Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 European Union Weapon inspectors are still denied access to parts of the tobacco industry's production facilities, administration buildings. In the wake of the killing of 34,000 Americans each year and additional in the European countries due to the actions of the tobacco industry, the European Union has been trying to stop what Gerhard Scrøder has named the "Axis of Evil": Prince, Parliament, and Camel Inc. So far, access to the sites of production has been denied Said Bondevik, prime minister of Norway, "so far, we have trusted the European countries of the NATO alliance, especially the UK and Germany, to stop any foreign threats to our shores. But we are mightily scared by this new aggression." Even the United States, which each year throws 50 billion dollars into the navy branch of it's armed forces alone, and today have a stockpile of 1546 nuclear weapons*, said that they are unable to match the defenses of the lawyers of the tobacco industry. This has left Europeans baffled. "I'm terrified," says British citizen John Bergen, "what terrible weapon does this 'lawyer' army have that the Nazis, Communists, Talibans, and Iraqis do not have?". To make matters more difficult, all these facilities are inside buildings, and any transfers of everything from personell to the deadbringing chemical substances the companies produce are carried out by means of trucks and cars, meaning that spy sats are useless. We only have few hints of the name of the mighty deadbringing arsenal the US Armed Forces, which have previously successfully defeated the Al-Queida, Communism, and Nazism, are afraid to take on consist of, although the Tobacco industry have admitted that they possses lethal items known as "lawyers" and "a 'INC' suffix". "Some call it sad, others an epidemic. Some say we should wait it out and see what happens. But I call it nothing more than a crisis unmatched even by the Communist spread outside of Europe. And until the EU and USA can gain sufficient reconnaisance of the secret weapons the Lawyers posess, there seems to be very few things we can do to stop this epidemic other than preventing it from spreading", growls the outraged French prime minister. As to the prevention of spreading these weapons, Danish, German, and Norwegian patrol ships indeed do routinely search vessels bound for countries like Iraq, North Korea, and China from the USA, to prevent the deadly lawyers from falling into the hands of potential aggressors. Said German citizen Linda Schmidt, "I cannot sleep at night thinking about what would happen if the Al-Queida got their hands on Lawyers or became a Capitalist Corporation. Most likely it would be the end of the world as we know it, as the US Armed Forces, the most powerful military body in the world, would stand powerless to resist their onsloughts". In fact, both the US and EU governmnents have been found guilty in harbouring these killers and even receive shares of the income from their killings [tobacco fees]. The NATO alliance, on the other hand has started construction of 20% more bomb shelters in all European countries, and positively ensure the people they have nothing to worry about. But meanwhile, Schroeder warns the people that "it might not be long before we [the EU] stand alone and isolated.. the last great Democracy on Earth." Øyvind Wallentinsen, reporting live from Berlin, EU *Fictional number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 Alway stirring up contreversy, eh Eagle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacco Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 We shoule keep the peace to a maximum. Shall we? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 I don't get it. Tobacco? Nukes? Meh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 I am lost as well "deadly lawyors"????!! Okay in the states...lawyors are people who defend you in court etc. So why would the al quieda want to get their hands on our deadly lawyers? What do nukes have to do with the Tobacco Industry and also WTF!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wacky_Baccy Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 Bwahahahahaha!!!! :lol: That's hilarious, Eagle!! *saves it * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 I thought the death rate was higher, but funny nonetheless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 12, 2002 Author Share Posted December 12, 2002 Ok, ok.. And the Al-Queida, who killed 3007 in the attack on WTC. US Army proved stronger than terrorists. But when faced with something in their own nation that kills 34,000(+) people a year, they can't stop it because of the 1st amendment. And if they ban them, the lawyers will sue the state and win, meaning that the USA will have to stop selling tobacco again. Meaning they can stop this army that kills 3000 people, but not one that killes 34,000 a year, because it is a corporation. In this article, I compared the tobacco industry into some Anti-US organisation like the Talibans. I hate explaining jokes .. heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 eh....tobacco is no joke to me. My dad had conjestive heart failure because he smoked for god knows how many years. He had to have surgery and everything. Tobacco is evil. Now I get it. But....people choose to smoke. People didn't choose to go into the WTC to die. That's a big difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 12, 2002 Author Share Posted December 12, 2002 Personally, two grandparents died to tobacco and my second grandmother (on the mother's side) is addicted. So it's no joke to me either -definetly-, but I choose to be a bit tongue-to-cheek about it. Believe me, I'm also being serious about it and I fight for making all tobacco illegal. People do not really choose to smoke. They choose to start, but then they become addicted . So in a way, they choose to smoke, in a way they don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Nine Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 I dunno if I really get it, but I find it ironic you're talking about the EU and smoking because one the biggest qualms I have are with Europeans smoking. Don't get me wrong, I love Europe. But too many people smoke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted December 12, 2002 Share Posted December 12, 2002 xXx is a good anti-smoking film. In Deus Ex u can smoke, but it damages u. Good message. I hate it when people smoke. It stinks (literally), pisses girls off and eventually kills u. I'm never gonna smoke. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 13, 2002 Author Share Posted December 13, 2002 The least the government should do: - Ban ALL tobacco ads - Ban ALL smoking in ALL public eating places - Require the warnings on smoking to cover more of the product. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jatt13 Posted December 13, 2002 Share Posted December 13, 2002 i agree. smoking is disgusting. here's a good analogy for you: kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray. i didn't make it up, i saw it on a poster, but it's probably true. i don't know from expirience, and i don't want to. so, not only does smoke burn your cash, mess up your insides, get you addicted, can kill you, can give you cancer, and makes you a TON more untractive, it also makes your breathe stink. why anyone in their right mind would want to suck smoke down their throat from the end of a burning stick of paper is way beyond me. ok, so i'm walking through the mall, or driving down the road, or am somewhere else, and i see a , and i'm like, "nice. i'd give her an 8 1/2." But then she takes a big puff of her cancer stick and i'm like, "nevermind. make that a negative 8 1/2." and i just wonder "why?" but it still makes no sense. the other day i was at chili's, and i look over to my right, and behind this wall with the upper half glass there's this huge column of smoke coming up. now, being the naturally curious guy i am, i look over the wall (very discreetly, mind you) to see what's on fire or what type of food makes that much smoke. and it's one woman! making a column of smoke as tall and wide as she is! i was disgusted. i think smoking should be banned in all public places, to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 13, 2002 Author Share Posted December 13, 2002 In fact, I just heard it has been in two states in the USA, and in several Canadian and Australian provinces.[patriotic bragging] Also, the current prime minister of Norway has stated that he wants to enforce a nation-wide tobacco ban[/bragging. You may now lynch me]. Several countries have already banned all tobacco ads. I hope that by the time I turn 40, ALL smoking will be banned from at least ONE country in the world. And no, I don't care if there is smuggling or if a couple of people die in demonstrations, because the overall number of deaths would drop like a dive-bombing F-16 suddenly losing all engine power. I mean, narcotics are banned, yet people do drugs. Does that mean we should not ban speed because it doesn't stop people from becoming addicts? Let's just override the 1st amendment and the rest of the world's counterparts to the amendment as well as the lawyers.. and just ban all tobacco. Every form of it. Also, I don't care if the tobacco fields are the only income of some Mexican village. Because, look, it's better that some thousand people starve than that houndreds of thousands die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted December 13, 2002 Share Posted December 13, 2002 Eagle, you should read Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley.. Very good and funny book about the Tobacco Industry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted December 13, 2002 Share Posted December 13, 2002 eh this is a sad day for me. i am so bummed. my fiancee lied to me. he was supposed to quit smoking 2 years ago. every now and again i will catch him and he lies and says he wont do it again. well...the other day i smelled it on him and asked him about it. i got the speech about not trusting him and all the rest. i knew he was though. then today i went to his car to get a cd and found his ciggs. i was sooo upset. not only do i think that smoking is really bad but he lied to me. that hurt very deeply. i went upstairs and asked him face to face if he was smoking and again he lied. i then showed him what i found and he fessed up. i don't know what to do. here i have so many other things to worry about and i am more heart broken then ever. it is our anniversary today and i was going to go shopping this morning. now i am all bummed out and sad that i don't even want to get him anything. he knows that i am upset. i even threatened to leave him because i don't think a marriage should start on the basis of lies. i mean please tell me if i am over-reacting. but i think it is a serious thing to lie to someone and to make them feel bad for accusing you of not trusting them - only to find out that they were just doing that to hide that they are the ones you cannot trust. he cried and said he would not smoke again. but he's said that before. i told him i didn't know what to say anymore. it has ruined my anniversary entirely. i hardly got any sleep last night. i was so sad because you know now that i'm pregnant I have responsibilitys to keep. i can't drink, i can't go around people who smoke. I have to responsible to my "family". He has a responsibilty to his family too. I mean i dont' want him to die of lung cancer - and me sit there and go.."well he never said he smoked!" or him to expose our son to it - or for him to teach my son that it is okay to lie to me. i mean it puts so much distrust. trust me - i love my fiancee deeply - and i think he is a great man. he does good things and works very hard. i just feel like if this is something that he can lie to me so easily about is there other things? why would he hide this stuff so much? he says it was out of fear and partially because he didn't want to admit it. but i think it is deeper than that. he has told me before when he lied to me about it that he wouldn't do it again and here i am in the same situation. i don't know how to fix it or even if i can. sorry - i know this topic is about smoking. i just needed to vent because I haven't gotten any sleep all night, i'm pregnant and tired and have been crying inside all night even though i am trying not to show it. and tonight i don't know what to do about it being our anniversary. i feel so sad i don't want to do anything for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 14, 2002 Author Share Posted December 14, 2002 Ironically, as I post a reply a "quit smoking" ad appear on my screen.. STTCT, you've already got a