RaV™ Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 So I left this inactive and not updated for a very long time..I plan to atleast do chapter's 6 through 10 today...Let's do this... Uba IV Sector 16 Sciamanos Alcazar Lord Sciamanos entered the courtyard through the gates which laid open for his passage and his men's as well. The crowd grew hush as the women and children were requested to remove themselves of Sciamanos' presence. The bystanders were soon replaced by dozens of high ranking officials and soldiers who were without their mask, but they still wore a mask on their face as this mask was of rage. Sciamanos' rival stepped forward to confront him. "What you have done is madness as you destroyed one of the most sacred positions on this wretched planet. What say you?" Calintz quiried as the other Ubese gathered around. "My excuse is of my own, the spaceport was too much of an hassle to defend like we did as we lost it every single time we took control of it." Explained Sciamanos, but in his gut was the feeling of an unwanted destiny. "Let the trial you shall face determine your fate and destiny as I shall be the executioner, if it comes down to such punishment." Meanwhile, as Sciamanos and everyone who was to assist in their warlord's trial left the courtyard, dozen's of Ubese began the fortifying of defensive measures as they already knew what the punishment and verdict was to be. House of The Three Elite Sciamanos remained unscathed by what was going on around him as he was also clueless of such things that his own men were going behind his back setting up defensive fortifications. There The Three Elite sat infront of him in high chairs as they're piercing eyes seemed to destroy what dignity Sciamanos had left. One rose to speak.. "Sciamanos although you are our lord, but still your just the pawn of our wishes and our choices. We never requested for you to destroy the spaceport only to retain it in battle. So therefore with your treasonous act we shall sentence you of the death pen..." "Not so fast." Interrupted a voice in the corner of the realm as a tall vizier left the shadows of the corner. "Let Sciamanos redeem himself by doing the hardest of task, which we all know what that is." Begged the vizier whom seemed intent on keeping Sciamanos as the warlord. Sciamanos' eyes widened as the roar of a rancor fell into his ears as it was just his own imagination. The Elite looked in disbeleif as no one has ever been able to do such an act, but then the leader of the tree rose. "Very well, Sciamanos you must travel to Constantine and find the Temple of The Blood God, there once you find the temple you must return with God's Punishment." Later, Sciamanos after leaving the presence of the elite he stared across the vast plains that laid before his great alcazar, though he didn't know he was also staring into the face of the enemy clan Kassaji whom begain the deployment of their seige... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 Sciamanos and the vizier now known as 'Nobody,' walked to the creature pens in the underground levels of the alcazar. Sciamanos was in too much of a rush to even talk to Nobody as he was on Sciamanos' heels as if the warlord was going to leave him stranded. As they turned the final turn the sounds of creatures grew deafening as howls came from the Anooba and various other creatures. Stopping at the pen of a beast, Nobody finally spoke to the warlord. "What lies beyond this door is a beast whom may be unfamiliar to you and it's own kind as it has ravaged this planet by itself for numerous days until thirteen of your men subdued it." The door slowly opened as the kinks and cranks were heard heavily throughout the pens, though it never was close of a deafening sound. "I give you the Black Bha'lir." As if that was the beast's cue, the Black Bha'lir stepped out from the shadows to visibility of the Warlord whom may of already seen it due to his night vision function in the mask that hides his face. Stepping out torwards the beast Sciamanos remained calm as the Bha'lir's paws were bloody from what carnaged it caused. Suddenly Sciamanos ended up on his back with a grunt as the Bha'lir had sprung out. It's front two paws hitting Sciamanos in the chest making the sounds of an explosion. Sciamanos was not to be rediculed as he got up after the Bha'lir backed off of him and into the corner of it's pen. "You will obey me." After rising he stepped torwards the Bha'lir who warned Sciamanos not to come nearer, but Sciamanos didn't even bother with listening as he was only intent on taming the beast whom already floored him. The Bha'lir lunged out again, but Sciamanos was ready for it this time as he caught the beast right on it's jaw with an amazing uppercut that dropped the jaw of Nobody. The beast fell back off of it's hind legs and attempted to get up, but Sciamanos kept it in place by placing his foot right on the Bha'lir's chest. "You will obey me or I shall use your fur as a robe." The Black Bha'lir was allowed back up by Sciamanos