*Radio Free Saturn*

[Zoom Rabbit]

What is Radio Free Saturn, you say? For those of us who haven't seen this before, RFS is basically a creative writing thread. Or a place to share song lyrics. Or a place for your latest whacked-out photoshop gif. RFS is an underground radio station, hacked into the mighty LF digital empire with scotch tape and speaker wire, leaking insanity into the electric membrane of the world wide web itself.

 

However, it is not spam. I mean it.

 

What we post in this thread can be over-the-top, it can be crazy out of the box type stuff...but not *spam.* I have given my PERSONAL ASSURANCE that RFS will be an outlet for Aresen's creative energies...but not a spam thread. So, please join in the madness--but no silly sh*t like:

 

^_^

 

...Or...

 

lol XD

 

(As the entire text of a post, anyway. That kind of stuff is okay, as long as it isn't the only thing you have to say.)

 

Are we clear on this? A post in RFS should at least reward the reader with a laugh or two for having downloaded the page just to see what you posted. Spam...is that which wastes the reader's time. Lecture over.

 

My first broadcast is from Baghdad.

 

'Yeah, this is Joe Smith from Pizza Hutt International. Listen, I'm in town a day or two longer, so I'll be stopping back in to our new Saddam City outlet just to make sure things are running smoothly, and you guys don't have that darn camel in the kitchen again. I realize that American ways may be a little new to your crew, but I was alarmed when I found you were using dung patties in the gas-fired pizza oven. I also want to make sure that there are no more land mines buried in the parking lot (we can't afford to buy non-coverage from CNN if it happens again) and the drivers know how to wear the kevlar flak gear properly. The troops will start leaving town right after I do, so it's vital to the financial success of our overseas holdings that we improve survivability for our labor pool in the uncertain business years ahead. Isn't democracy wonderful?'

 

...Next?

[Ray Jones]

oh well this is ray jones speakin from over other side of there where you are, man there are a lot of things going on here. dear mr. potty this is the most freaking freaking experience ever since i do this job here.

oh oh.. a frightening situation, there are still unsecure areas left, no question there will be hard fights for the best positions here! and as i can see it right now there .. . ......

oh my good mr. potty look!!!!!, .. look at this!! holy mr. potty..

it's unbelievable .. what a glorious death...

i dont know if we got this for our hearers but just a second ago some huge assed woman came down to the seat and smashed that tiny little old man sitting and thinking harmless stuff like "i have to get out next station" .. he wasnt even able for one last "eek" before the last bit of life left him.

that is so gruesome. i need a break. i'll be right back.

reporting live from the underground trains for RFS,

my name is ray jones.

[Sivy]

hello and welcome to Poets’ corner

 

here are two poems i wish to recite to you...

 

Skip PipTip Nip Snip

 

Sh*t Hit Bit Tit

Cut Tut Butt Shut

Brow now how cow

Clown brown frown down

Funny money honey

Coney phoney baloney

Horny corny

Born horn torn

Bore yore tore

Pork cork York

Dig pig big SIG stig

Dug plug tug glug

Glue pooh you

Me three key tea tree

House mouse moose loose

SPIDERS!

 

The Nose and The Eye

 

The nose and the eye

I don't know why

But the nose and the eye

Goodbye

 

thats all the time we have for today.. but be sure to tune in next week for more Poets' Corner

 

goodbye

[Kuuki]

Anchorman: "...And now for the daily Weather Report from the 'Almighty Blargman' himself, Kookee!"

 

 

*Camera 2, pointing at a semi crazed individual.*\

 

Kookee: "Thank you. Now for todays weather. Inside the Aresen shack presently a nice 72°F, and a bitter 22°C. Outside is freezing." *eyes shift* "So, I don't know how cold it is outside!!"

 

*Runs away.*

[Kylilin]

for my first post in this new edition of radio free saturn, I'd like to tell a joke.

 

 

 

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

 

 

 

The taste!!!!

 

[Philocleon]

Hello, and welcome to useful sex tips. Today's tip comes from one of our listeners who observed someone doing some sexual experimentation. This is his report on a safe sex drill.

 

The child held the old T.P. roll carefully, thoughtful not to misshape the hole.

 

That's today's tip for the day, and thank you for tuning in.

[Kuuki]

Anchorman "We appologise for the last two preformers. For both were taking the thread into a point where lack of orginality and obsenties were thought nessesary. They will be shot in the back of their heads, and buried in shallow graves for that."

