Diego Varen Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 mach, no need to review this. Thanks. This is a new Fic set after Jedi Outcast and set before Jedi Academy (My other Fic, The Adventures of Jaden Lennon is being cancelled, until further notice). It stars Kyle Katarn and has cameos from Jan Ors, Luke Skywalker and even my RP Character, Vok Onasi. The way my Chapters will be set are different compared to my old Fics. Now they will have Parts, each one containing a Prologue, some Chapters and an Epilogue. I will post the example of the first Part shown below. (Note I like to credit the Quote thing at the beginning of each Chapter, Prologue and Epilogue to igyman.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Part I Dxun ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dxun Prologue Chapter I - Entrance to the Tomb Chapter II - Trek Chapter III - Return of the Imperial Remnant Chapter IV - A Familiar Face Chapter V - Darkness Rising Chapter VI - The Helmet of the last Mandalore Dxun Epilogue ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dxun Prologue ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “I’ve killed a lot of people… criminals, competitors, businessmen, police… women, children… I can’t say I’m proud of it, but I have.” - Canderous Ordo ***** The moon of Dxun was in sight. From the cockpit of the Raven’s Claw, both Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors could see Dxun’s surface. The surface was a lush environment, with many forests and mazes. In the past, despite it being temperate and habitable, the jungles on Dxun posed a challenge for anyone trying to start a life there. Dxun was also the largest moon of the Planet Onderon. It also had many different tombs, such as the tomb of the Sith Lord, Freedon Nadd. However the tomb, Kyle was going to go to was the tomb of Canderous Ordo. ***** Soon, the Raven’s Claw landed on Dxun, right outside the tomb of Canderous Ordo. The tomb was hidden from most of Dxun, since a lot of trees and vegetation surrounded the tomb. Both Kyle and Jan got out of the Raven’s Claw. Kyle looked around. The tomb seemed to be locked from the outside, but Kyle knew that the door wouldn’t be able to remain closed, when he would open it with his Lightsaber. He walked up to the door and took one look at him. “Here it is Jan,” Kyle told her, “The tomb of Canderous Ordo. I don’t see what was so special about him though.” Jan crossed her arms and glared at Kyle. “Are you sure those aren’t just rumours?” Jan asked. Kyle didn’t answer her, since he didn’t know the answer. He got out his Lightsaber and ignited it. A clear blue blade shot out of it. He pushed his Lightsaber into the middle of the door, making a small hole in the door. Kyle kicked the door down and prepared to leave. Jan was following. “No Jan.” Kyle told her. “No what?” Jan asked. “You should stay with the ship,” Kyle told her, “I can’t afford to lose you again.” Kyle walked back towards her and embraced her. “You won’t lose me again,” Jan told Kyle, “I can assure you.” “Please stay with the ship,” Kyle begged her, “This is a matter for a Jedi Knight to handle.” Kyle walked off into the darkness. “Anything you say.” Jan told Kyle. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Stay tuned for Chapter I Entrance to the Tomb ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Hey...Nice prologue, keep up! Still looking forward to see what next! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Sounds interesting, I'll try to read this one regularly (I'm saying ''try'' because college starts next monday so I don't really know how much free time will I have). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 Hey...Nice prologue, keep up! Still looking forward to see what next! Thanks john_ctg and thanks for the other comments you've said in my other Fics too. The Prologues and Epilogues will be short most of the time, but the Chapters will be longer. This way of doing my Fic has been inspired by the PS2 game (That I own), Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Well, yeah, seemed really good, and i like the new style! I'm guessing as well that Jan won't obey him, but, who knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 Well, yeah, seemed really good, and i like the new style! I'm guessing as well that Jan won't obey him, but, who knows? Yeah who knows. Thanks for the comments Jason and yeah I like the new style too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 Sorry for another short Chapter, but I plan to get to the good parts as soon as possible. This Chapter also stars a cameo from one of my Fics. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter I Entrance to the Tomb ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “However, even their many traps could not long hold back the curious, the fools, and the weak. And so these tombs fell, spilling their secrets into the hands of those unable to comprehend or preserve them.” - Kreia ***** A Lightsaber can light up even the darkest of places. Any Jedi knew this. Kyle walked through the tomb, wary of any traps that might try to kill him. As he treked through the tomb, Kyle wondered if Jan had taken his advice and stayed with the Raven’s Claw. Despite what he had said, he knew he was right. He couldn’t afford to lose Jan again, not after last time. Still, he doubted that anything like that would ever happen. Something shot past Kyle. It looked like a blaster shot. Kyle quickly turned around to see a Trandoshan. “Freeze Human,” The Trandoshan spat, “You might not live to see