Clefo Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 - It's my birthday Sunday - I'm ranked Number 4 overall in my class, and Number 1 amongst all males - At the aforementioned Birthday I get to hang out at cool places all day on other people's money - I get to speak at an assembly about standardized testing on Friday, and here is my speech in its whole: Good morning, I hope you are enjoying yourself during this gathering. Now, Mr. Scott (The Principal) wanted a student perspective on this whole AIMS (Arizona Institude to Measure Standards) thing, and he wanted a Student Council member. And since the Moreno twins (The two people ahead of me on the Student Council chain of command, both named 'Moreno') seem to have gone AWOL, you’re stuck with me. Now you probably aren’t asking, “Gee Chuck, what’s your secret to test taking and all that wonderful stuff?” Well, to be honest, there isn’t one. Standardized tests are like any other tests, except they have the word “standardized” in front of it. The only other difference I can think of is the fact that your AIMS and CCSA (Some test you take as a Freshman) and whatnot have bubbly things that you can fill it, but I really hope you know how to do that already. If you don’t, you have my sympathy. Now the lawmakers in our wonderful state (Arizona) seem to love the standardized test concept, and until we vote them out for more progressive ones, we’re stuck with this. But don’t worry; it’s only a test that you freshmen and sophomores have to pass to graduate. Not that I’m rubbing it in. Despite all the awful things you read about the AIMS, such as people complaining that you have to have a 200 IQ to pass it or that some kid broke their leg while taking it, you heard it first from me: IT’S NOT THAT HARD! AND YOU CAN TAKE IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Not that I’m saying you should blow off the AIMS. I mean, if you do that, you’ll have to take it again, and you don’t want that. Wouldn’t you rather get it one and done over with? Wouldn’t you rather only spend one time in a classroom for hours on end taking a test instead of two or three? I sure would, but I’m not you. This is not a test of the emergency broadcast system! This is not a drill! Don’t fret over the AIMS, despite what your local doomsayers say in their doom-like way. This may seem like sacrilege that I’m telling you this, but in my mind, it is true. Don’t let anxiety over the AIMS overwhelm you because THERE IS NONE! “History will be kind to me for I intend to write it!” Winston Churchill once said. And while that soaks in, I’m gonna go over here *point to left of stage* Like Ashton Kutcher, I am awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 I notice a distinct lack of ninjas in your report. Put in more ninjas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 What'd you say.... Oh and Wouldn’t you rather get it one and done over with? correctly speaking done and over with Just making sure your speech notes in check... I agree more ninjas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted February 18, 2004 Author Share Posted February 18, 2004 There will be a John Woo-esque ninja fight in the background while I deliver the speech, this much has been promised to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sivy Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 female ninjas fighting in mud right? happy birthday for sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Jones Posted February 18, 2004 Share Posted February 18, 2004 Originally posted by Siv female ninjas fighting in mud right? where is the "naked" or "bikini"word? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 Men.... Can we have a nearly naked Cabana Boy fanning the naked girls while they mud wrestle in the background with Ninjas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 OH MY GOD!!! MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!! *runs over Cliff* *appologizes to Cliff, then runs far away* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clefo Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 I gave said speech today. I made one revision: instead of "broke their leg" I changed it to "was possesed by the devil", which got a huge laugh. I have a nice Stalin-esque following now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth_Rommel Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 I remember when you were considering suicide, Clefo. Luckily, like a true friend, I was there when you needed me. I always told you things would get better, and lookie here, they did!! j/k (maybe that was in bad taste and wasn't funny at all - oh well) Happy Birthday, d00d. You must be turning *GASP* 17! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compa_Mighty Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Rommel, long time no see. Congrats Clefo, glad everything is turning out so great. *Maybe each one of us should make a thread about why we are so great, don't you think? * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Homer Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 Originally posted by Clefo I gave said speech today. I made one revision: instead of "broke their leg" I changed it to "was possesed by the devil", which got a huge laugh. I have a nice Stalin-esque following now See? Right there, perfect opportunity for Ninjas! You coulda put in "was attacked by Test-Ninjas" or just regular ninjas...*sigh* another ninja opportunity missed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artoo Posted February 23, 2004 Share Posted February 23, 2004 Dude! Stop the presses! Rommel posted twice in ONE day! This is unheard of! Welcome back you ole lurker! And Happy Birthday and congrats on the Stalinesque following Clefo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Well, I am going to have to agree with the majority... More ninjas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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