[Kylilin]

someone's missing the point of this thread.

so i'll point you to the original: Radio Free Saturn

 

 

 

Penne ai Carciofi (Penne with artichokes)

 

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

1 onion, finely chopped

2 ounces pancetta, diced

5 artichokes, cleaned, thinly sliced and held in acidulated water

Salt and pepper

1 cup dry white wine

1 pound penne

2 eggs

2 tablespoons grated Parmigiano-Reggiano

 

In a saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium-low heat and add the onion and pancetta, stirring until the onion is soft but not browned, about 10 minutes. Drain the artichokes and add them to the pan, stir to mix well, cover and leave to stew for another 10 minutes.

Bring 3 quarts of water to a boil and add 1 tablespoon salt. Season the artichokes with salt, then add the wine to the artichokes, a little at a time, adding more once the wine evaporates. Once wine evaporates, add boiling water to just cover the vegetables, cover and cook for 30 minutes, until artichokes have fully absorbed water and vegetables are tender. Remove from the heat and set aside.

 

Bring 6 quarts of water to a boil and add 2 tablespoons salt. Add the penne and cook according to package directions, until tender yet al dente. While the pasta cooks, return the artichokes to low heat. Beat the eggs in a small bowl and then beat in the grated cheese. Once the artichokes are hot, remove the pan from heat and slowly stir the egg mixture into the artichokes. Drain the pasta and toss with the artichoke mixture.

[SuicidalXWing]

And now a word from one of our sponsors:

 

*cheery music playing*

 

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Simply take our 3 week at home course.

 

"Murder once shame on me, Murder Twice I blame you."

 

Our incomprehensive course will have you blaming others within no time at all. The course begins with small problems such as spilled milk and that broken vase, before moving onto the serious problems of too many dead bodies buried around the house.

 

And for those who do get caught, the course also teaches you how to lie, bribe, extort, blackmail, and fake death to avoid incarceration.

 

So buy it now, and let those dead bodies, be someone else's past.

[Zoom Rabbit]

No spam at all. *(Wipes a tear from his eye.)* I'm so proud...

 

Ray: I love it! Especially this part: 'oh my good mr. potty look!!!!!, .. look at this!! holy mr. potty..

it's unbelievable .. what a glorious death...' I can dig it.

 

Philoclean: Ah hah-hah. Let's keep it a tad more tasteful, shall we?

 

(For example, Kylilin's joke was quite *tasteful.* To say nothing of the recipe.)

 

Tonight, I bring haiku.

 

'Skating like death pig on july ice...tie me up smartly, fat man!'

 

'Twice now have I kicked this street mime; reality is my reward.'

 

'Wooly and smelling of ozone, an electric sheep greets the dawn.'

[Philocleon]

*camera pans to a view of me standing outside the Aresen shack* Well Scar, I'm here live giving you a weather report outside of Aresen. You know how Lynk always says in is message "close the door. it's freezing outside"? Well that fact is indeed confirmed by my stnading out here inthis absolutely freezing weather, conditions no human being would want to live in. Do you see any eskimos out here? I don't, because it's too damn cold for them. Apparently the local wildlife they subsist on decided they had enough of these terrible conditions and they've packed their bags and left. Even as I speak, penguins are running away from this area as fast as their little webbed feet will take them, and if that won't do, they'll try and resort making a reallllly long run and then do a belly flop and slide their way out of here. And yes, some are so desperate that they're trying to use their wings for flying. They've been running up a hill and jumping off and then flap their wings as best they can, but so far, all i've seen is a bunch of little tuxedo birds belly flopping to the ground. In fact, when I first came here, before they started to leave, there were homeless penguins panhandling for herring. I have only one good thing to say about this place. UNLIMITED ICE CUBE POTENTIAL AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE!!!! Now all we need is someone or something stupid enough to go out there and collect it, because no sane person would do it. Wait a minute, I stand corrected. No sane person would do it because there are no sane people here, only insane people at this lovable, wacky looney bin we call Aresen, so of course anyone will do it. And that concludes this weather report. Now, anyone for some ice tea?

[Kylilin]

'Wooly and smelling of ozone, an electric sheep greets the dawn.'

 

Well, it wouldn't be Radio Free Saturn without some sort of mention of an electric sheep...

 

or a gas powered crocodile...

