saw a human male youngling, possibly four years of age, carrying a Jedi security guard blaster. He snuck out from under a desk. He shook his blonde head and said in a calm, innocent voice, “I don’t like you.” He shot Skywalker directly in the head! The youngling was thrown backwards to the floor. I couldn’t believe it . A 4 year old had just destroyed one of the biggest threats to the galaxy ! You might be thinking it was far too good to be true , and oh, how right you are. While I was leaning against a bunk laughing my head off, Skywalker picked up his light saber and threw it at the youngling.

 

While deep in thought here in the peace of my home , I wonder what would’ve happened if the blaster hadn’t been set to stun . The poor child’s head rolled to the floor. Anakin got to his feet and glared at me with his yellow, bloodshot eyes as he said in a menacing tone, “You’re next, Jedi!”

 

I knew it was cowardly, but at that point, I ran. I pushed the child’s corpse into Skywalker , slowing him down just long enough for me to escape . Needless to say , I ran for my life. A minute later, I crashed into the group of padawans I had ‘rescued’, all running down a nearby corridor with their lightsabers activated. We all set out at a brisk run in the direction of the hangar, often encountering the occasional easily dispatchable lone clone trooper….......

[Bee Hoon]

What's kohenada? And I think you mean permacrete, not percamete;)

 

Practicing on a plain seems like a pretty big risk to me: an unobstructed view from all sides, plus a lightsaber which surely would stand out. Why does he have a personal ship? I'm also a bit ambivalent about the design of his lightsaber.

 

Mmm, there's still quite a lot of mistakes. For example->

 

viscous kath hounds

I believe you meant vicious. Viscous means having a sticky consistency;p

 

I was sure I would have succeeded if it was not for the traitorous Sywalker slight hum and a hiss of air were the only thing that warned me of the attack.

Did you mean to separate this into two sentences?

 

I leapt back up but not before Sywalker managed to give me a light scar to my left arm.

The way I understand it, lightsabers are definitely incapable of inflicting "light scars". It's meant to be a beam of pure energy--any contact would definitely cause burns (if you're very lucky, or deep wounds.

 

It was a recurring battle after that.

Recurring? :/

 

In the next paragraph, you abruptly addressed him as Vader. Has he announced his new title?

 

He used the force to grab my light saber and formed an “X” with my neck in the middle. He then began a speech about how the jedi were feeble and weak.

The description here is pretty rough. And why not just kill him?

 

t was a classic speech, as it would have fit into a holovid movie perfectly.

Now there's an interesting thought. Does the Star Wars universe have movies about Jedi and Sith?

 

Jedi reflexes! Skywalker allowing himself to be caught off guard, even with the child's warning?

 

While I was leaning against a bunk laughing my head off Sywalker picked up his light saber and threw it at the youngling.

Why didn't he attack Anakin at that moment?

 

“Your next jedi scum”.

"You're next, Jedi scum". Besides that, the word seems to be pretty popular

 

While deep in thought in the peace of my home I wonder what would have happened if the gun hadn’t been set to stun the poor child’s head rolled to the floor. Vader leapt up and said to me in a menacing voice.

In this sentence, you seem to jump from one time period to another. Clarification would be good.

 

I knew it was cowardly but at that point I ran. I pushed the child’s corpse at Skywalker which stunned him.

Was he next to the child's corpse? Why did it stun him? Why didn't Anakin just throw his lightsaber at him and kill him?

 

Even if you haven't managed to get someone to beta read it for you, you could always read, re-read and polish yourself in the meantime (which is what I used to do). Meanwhile, try to rationalize everything that happens. The whole Star Wars universe may be a suspension of disbelief, but we still expect it to work within certain rules. Do keep this in mind, and keep writing!

[knight 12167]

thanks for the review

 

I think there would be holovids about the jedi and sith.

 

 

Anikin was arrogant and wouldn't expect an attack from a small child

 

plus a lightsaber can cause a scar as ventress attacked and scarred anikins face with her lightsaber

 

thx again for the review

[Sabretooth]

Although I did not comment on it, I read your earlier discontinued fic, and it impressed me thoroughly. I am a little disappointed at seeing it discontinued, but this new fic is thankfully very good as well. I'm having a hard time deciding which one is better!

