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Holiday Special 2....


Deac

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Lokpihet: Why not?

 

Reletha: Well, I think my Dick Clark plan is far more fiendish! In fact, I'm gonna do that and get Dad to help!

 

Syrnl: Sorry. Don't do evil anymore. Not since that redemption scene.

 

Lokpihet: Oh....yeah.

 

--------------------------------------

 

Deac: What a strange world. Half of them seem to worship something called Microsoft, the other half various gods...*points out a rocker, and goes up to him*

 

Deac: So what can you tell me about "Led Zepplin"

 

Rocker: Jimmy Page is the God of Guitar!

 

Deac: I see, so you worship him to gain musical benefit!

 

Rocker: Errrr....sort of....they are my band's influence!

 

Deac: See, Rwos!

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RH Irvine *holding a can of soda* "I wonder if Dr. Pepper is a real doctor. Something tells me that he isn't qualified to be a "Soft Drink". But then yet again I can't get enough of this stuff!" *Begins to shake uncontrollably*

 

-------------

 

Fused Irvine "Well I guess I could fill in for ya."

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*shortly after several blaster shots are heard, Kioet walks down a dark alleyway and takes notice of something horrible*

 

Kioet: oh my god, what the hell happened here??????

 

???: mind your own business.

 

*Kioet takes a closer look....and nearly passes out. what he sees is a dark elf taking a piss on some bodies he just hacked to death with his fireblade shortsword*

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((I see some one has played to much morrowind))

 

*Odin stands from the table.*

 

Odin: Now that I own the galaxy, lets go through the portal.

 

*The Group of Aesir follow Odin through the portal. They arrive in the mountains. The first person they encounter is a stranger wielding a sword*

 

Stranger: There can be only one.

 

*Takes a wide swing. Odin ducks and draws his sword. A brief fight ensues ending with the strange's head leaving his body.*

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*Flax stops kissing Sophae long enough to take his jacket off.*

 

*Sellena shakes her head, takes a final look at her sister and the reprobate she married and jumps through the portal.*

 

*Hal, Kal, and Mirra emerge on Earth, Sellena follows a moment later.*

 

Hal: Mom and Dad were "catching up" so we left them to it.

 

Kal: It should be illiegal for married people to have sex.

 

Hal: Did dad never give you the "talk"

 

Kal: Talk?

 

Hal: About the birds and the bees?

 

Kal: What are Bees?

 

Hal: Never mind.

 

Sellena: Colonel, My Brother in Law should be along in a couple of hours, or may I call you Deac? *She gives Deac "the" smile.*

 

 

((Same smile Sophae uses to get what she wants.))

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*Kaildor wanders through the portal.....late as he always seems to be, and appers on earth*

 

Kay: Zepplin rule!

 

*kaildor kicks kay*

 

Kaildor: Danm hippie

 

*walks over to Deac and co*

 

Kaildor: Why do all these people have long hair?

 

*points at a load of people with long hair*

 

kaildor: see? this place is strange.

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Deac: Oh go on then.... Right everyone! We need to find out why we're here!

 

*TV in the shop window changes*

 

Newsreader: Dick Clark has been kidnapped! Without him TV will never be the same this new year!

 

Also...strange figures have been seen heading for the North Pole! Could there be a connection? And why do we have no real heroes on this planet!

 

--------------------------

 

*Lokpihet looks round his new ice palace*

 

Lokpihet: Cold, but it'll do...Mr Christmas

 

*Santa is tied and gagged behind him*

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*Fused Irvine walks in*

 

Fused Irvine *to Lokpheit* "I've made sure that the elves made giant ice sculptures of our liking. Killed a few with our, heh, 'Magic'." *force lighting arcs from finger time to tinger tip innocently, while he grins widely*

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Rwos: The North Pole...that can only mean one thing. Santa Claus really does exist!

 

*Gilian appears behind the group in a flash of blue light*

 

Gilian: Rwos! I have something important to tell you!

 

Rwos: Then there's only one thing to do...we must go to the North Pole and stop Reletha, Lokpihet and their evil minions before---

 

Gilian: Rwos, stop godmoding. I hadn't even said anything yet.

 

Rwos: Oh, sorry.

 

Gilian: Now to business - I have received reports that Reletha, Lokpihet, and some unidentified evil minions (probably all named "Irvine") have been sighted heading for the North Pole. We must stop them before they steal Christmas!

 

Rwos: To the Cantinamobile! Let's go!

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Deac: We have a Cantina mobile?

 

*Syrnl pulls up in a flashy soprts car*

 

Syrnl: Hey Deac! See what the music industry can do!

