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whitedragon

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i have been toying for a few days now with the idea of makeing a spoof script of LOTR. if you need an example of what i mean here you are

 

gimli: they say there is a great elf witch who lives in these woods

 

mary:oooooooo spooooky

 

gimli:but she wont get me, i have foxy eyes

 

haldir:the dwarf breaths so loud that...HOLY, jeese dwarf what did you eat

 

gimli:gaze into my foxy eyes elf

 

haldir ignors gimli

 

aragorn:forgive the company i travel with. they're all...well...stupid

 

 

stuff like that. so if anyone has any thoughts i could use them

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You could have Elrond wearing sunglasses and saying "Welcome to Rivendell, Mr. Anderson... I mean, Baggins.":D

 

When Gandalf confronts the Balrog, as he is raising his staff to slam it down onto the ground, he trips on his robe and falls flat on his arse. "YOU CANNOT... AW DAMMIT!"

 

When Sam says "Don't turn me into anything... unnatural" have Gandalf turn him into a cat, then into a dog/cow/whatever, just some strange things, and then Gandalf says "There, is that unnatural enough for you?"

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Three pings for the admin kings who are high

Seven for the lowpingers in their halls of stone

Nine for motal men doomed to die

One for the Clem lord on his dark throne

In the land of somerset where the cider lies

One Ping to rule them all. one ping to find them

one ping to bring them all and in the laggyness bind them

In the land of somerset where the cider lies

 

^^^ theres that

 

plus

 

YOU CANNOT pass (as he stabs his staff into his foot)

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here's a good start for ye:

 

 

*Gandalf rides on his carraige singing "Follow the yellow brick road" *

 

Frodo: Gandalf! You're back!

 

Gandalf: What about my back?

 

Frodo: You know what I mean! It is so good to see you!

 

Gandalf: So, my young hobbit, your infactuation has not ceased, I see.

 

Frodo: Pfft! Like that can happen! Anyway, on to more things,how is the world?

 

Gandalf: Much as it always has been...........round........

 

Frodo: Well thats good to hear! Tell me, Will you be going to uncle Bilbo's birthday party?

 

Gandalf: They aren't bringing back that clown this year, are they?

 

Frodo: After last year, I doubt it!

 

*frodo gets off carraige*

 

Frodo: Well, see you later!

 

Gandalf mutters under his breath on a close up shot: good riddance.......

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Originally posted by obi-wan13

here's a good start for ye:

 

 

*Gandalf rides on his carraige singing "Follow the yellow brick road" *

 

Frodo: Gandalf! You're back!

 

Gandalf: What about my back?

 

Frodo: You know what I mean! It is so good to see you!

 

Gandalf: So, my young hobbit, your infactuation has not ceased, I see.

 

Frodo: Pfft! Like that can happen! Anyway, on to more things,how is the world?

 

Gandalf: Much as it always has been...........round........

 

Frodo: Well thats good to hear! Tell me, Will you be going to uncle Bilbo's birthday party?

 

Gandalf: They aren't bringing back that clown this year, are they?

 

Frodo: After last year, I doubt it!

 

*frodo gets off carraige*

 

Frodo: Well, see you later!

 

Gandalf mutters under his breath on a lose up shot: good riddance.......

mabey in stead i could put

 

frodo: hows the world

 

gandalf: oh frodo you know i cant tell you importent things

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The ring wrath rises atop the distant horizon aproaching rapidly after Frodo.

 

Frodo looks around worridly, franticly searching for a hiding place.

 

The ring wrath rises atop the distant horizon aproaching rapidly after Frodo.

 

Frodo looks around worridly, franticly searching for a hiding place.

 

The ring wrath rises atop the distant horizon aproaching rapidly after Frodo.

 

Frodo looks around worridly, franticly searching for a hiding place.

 

The ring wrath rises atop the distant horizon aproaching rapidly after Frodo.

 

Frodo looks odly at the Ring Wraith off in the distance slowly aproacning, with a currious look on his face.

 

The ring wrath rises atop the distant horizon aproaching rapidly after Frodo

 

Frodo stamps his foot impatiantly. Looking at the other hobits in slight embarrasment.

 

The ring wrath rises atop the distant horizon aproaching rapidly after Frodo

 

Frodo looks at the ground in bordom and starts to twittle his thumb.

 

The ring wraith is suddenly there amongst them and proceeds with slautering them all.

 

after all the hobits are dead a man comes to the front and explains that the movie will not be canceled even though all the main characters are dead. But instead introduces a new character.

 

------------------

and you can work from there.

 

do you like it?

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Originally posted by Father Torque

hey what about Gandalf doing an interprative dance to the little mermaid and frodo on the dijiourido and a herd of elfs in a circle singing WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS and then Elron can do the macarana with some wring wraiths and Bilbo singing dance to the music:D :D :D

well i want the same story line but they say different things

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ok so far i got

 

the prolog

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...oh never mind lets just get on with it.

 

*Gandalf rides on his carraige singing "Follow the yellow brick road" *

 

Frodo: Gandalf! You're back!