 

The number one thing I must comment on is that the story is very engrossing and flows beautifully. I love the settings and descriptions you provide in the fic, and the how the story unfurls as a story told by a Jedi in hiding. The approach is very welcoming and of course, readable.

 

The action is heated and original at the same time. I like how there's always something intriguing to look forward to, and was often surprised by the different ideas you invented in this; such a lightsaber that fires an energy beam, or a Jedi not using his lightsaber against kath hounds, or a padawan coming close to making history. All of these instances are spectacular and make the fic studded with innovation.

 

I also like the realistic light in which you depict the story, often referencing other characters and media, or the protagonist facing moral dilemmas, as opposed to being the usual all-powerful, all-good Jedi.

 

There is also a great balance between all-out action and reminiscence, thought or other slow parts. They fit in well with the frenetic pace of writing.

 

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic like the earlier one, and would encourage you to write more, because I'm sure as hell going to follow this. (Although I'd say I liked your first two chapters more than the latest one, but only a little bit).

 

As far as grammar and such, I'll say that breaking up some walls of text into smaller paragraphs will be good. Reading on the computer screen is a bit different from reading from a book, you know. And then there's us Generation Y with our sucky attention span.

 

Anyways, thanks and it's awesome.

[Bee Hoon]

I think there would be holovids about the jedi and sith.

 

 

Anikin was arrogant and wouldn't expect an attack from a small child

 

plus a lightsaber can cause a scar as ventress attacked and scarred anikins face with her lightsaber

Yeah, I think so too It just never occurred to me for some reason, and now the idea seems awesome!

 

Ooh, sorry, I'm not familiar with EU. Thanks for telling That's true, Anakin's just rather full of himself:/ Poor kid though

 

^^ Sabre's review is good. I must try to be like that more! Hope my nitpicking didn't bother you

[knight 12167]

Today I worked in the east fields. My hands are sore and aching but I have set up the data pad so it writes what I speak. Enjoy!

 

 

We continued on and on and on. Everyone in the group was exhausted, wanting to call for rest but resisting in a show of jedi-like valor. I took out surprised clones by shooting blue light at the general direction of their heads. Everything was going fine until “IT” happened. The things I am about to say I have played through my mind thousands of times trying to discover what I could possibly have done to save the young Jedi. It all happened in a flash. We had reached the corridor. I sneakily glanced through a small door way that led to the main hangar section. I noticed a group of unsuspecting clone engineers, who were attaching explosive to all the jedi craft. Luckily my ship the “Pacifist” was obviously being kept in one piece so the bantha fodder enemies could loot the collection of weapons and jedi artifacts I had recovered before the outbreak of the war.

 

I hastily did the unique jedi sign language in the direction of the battle ready Jedi. It was said in the archives that the language was used before modern technology destroyed the need to use it. Luckily all jedi were taught the language so they could silently communicate while holding negotiations or mapping out a plan silently. I could see that some of the young ones were looking at me in confusion. They were obviously not fluent.

 

 

 

 

I snuck through the small doorway. I was hoping the clones would be so immersed in there sabotage that I could silently take them out with the combat knives that I always wore in a sheath at my hip. As usual no such luck.

 

 

 

One of the men glanced up seeing me while I was hideously exposed in the hangar filled only with a couple of crates to use as cover.

 

 

This particular clone was a quick one and said

 

 

 

“Oh,”

 

 

He didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence as I had pulled him towards my freshly activated light saber, but I imagine the sentence wouldn’t have ended in “Dearie me,’

 

 

I might have been able to contain the situation if the young jedi hadn’t decided to make their appearance at that moment. One of the eldest, who I think was a green twilek male cried

 

 

“Death to the clones!”

 

They charged through the doorway as stupidly noisy as possible, blocking the occasional shot the engineers managed to sneak out before they were killed by the young Jedi.

There was one boy who had sense enough not to fight the clones but to use the force to dash into the cover of my ship. Unfortunately most of the jedi were in battle frenzy. This was brought on by one of the youngest in the group being killed in the quick skirmish. I began to call them towards my ship while I simultaneously covered all the exits. Alas I didn’t cover the huge hole in the wall that the ships went through to enter Corucant’s airspace.