removing his foot from the beast's chest. With a pause or two the Bha'lir lowwered it's head in respect and obedience for it's new master. The taming of the Black Bha'lir came swifter than others as the previous attempts were tragically ripped to peices. Now Sciamanos on the Bha'lir's back rode out in the night to face his destiny. Nobody and Calintz watched the warlord as far as they're eyes would allow them as he and his steed disappeared in the night. Calintz' smirked grimly as Nobody remained silent. "I thank you for sending the warlord to his death so now I can claim the throne of Sciamanos Clan." Calintz boasted. "In the event of his return then may he challenge what you have said." Nobody stated not even regretting the possibility of being responsible for Sciamanos' fate. Yet as Clan Kassaji grew closer another powerful general made his move as well.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 The only thing that seperates this fanfic from being better than other's is motivation.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Saying this in only the most well-meaning way and not trying to be mean at all...Well, then quit griping and _write_. You can't expect people to stay excited if you only post a chapter every 2 months, and it's sure not fair to berate them for not commenting. BTW--the '06 nominations for the awards (not Pottsie's) were for finished fics only. Finish this one up good and strong, and it will be eligible for the '07 awards because you have an interesting story going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted December 27, 2006 Author Share Posted December 27, 2006 Very well, I'm more interested in getting criticized and disected ecspecially by mach, but maybe that'll come soon. Thanks for the advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Good chapter, RaV. Are you going to write more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 The dozens of warriors lead by Kassaji treked through the tall grass and enormous trees as they were followed by combat vehicles as large as a Tatooine sand crawler, which utterly destroyed nearly every single thing that was unlucky to be caught under the massive machines of war. Kassaji still remained hesitant of his choice that declared for a final siege against the great alcazar of Sciamanos, but he felt that this was his only choice to finally vanquish his enemy and claim the wartorn planet to bring it back to prosperity. Thoughts ran through his mind like water running over rocks, everything just collided within him as the exile of his greatest champion Durandal. This thought was immediately replaced with the thoughts of having to walk through the passage way where some parts were so narrow that warriors had to walk single file just to squeeze through. A perfect trap it seemed. The war machines under his command would either have to find a way around or cause damage to themselves by trying to travel through the rough and jagged terrain. Kassaji left his fortress nearly unguarded as only a dozen battalions were stationed there, and there was a reason they weren't accompanying Clan Kassaji. The worst of the military defended the most sacred thing to Kassaji other than Uba IV. sickening him deeply as his thoughts were suddenly stopped as a warrior came up beside him. "M'lord, by the pace of our progression we shall be there in a few days as we have just passed The Holy One. The troops aren't even bothering with the thoughts of tire, but they do hunger." Explained the warrior as his face like everyone elses was hidden by the customized mask he wore. "My warrior what do my troops hunger for?"Questioned Kassaji as he climbed up the steep hill that made it's self an obstacle for his campaign against Sciamanos. "Your troops hunger for the blood of Sciamanos, they wish for the death and razing of his alcazar. I am the same as them I want his head on a platter by the end of the siege!" Exclaimed the estatic warrior as he pumped out his chest. "Why, the blood of Sciamanos is up to you for the taking. I just wish for this war to be finally over and for us to heal our planet. Now just don't fail me like how Durandal did. Now tell the troops we are going to have a five minute break from our trek. " Commanded Kassaji who seemed to grow fierce over this whole conversation "Yes m'lord." Warrior's were actually releived to have a break possibly because they were hoping it would postpone their fate or because they just wanted to play pazaak. Many warriors followed the latter as they began competing with eachother in pazaak. Two other warriors had something else on their mind... The two of Clan Kassaji escaped from everyone elses presence by going through the brush that lead themselves further away from others until they couldn't even hear their mates. Sitting down next to a very dirty pond, one pulled out a syringe. Inside of the syringe was a drug labeled 'Red Eye' as it was more of a performance enhancer though it was very fatal for anyone around as the user would most likely become