 

...or Pink Monkey

[SuicidalXWing]

Gas powered crocodiles indeed. They're all the rage with the youth of today, and pink monkies are making quite a comeback, why I remember when I was a kid, spanking my pink monkey for throwing crap at people, ah those were the days.

 

Well, that's today's nostalgia, I send it over to you. V

[Zoom Rabbit]

The following interview was recorded by midgets in the ceiling.

 

Zoom: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have for your consideration an exclusive LFN interview with that most famous of hominids, Pink Monkey. Pink, good evening and welcome to the program.

 

Pink Monkey: Who are you? How did you get in here?

 

Zoom: Space and time are equally irrelevant--never mind that for now. Pink Monkey, in view of your stated public policies regarding the environment, there are some questions about your personal life that critics would like answered.

 

Pink Monkey: Critics? Pink Monkey likes critics. Critics are crunchety!

 

Zoom: For example, you have always been in favor of smaller, more environmentally-friendly automobiles...yet you yourself drive an SUV.

 

Pink Monkey: Pink Monkey drive SUV over annoying little commie rabbit, yes? Bah. You cannot buy SUV, so you do not like.

 

Zoom: Well, it is a matter of personal choice after all. However, this genuine snow leopard skin rug here in the foyer of your mansion, and the baby seal skin shade on that lamp over there are not only brazenly expoitative of the wildlife but undoubtedly illegal. How do you plead?

 

Pink Monkey: Pink Monkey has diplomatic immunity from Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Kiss my pink ass. Guards!

 

That's all the midgets were able to get on tape. Gunshots obscured any further comments Pink Monkey may have had for our interviewer.

[Alia]

*sound of static, then a voice comes through*

 

Can you hear me? How about now? Ok. I don't think this will take too long. No. Yeah. It's out of the journal. What? Of course no one reads it. That's why it's ok. Ok? OK! Am I on the air? WHAT? ****!

 

*ahem*

 

Oklafreakinhoma: A Critical Review of a High School Musical.

 

Well, I just got home from closing night of hell on stage. Most people have heard of Oklahoma and a few have actually seen it. The original was highly acclaimed, opening March 31 and running for 2,212 performances, or so they say. (It is my personal conviction that they showed it once, and afterwards just did strip shows and made people promise not to tell.)

 

From the program: "The plot is simple, revolving mainly around the question of who will take Laurey Williams to the box social; the decent Curly McLain or the sinister Jud Fry. However, Oklahoma continued in the tradition of Showboat in its depiction of the pioneering men and women of the American Southwest." Note: My friend misunderstood the last sentence to mean that Oklahoma was the sequel to Showboat. That was the funniest part in the whole thing, and it happened before the orchestra started tuning. Go figure.

 

Story/Dialogue: Well, you have the plot right up there. The way the story was presented was disjointed and made no sense, but that's not the fault of anyone who I have the opportunity of humanely destroying at this point.

 

Acting: Wretched. Curly was so completely overacted compared to the rest of the cast, it made me want to throttle the kid. I mean, just climb up there and manually distribute his enthusiasm equally among the rest of the actors in the messiest way possibly.

 

Also, I have noticed a disturbing trend among the high school leading ladies. They whine. And they whine so profusely and thoroughly and professionally that they should be in the whining business. Yes. I mean they should go into small town politics. Laurey's voice often reached the octaves reserved for calling dogs, and this was when she was talking. She looked the perfect blonde, curly-haired china doll. Best left on the shelf to collect dust.

 

Another disturbing thing I noticed is that there was more than one young lady who I thought was a guy. I kid you not.

 

I liked Aunt Ella the best. Such pretty hair, and her squeaky voice actually was in character. And Slim was played by somebody I knew by name and face, though not personally, and too bad I don't really dig redheads. Also, Jud Fry was properly dirty and creepy. So I can't complain as much about them. I found myself wishing Jud would just rape Lauree. Just do it, man. She deserves it.

 

Singing: To my rampant surprise, the singing was not so bad. Curly and Laurey were both technically very good, but the hideous facial contortions Curly went through nearly made me ill. Lauree just stood up there and trilled and tralalaed away like a prim little songbird. As did Ado Annie, the *ahem* town bike. I choked on my own spittle while she sang "I Can't Say No." As for a few of the others.....ow.

