ZBomber Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court". These were actually said in court, word by word. Enjoy. Q: When is your date of birth? A: July 15. Q: What Year? A: Every year. ------ Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ------ Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forgot. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you have forgotten? ------ Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or Thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years ------ Q:What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Kathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. ------ Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably somewhere between milepost 498 and 500. ------ Q: Did you blow your horn or anything? A: After the accident? Q: Before the accident. A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it. ------ Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? ------ Q: The youngest son, the 20 year old; how old is he? ------ Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clemme w/Stick Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 Its been posted b4..... But its funny anywho.... -Clemme Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greedo626 Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 haha. those are great. the first one really cracks me up:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZBomber Posted March 18, 2003 Author Share Posted March 18, 2003 Originally posted by Clemme w/Stick Its been posted b4..... But its funny anywho.... -Clemme crap >.< I thought I was the only one who knew about this. *Goes to search* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greedo626 Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 Originally posted by ZBomber crap >.< I thought I was the only one who knew about this. *Goes to search* lol, I thought you were the one who posted this before:p [edit] oh, it was Bilbo:p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZBomber Posted March 18, 2003 Author Share Posted March 18, 2003 Oh well I'm gonna post more funny things in here every Saturday, so please keep it open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably somewhere between milepost 498 and 500. that one cracks me up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hekx Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 I'm going to try some of those if I go to court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHobGoblin Posted March 18, 2003 Share Posted March 18, 2003 lmao these are gold mines! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted March 19, 2003 Share Posted March 19, 2003 Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York? A. I refuse to answer that question. Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago? A. I refuse to answer that question. Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami? A. No. Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By death. Q. And by whose death was it terminated? Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods? A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable? A. I should be. Q. How many times have you committed suicide? A. Four times. Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people. Q. Were you acquainted with the deceased? A. Yes, sir. Q. Before or after he died? Q. What happened then? A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me." Q. Did he kill you? A. No. Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears? A. No. Q. What was he doing with the dog’s ears? A. Picking them up in the air. Q. Where was the dog at this time? A. Attached to the ears. Q. What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A. She is my daughter. Q. Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979? you can thank wacky_baccy for those Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.