 

Gandalf: What about my back?

 

Frodo: You know what I mean! It is so good to see you!

 

Gandalf: So, my young hobbit, your infactuation has not ceased, I see.

 

Frodo: Pfft! Like that can happen! Anyway, on to more things,how is the world?

 

Gandalf: You know i cant tell you important things

 

Frodo: Well thats good to hear! Tell me, Will you be going to uncle Bilbo's birthday party?

 

Gandalf: They aren't bringing back that clown this year, are they?

 

Frodo: After last year, I doubt it!

 

*frodo gets off carraige*

 

Frodo: Well, see you later!

 

Gandalf mutters under his breath on a lose up shot: good riddance.......

 

*gandalf rides up to bilbos house and knocks on the door*

 

bilbo: oh do come in

 

*gandalf goes to the side of the door and opens it with his staff. a shotgun blast goes through the door and bilbo comes out with a shotgun and looks around*

 

gandalf: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

 

bilbo: oh hello gandalf i uh...thought you were a sackvillbaggins

 

gandalf: nevermind that do you have the old toby

 

bilbo: shhhhh later

 

*they both go inside*

 

bilbo: i need to ask you a question. do any rings ever talk to you

 

gandalf: so what do you have to drink

 

ring: eat at joe's eat at joe's eat at joe's eat at joe's

 

bilbo: yeah....by the way im going away and im takeing the evil ring with me

 

gandalf: just tea thank you

 

*later. bilbo gives his birthday speech*

 

bilbo: you all suck so bye

 

*bilbo dissapears*

 

frodo: ohhhhhhhhh boy

 

gandalf: ok got to run frodo

 

*afew days later frodo finds his house broken into*

 

gandalf: BOO

 

frodo: HOLY $#!+

 

gandalf: the ring is evil, thats why it talks

 

frodo: you hear it to, thank God

 

ring: HEY I HAVE FEELINGS TOO

 

gandalf:......yeah so i need to see the obviously evil saruman and get my ass kicked. you need to go to bree and make sure that if you hear tom bombadil shoot him

 

*they hear a noise and gandalf pulls sam out of thin air*

 

sam: ack gardening at night

 

gandalf: whatever. i need some one to loose frodo

 

sam: dont worry mr. gandalf i wont loose him

 

gandalf: thats not what i said

 

*all three are in a spooky part of the forest*

 

gandalf: so um bye

 

*gandalf takes out two empty halves of coconuts and starts banging them together as he galops away*

 

frodo: this is gonna be one long spoof

 

*gandalf meets radagast the brown*

 

gandalf: your not supposed to be in the movie

 

radagast: where are you going

 

gandalf: isengard

 

radagast: are you rideing on a horse

 

gandalf: yes

 

radagast: your useing coconuts

 

gandalf: what

 

radagast: you have two empty halves of coconut and your banging them to gether. where did you get them

 

gandalf: i found them

 

radagast: in the shire? the coconut is tropicle. this is a temperate zone

 

gandalf: LOOK ITS ELVIS

 

*gandalf slips away*

 

gandalf: saruman the dark lord whats his name...star man has found the ring in the shire.

 

saruman: and you dident notice it before. have you been smokeing old toby again.

 

*they go inside*

 

gandalf: WHAT YOUR JOINING SAMMEY

 

saruman: he said hed give me 5 bucks

 

*gandalf gets ass kicked and frodo, sam, mary and pippin*

 

pippen: SHROOMS

 

frodo: scary scream from man in black roab usually means to get off the road

 

*nazgul appears banging coconuts together*

 

nazgul#1: where is this person shire from the land of baggins. *sniff sniff* i smell shrooms.

 

ring: IM DOWN HERE YOU PUTTS

 

*nazgul goes after shrooms instead*

 

mary: it gets dark really fast around here

 

*nazgul chase hobbits to boat and frodo falls in water*

 

nazgul#1: HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

*hobbits go to pranceing pony and drink*

 

pippen: FOOD

 

mary: BEER

 

sam: SPOOKY MAN IN CORNER

 

*agenct all odds by throwing the ring in the air frodo gets it stuck on his finger*

 

sam, mary, pippen: ohhhhhhhhh boy

 

*frodo finds himself in weard shadow world*

 

sauron: peeek a boo

 

frodo: HOLY $#!+

 

*frodo takes off ring*

 

aragorn: do it again uh i mean come with me

 

frodo: can i ask you a personal question do you uh wash your hair

 

aragorn: am i scary

 

frodo: no

 

*scean changes nazgul stabing beds and finding out that the hobbits arent there*

 

nazgul#2: do you know if there are any ring makers in bree

 

*hobbits and strider get to weather top*

 

frodo:i hope you know strider that when you wander off where ever your going mary and pippen are going to do something stupid to attract evil.

 

aragorn: yes but i must rescue you hobbits in my own perticular...uh

 

sam: idiem

 

aragorn: IDIEM

 

edit:ill update this frequently

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