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jon_hill987

Is the cinema dead?  

37 members have voted

  1. 1. Is the cinema dead?

    • Yes
      3
    • No, but it soon will be
      11
    • No
      23


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I don't think the movies are dead yet. But they're way on their way.

 

All the same concepts are twisted and used over and over. I mean Click is pretty much a modernized half-brother of A Christmas Carol, Step up is Dirty Dancing ghettoized, and Barnyard just looks absolutly dumbtastic. Movie studios need to be more creative. I praise Snakes on a plane because they're thinking, not recycling used ideas. It also doesn't help that all the good multiple movies (Star Wars, LOTR, Spiderman) have come or are coming to an end.

 

Animation is heartless CGI crap, that I have no liking for. Period.

 

Also, the rating system is bogus. Movies are losing viewers because more movies are going up in ratings so that kids or young teens, who probably get movies a lot of their views, can't see them. And all the genre's that are actually in theaters are Hijinks Animations(Barnyard, Cars), Impowering Dramas (Invincable, World Trade Center), And raunchy comedies (Beerfest, Accepted)

 

And on the sneaking food in part, it's not that hard. My dad and I snuck in Taco Bell to Episode 3 last March.

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Also, the rating system is bogus. Movies are losing viewers because more movies are going up in ratings so that kids or young teens, who probably get movies a lot of their views, can't see them. And all the genre's that are actually in theaters are Hijinks Animations(Barnyard, Cars), Impowering Dramas (Invincable, World Trade Center), And raunchy comedies (Beerfest, Accepted)

 

I'd have to disagree with that. If anything, movie studios are trying to tone down a majority of their movies so that they get a pg-13 rating instead of R so that the teens will be able to go see them. Examples would be The Grudge and the remake of When a Stranger Calls and the Ring, all horror movies that would prolly have been better suited at R rated but got toned down so that they could garner a pg-13 rating instead.

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I'd have to disagree with that. If anything, movie studios are trying to tone down a majority of their movies so that they get a pg-13 rating instead of R so that the teens will be able to go see them. Examples would be The Grudge and the remake of When a Stranger Calls and the Ring, all horror movies that would prolly have been better suited at R rated but got toned down so that they could garner a pg-13 rating instead.

You've got a point. Also, on the horror movie issue. I hate modern horror movies.

 

"Back in my days.." just kidding, but still. Way in the old times, you didn't see all the gore and crap, just specified it to how you'd want to see it. Now. BAM!! There's his severed head, and his disfugured bloddy carcas in a close up shot!

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You've got a point. Also, on the horror movie issue. I hate modern horror movies.
Couldn't agree more. They're not scary, they're awfully predictable, and they're capitalizing on gore rather than fright. The only scary modern movie I've seen is Spirited Away.

 

Compare Scream to Frenzy and you'll see what I mean. Gawd, was that movie scary.

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What's keeping me out of the theaters lately is a genuine lack of anything worth going to see. Sure I saw Snakes on a Plane this week and I was like....."ok?"...

 

Last movie I saw before that was Superman Returns, which I would have enjoyed alot more, had there not been these obnocious teen aged rodents down in front who talked out loud and threw things during pretty much the entire movie.

 

The summer blockbuster started with Jaws, and started a trend that is designed to keep us looking forward to summers. However, in the past 2-3 years even that is following a strick formula. If you don't believe me, check on Rotton Tomatoes and browse reviews back at least 2-3 years.

 

Formula 2003 - Current

 

May:

 

One mediocre super hero flick,

One video game made into a movie (pray that Uwe Boll is not involved...)

two teenaged popcorn flicks,

one pixar type kids movie featuring talking (insert noun here).

One artsy fartsy depressing movie that nobody really goes to see, except for your english professer, but wins all of the oscar nods.

two or three really bad romantic comedies, and one truly bad ethnic exploitation comedy, (pick your favorite Bernie Mac type celebrity)

Add a big budjet sci-fi sequal here. Doesn't matter if it sucks or not, just use something that has a cult following of fans(Star Wars, Matrix, LOTR, Star Trek...etc)....if you build it, they will come.

Add a REALLY good movie toward the end of May, and nobody will know it existed, because all of the above are making all of the money.(The Aviator) It doesn't matter, because this movie will make more on DVD once the summer is over, and you'll wonder why you missed it. This is usually the one you overlook....****ing Hollywood....

 

June:

 

All of the above - the mediocre super hero flick

Add one Spy Kids sequal/spin off

Add one sports underdog type movie.