 

In a flash of light a clone gunship appeared and fired missiles directly at all of us jedi in the hangar. I imagine one of the clones must have called up the cavalry before they were killed.

 

Those that survived the missiles by leaping away were then mowed down by the beam of energy that was generated from the gun turret attachment. I survived by hiding behind a stack of crates, praying to the force that a missile wouldn’t separate my head from my body. I foolishly believed that the gunship would simply float away. Once again I was wrong. Obviously the pilot was one of the Fett brand so he had the proficiency to activate the infra-red camera. I sensed through the force what would happen long before the trigger was pulled. It seemed the pilot had run out of missile ammo as instead he ordered the marksman at the turret to fire.

 

A beam of green light missed me by a whisker.

 

I then did what had happened in many a holovid. Using a great burst of strength I leapt up in to the gunship and accordingly began to slaughter every one aboard. I knew technically I should have given the unarmed pilot a chance to live but the clones had proved in their vicious attacks they were no better than their droid counterparts.

 

 

 

I was gifted with a massive clone gunship. I used it with brains rather than brawn or rather a mixture of the two. I hacked into the com computer and stored the information into a fresh data pad so I could find out exactly exactly what the clones had been up too. I jumped out of the gunship back into the hangar.

 

I then saw an opportunity and took it. I pushed the massive floating monstrosity with the force towards a patrolling clone transport. There was a gratifying crunch and an explosion.

 

I glanced briefly towards the poor young souls that lied dead against the cold metallic floor of the hangar. Most of them were just ash or horribly burnt and disfigured bodies. I was supposed to have saved them. I thought darkly that the clones might have shown mercy if I had left them in their quarters. I knew they would have been killed whatever I had done with them but I was still depressed.

 

The taste of victory had escaped and was replaced by a grim determination to rid the galaxy of the clone menace. I sprinted up the loading ramp of the ship and began to prime the engines in the cockpit. I took off quickly before another gunship turned up. I knew it wasn’t over yet………………………

 

 

 

Next chapter on the way tomorrow

 

thankyou all for ur reviews

[knight 12167]

Your critisizm is a great help.

 

keep it up

 

 

I think a holomovie would be a great oppertunity for a fic

 

Thanks for the posotive review sabre

 

I' might continue on with my old fic when i finish this one.It would also be great if someone told me how to put a link the the fic on my sig so more people get to read!

 

 

thx

 

well here it is

 

 

 

At first I thought I was home free. I considered staying on planet and finding some sort of safe house. I knew just the place. Just the week before the attack on the jedi I had busted a criminal gang that was selling a highly illegal load of weapons called the “Ark Caster” which was a weapon that shot electricity which could chain through a group of enemies. The criminal gang’s hideout was on one of the lowest levels of Corucant and it would be unlikely that the clones would venture to a place that was ridden with gangs that didn’t like the law. I shook the notion from my head believing I could head to some random planet and take shelter so this situation would blow itself over.

 

 

 

I was flying at a very, very large amount of speed. I only did not crash into a speeder carrying the nightlife because of my jedi reflexes.

 

 

 

My ship is a 2C11 luxury freighter package with turbo laser attachments. I had come into possession of the ship on a mission to Alderan where I saved an influential shipbuilder, building combat ships for the republic from being assassinated by the separatist threat. The shipbuilder was walking down the street towards the republic embassy to a conference with the military when the assassin struck. It was a simple assassin droid that fired the shot which I blocked easily.

 

That is another tale but I had grudgingly accepted the offer for the ship. Since then I had made many attachments. Most of them were booster attachments which made it one of the fastest ships in the galaxy second only to the Millennium Falcon which was currently owned by a rich Twilek senator. The Pacifist included a shower, a computer and a bunk room along with several other appliances. Needless to say I was very proud of my ship.

 

 

A blast and a rocking ship woke me from my fantasizing. I checked the backwards camera and discovered I was in pursuit, being followed by and Arc 100 republic star fighter which is the predecessor to the x wing. The class of star fighter chasing me was famous for its use by the 502nd clone pilot regiment. That regiment was famous for engaging the late General Grievous in a dogfight.