uncontrollable and just cause madness where ever they were. One was about to inject himself full of Red Eye, but suddenly a Black Bha'lir came out from the tall grass on the other side of the pond. "What do we have here? The very same Bha'lir that tore one of our comrades to peices earlier in the week." One of the warrior's said as the two moved around the pond torwards the Bha'lir. Now standing directly infront of it the Bha'lir begun a low growl as the two moved in closer. Sciamanos rose out of the pond behind the two warriors with a scimitar in hand. Sciamanos impaled one directly through the warrior's back and out the other side came the scimitar as the impaled let out a dying yelp as the scimitar was ripped upwards splitting the warrior's upperbody into two. The body folding seperate ways as it fell caused the other warrior to panic, but he wasn't able to do anything as Sciamanos with a powerful swing of the scimitar beheaded the warrior. Letting it's head roll into the pond with the mask falling off as it rolled. Sciamanos nodded torwards his Bha'lir who played the perfect ploy in the trap Sciamanos had set up. Reaching his hand into the pond he pulled the severed head up by it's hair and looked at the facial expression of the dead warrior. "Dead On Red." Escaped Sciamanos' mouth. __________________________________ I do beleive that answers your question Nihilus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSI Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Wow! Another chapter! As good as always, and keep up Rav. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 Thank you, I appreciate the appraisal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted January 1, 2007 Author Share Posted January 1, 2007 Sitting on a log with his leg's crossed, Sciamanos stared down at the split body of the doper he just previously slained being devoured by The Black Bha'lir after the body was pillaged of it's possessions. While not making much use of them he made great use of the decapitated soldier. Using the skull after skinning and cleaving the skull for a trophy added to his collection on the sash he wore. Barking a command to his Bha'lir to remain where it was as Sciamanos turned to face the area where the warriors had came from. The vision of his mask was changed to a much more advance setting allowing him to see the foot prints of the trek the two slain made. Sciamanos followed the footsteps backwards cautiously in case someone else came from the opposite direction. Now as he heard voices coming the other way he activiated his camouflage built into his armor. "Where did those two idiots go to now?" In a rough tone yet maximized by the microphone built into the mask of the warrior on the opposite end of the trail. "Whenever I see them i'm going to bust their skulls." Another said as he moved swiftly shoulder to shoulder with the other. "Then that defeats the purpose." Sciamanos stepped to the farthest side of the trail hoping not to be walked into, but he wouldn't be able to eliminate these two either as it would really raise questions if there was more than just these four enemies roaming around. The two came closer and closer, Sciamanos held his breath as they came by. The warriors walked torwards the area of the pond, but suddenly decided to stop and go back up the trail torwards the rest of the army. "If, the monster's didn't get to them then Kassaji will. We have to catch up with the other warriors if we want to particapate in the siege." The warrior paused staring directly at where Sciamanos' physically would be. Soon he picked up his pace again and Sciamanos took off the other way leaving the two behind him.. Much later after Sciamanos had grown distant from Kassaji and his soldiers, the two finally caught up to Kassaji. "Sir, I beleive Sciamanos was in our area when they disappeared. We would have engaged him in battle, but we may of served the same fate as the other two." Informed the exhausted man. "I trust you from the tone of your voice, plus you wouldn't lie to someone you have been under for nearly thirty years so I shall deploy Whitefire to the area and trace my rival."Said Kassaji, informing him.. A dozen soldiers ahead of the warrior had turned around in the announce of their unit which didn't even cause them to hesitate rushing torwards their leader who gave the coordinates of Sciamano's last whereabouts. Escaping from the rest of the soldiers and into the night they planned to tear Sciamanos limb from limb _________________________________ Game Over. So tell me what you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted January 1, 2007 Author Share Posted January 1, 2007 When are the next award selections? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakin Skywalker Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Good Chapter, but unfortunately I can't say can't wait to see more.... as from the looks of it, that was the last chapter. Great Fic.... umm...... not really much to say about grammar or spelling.... but spelling isn't within my expertise.