My english paper for tomorrow! Needs work!

[Clemme w/Stick]

Heres my english paper for tomorrow. I'm quite happy the way it has turned out so far. It needs help though, and thats why I have turned to you guys.

Well, here goes.

 

[align=center]The Runaway[/align]

 

”Going to be another hot day,” Hank Spano said to himself as he climbed out of his old red Buick and walked across the parking lot to his diner. He fished a big bunch of keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the back door and went inside. He switched on the coffee-maker and got donuts out of the freezer before he unlocked the street door and switched on the electric sign: Hank’s Diner.

“Yep, it sure is going to be another scorcher,” he said, standing in the doorway and looking up at the cloudless sky.

It was just as he turned to go back inside that he first saw the kid…

 

The kid was standing right behind him, and just looked at him without saying anything. The kid didn’t look old, maybe about 7-10 years and not very tall or thick. He was just like an ordinary kid would look like in that age.

“How old are you?” Hank asked in a soft, calm voice.

“My mother says that I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.” the boy replied in a low voice.

“Well, my mother said the same, when I was about your age kid,” He said in a laughing voice. “I’m Hank, Hank Spano and I’m the owner of this diner.” Hank said to introduce himself to the boy.

“My name is Marshall,” Marshall replied. “Now that we aren’t strangers to each other anymore, I can talk to you.” He said.

“Good,” Hank laughed and went inside, and that’s when he turned around and looked at the boy and asked: “Want to come inside, instead of standing there?”

The boy gave him a soft nod, and followed Hank, into the diner. It wasn’t a big diner, nor was it a small diner. It was just the right size for a nice diner out by the open road. There were a couple of tables there, and a long counter with chairs along side it. It was those kinds of chairs that you find in bars. Behind the counter were a radio and a sign. On the sign Hank wrote the menu down, so that he wouldn’t have to make menu cards. Today’s special was spaghetti and meatballs. Marshall was hungry, he hadn’t had breakfast yet, and it was past 10 o’clock. He was used to have his breakfast about 8 o’clock, and that was 2 hours ago. He looked up at Hank and said:

“Hank, I’m hungry.”

Hank looked down at him and said: “Hm, what can we do about that?” “Oh, I know, do you want a donut? It’s on the house.”

“Yes please,” Marshall replied in a low voice.

“It will take a minute or 2, and then you’ll have the first donut of the day.” Hank said to Marshall and smiled at him.

“Thank you.” Marshall said in the best way he had learned at home.

While waiting for the donut to finish, he looked around in the diner. It was nice there, and it reminded him of his home, which he was beginning to miss. He didn’t want to start crying, because he was a big boy now. He ran away from home, and to do that, you had to be a big boy, and big boys don’t cry. Outside the sun, had made the temperature rise, and it was getting rather hot. The weather report had just been on the radio, and they said that the temperatures were at an all time high this year. Not only was it only April, but also about 20 degrees centigrade, and that’s a lot considering the fact that it was April just made it all worse, or better, depending on the point of view. The donut was just about done, so Hank gave it to Marshall and said:

“Bon appetite, little man.”

“Thanks,” Marshall replied in a happy voice. “So do you have a phone here, that I could borrow?”

“Yeah, I have one in the back. You can borrow it as soon as you have finished the donut.” Hank said.

Marshall finished the donut, with chocolate glazing and said thanks. He then wanted to go and use the phone, to call his parents when a police officer came through the door, and sat next to Marshall. Then there were something more interesting than calling his parents. The police officer ringed the bell on the counter, and then Hank came in.

“Can I get you anything?” Hank asked the officer.

“Yes, you could get me 2 donuts and a cup of coffee.” The officer said in a hard voice.

“You want anything on top of the donuts?” Hank asked again. “It wont cost you anything extra.”

“No thank you, just regular donuts.” The officer replied.

“2 regular donuts and a cup of coffee coming right up” Hank said in a happy voice. Hank always sounded happy, he had to do that, or he might scare off the costumers. It also was his policy. Always smile and be kind to the costumers.

 

What do you think? This is how it looks so far. Like I said it needs some work, and help. Constructive critism[sp?] is welcome !

 

Thx in advance!

 

-Clemme

[Taos]

Sentence structure and spelling looks good from what I can tell. This is only part way done?

[Clemme w/Stick]

Originally posted by Leemu Taos

This is only part way done?

 

eh?!

