Girls, Girls, Girls...

[Ratmjedi]

There are two girls to be exact. There is leXX and there is STTCT.

There were also two other girls but I don't know what happened to them.

[Taos]

Originally posted by Darth Yoda85

Hey I didnt know that there was a girl on these forums..lol.

 

Much learning you still have to do, young one......

[DiRtY $oUtH™]

well then...learn i shall.

[Redwing]

Originally posted by Darth Yoda85

Hey I didnt know that there was a girl on these forums..lol.

 

[Rogue15]

most of the girls that come here are probably guests.

[StormHammer]

Originally posted by STTCT

You have to give up SOOO MUCH. You never even dreamed of. Even if people tell you this, you won't believe it till it actually happens. I want a PS2...but there are going to be diapers to buy and a baby to watch. Will I have time to play games...I don't know.

 

I can only offer you a little advice. Make time for yourself. Yes, bringing up children is hard, and yes, you and your partner will have to make a lot of sacrifices. However, no matter how much you might love your children, and how much you want to do for them, and be there for them...you should not lose your own identity. If there are things that you enjoy doing now...then you need to discuss these things with your partner, and make arrangements for you to have time to yourself. Even if it's an hour a day, it helps. In the same vein, don't think that kids are a money-pit, and that you must plough all of your financial resources into them. Children are resilient. Always plan ahead and include yourselves in the equation. Having children is not about giving up your identity, or giving up your way of life...it is about welcoming them into your way of life.

 

My wife has often felt trapped into looking after the children (although she made a conscious choice to do so, and not work, which makes me the bread-winner so-to-speak), and she loves our kids so much she feels she shouldn't be apart from them. She feels she has to be there for them all the time...and it's simply not true. So don't give up on some of the things you like doing, even if sometimes it seems impossible to keep doing them. I've seen too many relationships fall apart because there is not enough support for the mother's needs - even if the mother is not aware of those needs herself. Support from a partner is essential, and support from other family members or close friends should always be welcomed.

 

As for sex and marriage...well, I'm afraid I also view marriage as little more than a symbol. I lived with my wife for 3 years before we eventually decided to 'get married', and then it was just a quiet affair with close relatives. We didn't have kids until four years after that. That's not to say we didn't have an active sex life over those 7 years. Having kids never really bothered either of us when we got married...we just sort of came to a mutual decision later on that we wanted children. We were lucky in that respect, I guess...I know that sometimes that decision is taken away. However, you should never simply do 'the right thing' unless you're sure it is the 'right thing' for both parties involved.

 

Saving yourself until after marriage can be a mistake...or it can be the right choice. It all comes down to individual needs...and really understanding the needs of your potential partners. It's also good to be true to any beliefs you hold...as long as you remain true to yourself.