 

Dancing: This was the aspect, that of all the others, really made me want to take my own life. Luckily I was seated between some very good friends who would've stopped me when they noticed I was slitting my wrists with the program. There were no dancers. There were dances, but there was not one dancer. During the latter part of the first act, there was a "ballet." Now, basically, that's how they say they're going to pantomime this bad dream that Lauree had. She lays herself down offstage to dream. The fog machines roar to life. So out comes Curly in this unmanly lavendar shirt, hugging and kissing this brunette. Oh my god, no wonder it's a bad dream. The guy she shunned but actually loves is kissing this other girl. And they're dancing around looking all happy, pretending to do ballet. Then I realized. Oh. That brunette is the dancing version of Laurey! They have her there because the blonde one can't dance! Man, if they want stunt doubles, they should at least have similar colored hair. Sheesh. I was sorely disappointed that Curly didn't actually die, as he appeared to.

 

However, there is something to be said for a group of manly boys who can dance around with their thumbs firmly wedged in their belt loops...for a whole number. Bravo.

 

I can't talk about the dancing anymore.

 

Instrumentals: The high school pit orchestra started out the evening well, airing the ancient Chinese melody, "Tu Ning." This piece still holds strong with modern audiences all over the world, and was excellently done this particular night. Unfortunately it all went crashing downhill from there. Here's what I wrote:

 

"Overture: We can only hope it was meant to sound like that." And the statement held true for the entire production. The strings sounded ok. That might have been because I had a couple friends working the violins in there. But the rest of it sucked outright. I mean, why didn't they just drag in a lot of farm equipment, rev it up, and let it idle during the musical numbers? It would have simplified stuff quite a bit, there. And it might have sounded better. Why the hell doesn't anyone think of sound when they're playing music?

 

Costumes/Scenery: The first scene featured the front of Laurey's and Aunt Ella's house. It was very pretty and yellow. I must give serious commendation to the chimney, that managed to float three feet above the roof it was supposed to protrude from. No ordinary chimney can keep that up so long. Not even in a musical. I was also partial to the inside of Jud's cabin, where there was a long noose handy and several raunchy pictures of women hanging about. Now there's a guy who knows what's important in life.

 

The costumes were indifferent at best. Jud again led the cast, wearing an artificially stained undershirt that was two sizes too small with his broken overalls and comfy old hat. Curly fashioned those tight cowboy jeans and changed his shirt a mere six times throughout, usually donning an even girlier color than before. All the girls' dresses were ugly, except for Aunt Ella's tasteful burgundy wear. The men's outfits (cowboys, farmers and such) were almost tolerable. The peddler's gray suit with yellow trim was so stylish. And he had such a delicious fake accent.

 

Special Effects: Other than an overstrained fog machine and some fake gunshots, nothing. There were, however, many amusing typos and basic grammatical errors in the program.

 

Overall Impression: This plebeian farce, full of sexual references, bad kissing, fake guns, happy song, terrible acting, unspeakable dancing, indescribable accomaniment, gets a solid 3/10 stars, on account of its laughability and the fact that I got to see some friends I seldom meet with there.

 

In spite of the said laughability, I was literally crying real tears the whole way through, and continue to do so now. I think it's because these are the sort of events that shape one's life.....and that sense of innonence, of faith in talent and quality, of hope in mankind, was ruthlessly stripped away in the unforgiving darkness of the smelly high school auditorium. The one word that describes my personal experience of this fateful night?

 

 

RAPE.

 

Uhh, ****! It WAS too long! Harry! I gotta talk to you, man! *gunshot* *static*

 

And now, a message from our sponsors!

[Zoom Rabbit]

Poor boy's mac and cheese

Ingredients: Top ramen, water, processed cheese slices.

 

Boil top ramen noodles in water until soft. Drain water, then toss in unwrapped cheese slices and mix while still hot. Serve in a styrofoam coffee cup.

 

Unknown meat on a stick

Ingredients: Corn dog.

 

Remove corn dog from freezer and toss in microwave. Nuke it until it's soggy. Never ask what it's made from.

 

 

Peanut butter roll-up

Ingredients: Flour tortilla, peanut butter, pancake syrup.

 

The fridge is almost empty, but you have leftover tortillas, some peanut butter and pancake syrup. Well, there you go.

 

Be sure to print these recipes out, kids. You may need them when you go to college...