 

-Clemme

[greedo626]

it looks pretty good to me so far:thumbsup:. though at the part where you're talking about the sun heating things up outside, I don't think you need the commas:

 

Outside the sun, had made the temperature rise, and it was getting rather hot.

 

I think it would be fine like this:

 

Outside the sun had made the temperature rise and it was getting rather hot.

 

when you proof read it make sure you have the correct punctuation. other than that it looks well written.

[Clemme w/Stick]

Thank you very much.

I will have the finished paper up in a few minutes, so keep tuned for more action !

 

-Clemme

[Clemme w/Stick]

Well, heres the final paper. I just need to read it through, correct any errors, and get the right punctuation.

 

[align=center]The Runaway[/align]

 

”Going to be another hot day,” Hank Spano said to himself as he climbed out of his old red Buick and walked across the parking lot to his diner. He fished a big bunch of keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the back door and went inside. He switched on the coffee-maker and got donuts out of the freezer before he unlocked the street door and switched on the electric sign: Hank’s Diner.

“Yep, it sure is going to be another scorcher,” he said, standing in the doorway and looking up at the cloudless sky.

It was just as he turned to go back inside that he first saw the kid…

 

The kid was standing right behind him, and just looked at him without saying anything. The kid didn’t look old, maybe about 7-10 years and not very tall or thick. He was just like an ordinary kid would look like in that age.

“How old are you?” Hank asked in a soft, calm voice.

“My mother says that I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.” the boy replied in a low voice.

“Well, my mother said the same, when I was about your age kid,” He said in a laughing voice. “I’m Hank, Hank Spano and I’m the owner of this diner.” Hank said to introduce himself to the boy.

“My name is Marshall,” Marshall replied. “Now that we aren’t strangers to each other anymore, I can talk to you.” He said.

“Good,” Hank laughed and went inside, and that’s when he turned around and looked at the boy and asked: “Want to come inside, instead of standing there?”

The boy gave him a soft nod, and followed Hank, into the diner. It wasn’t a big diner, nor was it a small diner. It was just the right size for a nice diner out by the open road. There were a couple of tables there, and a long counter with chairs along side it. It was those kinds of chairs that you find in bars. Behind the counter were a radio and a sign. On the sign Hank wrote the menu down, so that he wouldn’t have to make menu cards. Today’s special was spaghetti and meatballs. Marshall was hungry, he hadn’t had breakfast yet, and it was past 10 o’clock. He was used to have his breakfast about 8 o’clock, and that was 2 hours ago. He looked up at Hank and said:

“Hank, I’m hungry.”

Hank looked down at him and said: “Hm, what can we do about that?” “Oh, I know, do you want a donut? It’s on the house.”

“Yes please,” Marshall replied in a low voice.

“It will take a minute or 2, and then you’ll have the first donut of the day.” Hank said to Marshall and smiled at him.

“Thank you.” Marshall said in the best way he had learned at home.

While waiting for the donut to finish, he looked around in the diner. It was nice there, and it reminded him of his home, which he was beginning to miss. He didn’t want to start crying, because he was a big boy now. He ran away from home, and to do that, you had to be a big boy, and big boys don’t cry. Outside the sun, had made the temperature rise, and it was getting rather hot. The weather report had just been on the radio, and they said that the temperatures were at an all time high this year. Not only was it only April, but also about 20 degrees centigrade, and that’s a lot considering the fact that it was April just made it all worse, or better, depending on the point of view. The donut was just about done, so Hank gave it to Marshall and said:

“Bon appetite, little man.”

“Thanks,” Marshall replied in a happy voice. “So do you have a phone here, that I could borrow?”

“Yeah, I have one in the back. You can borrow it as soon as you have finished the donut.” Hank said.

Marshall finished the donut, with chocolate glazing and said:

“Thanks.”

He then wanted to go and use the phone, to call his parents when a police officer came through the door, and sat next to Marshall. Then there were something more interesting than calling his parents. The police officer ringed the bell on the counter, and then Hank came in.

“Can I get you anything?” Hank asked the officer.

“Yes, you could get me 2 donuts and a cup of coffee.” The officer said in a hard voice.

“You want anything on top of the donuts?” Hank asked again. “It wont cost you anything extra.”

“No thank you, just regular donuts.” The officer replied.

“2 regular donuts and a cup of coffee coming right up” Hank said in a happy voice. Hank always sounded happy, he had to do that, or he might scare off the costumers. It also was his policy. Always smile and be kind to the costumers, and that was his policy. He was very proud of it, and didn’t do anything that would strive against it. Hank was truly a man worthy of recognition, but he didn’t get the recognition that he deserved. If he had lived in the big city he might have, but the fact is that he lived out in the countryside, and there wasn’t the same opportunities as in the big city, and that’s why he didn’t get the recognition that he deserved.