Add one movie that features a dog who surfs/skates/plays soccer/does long division...etc. (Parents stuck with kids home from school will do ANYTHING to get them out of the house, and they will see this if the previous month's Pixar movie is still sold out...)

Add one really bad super hero flick

Add one CGI disaster flick

 

July:(sweeps month)

 

Really big budget blockbuster super hero fluck

One big budget war movie

Add latest M. Knight Shyamalan train wreck

Add one "Ring" type horror movie that sucks but still sells a ****load of tickets

Steven Speilberg realizes that trying to remake "Jaws" is the film maker's equivilant of trying to reserect a favorite child hood pet, it can't be done, so he does the next best thing. Find some other behemouth monster, and unleash his team of amazing technical monkeys and an endless budget...it will do fine.

Add latest Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, or Will Farrell comedy movie here.

Add nothing else, because whatever made a **** load of money from the previous months are still making enough money...so no need to go crazy.

 

August:

 

Add another teen age formula horror type movie and/or modern popcorn flick.

Add latest Jet Li testosterone type bone head action flick here.

Add one movie featuring the latest street rapper as it's sole purpose...rap fans are following the sci-fi geek's formula, if you build it they will come...(unless they decide to do this in May)

Add a remake here. Either TV, cartoon, or film....just remake something...

Add another underdog sports movie, or just some kind of sports movie...any sports movie.

Add a movie that involves Ninjas, bitches, witches, vampires, or warewolves. Soak it in kung-fu action, and cgi, with a soundtrack that features all of the hottest top 40 bands, wash, rinse, ..repeat....

Start showing trailers for "new" horror sequals to the usual suspects....Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, Chucky, Pinhead...whatever. And brace yourself, because September - October are horrible movie months, then they will put out some decent films during the holidays (at least one Pixar film, one Holiday movie, and 2-3 really good movies) Jan - March is the months that you can put ANYTHING out because people are suffering from cabin fever and will see anything, even if it sucks.

 

That's my formula.

 

I have written hundreds of movie reviews over the years for various publications, and websites (some of my own creation). I know what you think, and you are right. All film critics ARE in fact artists who fail to produce anything original of they're own. I have tried not to be the snotty critic, and write my reviews from the heart of the average movie goer. I have a pretty wide range of what I like when it comes to movies. I think of myself as the movie goer's own Patrick Henry; "Entertain me or give me death!"

 

My suggestion to Hollywood is simple. We have all established that film makers will not break the mold of originality. There is a formula that has been working for the past decade.....so why break it? I say since originality is a commodity, instead of all the "remakes" why not just "RE-Show" the originals? It has proved successful in several cases. They did it with the Star Wars Trilogy (I myself saw each one of the special editions SEVERAL times in support), they did it with The Godfather. All they have to do is re-do the picture quality and sound to satisfy my alpha male cravings for maximum audio adrenaline. That's what theaters are built for...use it! I can't tell you how many movies I WOULD have loved to see in a theater, only to discover them late in life...either on TV, or from a rented DVD. I have often equated seeing movies to amusement park rides. There is the thrill of waiting in lines with fans, buying the tickets...seing posters in the lobby of something else that will get you excited, then sitting in the dark theater, being blasted with high tech sounds, and feeling the rush from scene to scene. I don't feel that anymore...and it sucks. When I saw Snakes on a Plane earlier this week, I saw no interesting posters in the lobby, all of the previews were...lame, and even the movie itself....predictable, and I kept reminding myself that the reason I was there, is that I am a hopless fan of Samuel L. Jackson for years now... I personally think I would have more fun seeing a "re-screening" of the Evil Dead series. Waiting in line with the fans would be half the fun...and come on....those movies are MEANT to be seen in dark theaters with boombastic sound. In all of the DVD incarnations that have come out over the years, I never stopped wondering what it would be like to see them in theaters....despite how good they look or sound....movies like that are MEANT to be seen in theaters...not "re-made". I'm sorry but seeing an Evil Dead movie without Bruce Campbell would be like going to see The Rolling Stones without Mick Jagger. Why bother?

 

Don't get me wrong, I want Hollywood to break out of this cookie cutter mold as much as anybody else on this forum, and anybody else in this world for that matter. However, being a realist, I need to lower my expectations. Re-releasing classic movies is still better than all the God Damn remakes, and I would rather see the original movie, then give Tom Cruise, and Gwenneth Paltrow, yet another reason to appear on Jay Leno. Hell with the remakes, put the classics back in theaters! Show us what it was like for our parents to see these movies in a theater! Remind of why going to the movies was fun in the first place! Some of us actually want to be entertained, not just take a date to the movies. What can I do, I don't make films, I just wait to be entertained just like the lot of you.