[Kylilin]

Thinkin of a master plan

Cause there ain't nuthin but sweat inside my hand

So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent

So I dig deeper but still comin up with lint

So I start my mission- leave my residence

Thinkin how could I get some dead presidents

I need money, I used to be a stick-up kid

So I think of all the devious things I did

I used to roll up, this is a hold up, ain't nuthin funny

Stop smiling, be still, don't nuthin move but the money

But now I learned to earn cause I'm righteous

I feel great! so maybe I might just

Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive

Then maybe I'll stay alive

So I walk up the street whistlin this

Feelin out of place cause, man, do I miss

A pen and a paper, a stereo, a tape of

Me and Eric B, and a nice big plate of

Fish, which is my favorite dish

But without no money it's still a wish

Cause I don't like to dream about gettin paid

So I dig into the books of the rhymes that I made

To now test to see if I got pull

Hit the studio, cos I'm paid in full

[Zoom Rabbit]

That reminds me of my latest plan to deal with financial insufficiency: sell my sex. What? It's a brilliant plan--y'all are just jealous you didn't think of it first...!

 

Yoo-hoo...Martha! My pride has a price tage now.

 

The following interview with Michael Jackson was recorded by midgets in the ceiling.

 

Zoom: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's broadcast on the mighty Radio Free Saturn. Our guest this time is Michael Jackson, currently under public scrutiny for suspected weirdness. Michael, how are you?

 

Michael: Oooh, I'm not so good. I'm seeing a giant white rabbit in my fun room right now. My doctor said this might happen!

 

Zoom: Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah! You aren't cracking up, Michael--I'm from the future. Anyway, this is quite a fun room you have here. The swimming pool full of plastic balls and the bumper cars aren't exactly the sort of thing I usually find in a celebrity's fun room. What exactly is the message here?

 

Michael: I'm just a kid at heart. Gotta love me!

 

Zoom: I don't think so. Moving right along, I'm curious to know why you have this corpse on display. It doesn't exactly fit the fun-loving hijinks theme you have going on...

 

Michael: He's the Elephant man! The Elephant Man! He's famous.

 

Zoom: Looks dead to me. Makes him a corpse. Say, whatever happened to that chimpanzee friend of yours, Mr. Bubbles? I've always wanted to meet him.

 

Michael: Mr. Bubbles kicked my ass. Really. I had to get rid of him.

 

Zoom: Ah, well, you probably bruise easily. Still, 'getting rid' of a pet monkey that you've raised in a life of luxury then rejected as soon as his adult behavior manifested itself runs somewhat contrary to the good guy image that has been sold of you. As a role model for children, is it good to have an exotic pet without being prepared to keep it through its adult life?

 

Michael: Why...you...Elizabeth! Come kick this rabbit's ass for me--!

 

Zoom: Elizabeth Taylor? I'm outta here.

 

Rabbit's feet are lucky indeed if they get you the hell out of Michael's fun room before Elizabeth Taylor shows up.

[Kylilin]

 

Happy Turkey Day!!

[Zoom Rabbit]

Indeed.

 

 

Wally the Space Dolphin wishes to remind all of us in the US who will soon be sacrificing many overgrown birds in celebration of the holiday of Thanksgiving that the holiday they are observing was originally intended to commemorate the first western settlers in this country, who nearly starved and died of exposure when they first arrived utterly unprepared in a new land and were subsequently rescued by the gentle and good-meaning native peoples already living here, who fed and clothed them, set them on the road to survival and were later killed off by the diseases those settlers brought with them, as well as finally running afoul of the civilization they here founded and being fenced off into little tracts of land way the hell out west, where today the few surviving native peoples either scratch a living out of the desert or join the western society that has surrounded them.

 

Hmm. Good point, Wally. This Thanksgiving, I'm going to go find a native American, and tell him, 'Thanks.' I only fear it will be far too late...

[Ray Jones]

ray - today we have a nice guest here at rfs studios let's chat a bit with our fellow forum-thingsy-errr-typee-guy mr. jones. i've just met him down at the girls place shaking the palmtree to get them chicks some nuts. he was so nice to stop stirr up further trouble and will join us for a moment.

 

hello mr. jones. welcome to the rfs studios!

 

mr. jones - uuhm. hello! howsit hanging? i mean.. schrunz sputtelige sputtelköpfe! s'gehdn?

 

ray - sure mr. jones. thats fine.. what ever you said. let me ask you something .. whats that in your avatar? i mean aresen is known for its biiig and mighty dangerous weasels.. are we seeing some crazed killer weasels there?