Well, the donuts were done, and they were therefore brought to the police officer. Hank came smiling into the room, with the donuts on a small plate and gave it to the officer and said:

“Coffee is almost ready.”

“Ok, thanks for the donuts Hank.” the officer replied in a happy tone. He looked at Marshall and asked in a curious tone: “What brings a boy your age all the way out here?”

“I ran away from home.” Marshall replied in a low voice. He wasn’t proud of it anymore; he just wanted to go home.

“Why did you run away?” the officer asked again.

“All I remember was that my parents had a fight, and then I ran away to avoid being there.” Marshall said in response, his voice was now close to crackling into crying.

“I’m going to the town, you want me to get your parents, or do you want to come along and have me drop you off?” the officer asked in a very kind voice.

Marshall sniffed, and said: “Could you get them to come here? I would feel safer if they came to get me.”

“Sure, of course I can do that.” the officer replied with a grin on his lips.

Just as Marshall was telling where he lived, the officer got a call about a missing boy. He reported back, and went to investigate the matter. He got the call in the middle of the well-known donut-dipping thing, which policemen do. They take their donut, and then they dip it in the coffee, and they keep doing it until the donut is gone.

When the officer had left the diner, Marshall went out back to play with the scrap metal there. Hank had a somewhat junkyard for scrap metal out back, and it was an ideal playground for a 10 year old boy. As Marshall was playing out back, Hank watched the diner, and near the closing hour Marshall’s parents came to pick him up. They went into the diner, because they wanted to speak with Hank about Marshall.

“Hello,” Marshall’s father said in a calm voice.

“Hello,” Hank replied. “You must be Marshall’s parents,” he said calmly.

“Yes we are.” They answered at the same time, and started to laugh.

“You must be very proud of him.” Hank said in a low, yet determined voice.

“We are,” They replied in a very low voice. “We love him more than anything.”

“Too bad, that you don’t know why he ran away.” Hank said very low.

“And you know why he did?” they asked surprised.

“Yes, I do,” Hank, said calm. “He ran away, because you had a fight. He was scared so he just ran away,” he said. “Remember that you don’t want to fight in front of children, or when they can hear you, because they get scared and don’t know how to say it, and that’s why he ran away.” Hank said.

“Really?” they asked very surprised.

“Yeah.” Hank said. “Well, he got here this morning, and he has been here all day.”

“Then where is he?” they asked impatiently.

“He is out back, by the scrap metal junkyard, he played there most of the day.” Hank said.

The parents went out back to look for him, but they couldn’t find him there. They got worried and started looking for him. Unfortunately they couldn’t find him there, and got scared that he might have gotten trapped beneath some metal and couldn’t get out. They called for Hank, and told him that they couldn’t find him. All three started to search for him, without any luck. After an hour they went back inside. They were all afraid that he had gotten hurt.

As they entered the main room, they got a surprise. Marshall had taken his place right on the same chair as when he first arrived there. His parents were so happy to see him that they started to cry. About half an hour later they got into the car, and drove home. They promised each other that they wouldn’t fight any more, and Hank stood at his diner waving them off. Then he looked to the sky and said: “It wasn’t that hot a day after all.” and smiled.

He went back inside, turned off the electric sign, and closed up and drove home in his red old Buick.

 

So what do you think?

 

-Clemme

[Eldritch]

Originally posted by Clemme w/Stick

“My mother says that I’m not allowed to talk to strangers.” the boy replied in a low voice.

“Well, my mother said the same, when I was about your age kid,” He said in a laughing voice. “I’m Hank, Hank Spano and I’m the owner of this diner.” Hank said to introduce himself to the boy.

“My name is Marshall,” Marshall replied. “Now that we aren’t strangers to each other anymore, I can talk to you.” He said.

Been watching Forrest Gump again, have we?

 

Like Greedo said, aside from a few spelling errors it looks pretty good. But like Leemu was trying to say (I think), it needs a better ending. It just sort of stops. Try and wrap it up a little better. Also, customers is misspelled. It's customers not costumers. If he was helping costumers, it might be around Halloween time.

I find what helps me with my papers is to print out a copy and read it out loud - something about reading it on a computer... you just don't pick up the errors. And make sure to read it out loud, 'cause it helps you pick up grammar mistakes you might've missed.

