Shivermetimbers Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 Ok, this is the thread for linguistic blunders. Yours or someone else's. In plainer english, saying some thing and having it come out... wrong. So, here are two: Alia:Well you tend to know someone when you've spent three hours in the backseat with them Translation: We went on a car trip together Alia: You say you love me but you never come! Translation: Something about a puppet show?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernil Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 Whoa! You got that second one. Somehow. Well done! Don't worry. I'll be a common poster in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ernil Posted January 4, 2004 Share Posted January 4, 2004 Dana: Chris, your dog just said "Woof." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Aha, I can see that this thread like THIS can only be supported by slang-botchers like me. Here are a few of mine: To a Sunday school teacher: "St. Stephen got stoned." To a friend's mom, about two loud twitterers: "Isn't it funny how birds make love?" To a horse: "My, Parker, SOMEONE'S been rolling in the hay!" And a thousand more I have little recollection of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acrylic Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Originally posted by Alia Aha, I can see that this thread like THIS can only be supported by slang-botchers like me. Here are a few of mine: To a Sunday school teacher: "St. Stephen got stoned." To a friend's mom, about two loud twitterers: "Isn't it funny how birds make love?" To a horse: "My, Parker, SOMEONE'S been rolling in the hay!" And a thousand more I have little recollection of. *Gathers everyone to sit in a circle in front of Alia* Tell us more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Joseph walked all the way to Bethlehem while Mary sat on her ass. *shrugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Friend: (about handball) You suck at ball! :dozey:well, it was funny when it happened! "Sara" (joking around) You sell things? "Maria" (muttering) Like your body? Me: (Not hearing "Maria") Yes, but sometimes, I cheat. ...I never heard the end of it... Finding Nemo-Dory:"Nice trench!" CMI: (in response to "Pick up Bartender") I don't pick up bartenders. THis is getting flithy...could we get in trouble? Stupid little thing... CMI: (Give Murray to Minnie Goodsoup) "Thats disgusting!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kjølen Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Kaolla Su: *wakes up* Keitaro? Did you come to jump me? Kaolla Su: It's a flock of Keitaros! and while were doing this we might as well add in some IRC quotes from bash.org <Ich> I have passed the transitional stage of internet geekhood <Ich> I was cashiering at work today, and was punching in the code for plums, which is 4040. <Ich> and the 0 key doesn't work this well, so I punched it in wrong. <Ich> and the machine flashed up "Item Not Found: 404" <Ich> and I actually laughed out loud <Raider^> Hey there, i got this new version of mirc, i should be in invisible mode, if anyone can see my sentance please reply. =p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinkie Posted January 5, 2004 Share Posted January 5, 2004 Originally posted by Orca Wail THis is getting flithy...could we get in trouble? I hope so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi-Monkey Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 When my friend Himesh got drunk he said this: "My parents would kill me if they find out. Im not supposed to get drunk because Im Hindu and stuff. If they found out, they would feed me to a cow, even though they are vegetarian, then they would eat the cow, then they would poo it out over the Amazon Rainforest and burn down the Amazon Rainforest, take the ashes and bury them 60 foot deep." That was funny. Then the other day when I got drunk I said: "Do you remember that time when Himesh sat in the cow talking about corners?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted January 6, 2004 Share Posted January 6, 2004 Spent ages trying to find this, but here we go. ALIA: I'm stuck between Yufster and Tim Schafer. This can't be good. But it can't be bad, either because I am nearer to Tim Schafer and Yufster than they are to each other. Translation: I have the largest time difference from San Francisco, whereas Alia is closer to the San Francisco time. REMIO: Timmy does it for me every time. ;-* Tim is his favourite Game Designer, or something. Not to forget the Secret Love Letter that RayJones wrote to Tim Schafer, which I decoded lovingly for you: DECODED!!!! i'm not interrested in things i'm not supposed to be interrested in. I love Tim Schafer and EVERYBODY at Double Fine so Goddamn much. all i know is that i have enough secrets with myself and that i am a black hole for informations... I dream about Psychonauts. Alllll the time. and every post i make is a code. I also dream about Tim Schafer. but noone ever understand it. I would like Tim Schafers children. there not reading between the lines. I'm scared of telling my mother I am gay. and those who do try to read between the lines fail to get the right ones because except for the first and the last ones nearly every line between the lines. I would like to donate all the money I make in the future to Double Fine, and all the people in Double Fine, and for Christmas I am buying a large and expensive gift to send to Double Fine. it so complex i'm not even understand it myself. but thats ok since I know what i want to say. I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I do love Tim Schafer. err. I love Tim Schafer so goddamned much. yes. I want to massage his feet at night for him. try to decode that. I hope nobody ever decodes this secret love letter to Tim Schafer, of Double Fine Productions, San Francisco, CA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 I hate to bring this up again, but I had no CHOICE. My tongue has been slipping all over the place! Erm. Yes. "No, dad, I'm NOT having a nice, quiet afternoon at home. I have no pants!" Translation: I ripped them irreparably yesterday at the office, and I need to go get some new ones. "Tolstoy is marvelous in bed." Translation: I like to read before I go to sleep. THIS JUST IN: "My tongue has been slipping all over the place!" Translation: I need to start speaking properly. Really terribly so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Haaa ha ha ha!