 

mr. jones - uuuhm. yes. except for this weasel-thingsy-part .. they are beavers. plain beavers. with teeth n stuff.

 

ray - how comes that you chose beavers to live in your avatar? i heard you are graphical ambitioned .. why not an own creative thingsy there?

 

mr. jones - just because i can rhyme and have a flow doesnt mean i'm going to be hiphop artist. i think at this point my question should be.. why do YOU have two beavers living in your avatar?

 

ray - they are beavers? i thought they were weasels.

 

mr. jones - *nods* i know what you mean. this could happen to anyone.

 

ray - yeah.. after all i just used some pictures from some internet sites and combined them using mspaint.

 

mr. jones - they needed some editing though. all i needed was irfanview and dpaint. i used it to convert them to iffs worked them out in dpaintIV for my amigaemulator to finally convert them back to gif. it might sound like stress but was pure fun after all. and look at the result. it's nearly 3D. actually it's a fractal dimension of 2.845. but this is pretty good.

 

ray - pretty plastic, yes. now tell me whats that in your mind. *points*

 

mr. jones - what? that?

 

ray - yes yes.

 

mr. jones - it's just a story.

 

ray - err. story?

 

mr. jones - uh-hu!

 

ray - uiuiui. *nods*

 

mr. jones - there was this place called erasan.

 

ray - era-san? is this japanese?

 

mr. jones - no. erasan! and it is not japanese. it is nowhere. yet everywhere.

 

ray - ok ok. nowhere, yet everywhere! erasan. and?

 

mr. jones - it had a door. but noone could use it. i mean they could but it was an act of death because it was very freezing outside. pretty much freezing. oh yes. iceicecold.

 

ray - a single door? only one door? why?

 

mr. jones - there where monsters. i mean mainly there where boys and girls, like you and me, living together in harmony, playing things like having fun. and sometimes there where monsters, too. i guess the door was build in by the builders of erasan.

 

ray - monsters? how many monsters? biig and dangerous? what did they do?

 

mr. jones - oh. nothing.

 

ray - nothing? spoot.

 

mr. jones - yeah. basically nothing. they where hiding most of the time. but sometimes the came jumped out of their secret hideouts. and everytime they did they where followed by enormous storms and so. i mean storms that even blow hurricanes away. noone could stand against them. not even one little thing. everything got crushed down everytime a monster jumped out and brought a storm with it.

 

ray - freaky. what do the monster look like? and why is it freezing outside?

 

mr. jones - i dont know. noone knows. it's just cold. noone ever asked why. i guess it depends to the evironment of erasan and those monsters can look really strange. some look like fake barf. and some like you and me. and suddenly, one day there where thousands of monsters everywhere. everywhere. everybody was annoyed. everybody knew the storm will come.

 

ray - what happens then..?

 

mr. jones - hmm. someone accidently opened the door. he was drunk and wanted to use the toilet. but they never expected what they saw then.

 

ray - a giant grooving snow monster!

 

mr. jones - no. sunshine. it was all like *spring scene, the bird where singing and green gras covered the hills*. they grabed their stuff and went outside to play baseball. they went outside and closed the door. from the outside. then suddenly, after hours and hours of playing baseball the air became cold and clammy. an icy breeze blew in their faces. then together with some really really biiig and dark clouds came the rain. first it was just rain. the the wind became stronger and stronger and the rain turned into hail and snow. now it was really freezing outside.

 

ray - and then suddenly the giant grooving snow monster.

 

mr. jones - yes. but it was on the other side of the green but now snow covered hills so they noone recognized the other. the group of erasaners decided to go back inside and look whats going on in there with the monsters and storms. not only because it was freezing. most of them also needed to go to the toilet. they went to the door and noticed the need the key to open it.

 

ray - but they havent got the key.

 

mr. jones - of course the had the key. the one they call "wetspring" had it.

 

ray - but the keyhole was frozen.

 

mr. jones - no. it is one of those anti ice keyhole with a defroz-o-matic automatism thingy. they opened up the door and went back inside.

 

ray - where the monsters were waiting.

 

mr. jones - the monsters all died because of the boredom the erasaners left behind them as they went ouside.

 

ray - and the storm had destroyed everything.

 

mr. jones - mostly yes. some of the things were still useful. but most of it was atomirizated and gone down the TUM TUM TUUUUUMMM big bad black deep unknown.

 

ray - what then?