 

I cursed. The “Pacifist” was supposed to man by two people. One to drive and one to man the blaster cannon. There was a shot and an explosion. At first I thought I had been hit but my shields were still at maximum power. With a shock I realized someone was firing at my pursuers via the blaster cannon located on the top of my ship. It was strange and dangerous since it was such a populated area. Activating the cameras, my heart leapt to see that one of the younglings were alive and well while firing the cannon. A quick glance at the young jedi revealed he was a human male, about 12 years old .He had dark sort of skin and a tan from going on many field trips with master Yoda. He also had black hair and deep blue piercing eyes that shine like the sea. (Not Corucant's sea, as it is dark and polluted).However there was something quite strange about him. He had two blue leku attached to his head. I realized that he must be a cross breed between a human and a blue twilek from Rycloth.

 

 

I did a nosedive to stop a blast hitting the hyper drive exhaust. I couldn’t believe that the clones were firing in such a populated area. Although it was early morning all the nightlife and drunks were going back to their homes. Or their hover benches at the park. The chase continued. We entered the red light sector, which was famous for its nightclubs. I nearly crashed into the famous Eiffel tower. It was an ancient monument that had been built as a shrine by the natives of Corucant long, long ago.

 

 

I realized that if I didn’t get off Corucant’s streets some innocent citizen would be killed. Gently I began to ease the ship upwards. Dodging the speeders and ships was hard work and I was only running on the forces energy along with adrenaline. I took an energy stimulant out of storage container above the cockpit and slapped it on. When this was over I was going to have a huge coffee as I recall I had just brought some of the best beans from a market in the city. The beans were from the famed chocolate making sector of Coco.

 

 

I remember dodging several large skyscrapers and buses. A blast was fired and one of my pursuers was blasted to smithereens. In the confusion the other enemy burst into flame.

 

 

 

I left the atmosphere with a shudder and immediately went into hyperspace punching a random planets coordinates. I began heading towards……………..tomorrow.

[knight 12167]

Helo I would like to thank Anurilliblade for proofing this chap.

 

Plz comment if you read as it greatly helps my motivation to write the next chapter

 

Well here it is

 

 

 

Joined in a local marathon up Mount Dante today. I could have won but I didn’t want to attract attention to myself, so instead I ended the race at a close second. It is good to get to know the peaceful farmers and workers here on Dantooine.

 

The next post in my journal is hardly worth documenting. I will however include it.

 

Day 2, Day3, Day 4 and Day 5

 

Aftermath

 

 

We were safely in hyperspace. I vaguely recall congratulating the youngling who had shot down our pursuers. He was very thankful for my saving him. [(I could see that even though he had a seen many terrors that night he was still trying to suck me in, in a jedi like way. However, while he spoke very formally and politely with his mouth, I did notice his lekku…

You see the Twi’lek have a unique language in which part of communication is carried out by small twitches of the lekku. I happened to notice that with his lekku he was calling me names which I will not repeat and using language quite unbecoming a Jedi.

 

“I’m fluent with your lekku language, young--,”

 

 

“My name is Andrewsi Tanosa Pano, or just Andrew for short, Master Bluebender,” he said in a high voice. His voice had obviously not cracked yet.

 

I immediately noticed that his lekku had stopped swearing and were now lying down resignedly, though occasionally flaring up for the odd swear word.

 

 

 

I think both of us were in shock at that time. We just chatted about life within the Jedi order. I discovered the details of Andrew’s life. He was like many of the other Jedi younglings. Apparently he was brought up on Coruscant, the son of a poor Twi’lek clerk who could not afford to keep him. I also learnt he was 14. There was no talk of any plan or anything at all except for just idle chatting about life. Eventually my young accomplice fell asleep while he was lying down on the hover couch. I got a thermal blanket out of my emergency supplies pack and covered the tired young man with it.

 

 

That night was the start of a very bad habit that I am to this day trying to get rid off. I passed a storage container on the way to my bunk. The storage container contained a bottle of very expensive Tarisian ale. I usually drank it after a successful mission or if I had a disagreement with a fellow Jedi colleague. But that night I made my mistake. I took a swig directly from the bottle. I quickly found that it eased the pain and dark thoughts that were infesting my mind.

