Boba Rhett Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Did you ever wonder.... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? How about the first guy to try a chicken egg? Do you consider him brave? How many tries before he cooked it? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're Both dogs! Can blind people see their dreams? Why ARE Trix only for kids? If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Come on say it!) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Who's the first person who looked at a lobster and said, "Yummy!" Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Add some more that you've found or made up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 LOL, some of those are hilarious. Here's one, though it's realy old: Why did Kamikazees wear helmets? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Come on say it!) Testic.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylan Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Lol! I guess some things we'll never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DashRendar Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Pretty good....here's one, though Why are Speedbumps called Speedbumps, when they Slow you down, not Speed you up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Interesting, how about these... If a tree falls on a mime in the middle of a woods, does anyone care? When I want to turn my computer off, I first have to click on "START" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Fergie Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, - Rhett It the principal of the thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted January 20, 2003 Share Posted January 20, 2003 Originally posted by Chase Windu Testical. You all saw it. He provoked me. Provoked you, my ass! You were wanting to say testicle for a lonnng time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 So you're saying he provoked your testicle? You farm boys disgust me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skate Boy Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 I think you got that first one from Calvin and Hobbes. Very nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Here's one: Why do we drive on a parkway, and park in a driveway? Why do drive thru MAC machines have braille on them? How come, at the ages of 18, 19, & 20 you can legally operate heavy machinery, drive a vehicle, own a firearm, die for your country, get married, father/mother children, decide who runs our country, smoke yourself into lung cancer, but you still can't drink a beer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Why is it called a "tugboat" if it mostly pushes? Why do we call them "buildings" if they've already been built? Why do we call them the FIRE department? Kinda sounds like they go around starting fires... We don't call the Police the Crime Deptart, now do we? We should call them the Fire EXTINGUISHING Department! and to be a smarty-pants, here's the answer to "Why we call it a parkway": It is called a parkway because when they were built, they all ran through the national parks (and still do)....that's the entire reason...as far as the driveway part...uh, 'cause you have to drive up to your house before you park.........heh...not really sure about that one... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Originally posted by Darth Homer and to be a smarty-pants, here's the answer to "Why we call it a parkway": It is called a parkway because when they were built, they all ran through the national parks (and still do)....that's the entire reason...as far as the driveway part...uh, 'cause you have to drive up to your house before you park.........heh...not really sure about that one... Smart Ass! It was rhetorical, you putz. I knew the answer, I was simply trying to encourage thought. *Takes off a shoe and throws it at Homer* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 I don't know about you guys, but i park in a garage...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Originally posted by Tie Guy I don't know about you guys, but i park in a garage...... Oi Vay! [Dark Helmet] "I knew it, I'm surrounded by Ass *****!"[/Dark Helmet] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Originally posted by Havoc Stryphe Why do drive thru MAC machines have braille on them? Answer: It is cheaper for the company to produce only one unit instead of two. Since they can/are placed where the blind can access them they need to have braille. --------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc Stryphe Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Originally posted by Admiral Answer: It is cheaper for the company to produce only one unit instead of two. Since they can/are placed where the blind can access them they need to have braille. --------------------------- AARrrrgghh!!!! *pulls out hair* I Know!!!!! It was rhetorical!!! It was simply meant to encourage fun thought and witty banter! How come you guys don't poke holes in Rhett's thought provoking questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Originally posted by Havoc Stryphe *Takes off a shoe and throws it at Homer* *shoe hits Homer* Ow! That really hurt. I'm going to have a lump there, you idiot! Who throws a shoe? Honesty, You fight like a woman.... also, it's become fun to decontruct your questions because you fuss about it so well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 exactly. Now on to things to ponder: Why do we use "PH" instead of just using "F". (I know the reason but think about it) And If a letter is silient then why is it in the word. I say lets remove these extra letters and make spelling easier. For instance make Photo into Foto, or Climb into Clim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tie Guy Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Yeah, good point, Admiral. and tell me, if you are inventing a language, why on earth would you make a word that is frickin irregular! It's your language, why would you do any differently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Originally posted by Admiral Why do we use "PH" instead of just using "F". (I know the reason but think about it) Because "*****" just looks cooler. EDIT: Wow! I can't believe that's censored!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy_dog no.3 Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Like this? (mature forummers only) Guys this just looks *****ing wierd why don't we stop *****ing doing it and get on with our *****ing posting! I hope I don't get banned for this. EDIT: Why the ***** was it censored?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eets Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Probably because it's an easy way to say **** without really SAYING ****.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 well ****...I can't ****ing believe they won't let you say ****, ****, or damn....hey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 More Points: Who was the first proctologist, and why? Why are there words that sound exactly the same but have different meanings.? Why couldn't they make the word sound differently is that so hard. Examples: Two, To, Too, or Desert Dessert... Who was the first man to say: "I have a fun idea, let me sharpen these blades, throw boards across them and slide down that mountian face first, and try to go as fast as I can." To all the people who say: "If god meant for humans to fly we would have been born with wings. Well if god meant for humans to wear clothes we would have been born with them." Follow this logic, it will be interesting. How did swear words become swear words? What makes a book a classic? (I've asked english teachers, none could give me a good answer, most say they don't know). How come there is Old English, there isn't Old French, or Old German? Isn't it strange that a huge, heavy battleship has no trouble floating but a small penny sinks. (Once again I know the reason but still interesting to think about) How decided that inhaling Helium was a good idea? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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