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Funnyest Thing said in Kotor I&II [spoilers maybe] (56K Warning)


Fear_Again

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On a few playthroughs, the Pacifist Package was the first HK piece I got. I don't know how it happened, but it did. Sometimes I would want to go add my first thing to get HK up and running and it would only give me the option to "Log out". I was mad at the time because I thought it was clich that wouldn't let me install it. But then a few playthroughs after that I decided to get smart read its description and the *Error* dialogue box it showed.

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The fool thing, you can also call Bastila a fool, lol

How about the Sith troopers on Manaan that want to find Sunry's Arbiter? lol

After you go through the Sith embassy, talk to the droid that guards it, it says there were tech problems, and when you ask about the raid thing, it goes something about: "How do you know... um... this unit has no knoweldge of what you are talking about.".

If you want something that is kinda Juhani-Canderous, when you go back to the Selkath and tell him about the Dark Jedi Selkath programme, and you refuse his reward, "That was very generous. Too generous." "That is how a Jedi should act.", lol.

I found the after-the-Leviathan scene rather funny, with you asking T3 if he is you, and Mission saying droids don't hold grudges... obviously she doesn't talk to HK, who remembers you as his original master. The later conversation about Malak and his meatbag status was a cracker, with Malak's growing frustration and how HK feels bad about not being there to save you from Malak... lol

I loved Jolee's story about the guy thrown into the ship machinery... and I can't get more out of Juhani because I can't get Xor to appear again, and Griff isn't in the Sand People Enclave... eh.

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I won the Manaan races today, Xor didn't come back. I walked all around Tatooine and Manaan, and Kashyyyk (first appearance there), but I didn't see him again.

 

Hulas on Manaan, that is one smart Rodian. He foresees the Rebel Alliance! He says that if the Sith win, after two or three decades a rebellion or insurgency will bring down the Sith Empire...

 

And with the loading ramp, it was charge up the loading ramp, if you say that Kreia says that "would breed difficulties." Does she mean children with one eye only or something?

 

I was walking around with Bastila and Jolee, and Bastila asked him why he doesn't return to the Order, and he replies he knew she would ask him that... it was an interesting scene.

 

The weird-funny thing is the Rodian in the Iziz cantina, that likes swoops but is incredibly stupid, and you can tell him that you will just stand there, weird.

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I never had a problem with it. Did you warp back to your ship after your business on Manaan. That's where I always found Xor waiting.

 

Yeah, that scene with Bastila and Jolee was good. Did you hear the one with him and Carth? It's quite similar.

 

If you weren't able to get Juhani's rather graphic comments to play, she basically cracks it with you when you try and turn her from the dark side.

 

"Leave me and come back when you have the testiculer fortitude to carry out your task."

 

Maybe you need more ruthless aggression, since she had already unleashed the animal. Too bad you had already layeth the smacketh downth.

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I'll try warping back...

I found Canderous' stories actually realistic and cool, and his text about Kashyyyk... too bad I already lost Bastila (which is annoying, because one more Master Flurry would have taken down Malak easily, and if I steered Bastila she would have no problem with him), so I can't walk around with her and Mission... and some others.

In TSL, I wanted but didn't take Canderous to the Mandalorians on Nar Shaddaa... does he actually talk to them, or is it my wishful thinking?

In TSL, a funny way to gain influence with T3 is talking with HK and getting him to go on about how meatbags see droids as furniture, and you can say you like them, and after that you gain T3 influence, lol

Mira's pack leader thing was so funny, but so true, lol

That last thing Saul does is LAUGH, lol "You didn't know? Ha-ha-ha!"

Big Z gets very angry when you agree with Mission he could use some changing, lol, that was weird. Table-dancing cantina rat Lena, lol, but I have Griff's Stealth Field Generator bug, so I guess I have to believe that the Twi'lek corpse in the Territory is him.

"I cannot render assistance, citizen. Move along." is also a great line, because the droids that say that just walk around doing nothing.

By the Selkath Port Authority office, is the talking combat droid. Switch to Mission or Juhani and talk to it, and realize a stupid mistake. It's voice sounds like on B&W TV long ago, weird.

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Psst, if you want to find Xor go to Manaan. Take Juhani to the swoop race, or to help with Sunrey's trial, or anything really, and then warp back. He'll be waiting for you.

All you have to do is go to when you spawn Xor for the side quest is to have Juhani in your party anywhere on Manaan, except for the Landing Port map, and warp back and he'll be there with a couple of Selkath thugs.

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Here is a good one.

 

kissmefool4vs.jpg

 

I was never able to unlock this dialog, how exactly do you get it?

 

And for me HK's imitation of bastila has got to be the funniest thing he ever said, lol:

 

HK-47:"Master I love you, but I hate all you stand for. But I think we should smush our mucous covered lips together in the carge hold."

 

It's not just what he sais, its the way he sais it, It's like HK was trying to make a "sexy" voice for Bastila, lol.

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I was never able to unlock this dialog, how exactly do you get it?

You got to keep talking to Bastila. If you talk to her and no option is given, it's best to wait till you level up. If not, get on the Ebon Hawk and talk to her and it will open up. Once you had a particular conversation, save it and reload it and talk to her again. You must complete Bastila's mother side quest in order to to the point of kissing Bastila.

 

 

And for me HK's imitation of bastila has got to be the funniest thing he ever said, lol:

HK-47:"Master I love you, but I hate all you stand for. But I think we should smush our mucous covered lips together in the carge hold."

It's not just what he sais, its the way he sais it, It's like HK was trying to make a "sexy" voice for Bastila, lol.

 

Ah yes, this moment.

 

slimylips7wl.jpg

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The Manaan thing helped, thanks!

 

Bastila's talking on Taris about her Battle Meditation and how you didn't save her, well, it all kind of comes back at the Temple Summit at Rakata Prime, when she says she is more powerful than the Masters... she just thinks that, she calls you a foll but she really is the fool, lol

 

After you beat Korriban on the Light, I would take T3 and go up to one of the citizens: "Err... you're a Sith, right?" and after you win the Manaan swoops, they can tell any of your party members how they won... lol that IS funny.

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I was never able to unlock this dialog, how exactly do you get it?

 

As a matter of fact, I used the exact dialouge in my fanfic. First of all, you have to get to the point where she says 'I think we need some privacy for this. Come with me.' Then...

 

Bastila:You’re stronger than I am, and there’s no point telling me otherwise. You will be a great Jedi, I think. I hope. In some ways, you make me feel weak, like I am caught up in the wake of our destiny. But at the same time, you make me feel stronger, more alive.

Revan: And I feel more alive when I’m with you

B: But…I realize now that these feelings are part of the bond we share. The Council had surely known this. They knew that my loyalty to the doctrines of our Order would be tested on this mission.

By facing and overcoming my feelings for you, I have learned a valuable lesson about control and the dangers of emotion. This is an important step to understanding the Force.

I’m sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. But I felt it was important that you knew our…infatuation…was nothing more than a result of our powerful bond.

R:You’re rationalizing, Bastila. You’re just scared to face the truth!

B: You’re the one who can’t face the truth! Malak must be stopped. How can I do that if I let myself be blinded by my feelings for you?

R: I’m going to stop Malak, Bastila, but I want to do it with you at my side

B: You…You really mean that, don’t you? But how can I be certain you’re not making a mistake? I…I must resist. I have to be strong. For both of us

R: You know I’m right, Bastila

B: But I don’t…I mean, I can’t….Malak would

R: I love you, Bastila, And I know you love me

B: You’ve made your point. Now shut up and kiss me you fool

 

Lines should be almost exactly along those lines.

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I like the dialogue between Mission and Bastilla when Mission asks if she ever used the force to trip someone. I can't remember exactly how it goes but it was pretty funny.

 

I think it was something like:

 

Mission: Hey Bastila? You ever used the Force to...you know, straighten out someone who's annoying you?

Bastila: Of course not! (Blah blah, something about it being childish)

Mission: Oh, c'mon, not even on-- *falls over* Hey! That's not funny!

Bastila: I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about.

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One is when you are talking to him about the other HK models and he explains it to you. Basically, he starts describing your character in detail, and then tops it all of with "and then you discover that someone has cloned your miserable self!" Or something like that, it is complicated and I heard it a while ago.

 

HK to the broken fellow assassin droid on Korriban in K1: "That is so sad... Are you damaged? It is repairable?" (Said with all sincerity)

 

HK-47 again: "Love is making a shot to the back of an organic at -- meters..." Another one I can't remember fully, but it was hilarious.

 

K1 PC: "You're so cute when you get embarassed."---- "Kashyyyk. I'm a Wookiee, can't you tell?"

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