 

 

I woke up with the traditional killer Tarisian hangover. As I attempted to rise, I spied two empty bottles on the floor next to my bunk. I gingerly lowered myself back down, just thankful I still knew which way was up. Two bottles was usually enough to power a large party or a small tank for the better part of the night. That morning was probably the only time I was sober for many days. I checked out the com data I had hacked from the clone gunship. There was quite a bit of chatter over something called “Order 66”. A helpfully forgetful clone had queried about the order. An exasperated clone commander had then described the order in great detail. Before that day I had had an unwavering support of Chancellor Palpatine. The magnitude of his treachery hit me like a burning blade, and I knew I could never truly trust anyone again. Ever since then I have referred to the fall of the Jedi as “The Order,” feebly attempting through blandness to block out the painful memory.

 

 

The next few days passed in a drunken haze. About 4 days after the attack we began to get the hyperspace sickness called Scurvy. We had spent more than the specified three day limits set by the Interplanetary Health Foundation in hyperspace. So, after quite a bit of retching I set the nav computer towards the nearest planet: Tatooine.

We landed in Anchorhead, a bustling town filled with all sorts of different beings. There were bounty hunters, robbers, con men, moisture farmers or just spacers looking for a drink. Such a place would hardly be affected by the fall of the Jedi. As Andrew and I walked down the cargo ramp, we were hit by the searing, inhospitable faces of the twin suns. We were then hit by a much more inhospitable local.

 

It was a Toydarian. He was much like the rest of his species, leathery looking skin, a big belly and a plethora of other unpleasant features. I have had a personal vendetta against the Toydarians since one of them captured and severely beat Master Drallig and I before carting us off to be turned into slaves while we were on a peacekeeping mission to Ryloth. The circumstances, however, did put us into an advantageous position relative to our mission. We were being circulated through the very smuggling ring we were sent to break up! But I’m wandering from the subject. Suffice it to say that our mission was a success. Where was I? Oh, yes, our inhospitable—and might I say rather pungent—friend.

 

“You land here you pay me 200 credits or you get in trouble with Jabba,” he said in a rasping, oily voice.

 

I had no patience at all with the thug and simply called upon the Force to fix the situation for me.

 

 

“You will leave here and go get yourself a life,” I replied with a wave of my hand.

 

 

“I will leave here and go get myself a life,” the poor Toydarian replied in a cold, unemotional voice.

 

I think it would have been more Jedi-like to have paid, but I was very annoyed and, as I recall, I was only just recovering from yet another Tarisian hangover. I walked along, signaling my shocked young accomplice to follow with a wave of my hand. Basically we walked around just getting fresh, un-reprocessed air into our lungs. We had also brought some military supplies as it was market day. I turned a corner and guess who I saw—Obi-Wan Kenobi. I caught a quick glance at his face. He looked about 20 years older than when I had last seen him while fighting with him in the siege of Jabim, in the Clone Wars. I tore after him. I was on the verge of using the Force to catch him, but I knew every bounty hunter on Tatooine would be on to me if I did. He ducked down a deserted alleyway. I followed, only to find a dead end and no Kenobi. I sent out a quick probe into nearby people’s minds. Nothing. I was either hallucinating or Kenobi didn't want to be found by anyone. Personally I didn’t blame him.

 

I was panting heavily from running in the heat. My young charge and I settled down in a bar. It was no place for a child like Andrew but I didn’t have the heart to send him off. I ordered myself an eye blaster drink and Andrew a glass of foul-looking water. Andrew and I chatted while we downed our beverages. Talking was the only thing I could do-- except for being drunk-- that kept my mind off of the bad thoughts. We sat there for around about 15 minutes standard time until the fight broke out. There was a Bith band playing an out-of-tune song which we were listening to. The patrons were staring at me for bringing someone as young as Andrew to such a shady sort of bar. A rough-looking Rodian entered the cantina and immediately pointed his guns at human female about 29 years old sitting next to me at the tap.

 

 

In bad Basic the Rodian said threateningly, “You don’t pay Jabba’s debt. You give credits now or come with me. Dead or alive.”

 

 

The woman was terrified. “Please, I don’t have enough credits! Take 50 and I’ll win the rest in swoop bets tomorrow! Please!”

 

 

“That’s not good enough .Get ready to die!”