[Ack]

nice

[dvader28]

spotted a spelling mistake:

 

"he had to do that or he'd scare off the COSTUMERS"

 

methinks it should be customers

[Breton]

Great story! There is, however, a few things I would like to point out.

 

First, and most important, you are switching between using capital letters and not using them after someone says something.

 

Example: "“No thank you, just regular donuts.” The officer replied."

"“Why did you run away?” the officer asked again. "

 

Now, I am pretty sure it's supposed to not be capital letters after someone say something.

 

And there is a few other things I would like to point out:

 

"“My name is Marshall,” Marshall replied. “Now that we aren’t strangers to each other anymore, I can talk to you.” He said. "

 

Methinks it's a bit quick to use "Marshall replied" just after he introduces himself. "He replied" might be better. Though that's only an opinion. Also, I don't think it's nessisary to use "He said" after the other sentence, as Marshall still is talking, if you know what I mean.

 

 

"If he had lived in the big city he might have, but the fact is that he lived out in the countryside,": "been living"/ "was living" I belive is a more correct way of writing it. But please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

 

And last, but not least, I think the ending is slightly hurried.

 

 

But these are only small "problems", the story was great.

[Lost Welshman]

I like English lessons they're fun!!!! I'll post my English thing later. Its funny, I think?

 

flEEB!

[Pisces]

Originally posted by Lost Welshman

I like English lessons they're fun!!!!

 

You're drunk aren't you?

 

Anyway, nice work Clemme.

[Pedantic]

Aside from the grammatical errors, your paper could use some sentence variation. As I was reading it, I got the sense that it was the same sentence structure, over and over and over again. And try using verbs other than "being" ones--mix it up a bit. Those are my suggestions--although, they might be a bit late now.

[Brodin]

Hell, might as well get some feedback on my english story

 

Doin a project. actually, ive already handed this in and got a 97% on it. It has a few errors i know, but id like some feedback, since im thinkin of addin to it and publishing it on the internet or something, just as a hobby

 

Title Undisclosed

By: Brodin

 

As CPT. John Winters sprinted and dove into the allied trench, he felt a huge explosion ripple out to the left of him. The shockwave from the blast sent troops flying through the air.

He swore. Very loudly. ‘The fleet didn’t know we’d gotten this far up onto the beach’, he thought, ‘What a way to die. By artillery fire, from his own side of the war.’

Then, when he pulled himself off the ground he realized that it wasn’t the allied fleet which was firing upon them. It was the enemy defguns! They were being shelled on the beach by anti-ship guns! He heard another shell go flying over his head and smash into the ground, laying waste to a huge area where he had been not ten seconds before.

Assembling some troops, many not even part of his own company, he charged forward with them towards a small hill which they could take cover behind for a while. Once they had reached the cover of the hill, John looked around at the men who had followed him. He noticed a good friend of his, and a fine soldier he was, LT1. Ryan Henley.

‘Now, I may not be your designated commander for this operation,’ began John, ‘but I’m afraid we’re going to have to make do. We’ve lost hundreds of men already, and we can’t afford to loose any more trying to sort out our battle groups. We’re going to have to work together on this one.’

Suddenly, they noticed another soldier come running towards them. Just before he reached the cover of the hill, his chest exploded and blood was sprayed all over. John swore again. He noticed that the man was a Private. Though the man was of lower ranking than himself, he had met him earlier. He was a young man, fearless, who had never fought a battle before in his life.

‘I NEED COVERING FIRE!’ Winters screamed at the men as he ran towards the fallen Private’s body. Once he reached the man, who was clearly dead, he ripped the dog-tag from his neck and quickly retrieved the letter from the pocket on his left breast.

Quickly, he ran back to the others and pulled a map from his belt.

‘In a moment,’ explained Winters, ‘We’re going to advance up the right side over there,’ he pointed to a spot about a hundred yards from them.

‘Once we’re there, I want men here, here and here,’ he said, pointing to strategic locations on his map. One of the men, a Corporal, and another, a Sergeant, volunteered to set up a browning machine gun at the northeastern spot of where they were to set up once they were up the hill.

Ryan Henley pointed to the map and stated, ‘Sir, I believe they will have snipers watching this pass. We’d better stay low and see if we can hike around the other side.’