 

*Everyone crams in*

 

Syrnl:Easy on the paintwork...I've only got ONE PAYMENT LEFT

 

Passing Cop: And I've only one day 'till retirement!

 

*Drops dead*

 

Deac: TO the Pole!

 

--------------------------------------------

 

North Pole

 

*Reletha walks in, dragging Dick Clark*

 

Reletha: See! Now let's see who the earth Hero comes to rescue first!

 

Minion: Uh.....Mr Goldfinger called. He's currently being foiled by Mr Bond so we'll have to find another hero to stop us.

 

Lokpihet: Is Buffy free? *Begins primping*

 

Minion: Sorry, also booked. It's a busy time of year.

 

Reletha: The A-Team?

 

Minion: Well, I think Mr T might be able to...

 

*The Darkstars shake their heads*

 

Lokpihet: It seems no one can stop us now!

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Fused Irvine "Cue the suspenceful music."

 

*on the other side of the room a large red certain opens revealing a 50 piece orchistra, which then plays a rich: "Dum Dum DUUUMM!!!", in instrumental ^^*

 

Fused Irvine "Wait a minute, you sound a little dissappointed."

 

*Dum dum DUUUUUMMM!*

 

Fused Irvine "Funny once, not twice."

 

*Dum dum DUUUMMM!!!*

 

Fused Irvine *thinking* 'Damnit, who's idea was it for those to get here? I'm just not going to say anything and wiat for them to answer.'

 

*Dum dum DUUMMM!!*

 

Fused Irvine "STOP IT!! I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!"

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*Syrnl puts on his tape player*

 

Syrnl: It's a long way...

 

Hey! Check this out!

 

Send your stormtrooper a card,

He's been with the Ewoks on Endor,

The Ewok's think they're hard!

I'm gonna be their death vendor!

 

*Syrnl plays GODLike once again. Using the darkside creates great metal music*

 

Lying at my feet

Is a pile of furry meat

Hacked up by my saber!

In the style of Vader!

DISMEMBERED EWOKS!!!

 

They smashed up the walkers!

Knocked 'em down!

Made them look like a clown!

Here comes some rage from my daughter!

 

*Reletha begins to shout from her keyboard*

 

My daddy's right!

Those ewoks'll pay!

I'll knack 'em in a fight!

And dismember them TODAY!

 

Lying at my feet

Is a pile of furry meat

Hacked up by my saber!

In the style of Vader!

DISMEMBERED EWOKS!!!

 

*Syrnl takes back over*

 

Thanks Reletha!

 

Now those little kids,

They think they're cute!

I think they're pointless

And evil as Viceroy Nute!

 

Lying at my feet

Is a pile of furry meat

Hacked up by my saber!

In the style of Vader!

DISMEMBERED EWOKS!!!

Yeah!

 

*The tape ends* [Yes, I went all the way back to find that!]

 

Syrnl: Great, huh? Live version

 

Deac: Are we there yet?!

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*Odin and the other Aesir wander around*

 

Odin: This is boring, we need more suspense. I know.

 

*snapping his fingers. A giant meteor suddenly appears in the sky*

 

Odin: Nothing like a world ending event to create more drama.

 

*Vidar appears*

 

Vidar: HOw about some superstorms over that useless country France.

 

*Snaps fingers, France is destroyed, the world begins to cheer*

 

Vidar: Not exactly what I wanted.

--------------------------

Asgard: Valhalla

 

*Heimdall wakes up and goes down stairs. He quickly finds out that his family left him behind.

 

He orders a pizza, grabs some mead, and sits down to watch some movies.*

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*Time skip 1 hour.*

 

Flax: We're late for the adventure!

 

Sophae: Come back to bed.

 

Flax: Where's my belt? Where's my blaster?

 

Sophae: Fine! I don't see why we can't sit this one out.

 

Flax: I need the money to pay off Kal's gambling depts.

 

Sophae: WHAT!!!???

 

Flax: After you died he went off the rails.

 

Sophae: Wait till I get a hold of him!

 

Flax: Calm down, its only a couple of millian credits.

 

Sophae: Get dressed. *Chucks his clothes at him.*

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*Kaildor is still kicking hippys, untill....*

Kaildor: wow! A sleigh! And rendier!

*kicks shop window in and sits in sleigh*

Kaildor: away!

[timeskip that appiles to me alone as im late in posting putting me on sinc with everyone else]

Kaildor: Away damn it!! aw screw this!

*calls for taxi*

Kaildor: to north pole, and fast!

 

[ que batman music]

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