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Jean-Belle to Chemistry Teacher holding meter stick "Hey, be careful with that! Its going everywhere!" Me about a maimed Ickis doll I've been sewing up weird "I torture him every night." I find this hysterical a week later... Art teacher about Tim Burton book "Its a sort of Burton on Burton." This didn't happen in real life, but I made it up...in comic form, it'll go into a photo-bucket account someday:rolleyes: HappyMan(at rennisance fair): On ward, ho! HappyMan: Oh, look, afar, a dragon, ho! HappyMan: It's a beutiful day, ho! Girl: My, my, SOMEONE'S happy... HappyMan:What did you say, ho? *next panel...HappyMan's remains under the Kiddie Show stage* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yufster Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Here are some quotes from an IRC channel that you may find delicious: <m0ds> did Indiana Jones really exist? <BOYD1981> i'm always scared to squirt that stuff in my mouth (TRANSLATION: He doesn't like eating whipped cream straight from the can.) <Vel> I like s&m for example <SSH> I love S&M. I like Sam & MAx too <femme> down with pants! <Sully> up with skirts! <[TK]> mine sometimes start like, moving slowly right, then stop, and go an inch up very fast <Flippy_D> ... <Flippy_D> interesting <Flippy_D> *cough* <[TK]> I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE MOUSE CURSOR!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush122 Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 My friend's in History class: I have a penis! AH! Question! My other friend's in conversation: Oh my God, you are so horny. I mean, nosy. Mine: Oohh! Vile epitaphs! (meaning epithets) My favorite: (pre-explaination: I was at my friend Dana's, and we had this piece of chocolate cake in her basement. My other friend Edmee wanted some so I took a bit off and put it in her mouth so she could eat it. Dana left for the bathroom, and then I proceeded to [as a joke] stick the entire cake in Edmee's mouth [as she was laughing hysterically] after tons of laughter Dana walked back into the room) Dana (referring to the cake): Oh my God! It's all over the floor! Me: That's because I shoved it in her mouth! (we laughed for hours) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 did i mention that i once said "boops" 7 times but i was speaking of "boobs" all the time..? .. uuhm.. i think freud would say it has something to do with panties.? .. ehehe hehe hee .. hehe .. he .. *everybody stares" .. *hits wall* .. *runs* .. .. ??????? hey.. .. i just mixed *hits wall* and *runs* .. HEHEHE!! .. .. hey again..!!!! cooooool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush122 Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 Hate to break it to ya, Ray, but that wasn't a wall... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alia Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 "But I found an excellent form of stress relief. I'll probably be doing it all night!" Translation: Playing a melodica can keep Alia from being nervous about the next day's jazz festival. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Originally posted by Guybrush122 Hate to break it to ya, Ray, but that wasn't a wall... what was it? what what what????? i mean.. i do not remember ANYTHING! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Originally posted by Alia "But I found an excellent form of stress relief. I'll probably be doing it all night!" This really isn't a statment taken "wrong", but its sort of embaressing anyway... My friend (her pen-name is Taji) loves animae(animaie? i can never spell it...). Unfortunatly, when she's drawing the basic outline of the characters, it looks...wrong... TAGI!!! What? You're drawing p0rn again?! its not porn... yes, but its...naked! with a carefully placed floating ribbon... its PORN! God, you're such a prud!...You want porn? Here...*draws porn*Muwahahahaha!! AAUUGH! AUUUGGHH! Mrs Joie-Peipper, Tagi's drawing PORN! it was funnier after Mrs.JP's reaction. But still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 sorry but i couldn't resist posting some innuendos from star wars... "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?" "Wedge! Pull out! You're not doing any good back there!" "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?" "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!" "Back door, huh? Good idea!" heheheheheheheheeheh *runs as fast as his little legs will carry him* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reaper Girl Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 *grabs Siv*who said YOU could leave?! Star Wars, eh? "She's gonna blow!" Shakespeare is pretty nasty, if you read closely... ...Romeo and Juilet... "Don't act like a great natural who runs up and down the hill to hide his barmble in a hole!" Someone told me Hamlet ish black. I said Whaa?. But in one of the acts, Hamlet says "Holla, Hotario." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guybrush122 Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 Originally posted by Orca Wail Shakespeare is pretty nasty, if you read closely... Try reading "Venus and Adonis"... "Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie..." "Sweet bottom-grass and high delightful plain..." "These lovely caves, these enchanting pits, opened their mouths to swallow Venus' liking." ...and many many more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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