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Things I am not allowed to do at Whispering Rock/Thorney Towers


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Inspired by one of the posts at community.livejournal.com/whisperingrock, I have conducted my own list of Things I am Not Allowed to Do at Whispering Rock-Thorney Towers.

 

I will not make Raz wear a t-shirt that reads, "I Bankrupted Majesco."

 

I will not shout to Mikhail, "Look! A bear!" and then wail on Maloof while he isn't looking.

 

I will not taunt Elton and Milka by reciting the following rhyme:

 

Elt and Mil went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Mil forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

 

I will not refer to Kitty by any of the following names: Veronica Lodge, Courtney Gripling, Rhonda Wellington Lloyd, Trixie Tang, Ashley A., Ashley B., Ashley Q., Ashley T., Trinket St. Blair, or Princess Morbucks.

 

I will not swipe Sasha Nein's day planner and use clairvoyance on it to see him getting "intimate" with Milla Vodello.

 

Chloe is not trying to summon the aliens from Independence Day.

 

I will not snap photos of Raz in the shower and sell copies of them to his disturbingly obsessed fangirls who somehow get hot and sweaty over a prepubescent cartoon character.

 

I will not refer to Agent Vodello as "The Brazil Nut."

 

Dogen is not the one who really caused Hitler's head to explode at the end of Bionic Commando.

 

I will not turn invisible and sneak into the showers for the opposite sex.

 

I will not flip Mr. Pokeylope onto his back and leave him that way alone.

 

I will not ask Sheegor about her twin brother, Quasimodo.

 

I will not tell Raz's parents that he said "ass" so that they'll wash his mouth out with soap.

 

I will not compare J.T and Chops to the main characters in Brokeback Mountain.

 

 

Anybody got any others?

 

 

Oh my God! Let's make out!"

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  • 3 weeks later...

Of coarse you forgot some of the better ones from that post and it's sucessors...

THANK YOU Holly-Ziviene, you rock the casbah.

 

No matter how often I comment that "it's just a jump to the left", the rest of the camp will not suddenly sing "and then a step to the right...".

 

Despite rumors to the contrary, upon taking over earth, Oleander and Loboto do not plan to go to Disneyworld.

-Likewise, Sasha's temporary summer job should not be shared to the other counsellors or campers.

-Especially since he's the third Mickey dancing near the Space Mountain ride.

 

Squirting whipped cream around El Odio's mouth is not going to fool anyone.

-Though squirting it around Gloria's might.

 

I will not claim the dowsing rod is in fact gaydar.

 

Telling people that Oleander's mustash is “just something to hold onto during a wild ride” is just wrong.

 

I will not organize a Thorney Towers Fight Club.

 

There is no "Dress-as-a-pirate" day.

-Even if Boyd joins in.

 

No fangirl on the list is to be let into the campgrounds or asylum.

-Especially not the rabid ones. Raz's had his fill of shots.

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I will not...

 

Lurk in the Whispering Rocket system to take pictures of Ford 'getting it on' with the computer.

 

Steal Sasha's glasses for a halloween costume... and then never give them back.

 

Hug Sasha whenever I see him.

 

Tell Mikhail about my friend Zoe, who loves him. (Much to his dismay when he finds her sneaking up behind him)

 

Repeatedly ask Milla 'am I there yet' whilst trying to find her party.

 

Send a picture of my pet bird to Chloe and say "There are aliens on earth,"

 

Say to Nils that "Elka loves violin sonata's being played horrendously,"

 

In any way kiss Sasha (yeah right)

 

Tell crispin that there's an intruder in the elevator... and then send him to the upper floors of the asylum.

 

Kidnap Mikhail for my friend Zoe.

 

Continually remind Milla there is such a thing as spontaneous combustion.

 

Call the brain tumbler betty whenever Sasha's around.

 

Sell copies of the game to campers so they can hear Sasha and Crispin swear.

 

Tell Milka that "Someone's always watching you,"

 

Teach Bobby kickboxing.

 

Let Zoe teach Bobby kickboxing.

 

Let Marcella teach Bobby kickboxing.

 

Let anyone else teach Bobby kickboxing.

 

Bet with Sasha... cause I always win.

 

Hug Raz.

 

Make out with Raz in front of Lili.

 

Give Lili an "I'm sorry for your loss," card after seducing Raz.

 

Seduce Raz.