 

 

I probably could have negotiated with the thug but I wasn’t in the mood. Instead I stepped into the line of fire and punched him in the nose. The Rodian fell onto a Squib having a drink, and before I knew it I was in the middle of a bar fight. The band immediately struck up a merry tune. It was just what I needed. Putting a few bounty hunters in a bar and giving them a friendly punch was the perfect thing to do to release my pent-up angers and frustrations. In the end Andrew and I enjoyed the brawl thoroughly but were trained too well by the Jedi to say so. We stayed in the bar for around about another 10 minutes before we were kicked out by a burly bouncer with a stun stick.

 

We began to head back towards the Pacifist. There was one slight dilemma which came in the form of a group of thugs complaining about not getting the crime lord Jabba’s landing money. A wave of my hand and a subtle mind-trick took care of the situation, though I was beginning to feel a bit guilty about using the Force to my advantage so frequently. I primed the engines quickly. The bar fight had cleared my mind. The Force had spoken to me and it said to head to the old Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. It was a place where many Jedi had joined forces in times of danger. Andrew and I both settled into a healing trance to fix up the bruises we had received in the bar. Everything was fine........ or so I thought........

[Bee Hoon]

He didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence as I had pulled him towards my freshly activated light saber, but I imagine the sentence wouldn’t have ended in “Dearie me,’

This made me giggle

 

I like the idea of him turning to alcohol to ease his misery.

 

[(I could see that even though he had a seen many terrors that night he was still trying to suck me in, in a jedi like way.

Suck me in? And you forgot to close the brackets too, btw

 

About 4 days after the attack we began to get the hyperspace sickness called Scurvy. We had spent more than the specified three day limits set by the Interplanetary Health Foundation in hyperspace. So, after quite a bit of retching I set the nav computer towards the nearest planet: Tatooine.

This is an interesting concept. Could you elaborate further?

 

There's still some mistakes, but Andurilblade seems to have helped tremendously. The last chapter doesn't really have the urgency of the earlier chapters, but I suppose they could use a break after all that has happened. Also, when using ellipses, three periods "..." suffice Your wiritng does have a lot of potential--just keep practicing and rereading everything to pick out any errors and improve the flow. I'm looking forward seeing what trouble they'll get into next!

[knight 12167]

The next chapter will be a bit more action packed.

 

thx for the coments bee

 

next chap is coming soon

[knight 12167]

In the end we never made to Dantooine. It was one of those times where the journey was far more important than the destination. It was a day after our little fight in the cantina. Our bruises were healed and we were in high spirits. It was as if a great weight had lifted from our shoulders. Personally I thought that it was that the constant ripple caused by dying Jedi had been replaced by the occasional dull thud. Andrew just thought it was because we were alive, but I knew better.

 

But enough of my ramblings. Through the will of the Force, a will I had already seen enough of for one lifetime, we were thrown into battle once again.

 

We were both asleep when they attacked. There was an explosion that threw us out of our bunks. In the usual show of Jedi reflexes and reaction time we both rushed towards the cockpit out of our separate bunkrooms.

 

A quick diagnostic of the shipboard maintenance computer revealed all we needed to know. A space mine had hit our hyperspace generator. We still had control of the ship, but we couldn’t jump into hyperspace. A quick glance out the window revealed a Corrillian Corvette lingering off our port bow. Pirates. Pirates with their cowardly tactics. Crippling a ship with a gravitic mine before sauntering up and taking what they wanted. But I wasn’t ready to give up so easily.

 

“Bloody pirates,” I remember growling.

 

This particular group of scum was obviously experienced. The moment we recovered our pitch they locked onto us with a strong tractor beam. I knew that if they discovered we were Jedi and captured us we would probably end up as Palpatine’s breakfast. I ground my teeth at the thought of Andrew in that madman’s clutches as I deployed a hidden torpedo turret and fired at their tractor beam generators. Resistance, however, was futile. Their shields were too strong. We were slowly but surely being pulled towards a hangar bay on the blockade runner. We landed with a soft thud inside. I knew what they would do first, but for some reason I was slow to react. I should have told Andrew to hide and myself leapt from the escape hatch, lightsaber blazing. But no; while I sat idle, they attached a concussion bomb to our hull and detonated it. Our ears exploded, and we fell into enveloping darkness.