child and as you said, you've got responsibilities as a parent now. One of those is to stick with the kid as an integrated family. So with all due respect, considering leaving him is overreacting. All couples fight, it's part of life like getting sick for a period of time. You have to get trough it and move on. I've been trough relationship hardships, but marriage is not a relationship -it's beyond a relationship: It's a sacred relationship. Breakup of a family is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. Yes, it's a tragedy that he lied to you, and yes, you can be upset all you want, but forgive him and stick together. My suggestion is you help your boyfriend trough this any way you can. If you take him to a doctor/pharmacy they will give you nicotine patches and stuff that's supposed to help. Get trough it as a team. It's hard to quit smoking, but threatening him is not going to work. Tell him that it's okay and tell him to be open-minded, and that you won't be mad at him if he lights up again. One other suggestion is this: Save up money for something you really want to do, for example for a trip to some nice place. Both of you pool money together. Tell him that when he's quit smoking, you'll spend the money and go do something really nice. It's a great motivator. Oh, and I'm sorry for you. Really. he says it was out of fear and partially because he didn't want to admit it. but i think it is deeper than that. he has told me before when he lied to me about it that he wouldn't do it again and here i am in the same situation. i don't know how to fix it or even if i can. I think it might be that he's ashamed. His way of thinking might be something like "fine, I'll light up this one time and then I'll quit." ...I don't know, I think it's more like pride or a principle or something. I know this hurts, but I think he just want you to believe in him. It's a sign that he loves you and does not want you to worry about him. Just tell him you won't hold it against him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted December 15, 2002 Share Posted December 15, 2002 thanks d. eagle. you said some nice stuff. i was really upset the other day - but as always time heals all pain. i of course did not leave him. heck throw three years down the toilet. but anyways. i think he will be sincere and hopefully he will think of the things that i said the next time he thinks about smoking. i understand its very hard to quit and at his work everyone smokes and its a stressful environment. i'm sure he didn't mean to hurt me - the temptation for the smoke was just probably too strong. but it does not justify it one bit. i hope i made some sence to him about how you know he has a greater purpose now as far as being a rolemodel and a father. also as a husband. he said he told his co-workers that he was quitting and not to offer him any. he said he told them to quit too. i hope he stays strong and will at least tell me the next time he starts to go to the darkside of the force. i tried to emphasize the fact to him that it was more important to me that he not lie than it is that he smoked. you can always quit smoking but it is a lot harder i think to earn someones trust back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dagobahn Eagle Posted December 15, 2002 Author Share Posted December 15, 2002 I'm glad. You're married with a great person. And so is he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted December 15, 2002 Share Posted December 15, 2002 Originally posted by Dagobahn Eagle You're married with a great person. Technically,they arent married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted December 16, 2002 Share Posted December 16, 2002 Originally posted by Dagobahn Eagle In fact, I just heard it has been in two states in the USA, and in several Canadian and Australian provinces.[patriotic bragging] Also, the current prime minister of Norway has stated that he wants to enforce a nation-wide tobacco ban[/bragging. You may now lynch me]. Several countries have already banned all tobacco ads. I hope that by the time I turn 40, ALL smoking will be banned from at least ONE country in the world. And no, I don't care if there is smuggling or if a couple of people die in demonstrations, because the overall number of deaths would drop like a dive-bombing F-16 suddenly losing all engine power. I mean, narcotics are banned, yet people do drugs. Does that mean we should not ban speed because it doesn't stop people from becoming addicts? Let's just override the 1st amendment and the rest of the world's counterparts to the amendment as well as the lawyers.. and just ban all tobacco. Every form of it. Also, I don't care if the tobacco fields are the only income of some Mexican village. Because, look, it's better that some thousand people starve than that houndreds of thousands die. Interesting statement, but not a well thought one. First, not all forms of tobacco are harmful. There is a huge study of the properties of tobacco to find other uses, many in medical, that can be helpful instead of harmfull. Now I am by no means a smoker, but it is there choice to smoke. I also agree with the first admendment in the bill of rights....freedom of speech, assemble, religion. By getting rid of that, we would loose the ability to live how we choose to live. Also, its pretty sterotypical to think that only mexican villages grow tobacco when in fact its not true. Its also a huge cash crop for many states in the US. You also think that it is ethical to starve people to save others...... I am hoping this was a joke post. I am in agreement with you that smoking is harmful and more action needs to be taken. But this post is not the way to do it. No hard feelings, just give it some thought before you post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted December 16, 2002 Share Posted December 16, 2002 wolfman - i didn't get it at first either - but since found out it was a joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted December 16, 2002 Share Posted December 16, 2002 Good, I was under the assumption it was since this thread started with hummor but then it seemed to turn to a more serious tone. I was thinking "clearly, he has to be joking." Its all cool though, thanks to the interpretation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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