‘Good point Ryan,’ replied Winters, looking at the map once again. He talked quietly to Henley for a bit. After a moment, he turned back to the men and gave them their orders. They were to advance up the hill. He needed covering fire from the assault troops so that the allied scouts could get into position in a bell tower atop a nearby now abandoned church building. Then, the other troops were to set up machine guns along the eastern wall while the engineers secured tank entry positions with landmines and TNT.

‘On my mark we go…’

 

‘3…..2……1…..MARK!’

At that, the troops ran, and ran fast. As they sprinted up the eastern pass to the cover of a bunker, their first checkpoint, a hail of bullets is all around them.

All of a sudden one of the soldiers cried out, ‘Aauuughhh my leg!’

‘WHAT?’ screamed Winters.

‘They shot me Sir! In the leg!’

‘I’m sorry Sir! I didn’t mean to screw up!’

Winters pulled the man to his feet and dragged him the rest of the distance to the bunker. Just as he pulled the man inside, he heard a bullet go flying past his head- a near miss.

Leaning against the wall of the bunker, Henley saw an Axis soldier standing just outside, priming a stick grenade.

‘Oh no you don’t!’ yelled Henley.

‘Don’t what?’ asked Winters.

Henley ran over to a supply closet and grabbed a lead pipe as his fellow soldiers looked at him in wonder. He ran outside just as the Axis soldier was throwing the grenade. Just before it hit them, he smashed the grenade right back towards the fleeing enemy troop. Landing right beside him, the grenade went off and sent the Axis man flying through the air.

When he ran back into the bunker, the Allied troops couldn’t help but laugh. All Henley did was shrug and say, ‘Always knew knowing how to play baseball would come in handy.’

‘Well, we’ve made it this far, but we’re not going to accomplish anything by sitting here and waiting. Our scouts have spotted a couple enemy tanks. They are currently shelling the beach right now. As well, there are troops preparing for assault here and here,’ he said, once again pointing to his map.

Yet again they advanced, this time making it behind enemy forces. Tank shells scattered them. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Troops were being shot and ripped apart by enemy gun emplacements and tanks.

Minutes later, though it seemed like hours to most of the troops, the assault was over. The enemy had destroyed most of the squad and what was left of it was hidden, yet to be found.

Winters and Henley were alone. They couldn’t see any other Allied troops and decided to advance on their own. They walked down a large field about an hour later, once the enemy troops and vehicles had cleared off. Shortly after they had started, Winters heard the sound of tank tracks, that dreaded squeaky sound. He whispered for Henley to get down, and they both hit the dirt.

Too late. They had been spotted. They heard the cries of the German soldiers, ‘Hey! Blick dort! Feindliche Truppen! Bereiten Sie Granaten vor!’

Henley knew they were in trouble at the word Granaten. This meant they were about to be bombarded with German pipe grenades. Quickly, as though they could read each other thoughts, Henley and Winters jumped from the ground and sprinted as fast as they could in the opposite direction. It was no use. They were trapped. Just when they thought they were safe, another company of enemy troops advanced over the next hill.

They were trapped. It was no use. There was nowhere to run. Capture was inevitable. They were bound with ropes and marched to the main German camp where they were held captive for questioning.

‘Great,’ muttered Winters to Henley when they were alone in the prison area of the outpost, ‘Just what we need. To be interrogated. Remember, whatever happens, tell them nothing.’

Right then, one of the German officers came in and cursed at them in German. Then, switching to English he said, with a very German accent, ‘Curse you filthy Americans. Curse you and your stupidity.’

With that, Henley could take no more. He spat on the officers shoe and swore in German at the officer. Winters didn’t understand what he said, but you didn’t need to speak German to realize that it was something horrible.

‘Sie zahlen schmutzigen Amerikaner, you will pay!’ hissed the German officer at Henley. With that, he stormed out of the room but not before spinning around and launching his glass bottle of whiskey at them. Glass shards flew through the air and one even grazed Winters, giving him a nice gash just under his right knee.

Quickly, before the German officer realized what he had done, Winters picked up a shard of glass and began cutting at his cords. Seeing this, Henley quickly copied him. After about ten minutes of hard labor, they had successfully cut the cords and knocked on the door of their cell. One of the guards, hearing this, came to see what was going on. When he opened the door, Winters and Henley quickly knocked him into an unconscious state and took his keys and weapons.

Once free from the containment area, they ran towards the nearest bunker. They had not yet been spotted and nobody knew that they had escaped. In the bunker they found a stash of grenades and other weapons.

‘We’ll use these,’ said Winters, ‘if need be, we’ll take over this camp on our own.’