 

Let Quentin or Phoebe see my wall of shame, featuring only pictures of them playing badly.

 

Call Oleander "A walking ham,"

 

Tell Oleander about the rabbits on my vineyard... and their violent ends.

 

Obey my list.

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I will not make out with Elton.

 

I will not kick the s*** out of Milka, for making out with Elton.

 

I will not shave embarassing words in the back of Sasha's head.

 

I will not walk in on Sasha changing clothes and yell NOT.WEARING.PANTS!!!

 

I will not use Fred as a beating stick.

 

I will not pet Crispen like a puppy.

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You may of invented it Smon, but while was hatin' on it, I stole it, patented it, and sold it to the masses. Like Grud did with your trashcan lazer.

 

I will not make Sasha sing Bohemian Rhapsody

-Nor will I make Raz sing Bohemian Rhapsody

-No will anyone sing Queen non-volientary.

-If they want to sing however......

 

I will not wear a fake moustach and call myself Oleander

-even though we kinda look alike, minus the nazi in him.

 

I will not steal Sasha's clothes and make hundreds of dollars off selling them to fangirls

-Undergarments do count as clothes, so no panty raids.

 

No asking Milla to make pot brownies

-That will happen sooner or later.

 

No making out with anyone from the asylum

-Except Fred

-and Crispen

-and Edgar

-and Gloria

-and Dr. Loboto

-and Sheegor

-and Mr. Pokeylope

-and Boyd

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Because you guys rock, I'll give you a sneak preview of the next set:

 

I will not pit the G-Men against Ranger!Cruller in a battle for the forest.

 

I will not get G-Men to set up restricted areas around the toilets.

-Or around the canteen.

-Even if Chef!Cruller approves.

 

I probably should not attack Bobby's 'fro with the hedgetrimmers.

-or a chainsaw.

-Besides, we all know nothing can dent that hair.

 

I may not get excuses for being late to class from Boyd. "Sorry I'm late, the doctors back at the clinic wanted to eat a whole jar of olives with me and the five richest families in the country..."

 

Any and all puns on Sasha's name are forbidden.

 

I am forbidden from attempting to use Benny as a kite.

-Attempting to attach glider wings to Chloe and using her as a kite is frowned apon too.

-Even if Chloe asked me to.

 

Making "In Soviet Russia, ____ ____s YOU!" jokes while Mikhail can hear you is a phenomenally stupid idea.

 

If Ford ever finishes making the burgers, I am not allowed to eat all of them.

-I am not allowed to charge entry to get to the burgers either.

 

Chloe did not lay eggs in my stomach.

-Nor did Linda.

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Here are s'more:

 

I will not eat generous helpings of Chef Cruller's four-bean chili for dinner and then stay up all night firestarting my farts.

 

I will not lurk near the lake while Elton is talking to the fish and say, "Elton…it's me…your father!"

 

I will not blackmail Mikhail with photos of him performing in a ballet recital back home.

 

I will not force Raz to sing "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves" in front of everybody.

- Nor will I tell everyone that the song was written about him.

- They wouldn't believe me anyway, considering it was written long before Raz was born…

 

I will not yell out, "Oh no! Dogen lost his hat!" in a crowded room.

- Even if he actually did lose it.

 

 

"This makes me feel like I'm back in high school, which is weird because I'm only ten."

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XD Holly. If you use some of mine, I personally won't care, cause I would be honored.

 

I will not Rev a chainsaw in the middle of the night and yell "OH MY GOD!! IT'S LEATHERFACE!!!!"

-Nor will I do anything related to horror movies.

 

I will not drive the brain tumbler

-It doesn't have insurance

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I will not sing the chorus to "Sleeping in the Flowers" around Raz and Lili, because it will depress them somehow.

-Nor will I sing any song from the album "John Henry"

-Nor will I sing any They Might Be Giants romancy-death songs.

-Especially not "The End of The Tour", because that's Phil and Rya's song.

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I will not attack Quentin and Phoebe because they talk about the cowbell, yet refuse to play the OG of cowbell songs 'Don't Fear the Reaper' by Blue Oyster Cult.

 

I will not sing the pancake song to chef cruller.

 

I will not steal Kitty's makeup.

-When you see her face, you'll regret it.

 

I shall not make Raz drink pepsi

-I shall not make anyone drink pepsi'

-Everyone at Wispering Rock will drink Coca Cola, because Pepsi isn't as good as coke or worthy of Raz.

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