[fic] Letting Go

[Kyvios]

Letting Go:

 

Beep…beep…beep…

 

“That noise, what is that noise? It’s not already that time is it?” His hand reached up hitting the button to turn off his alarm.

 

He didn’t want to move an inch feeling his wife’s arms around him. The warmth of her body made it so hard to get up and out of bed. There was something wrong however, he knew it. The beeping was still going on, that endless torturous beeping that demanded his immediate attention. Slowly he opened his eyes the room seemed blurry as if it was trying to fade away from his vision. He turned off the alarm again and rolled over on his side to see his wife.

 

When he rolled over and looked there next to him was an empty space, where his wife used to lay next to him every night. Gently he placed his hand upon the cold sheets of where she should have been, tears slowly falling from his eyes. His heart sank with the disappointment of the dream he had, and the pain of the memory of her loss. That day he would never forget, when he was told his wife had been murdered. He felt himself die at that moment it wasn’t a physical death, but an emotional death. He clenched the sheets tightly in his fists as he started to cry harder, the tears falling from his eyes soaking into his pillow. He kept burying his face deeper and deeper into the pillow trying to muffle the sounds of his painful cry. The pain of that day hasn’t faded for one second, even though it has been three years since she was murdered.

 

“Drake, I’m sorry. When we found her…” his fellow officer was trying to tell him but Drake broke him off.

 

“Where is she? I want to see her, now.” He said with disbelief in his voice. She couldn’t be dead, she still had to be alive he thought.

 

His fellow Republic Officer simply nodded and escorted him to the morgue. There on a cold slab, laid his wife. She was beaten, and stabbed. Her body still covered in her own blood. Drake stumbled his way over to her side and fell to his knees. He gripped her arm tightly, sliding a hand down her arm to hold her hand. He could feel her dried blood against his skin. He raised his other hand to glide his fingers gently threw her hair one last time. Her long beautiful blond hair now all tangled and tinted red. Slowly he could feel himself break slowly he could feel everything that defined him as a person shatter inside him.

 

“Who...” Drake mumbled trying to bottle up his anger “Who did this?”

 

“We believe it was some bandits, or thugs looking for some quick drug money. We aren’t certain of who it might be…” his friend said “I have to ask, do you know anyone who would want to hurt her?”

 

Anyone who would want to hurt her? Drake thought his friend had lost all sense of reasoning. Drake shot to his feet and looked his friend dead in the eyes, his blood boiling, and his fists gripped so tightly that his nails were digging into his palm drawing his own blood.

 

“Hurt her!? She was the nicest person in the whole galaxy. And you know that Taft. You know that damn well. You were her friend!” Drake yelled at Taft.

 

Taft took a couple steps back, looking at the ground and mumbled “I’m sorry Drake, I’m just doing my job.”

 

Drake sighed turning back to his wife looking down at her. He bent over her and softly kissed her forehead telling his friend “Just go…”

 

Drake didn’t look at Taft as he walked out of the room, he still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. That day has stayed with Drake, her memory never leaving him. His life now basically consists of working, visiting a local Cantina, and going to bed. Everyone waited two years for his mourning to pass. When they realized Drake showed no interest in moving on, they did what they could to help him. With every attempt to help him it just made him push them away until eventually he was totally and utterly alone.

 

Now his job as a Coruscant Defense Officer was hanging in the balance. And he was becoming increasingly more dependent on the alcohol that now swam threw his veins. He slowly got out of bed, having no intention of going to work, or doing much of anything. He sank into the bath water allowing the relaxing warmth embrace his body, bringing him his only moment of comfort and relaxation. Once the water started to cool down, releasing him from the warmth comfort he felt he got out dried himself off and got dressed in his work uniform.

 

As he tightened the last glove around his wrist, he heard noise coming from his kitchen. Quietly he started to walk over to the kitchen, hugging the wall closely removing his blaster pistol from his side. The noise was still there, it sounded as if someone was moving plates, and pots around. He cautiously peered around the corner only to have his eyes widen in shock and disbelief. His blaster pistol fell to the ground as he walked around the corner to face his wife.

 

She turned her head towards him, her long blond hair falling behind her shoulders with the brisk movement of her head. When she saw it was him a smile came across her face, her crystal blue eyes shimmered with joy. His heart came to life she was here in his kitchen cooking again. The joy he felt at that moment was indescribable. He wanted to run towards her, embrace her in his arms tightly and never let go of her. But he just stood there in shock, and delight at what he was seeing.