Henley grabbed some TNT and pipe grenades, as well as a gun for himself- he had been using Winters’ pistol since they had escaped from the containment area. Winters did the same.

‘Ok, according to this map, there are gun emplacements here, here and here,’ said Henley pointing to a map on the wall of the bunker, ‘we’ll need to take out those.’

‘Also, we’re going to have to take out these defguns so the ships can get into a better position.’

‘What about the command post?’

‘Grenades.’

‘Right.’

With that, they set off to do what they had to do. Not a minute after they had left their hiding spot in the bunker, they encountered a troop of enemies who, luckily were getting ready to head into battle and didn’t notice the two sneak past them into a house which had now been abandoned.

A few silent moments later, they had come across an enemy bunker which was currently being used to shell the Allied landing beach with machine guns. Winters gave a hand signal to Henley, who nodded.

With his fingers, Henley counted down…3…2…1…on one, they both pulled out the pins on two of their grenades and threw them into the back of the bunker. After they had thrown the grenades, they jumped away from the bunker into a small defensive trench. Three seconds later they heard yells and explosions and saw the bodies of enemy soldiers fly from the from of the bunker.

‘Right, one bunker down…two to go,’ said Henley, ‘we’re going to have to take out those defguns Sir. The fleet isn’t going to last much longer with them firing like that.’

‘Right. The eastern defgun will have to be destroyed first. It’s got the better view of the fleet and seems to be causing much more damage.’

‘Looks like the other one is firing at the beach.’

‘It is. But it’s firing at an area that has been abandoned. It won’t be hitting anything.’

‘Let’s go then. The eastern defgun it is.’

With that, they sprinted along a trench, being very careful not to be spotted. Silently, they crept up on the eastern defgun and planted TNT sticks right under the rotating cannon of the weapon. Once the charges were set, they ran a wire quickly along the trench to about fifty feet away.

The explosion that the TNT caused was massive. Much larger than the two soldiers had expected. It succeeded not only in destroying the defgun, but the Axis command post as well.

‘My god…looks like all the ammunition from the defgun exploded when we set off the TNT,’ said Winters, turning to Henley.

They sprinted once again along the dugout trench, but were spotted by enemy forces. Amidst a hail of gunfire, they managed to get to a slightly protected position where they could stand up, fire, then crouch down again. Using this process they managed to kill off most of their attackers.

With the lower beach almost secured, they ran to the Axis flagpole and pulled down the flag. In its place, they raised an Allied flag, a signal to the Allied troops.

For the soldiers on the beach, the Allied flag brought a new beacon of hope. Many of them had lost all the hope that they had. Now with the lower beach captured, there was a great uproar from the soldiers down on the landing beach. They jumped up and ran, some walked because wounds slowed them, up the hill to the Winters and Henley. Since Winters was the superior officer as far as he could see, he took command of the troops.

‘Listen up everybody!’ he yelled over the noise of gunfire, ‘I need you to advance up to the upper town area and secure it. This way, we can land our vehicles and set up a new base here!’

Winters and Henley quickly went over some plans and made sure every soldier had a job to do. In a matter of minutes, the whole army had sprung into action. There were Allied troops everywhere, running up the road or scaling a small hill to sneak up on the Axis forces.

It was only a few short hours before the area was totally captured and under Allied control. Prisoners were marched and held in what used to be their own containment areas. When Winters and Henley went to check on the prisoners, they noticed that one of the men amongst the prisoners was the very man who had allowed them to get free. It was the German soldier who had thrown the glass bottle at Henley while they were being held captive.

The next day, Winters and Henley were airlifted back to the Allied headquarters and were both promoted. Winters became a Major, and Henley, a Captain. They were given many awards and honors, for if they had not encountered the events that they did, the Allied troops would never have won the battle.

Winters and Henley were assigned to a new battle group, but were kept together by their requests. In later battles, they didn’t let their new rankings affect them. They fought along side the new recruits and all the others.

Twenty years later, an undocumented story is finally put to paper. One of the greatest stories of WW2. As I sit here and reflect, I remember my good friend, Captain Ryan Henley, who died a peaceful death last year. He was given a full, honorable military funeral, and his memory will be remembered forever.

My funeral, whether it be more or less glorious than Ryan Henley’s, will come soon, for I, General John Winters, twenty years after the glorious battle of Omaha Beach, am myself, dying of cancer.

[Brodin]

Please note, that the above story is NOT factual, i just made it up based on me running around the map as well as adding my own features from BF1942