 

Until Quentin Tarantino reserects another washed up actor, or somebody listens to me and starts putting some more of these classic films back in theaters, I guess I will be sitting next to one of you at Spiderman 3 next year...

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ehh?

 

Spirited Away was a great movie with beautiful animation, but I did not find it the least bit scary.

I'm not some sort of comedic genius, but I believe that was the implication in his comparison.

 

Kind of like when someone asks "what do you think of her?" and you reply "Frankly, I find comatose chickens (or any other absurdity) to be more sexually attractive."

 

He doesn't actually think Spirited Away is scary, you don't actually get aroused by comatose chickens. It's simply explaining how crappy the other subject is.

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I agree with you guys, I'd love to see the original Star Wars movies at the theaters again, along with other movies. If companies would rerelease them to theaters they'd probably make a lot of money anyways, I don't see why they shouldn't do it.

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Wow alot of angry people here in the Swamp lol.

 

My opinion I don't think the cinema is dying. I have a 42'' Plasma in my room with a decent surround system but I'd still go out with my friends and watch a movie instead of staying home. I just like the whole expierience of going out with some friends to the movies.

 

Ya I agree with alot of you on the annoying little teenage ****s that won't shut the hell up but usually I only notice it during the beggining and then it goes away once the movie starts.

 

I love watching the huge screen that will be always be bigger than anything I'll ever have at home, the sound is way better even though I'm sure I could afford something similair for my room, the A/C which I love since we don't run it at home as much. Plus you get to go out with your friends and just socialize. Ya Hollywood may be in a slump but I've seen atleast 5 films this year that I enjoyed.

 

Beerfest- Go see this movie you'll laugh your a$$ off. By far the funniest movie I've seen this year.

Clerks II- This was a funny movie too which I loved. Made me buy every Kevin Smith movie besides Jay and Silent Bob which I already owned.

Pirates of the Carribean- Good solid movie.

XMen III- I thought it was good even though they did away with some main characters.

Talladega Nights- This movie was just random but it was funny.

 

:lsduel::duel:

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Sonvabitch, how much did just the plasma cost? Kidney? Nuts? Rich wife/finaciee that you married for money and will learn to love? But hey, if you can afford one then more power to ya.

Plasmas aren't worth it to me at this point. Sure they're probably the best picture out there but, damn, they're expensive. Plus One of my friends who used to work at a Sam's Club said that a lot of people returned them because they dropped them, shook them a bit, or something like that and messed up what makes the picure or something. But that was at least a year ago and I'm sure they fixed the plasmas. But still, not worth it to me at this point.

 

 

 

You think people would pay good money to hear me rant? I'm a good ranter.:)

 

 

 

I've stayed away from the theater for over amonth because august is famous for bad movies. They release bad to mediocre movies in August it's the end of the summer and they want to avoid box office hits.

Beerfest - I havent seen and have heard a crap load of bad things about it. I'll probably wait 'til video.

Clerks 2 - Not nearly as good as the first IMO but I sure laughed my @$$ off. the whole way through.

Pirates 2 - Still, not as good as the first IMO but pretty damn close. Nice and fun.

X3 - Ok, I guess, but by no means bad. Can't wait until the Wolverine spin-off.

Talladega Nights - I really want to see this movie but, again it's an August release. I have some free movie passes and I'll probably use one to see this. Is it as good as other Will Farell movies where he's the star?

 

Well the plasma cost me like $1600 but I financed like $900 of it with no intrest till 2008 so I figured I could afford it. Plus being single means alot more money in my pocket that I'm not spending on the girl so I'm indulging alittle.

 

As for being sensitive that they are. When we were trying to put it in the car it wouldn't fit upright while being completly packaged so they had to take the top packaging off cause I guess if you lay it's side the pictures gets screwed up. But I have the extended warranty for 3 years so hopefully I won't have any problems with but if I do I'll be covered. I have a friend that works at Sam's club too and the funny stuff that goes on there.

 

Anyways about the movies we seem to have the same opinions. I do like Clerks II more though since I didn't see the first one till after. As for Beerfest if you liked Super Troopers then you'll like Beerfest. All my friends agree that it's the hardest we've ever laughed in theatre. I can't wait for Super Troopers 2.

 

:lsduel::duel:

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