 

“Good morning sleepy head” she said smiling at him. Oh how he loved that smile. How he wanted to capture that smile for an eternity. She walked over to him handing him a plate of food.

 

“Now sit and eat or you’ll be late for work.” She said with a slight demanding voice.

 

Drake did as she told him. He looked down at the plate of food walking to the table but when his back was completely turned to her he heard something. It was her voice, what was it telling him? What did she say to him?

 

“Why haven’t you moved on?” she repeated again to him, this time she spoke in his mind allowing it to echo through his skull. He turned his head over his shoulder to look at her, but she was gone. All the pots that she was using were still hanging off the wall clean. Drake turned his head back to look at his hands. His hands were holding nothing but air, the thin delicate air that surrounded him constantly. Taunting him with life, giving it to him, allowing him to live a life he no longer wanted.

 

Were his memories being cruel to him, playing jokes upon him? Driving what was left of his fragile sanity to the other part of the outer rim. Or was her spirit trying to tell him something. Drake shook his head, spirits didn’t exist, once you died, you were dead. No such thing as an afterlife existed.

 

Drake walked back over to where he had dropped his blaster pistol and placed it back into its holster. He decided to go to work after all, staying in this house right now he believed would just drive him further to insanity. On a normal day he would have hailed an air taxi, but this day was starting to be anything but normal. He thought if he didn’t follow his daily routine this one time, his memories of her would not be triggered, and he wouldn’t have to live through seeing her, then losing her once again. As he walked it felt like his heart was weeping its own tears, it felt so heavy inside its chest. His body feeling as if his hearts tears were slowly drowning him into a depression he couldn’t be saved from.

 

As he walked he ran into two Mandalorian thugs. He didn’t care what they wanted from him, and deep down he hoped they would kill him. Part of him was praying that they would kill him.

 

“Give us your credits” one of them said pushing him back a little

 

“I don’t have any” Drake responded “Now get out of my way”

 

“Your just one officer, Do you think you can honestly take us?” The other one said

 

“It wouldn’t take must skill to dispose of two stupid thugs like you” he said, his voice empty and shallow.

 

The first thug grinned “How does that feel?” the thug asked as he started to laugh.

 

Drake looked down and noticed that a Vibro-blade ran threw his stomach. There wasn’t any pain his body was in shock from the attack. The thug moved the blade still inside him, towards the alley. Drake moved along with the blade to prevent it from doing anymore damage. Time seemed to move slowly as the thug lifted his foot and kick Drake off of the blade. The kick was hard, and inside his chest he could hear bones crack and break from the kick. His head bashed off the hard ground, knocking him unconscious.

 

A bright light burned at his eyes as he slowly opened them to see if he was still lying in the alley dying. All that surrounded him was light and a cool mist. He looked down at his stomach and noticed that his injury was gone, and it felt like his bones weren’t broken. In the distance there was a figure standing there, looking at him. Drake couldn’t make the person out clearly. The light was still too bright for him. He sat there waiting for his eyes to finish adjusting. As the dots faded from his eyes he recognized the person at once.

 

Quickly he rose to his feet and ran to meet her, joy feeling him with every step. It was her, it was his wife he knew this time it couldn’t be an illusion from his mind.

 

“Lena, is it honestly you? You’re real this time?”

 

She raised her arm and gently placed a hand upon his rough cheek. Her skin still felt so soft and warm against his cold hard skin. He raised his hand and placed it over hers holding onto her hand tightly not wanting to let go. He stepped closer to her, embracing her with his free arm. This moment was everything he had hoped for, everything he wanted.

 

“You can’t stay here Drake. You have to go back” she said softly to him.

He took a few steps back, his heart feeling like it was ready to jump off the tallest building and just let everything go. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, they could finally be together again and he had to go back.

 

“No, I can’t go back” he said “I finally have you back in my arms”

 

Lena shook her head then looked into his eyes with her brilliant shimmering blue eyes and smiled softly at him.

 

“I lived my life Drake. You need to live yours now.” She told him.

 

“No, no…”he said on the verge of collapsing at her feet “I don’t want to live a life without you. I can’t…” tears slowly sliding down his cheek.

 

“You have too. You have to let go of me Drake.”

