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Killer Gonks!!


Eternity

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From Lucas Arts:

 

"Gonks were an essential factor and enjoyable addition to such games as Jedi Knight and the recent Star Wars: Phantom Menace. These adorable power-saving machines of love obediently played a crucial role in the daily goings-on of the great Empire. Trundling along, they often sacrificed their humble lives when occasional Jedi Knights decided to beat the crap out of the entire Empire from time to time for kicks. Using the only defenses that were blessed upon them at conception, they made pathetic beep beep noises to hopefully cause the enemy to fall down in spasms of uncontrollable agony, and/or laughter.

 

However, most of the time, they got a saber in the face for really no reason at all.

 

Lucas Arts has now decided to give these crucial machines a better chance of survival in the daily rigors of the Empire life. Frustrated with Gonks being pushed over cliffs and being tortured, they went back to the drawing board and assembled from scratch the Super Gonk.

 

That’s right. The Super Gonk.

 

These deadly machines of war will slaughter anything in their path. Speeding along on wheels implanted in their short legs, they are studded with sharp projectiles and nuclear reactors. Many the unwary was last blessed with the sound of ‘beep beep’ noises and rolling wheels as an insane Super Gonk repeatedly rolled over their face.

 

Robots that make Darth Maul look like a wannabe Devil on a flying scooter and Darth Vader a vacuum cleaner gone bad, these Gonks are not ones that can simply be kicked over in derision. Rather, these Super Gonks are going to mess you up, yo.

 

Now, back to making fun of the poor sods actually following our half-baked games that are in reality being made by other studios because we are too lazy."

 

There you have it.

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I'm not impressed with your foolish pranks. Be warned...

 

Pranks?

 

Gonkh8ter, I would advise you to take a bit more serious stand then that. I fear being impressed would be the least of your worries.

 

Super Gonk is going to make you it's *****, beep-beep style
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STAR WARS: DARK FORCES IV: JEDI KNIGHT III: JEDI OUTCAST II:

ATTACK OF THE GONKS

 

 

 

Play as Kyle Katarn through twenty action-packed levels featuring gonks, gonks, and more gonks! All new powers like Force Rust will assist you in killing, torturing, and annihilating all the Gonk droids the Empire can throw at you. Multiplayer modes include Gonk Football, Kill the Fool with the Gonk, Capture the Gonk, Gonk Duel, and your average Death-to-Gonk- and Team Death-to-Gonk-matches. Coming May 2002!

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