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Darth_Ave's Good ol' advice forum.


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Dear Ave:

 

My boss keeps on making innappropriate comments to me at work. I like working for him but I think he has a thing for me.Should I sue him or sit on his lap like he says?

 

-Klia

Dear Klia

 

This is a highly popular problem I'm asked with, except it's the math teacher. I say you ask him out, and turn into the psycho obsessive girlfriend. He'll dump you, and you'll be free of your creepy boss. That, or take in a slutty friend of your to work one day and hook the two of them up.

 

-Avery

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Wait. I do.

 

I have this annoying person I know, not really a friend, that is starting an advice topic like yours, on a web forum I go to. How can I tell them they're an idiot and the internet is just for downloading and discussing illegal software?

Dear Cheez,

 

I say you go keep your opinions to yourself. Having opinions in life and expressing them will only get you killed in a driveby.

 

-Avery

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Dear Ave,

 

I recently tried to write a songish-type-thing, but failed miserably. Unfortunately I somehow ended up listening to emo songs (I seriously have no idea how that happened), and now I feel like chopping my ears off with scissors. What should I do?

 

-Samuel

Dear Samual,

 

I can see you're probably down. Why don't you look up some funny online videos, like the Numa Numa dance or the Kitty Kat Dance. Or..... Here is a like to Santino's(from Rroject Runway) website. It's got some laughs for a Project Runway Fan or not

 

http://www.santinorice.com

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Dear Ave Bad,

 

Venture Bros. season 2 comes out in June, how should I prepare,

 

Crapfully yours,

-Smon

Dear Smon,

 

I say you shpuld prepare yourself by making a countdown calender and watching all the episodes you can cram into your TV viewing schedual.

 

-Ave

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Dear Darth_Ave,

Everyone hates me and I wish

they didn't. What should I do to

tell them I'm sorry and not get kicked

off of the foarm?

 

-Zelda

"*ahem*

 

Dear Zelda,

 

You should go home and eat some dirt.

 

Then you will totally be cool.

 

-Darth_Ave

 

*cough*"

 

....my ventriloquism rules...

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Dear Psychochaos,

 

You probably hate puppets becahse either,

1. You've had some bad expierences with puppets

or,

2. You've just seen some wacked up puppets in your lifetime.

Thanks. I feel relieved. Now that I know why(it was the second one. turns out I watched Chucky when I was 5) I can live with my hatred.

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  • 1 year later...

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