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starmark2k

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And the Persians too and then came under Greek domination after Alexander the Great took Egypt. Cleopatra was greek.

 

They still lasted longer than any civilisation on Earth before or since ;)

@ED, as for land, so they didn't overstretch themselves.........Anywho, we don't need to borrow EVERYTHING, but the basic principles of their government will shut the peasants up and keep everyone happy.

 

The Roman Empire was inherently flimsy. It toppled because it deserved to. In any case, the Romans were philistines. We should be a culture of thinkers and scientists.......so we can have a small army that will pwn everyone else's!

However, I suggest that the army be entirely cloned and trained intensively for fifty years (although of course they will have the aging process slowed to a ridiculously low level......)

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HOW DARE YOU TARNISH MY GOOD NAME PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME!

HA HA HA HA!

What? I'm the Grand Vizier! Aren't I allowed to be a little mentally cronky?!

 

Anyhow, we need labourers to raise pyramids and statues to honour the Emperor. Also, will the emperor require a crown or just a Dark Cloak of Mysterious Mystery?

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^ Its...its real? Do you know this? Can you verify it? They said that it teaches that the force is god, but I don't think many people believe that it is. Either way I'm scared.

 

I can't tell, however I think it's likely to be a joke. I can't really think of people actually being stupid enough to believe that, however I also can't think of people being stupid enough to dry their pets in the microwave. I think it's likely to be a joke comparable to the one with the British census Jedi religion joke (too bad they didn't use Sith, oh well, there's always a next time).

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Greetings Great and Mighty UberEmperor STARMARK!

How does this roll of the tongue?...

THE RED GRAND POOBAH OF MOJO

Here is my offer,

As long as you serve my interests, I will serve yours, while not under your command, because I am ordered by none other than the Father Himself, I will ally with you, until such time as we have irreconsilable differences,

If you accept my offer of a temporary alliance, I will keep your empire COOL and stamp out all foolish ideas and fads not worthy of your MOJORIFICNESS, and if the need arises I will fight alongside you, I'm sure you will eventually see the usefullness of that little perk:) This seems to be something that your loyal sycophants were to incompetent to address, and have failed you by not resolving matters of unhipness...but more on actual job descriptions later, I'm extremely multi-functional.

 

A warning:

If Luke I'm Your Pimp Daddy even looks at my BALLS, his only hope of survival will be to undergo surgery changing him into his avatar and fleeing to the shadowlands, This is very important because I plan on finding a hot redheaded woman and having my first set of triplets be the most legendary linebackers in history.

 

SO I am looking forward to a long and prosperous relationship with you and your fine empire, I ask that you take time to weigh my offer carefully and ignore the threats of your followers whose jealousy of my mojo and fear of becoming less favorable in comparison may try and tempt you to decline.

I forgot to mention I am also the NOMAD warlord and my hordes will be at your service, anyone of my soldiers can easily beat the most powerful forces in the galaxy, as long as you supply each of them with a concubine from somewhere in your province they will prove themselves to be extremely loyal.

 

Since this is an alliance, and neither of us is actually gaining more than the other, I suggest a trade to seal the deal.

You find for me the above mentioned redhead (I don't need to describe her because it would take to long, rest assured it is destined that you would bring me the right one)

And I will award you a WHOPPING +20 to your MOJO account immediatly with further mojo upgrades down the road!!!

 

I eagerly await your answer Mighty STARMARK

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Ehh......probably.

@RJM, I don't think that'll go down well.......

 

.....Try sideways instead :D

 

I don't see what you mean, I simply explained why I would be an ideal ally

I have the power to bestow instant MOJO, Hipness, and Superflyability?

 

Other possible jobs I can take on for you include Master Architect of the Empire, I can build statues, palices, really cool town squares, fortified castle walls, and the list goes on, but the added bonus of architect and mojo master being one in the same will increase the mojoness of even the smallest structures in your kingdom.

When not building your empires infrastructure and handing out pimpcanes, I can moonlight as your official STANDUP PHILOSOPHER IN CHIEF (hope you've seen history of the world part I, as I'm sure you know, "It's good to be the king")

And to add to your defense force, I have recently acquired from a defeated foe, an army of hypnotized zombie fangirls, which I will generously give to you to complement your zealous fanatic.

 

And, uh, SIDEWAYS????????

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@RJM, learn you must the way of the demented Sith Lord....

Also, teh Assassin school will open at some other time. Right now we need a government! And PIE!

 

 

*knocks on insidious's empty head* we have one in place all government offical possitions have been taken

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*knocks on insidious's empty head* we have one in place all government offical possitions have been taken

Oi! Do that again and I'll feed you to the chavs...

Yes, a provisional government, however, we must organise elections (for which politician gets chucked in the chav pit), start an official economy, build up armed forces, build up armed sixes too, for that matter ;P

 

@RJM, Mean do I learning the ways of the mind of the Demented Sith Lord....Understand the strange corkscrew of the mind, you must, before understand making ideas go sideways, can you...

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@ LIAYD: Elections are purely to keep the masses quiet and to rack up the kill quota. Nothing more, nothing less. The word election will henceforth be replaced in our dictionaries with the word "pwotkpleha'aruk", which stands for "Pointless Waste Of Time that Keeps the PLebs HAppy And Racks Up Kills". Pending approval by the Emperor, of course. The Emperor also needs a full coronation. Any suggestions for any of the stuff what should occur? Who wants to do the catering?

@RtG, Do you have a deathwish, or something? The chavs are looking veeeeeery hungry....

@RJM: No, he is currently on holiday, at his Most Imperious and Majestic's Capri residence...

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