Havoc Stryphe Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 This Thread was requested by Rhett and I couldn't say no. This thread will be Star Wars line by line as if being watched by someone who's stoked at the time; Allow me to start us off... A while ago in a galaxy, like, really, really far away... (The best I can do, that line doesn't leave much room for drug induced interpretations! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HIGH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 The smoking alliance, winning its first battle over the galactic Crackpile... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compa_Mighty Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 has stolen the plans to a super weapon called the Death Pott.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 Star Wars: Episode IV A NEW DOPE It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base o' love, have won their first victory against the evil Narc Empire. During the battle , Rebel stoners managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH BONG, an armored space bong with enough killer pot to toke and destroy an entire star system. Pursued by the Empire's sinister narcs, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen pot and bong plans that can save her people and restore pot to the galaxy... __________________________________________ There we go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacherous Mercenary Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 LMFAO !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted May 14, 2002 Share Posted May 14, 2002 LOL:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted May 15, 2002 Author Share Posted May 15, 2002 C-WEED-PO: "Did you hear that R-DOOB, that was the main reactor, there will be no drug trip for the princess this time!" R-DOOB: "Beep, beep whirl" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treacherous Mercenary Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 ! Keep it up guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 (SCENE: Leia is recording the message to R-Doob) Leia: Help me... Dude! What was I saying again? Oh right: Obi-Wan Kadoobi, you served with... Dude, where's my spaceship? Oh yeah: You served with my pusher during the Clone Narc wars, now I need your pot and help. Help me dude, you're my only hope.. (ENTER: Stormtroopers) Leia: Hey, you wanna get baked and watch SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS??? (TBC...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compa_Mighty Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 STORMTROOPER: Quick, set to stone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 Stormtroopers attack Rebel Troopers Rebel Trooper: No, no, anything but this! Stormtrooper approaches Trooper with syringe. Smoke clears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 TROOPER: She'll be okay, she just took one "hit", tell Lord Tweeker we have a prisoner. INT REBEL BLOCKADE RUNNER SUBHALLWAY R DOOB stops before a small hatch of an emergency life pod to light a doobie. He gets into the pod which is starting to fill with smoke. C-WEED-PO: Hey we can't breathe in there, with it all smoked up like that. You'll get deactivated for sure! R DOOB beeps and blows smoke in his face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted May 15, 2002 Author Share Posted May 15, 2002 Vader: (To Capt. Antilles) "Where is the Weed you intercepted?" Capt. Antilles: "I don't know what your smoking dude! This is Counselor's Ship on a drug trip to Alderaan!" Vader: "If this is a Counselor's Ship, then where is the Dealer!" Capt. Antilles: "aaargh" Vader: "Commander, tear this ship apart until you find that weed, and bring me the stoners. I want them alive!!!! (TBC) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boba Rhett Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 *escape pod launches* Gunner: Captain, There goes another Bong pod. Captain: Hold your fire, there doesn't appear to be any pot in it. *Meanwhile, C-WEED-PO is looking out the window* C-WEED-PO: Hmmm.... the bust doesn't look so bad from out here. Especially after we shared your emergency stash, R DOOB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted May 15, 2002 Author Share Posted May 15, 2002 Leia is led down corridor to Vader Princess Leia: "Darth Vader... only you could be so stoned. Imperial Crack heads will not sit still for this. When they hear you've smoked a diplomatic..." Vader: "Don't act so stoned, Your Highness. You weren't on any dope mission this time. Several kilos of weed were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the weed they sent you!" Princess Leia:"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Imperial Crack Heads on a drug trip to Alderaan ... Vader:"You are part of the Rebel Alliance . . . and a drugee. Take her away! " Commander:"drugging her is dangerous. If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the Rebellion with the Crack Heads." Vader: "I have traced the Rebel stoners to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret stash." Commander: "She'd OD before she tells you anything." Vader: "Leave that to me. Send a distress signal and then inform the Crack Heads that all aboard were stoned!" Another Imperial commander approaches Vader and the first commander. Commander 2: "Lord Vader, the Weed is not onboard this ship, and no bongs were smoked. A small Bong Pod was Jettisoned during the fighting, but no stoners were on board." Vader 2: "She must have hidden the weed on the Bong Pod, send a detachment crew down to retrieve it. See to it personally commander, there will be no-one to sober us this time!" Commander 2: " Yes Sir!" ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 c-weed-po: "I'm afraid we're so doped up we can't tell which way is left.* Rdoob- Wheeze... cw-eed: I'm not smoking that way. I'm gonna inject my self that way. Rdoob- sniffing sound* C-weed- Ok, then I am on my own! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted May 15, 2002 Author Share Posted May 15, 2002 C-WEED-PO, after leaving R-DOOB has become hot and tired, and struggles up over the ridge of a dune, only to find more dunes, which seem to go on for endless miles. He looks back in the direction of the now distant rock mesas. C-WEED-PO: "That malfunctioning little twerp. This is all his fault! He tricked me into smoking this stuff, but he'll smoke no better." His plight seems hopeless, when a glint of reflected light in the distance reveals an object moving towards him. C-WEED-PO: "Wait, what's that? A Crack House! I'm saved!" The bronze droid waves frantically and yells at the approaching Crack House. C-WEED-PO: "Over here! Hey! Hey! Help! Please, help!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted May 15, 2002 Share Posted May 15, 2002 Suddenly a group of Drawas approach. (Subtitles) Drawa 1: what shall we do with these droids? Drawa 2: Sell them to the Heroine Farmers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted May 15, 2002 Author Share Posted May 15, 2002 As the farmer carefully inspects each of the robots, he is closely followed by his slump-shouldered nephew, Luke Skywalker. One of the vile little Drawas walks ahead of the farmer, spouting an animated sales pitch in a queer, unintelligible language. OWEN: Yeah, all right, fine. Let's go. A voice calls out from one of the huge holes that form the homestead. BERU: Luke! Luke! Luke goes over to the edge and sees his Aunt Beru standing in the main courtyard. BERU: Luke, tell Uncle, if he gets a translator to be sure it smokes pot. LUKE: Doesn't look like we have much of a choice, but I'll remind him. Luke returns to his uncle as they look over the equipment for sale with the Drawa Dealer. OWEN: No, not that one... (addressing WEED-PO) You, I suppose you're programmed for crack and crystal meth? WEED-PO: Crack? Why, it's my primary substance, sir. I am well versed in all the customs- OWEN: I have no need for a Crack droid. WEED-PO: (quickly) Of course you haven't, sir-not in an environment such as this- that's why I have been programmed- OWEN: What I really need is a droid who understands the binary language of Heroine vaporators. WEED-PO: Vaporators! Sir-My first job was programming binary Meth lifters . . . very similar to your vaporators in most respects . . . OWEN: Can you smoke pot? WEED-PO: Of course I can, sir. It's like a second nature to me . . . I'm as fluent in- OWEN: All right; shut up! (turning to Drawa) I'll take this one. WEED-PO: Shutting up, sir. OWEN: Luke, take this two over to the garage, will you? I want them doped up before dinner. LUKE: But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters . . . OWEN: You can smoke crack time with your friends when your chores are done. Now come on, get to it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted May 16, 2002 Share Posted May 16, 2002 LUKE: DUDE! All right, come on crack pots! And the red one, come on. Well, come on, Red, let's go. As the Drawas start to lead the remaining pot heads back into the crack house, RDOOBlets out a pathetic little puff of smoke and starts after his old crack buddy C-Weed-PO. He is restrained by a stoned Drawa, who zaps him with a control box. Owen is negotiating with the head Drawa. Luke and the two crack pots start for the garage when a bong falls off the head of the red crack pot, throwing parafanalia all over the ground. LUKE: Uncle Owen . . . OWEN: Yeah? LUKE: This crack unit has a bad inhalator. Look! OWEN: (to the head Drawa) Hey, what're you trying to push on us? The Drawa goes into a loud spiel. Meanwhile, RDOOB is blowing smoke everywhere, trying to attract attention, however since he's wasted he falls face flat. He lets out with a low wheeze. C WEED PO taps Luke on the shoulder and passes him a hit. C WEED PO: (pointing to R DOOB)Excuse me, sir, I know that crack pot looks like s#!# right now, but it really can hold its own when it comes to taking a few hits, it is in prime condition. A real bargain and it comes with its own private stash! LUKE: Uncle Owen . . . OWEN: Yeah? LUKE: What about that one? The one face down in the sand? OWEN: (to Drawa) What about that blue &*^k$d up one? We'll take that one. With a little reluctance the stoned drawa trades the damaged crack pot for RDOOB . LUKE: Yeah, take this stoner away. C WEED PO: I'm quit sure you'll be very pleased with that one, sir. He really is a great smoker and he knows how to make his own bongs too. I've worked with him before. Here he comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavyarms Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 Luke takes RDOOB into the house. he stumbles upon a rcording: Help me, Obi-bong-Can you smoke me, you're my only dope! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted May 21, 2002 Share Posted May 21, 2002 RDOOB: ---------------- --- - -------- ----- --- ---------- -. Luke: Oh, no, I'm sorry. last droid I let out almost got me cracked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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