 

 

When we awoke we were in force cages. That’s no new experience for me but poor Andrew did not handle it well. He was a nervous wreck, lekku twitching gibberish and often bumping into the force field. I knew I would have to use my limited medical training to tend to multiple burns.

 

We were both in the same room, though in separate cages. We were in a cluster of imprisoned individuals positioned at one end of the room. Our captors, a Rodian and a Trandoshan, were at the other end, talking softly between themselves.

 

Normally a person in my situation would have simply given himself up to the will of his captors of the will of the Force or somesuch nonsense. I, for one, had had enough of both and was determined to get both myself and my charge safely away. Using Force-sharpened hearing I listened to the pirates’ conversation.

 

“A Jedi! We sell him to the new Empire and the whole crew buy their own planet!” exclaimed the Rodian animatedly.

 

“Not to Palpatine, he is too much of a backstabber. We sell him to the Black Sun and all retire to the crew’s personal system!” came the hissing reply.

If it had been a week earlier I would have stayed, gone into the criminal ring and destroyed it from the inside. But I was unwilling to risk Andrew’s life. They already knew I was a Jedi; I would have to work fast. I called the Rodian over and used a slight mind trick on him.

 

“Wait! Don’t talk to the Jedi! They can crawl into your head and make you go mad!” cried the Trandoshan in its language.

 

The Rodian quickly backed away. I couldn’t get a full lock on him; just enough to daze him for a minute. As he stood near me I saw that the key card to the force cage was in the Rodian’s back pocket.. Getting the card from him would make plenty of noise, however, and I didn’t want to alert the rest of the crew. I tried to use the Force to deactivate the cage from a com terminal near the two thugs, but it was voice locked and security coded. I had to smile as an alternate plan came to me.

 

I remembered a holovid I had seen as a child where a Jedi had used the Force to fake his own death to escape from his captors.(Master Yoda had made us watch and look at all the wrong things the Jedi did in the movie) I had seen it as a stupid idea thought up by a random write in the bowels of Coruscant, but under these circumstances, I decided to give it a go. I clutched my chest and fell to my knees, breathing hard and using the Force to make my heart beat incredibly fast. A cry from Andrew alerted our unpleasant friends as to what was happening, and the medical monitor attached to the force cage began beeping urgently.

 

“No! If he is dead we only get half of price for him!”

 

My plan was working perfectly. They deactivated the force cage. Immediately I leapt up.

 

I pushed the surprised Rodain into a wall. There was a crack and the poor Rodian slid to the floor. The Trandoshan, however, reacted very quickly. He drew a nasty-looking curved dagger from its sheath and threw it at me. I attempted to duck but the dagger managed to nick my arm. It clanged with a shower of sparks against the wall. Using the Force I pulled the unconscious Rodian’s blaster from its holster. I was about to fire it in the general direction of the Trandoshan’s head when I suddenly had an unbearably urgent need to lie down. I stood there not having enough energy to pull the trigger as my fingers felt like lead.

 

“Ha, stupid Jedi, not even you can defeat me. I dipped that dagger with a tranquilizing poison called Crashik. Now you will be completely helpless!” The slimy hiss was maddening.

Normally anyone, even a Jedi, would be doomed. I, however, am special case, being a crossbreed between a human father and an Abita mother. I retain almost all of my father’s characteristics, but only one of my mother’s; the ability to process, absorb, and counteract poisons.

 

So my defensive bodily systems quickly dealt with the poison. My strength was renewed, and I pulled the trigger. Thank the Force there was a silencer attached or I would have been barraged with bounty hunters.

 

I briefly considered freeing the other prisoners, but a quick probe into their minds told me they were murders, thieves, and other scum the galaxy would thank me for not releasing back into its ranks.

Using the keycard from the back pocket of the unconscious Rodian I freed Andrew from his force cage. The other prisoners began to shout for us to free them, making immediate escape imperative. We both took ugly blaster rifles out of sheaths on the pirates’ bodies. Both were average TC-14 blaster rifles, but they had horrible-looking bayonets attached to them.

 

With grim smiles we set off, determined to escape with our pride intact…

[Chevron 7 locke]

Great story man