The_Catto Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Hullo again peoples, i thought i would share some Not-Star-wars fiction and stuff! loL. This was something i wrote for an exam just a couple of weeks ago and i got very good marks for it and i just thought i would show ya's and stuff Anyways ... here it is, its a bit short but i only had an hour to write it, and im thinking with a little editing, a prolouge. I might actually continue writing this for just an at home little project. So, let it begin haha: Chapter 1 “So, why did you come here?” “I guess, I just want to be forgiven, most of all” “By who?” As Ebhelrim stared at the stone carved Identity-Stone, fighting back as hard as he could, the urge to let his emotions get the better of him. He remembered the face of his best friend and the only person he had ever had feelings for, the now lost Cara Sarim. It had been five years, since he had seen the last look on Cara’s face, and it had haunted him to that day. How long he had been standing there, he did not know. Had it been an hour? Had it been two? His thoughts trailing back to the first day he had ever met Cara, the bond they formed immediately, and the last day, he had looked into her crystal-green eyes … “No!” he yelled “Don’t you dare hurt her!” His sword gleaming in his grasp, Ebhelrim stood transfixed, watching in horror as the demon Sadakuo had his love by the throat, sneering. Making the yellow fang shape teeth visible. He could see Cara’s grip on the demon’s arm slipping, and the lids of her eyes, closing ever so slowly. Sadakuo just laughed, that deep, echoing laugh. “You care for this one? Tell me, what will you do to save her pathetic existence? Would you give up your own life, to save hers, or just let her die?” “I would do anything, for her” said Ebhelrim, hatred surging through him like water through a sieve. “Fight me, and I shall spare her life” sneered Sadakuo “Fine, just release her, please” pleaded Ebhelrim It happened in a flash of bright light. Sadakuo unsheathed his black, fiery sword, and drove it through Cara’s body, like a hot knife through butter. Her shrill cry, pierced the still air, the cave making her scream, seem ten times as louder. Sadakuo smiled, and through Cara’s limp body to the side. “Oops” he said “Nooo!!!” screamed Ebhelrim “You bastard! I’ll kill you!” He sprinted towards the demonic figure, with his sword held high. He jumped and he brought his sword down, to cleave the demon’s head in two, but Sadakuo jerked his head back, and yanked his own sword up to parry. Remembering his training, Ebhelrim disengaged to avoid the parry and jumped to the side. Sadakuo brought his arm up to block the strike, but instead of hitting the hard covered plating of his armour, it sliced through the crease, just below the shoulder blade. Taking the demons arm straight off. There was a thundering roar, which shook the walls of the cave, and two great wings protruded from behind the demons back, lifting him from the ground. “This is not over yet, boy!” he roared, as he soared back through the opening into the sunset sky. “No” Ebhelrim whispered, “It is not” Ebhelrim dropped his sword, and looked over towards Cara’s still body. He sprinted over to her and knelt by her side, a tear caressing his face as he did so. “Cara” he said firmly “Cara, look at me! Please” Her eyelids started to flutter, and she whispered his name. He leant in further and brushed his lips softly against hers. He pulled away, wiping the tears, which had formed in his eyes away. “I’m going to get you some help, OK” he said, shakily “You’re going to be alright, do you hear me. Stay awake!” Cara smiled and put her hand in his. He squeezed her hand, not wanting to ever let go, not wanting her to let go, not to give up. “I don’t know what I will do if you ever left me. I wouldn’t survive, I love you Cara, please don’t leave” he said, “I love you” he added, once more. She looked into his eyes and smiled, “I know” were the only words she said. She touched his face with her hand, and he leant into her touch. Again he leaned his head and kissed her once more. As she kissed back, warmth started to spread through Ebhelrim, but then she stopped. Her grip loosened in his hand and her eyes closed. Letting go of his face, the other hand fell o the ground, as she let go of that one last breath. “No” Ebhelrim whimpered, “Come back Cara, come back” He held her in his arms, in that cave for, only the gods know for how long, he lifted her up, carrying her in his arms, back down through the Valley of the Seers, and back into their home village of Tarthus, people whispering and pointing as he past. He carried her up to their small cottage, which they had bought on top of the hill over looking the village, and he placed her peaceful looking body under the large oak tree. Turning around, he looked out in the reddening horizon, wondering what he would do now. Five years on, back to the now. Ebhelrim stared out, back into that same horizon. He knew now what had to be done. He was not going to stop until he found him. Sadakuo. He will pour the five years worth of misery and despair down that demons throat until he choked. Slinging his carrying bag, over his shoulder and feeling the handle of his sword. He started down the hill. Halfway down, a soft sudden rush of wind forced him to look back on top of the hill and for a split second, he thought he saw Cara standing there, next to the Oak tree. Barely there, but still visible, but then she was gone. He closed his eyes, and heard a soft caring voice in his ear say: “I don’t blame you, you know. You came for me, and that’s all that matters” He took a deep breath, turned back around and continued down that winding path. So, there it is. Be sure to post your comments and stuff to let me know how you all liked it, and ... stuff haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Doctor Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 This kind of thing belongs in here, not in Ahto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 hmm okie dokie, just wasnt sure, because i remember Pottsie doing something somewhat 'familiar' to this. This isnt an on going story or anything, i dunno why i put chapter 1 there lol. It was just something i put up, to see what people thought about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 hmm okie dokie, just wasnt sure, because i remember Pottsie doing something somewhat 'familiar' to this. This isnt an on going story or anything, i dunno why i put chapter 1 there lol. It was just something i put up, to see what people thought about it. Yeah, I did with my English Coursework. A hint for those non-Star Wars Fics. Post them in Ahto, not the CEC. Good story though Mr_BFA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 This kind of thing belongs in here, not in Ahto. Only Star Wars-related stories are allowed in the CEC, Doc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Nope, non-Star Wars fiction is very-much allowed in CEC, as far as I know. Wasn't one of Doctor's fanfics set in a separate fictional universe? I would advise you to go full-blown and post any piece of fiction/non-fiction/story in the Entertainment Centre! Don't listen to those weird Ahtonauts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 One thing Sabre, TheSuperRodian posted his GSCE story in the CEC and it got closed. If the rules weren't as they are, I would be writing an Indiana Jones story in the CEC right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Nope, non-Star Wars fiction is very-much allowed in CEC, as far as I know. your story can be a work-in-progress, an outline, a part of a larger work, or an entire story. and feel free to get creative (that means don't restrict yourself to just Kotor, but stay within the Star Wars universe). feel free to post your stories on any subject you so choose as long as it remains Star Wars related. I've also seen it stated a few times. The Doc's story must've been an excpetion, but we're getting off-topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TSR Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 *curses rules* *random mutterings* yeah, thats a pretty good story there BFA. *rambles on about CEC not allowing non-star wars fics* