Jump to content

Home

Horoscope


Recommended Posts

Aquarius: You will travel in the future when your tongue sticks to the back of a speeding bus. Fil that void in your pathetic life by eating guacamole every 17 minutes.

Pisces: Avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola Virus. You are the true lord of the dance no matter what those idiots at school say.

Aries: The look on your face will be priceless when you find a 40-pound watermelon in your colon. Trade toothbrushes with an Albino Dwarf.

Tauros: You will never find true happyness. What you gonna do? Cry about it?

Gemini: Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence. Your love life will run into trouble when your spouse impales you in the chest with a javelin.

Cancer:Todays a bad day to photocopy your butt and staple it to your bosses face.

Leo:Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored puddind and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry milk.

Virgo:All virgos are friendly and intelligent, except for you.

Libra: A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you.

Scorpio : Work a little bit harder on your low self esteem. You stupid loser.

Sagitarrius:Take down all those naked pictures of nude celebrities.

Capricorn: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I got this from a song by "Weird Al".I made a few changes. You want to hear it in song form then here you go.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8tyK23ljAA&search=Weird%20Al%20Horoscope

Eh, It was ok. I did find the clip of 'Where the hell is my chiffon' and now i have proven that it was Daniel, not Andrae'! Fools!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IS NO ONE A CANCER? So sad...

Maybe it's because people decide to have kids at later times because Cancer reminds them of crabs and the disease cancer. I'm a leo. I'm not powerful or domineering. I gross people out to avoid fighting. The only way I resemble a lion is weird hairstyles. I have white hair.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...