another day.” “Okay,” Kyle muttered out loud, “So why am I being stopped by some low life, who probably doesn’t know what a Jedi can do.” “I know what a Jedi can do,” The Trandoshan told Kyle, “I’m Trando Shan, also known as Doctor Death, a Mercenary from the Clone Wars.” “I take it you were once a Doctor?” Kyle asked, trying to make conversation. Trando Shan ignored him and walked past Kyle. He got out a small sphere and turned it on. It was a Thermal Detonator. He threw it at the wall and ran back behind Kyle. A large explosion shattered the wall, throwing the bricks in all directions. Kyle was shocked. No Thermal Detonator could do that much damage. “You know, you could have just asked me to use my Lightsaber.” Kyle told Trando. “Yes, but this makes people wonder,” Trando told Kyle, “Come on.” Kyle followed Trando, unsure of what he had just said. ***** The tomb began to get lighter and lighter, despite the fact that both Kyle and Trando were going deeper into the tomb. Someone must have already been down there. Soon, Kyle and Trando approached a large door. Kyle knew that no Lightsaber or explosive would be able to take this door down. Not even the Raven’s Claw could take the door down. The door was powered by the Force, somehow. Trando ran towards the door, hoping to break it down, but he was shocked by a door security system. “Listen, you find a way into that room and I’ll see if I can open this door from here.” Trando told Kyle. “You got it,” Kyle told Trando, not sure whether or not to trust him, “There is a vent above us. I can leap up to it and see if it leads to anywhere.” Kyle leapt up and heard Trando speak. “Don’t take too long.” Kyle didn’t bother listening. He wanted to know who was down here and why. Questions would be answered soon enough. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stay tuned for Chapter II Trek ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 The story is interesting, but I'm not very thrilled by a Trandoshan called Trando Shan. Ah, at least his name has a certain comedy about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 19, 2006 Author Share Posted September 19, 2006 The story is interesting, but I'm not very thrilled by a Trandoshan called Trando Shan. Ah, at least his name has a certain comedy about it. Looking back, I have to agree. Trando Shan was a Character I quickly made for the Mercenary Crew RP and I couldn't think of a name. And then Trando Shan came to me. Also igyman, thanks for your comments and I just noticed your other Post. Yeah College/School isn't great, but still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
igyman Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 I stick to what I said, you'll definitely be hearing (reading) my comments regularly til the end of this week. After that, I'll try, but I cannot promise to be regular. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 good Prologue and chap 1 and I like the idea:D ill be reading this *adds to favorites* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jason Skywalker Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Nice to see Trando knowing Kyle. I'm betting they're both content old men. If you didn't get it, play JK : DF II or see cutscenes from it in Youtube, like i did. Anyways, looking forward for the next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 I really don't think Trando Shan a trandoshan is funny because it makes me think he's Bastila Shan's brother. Really. (Just joking. Just my opinion.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 I really don't think Trando Shan a trandoshan is funny because it makes me think he's Bastila Shan's brother. Really. (Just joking. Just my opinion.) How could Trando Shan be Bastila's brother? She died so many years before him. I have played Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight and it had the best storyline ever. Too bad the graphics look bad now. Thanks for your comments all and I hope to improve the next Chapters, since I don't usually rush them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 How could Trando Shan be Bastila's brother? She died so many years before him. I have played Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight and it had the best storyline ever. Too bad the graphics look bad now. Thanks for your comments all and I hope to improve the next Chapters, since I don't usually rush them. Well, maybe I'm addicted to ancient Jedi. and I just want some fun mixing with New Jedi and Ancient Jedi. However, keep up! Thanks for your kind advice in my fic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 Well, maybe I'm addicted to ancient Jedi. and I just want some fun mixing with New Jedi and Ancient Jedi. However, keep up! Thanks for your kind advice in my fic! No problem john. I don't think I can be bothered to continue with this. Sorry all. I need to come up with a good Fic and continue with it. It might take a while. Once again I apologise. Jae Onasi, could you please close this. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK-42 Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 damn oh well Better Luck next time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 No problem john. I don't think I can be bothered to continue with this. Sorry all. I need to come up with a good Fic and continue with it. It might take a while. Once again I apologise. Jae Onasi, could you please close this. Thanks. Closed per author request. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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