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 The Awards will be later this year, starting in July. Hopefully, I'll be hosting it again. Oh and good Fic. Sorry I haven't read for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted January 13, 2007 Author Share Posted January 13, 2007 Good Chapter, but unfortunately I can't say can't wait to see more.... as from the looks of it, that was the last chapter. Great Fic.... umm...... not really much to say about grammar or spelling.... but spelling isn't within my expertise.... I didn't mean it was game over, game over. For some reason it seemed like that as I have been caught up with school and other things and ideas. I hope to atleast have a few more chapters before an abrupt end as it's been somewhat of an annoyance to myself and possibly others from what I have been informed. Anyways thanks for the comment from you and Pottsie as long as someone reads it sure why not keep doing it?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 Well, ive just read through it all, and i really enjoyed it. I do hope you write more, because this is an interesting story, and i would like to see what becomes of it, and of the characters involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Trust me I want this story to be done as quick as anyone else wants it, but for now it's just a mental thing. I would dwell upon what I mean but somehow, someone will get affended like always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaV™ Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 So I'm back again with a snow day where I reside so let's see how far I slide into a literature mood? ___________________ Greivous remained hardly viligant while standing in the hangar of The Invisible Hand, surrounded by dozens of his bodyguards waiting for the arrival of Belsix. Belsix, the cheiftain of the Trandoshan tribes they had hired to help contain the Ubese. Even the greatest of generals had to accompany themselves with allies, but Greivous might as well be the most stubborn of them all. Cradling the head of the Ubese whom spat in his face, Greivous stared into the open space as it was soon consumed by many ships of size, ranging from personal transit ships to larger ones the sizes of cruisers. The cruisers would wait beyond the hangar while these ships were basically the barracks of thousands of Trandoshans. The smaller crafts did not wait beyond the hangar making themselves they're own entrance, each roaring into the hangar. Every Seperatist unit was feeling the tension while the body guards of the droid general remained at ease, actually having some humane feelings of the Trandoshans were no match for them even with the massive reinforcements the lizards have. As if it was choreographed, the Trandoshans stepped out of their crafts inside the steel hangar, which made it have an off set look in contrast of color with the brightness of skin as well as the dullness of the hangar. Now Belsix the last of the Trandoshans to leave his personal craft into the hangar. Making it obvious of who he was with so many trophies on his armor as well as his bulking size compared to his comrades, they nearly looked like mutated garden gnomes. Belsix lead his Trandoshans torwards Grievous whom was surrounded by dozens and dozens of droids, while Belsix was clear in the open, grinning at the sight he is witnessing. Gunray stepped torwards Belsix from the side of the hangar as he was watching the whole situation play out and felt as if these two great combatants forgot what the mission was already. "Belsix may it be my greatest of gratitude to welcome you," Gunray bellowed at the fear of the Trandoshans whom looked menacing compared to the cliche of droids behind him. Belsix nodded torwards Badoui beside him whom was wearing a luxurious fur coat of a Wookiee, the smear of blood apparent on the lizard's face. This Trandoshan stepped forward standing over Gunray with brute size and snarling repitillian nostrils. "The great cheiftain Belsix is only here for the treasures and spoils of this conquest. Belsix doesn't care of what happens to any of the Ubese nor does he care what happens to you, Gunray or Grievous." Hissed Badoui tensely feeling as if what he had informed may spark an confrontation. Oddly enough Belsix and Grievous just stared eachother down, sizing one another up. Belsix felt more of the better warrior between the two as he hasn't bothered himself of dousing his allies around him. Grievous feeling the unsaid claims by Belsix he pushed forward through the circle he was once entrenched in. Now Grievous directly infront of Belsix actually noticed how nimble he was to the centuries of fierce battles this lizard has pushed through. The droid general wouldn't expose this to Belsix nor would he to anyone else, "Then that makes two of us." ______________________________ Sure it's a small chapter, but it's a start right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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