 

mr. jones - hmm. they builded everything up again and all things were like before.

 

ray - before?

 

mr. jones - before they went outside.

 

ray - that is the story?

 

mr. jones - that is the story.

 

ray - what's the point?

 

mr. jones - never go outside to play basball in a spring scene with shining sun and singing birds without your key.

 

ray - uuhm?

 

mr. jones - it might become freezing and also the will come a time where the pressure will cause you to think only one word: toilet. and you definitly want to use it.

 

ray - and you might meet the giant grooving snow monster from the other side of the green but now snow covered hills. and it might take away your baseball.

 

mr. jones - exactly.

 

ray - *nods* *pause* ok folks. so far for now a deep look right into the thoughts of mr. jones.

 

mr. jones - amazing. i didnt noticed that. i just talked some stuff.

 

ray - a last word?

 

mr. jones - pass the courvosier.

 

ray - ok. you heard it. deep ****. tune in next week we will have a discussion round about the difference between rap and hiphop music. red eyes possibly possible.

 

 

*funky tune playing*

[Kylilin]

Now let's get it all in perspective

For all y'all enjoyment, a song y'all can step wit'

Y'all appointed me to bring rap justice

But I ain't five-O, y'all know it's Nas yo

Grey goose and a whole lotta hydro

Only describe us as soldier survivors

Stay laced in the best, well dressed with finesse in a white tee lookin for wifie

Thug girl whos fly and talks so nicely

Put her in the coupe so she can feel the nice breeze

We can drive thru the city no doubt

but don't say my car's topless, say the t*tties is out

newness here's the anthem, put your hand up that you shoot with, count your loot wit'

Push the pool stick in your new crib, same hand that you hoop with, swing around like you stu-pid

king'a the town, yeah I been that

You know I click-clack where you and yor men's at

Do the Smurf, do the Wop, Baseball Bat

Rooftop like we bringing '88 back

[Zoom Rabbit]

I'll do the smurf!

 

Ray: I can't help but notice that you interviewed yourself. Hmmm. Good form!

 

'Well, this is Air Force One. No, I'm not kidding. We aren't running a transponder due to the high secrecy of our mission. With the President's short notice, and desire to reach Baghdad in time for Thanksgiving dinner with the troops, we had to commandeer one of the *Black Ops* retroengineered flying saucers--so order your troops to stand down. They are not to fire upon any alien looking aircraft in the sky at this time, until we've gotten the commander-in-chief safely on the ground. What do you mean you don't believe me? Listen, do you think we tell you, a lowly ATC jockey on the ground in Qamel'Poop Iraq, what exactly the highest-rated aircraft technology available to the POTUS is, or where it came from? I don't care what your orders are, who is or is not scheduled to land at Baghdad Airport today, or what kind of aircraft you think possible to find doing so. Just clear the goddamned runway, and get out of our way, or I'll zap the dogsh*t out of you with this phaser when I get down there. Do you copy?'

 

Uhmmm... Space Force One, you're breaking up!

[Zoom Rabbit]

Actually, it turns out the President did take Air Force One, a giant Boeing 747 with a distinctive bright blue paint scheme, into an occupied foreign country with is currently experiencing wide-scale insurgency involving shoulder-fired stinger missiles.

 

Okay. The 'Big Brass Balls Award' of 2003 goes to George W. Bush...

[Yufster]

Okay, so, hm. I'm not gonna pretend I read the original post. I really have no idea what this thread is about, and I never once saw Bill Gates Cel Phone Number here, so I'm making an educated guess that I've been misled. Betrayed again!! However, now I'm here, and I'd look real stupid if I just left without saying anything. Then people would know I was tricked, and heaven knows I could never live down that humiliation!

 

The problem is, well... I never had anything original or interesting to say when I clicked the link. And now that I'm trying to think of something, my mind has just gone blank. I remember this one time, in high school, when we were all studying for the final exams, and our teacher gave us a tip about answering questions. She told us that if our mind went blank, we were just to go back and read the question, and literally write down the question in form of a statement. So, "Explain why Silas became so attached to money?" Would become, "Silas became extremely attached to money." And even this uninformative statement would gain you points, and help you begin the rest of your answer.

 

This in mind, I tried to read the first post in the thread, but my attention couldn't stay focused long enough. Instead, I just read the last few lines to get the general idea.

 

So in conclusion, "LOL XD !!11111 ^_^"