 

“Let go, let go. Don’t you understand, you were my heart and soul, my reason for everything. If I could have taken your place I would have without a second thought. My life has no meaning if it doesn’t include you with me.” He said to her.

 

Lena moved closer to him, resting the side of her head against his chest listening to his heart beat wrapping her arms around him. Drake watched a warm smile came across Lena’s face. Something inside him stirred something he thought was lost to him. The guilt he felt for losing her, for not being able to protect her when she needed him most.

 

“I failed you…” he mumbled “I couldn’t protect you.”

 

She lifted her head to look at him, still keeping her body close to his “You haven’t failed me. There was no way you could have protected me.”

“But you died alone…”he said painfully, his voice sounding like a whisper.

“I wasn’t alone.” She said to Drake “Because no matter where I was you were always with me. In here.” She placed her hands upon her heart, then over his heart. “We’ll always have each other. Always be together in here.”

Drake’s heart stepped away from the ledge at the realization that he never lost her. She had always been with him, those illusions were really her. She was telling him all along that her love for him was there with him forever. And in that moment he knew that he could only fail her, is by giving up on living and on love.

 

“It isn’t the same without you.” Drake said.

 

“I know, but you’ll live, laugh and love again” she told him.

 

“I know, because you will be with me every step of the way” He placed his hand over her hand that was still over his heart “In here.”

 

A bright light engulfed them both bringing Drake back to his body. He slowly opened his eyes, another bright place but this time he felt pain. He moaned slightly as he lifted his arm to block the light. Once his eyes had adjusted he saw himself in a medical lab with Taft standing over him.

 

“You gave us quite a scare there” Taft said with a smile.

 

Drake grinned slightly “Sorry… for everything”

 

“Well don’t worry about it. I’d rather you didn’t get so sentimental on me.” Taft laughed.

 

Drake didn’t realize it at first but he was laughing too. He was finally laughing for the first time in a long time. The memories of Lena didn’t pain him as much, but filled him with the courage he needed to go on and live a life he knew she would be proud of. He knew he would still miss her for a while, but he wouldn’t live everyday mourning what was lost, but now live for what is. Drake turned his head out the window to see the blue sky shining brightly, and an animal fly by his window.

 

A small tear ran down his cheek as he whispered “Good-bye

[Kado Sunrider]

nice story Ky.

 

I must say that the whole misty mind shadow thing was a bit harry potter, but the story itself was sound. I did notice a few grammatical errors, but nothing so terrible that it interrupted the flow of the reading. Nice work my friend.

 

BTW, if you enjoyed my story, you might like some of the other work in the CEC.

[Kyvios]

i haven't really read or seen harry potter... i'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not, lol. I'll look into it though. And yea I'm aware of the mistakes, apperently reading it several times then submitting it, then reading it again allows you to find the mistakes -smacks forehead-

 

Anyways Thanks for taking the time to read it and comment.

[Kado Sunrider]

lol

 

well, if it was unintentional, then its awesome. That you came up with the same thing as a professional writer is definitely not a bad thing.

 

I know what you mean. I always find my errors after i post the story, so most of my editing is done right here on the forums. xD

[Bee Hoon]

that now swam threw his veins.

*through

 

All in all, a bit predictable but quite well written I liked the little things about this fic--describing him waking up, putting on his gloves, etc. which gave it a nice feel. The fight scene could have been better, so perhaps you could have a look at the descriptions in those. There are some errors, most notably the use of "threw" instead of through. Reread it slowly and see what you can pick up

[Endorenna]

Hmm. What Bee said, but the main thing that I noticed was the vibroblade. You don't move up a vibroblade to keep it from doing more damage--the thousands of tiny vibrations running up and down the place will shred your innards like a blender. If anything, moving up the blade would make it worse.

 

Sorry--hit the post button before I meant to. -_-

 

All-in-all, it was pretty good. I'm not a fan of the insane visions of dead people, though--just my pet peeve, nothing bad on your part.

 

~ Merged for extra oomph.

[Kyvios]

i honestly figured this one wouldn't be great or anything. But needless to say I still gave it my best short -coughs- >.>

 

At least if people enjoy it that's really all I care about.

[machievelli]

read

[igyman]

A very good story. There were quite a few typos, but fortunately they didn't diminish the story. Nice work!

[Bee Hoon]

At least if people enjoy it that's really all I care about.

I like that attitude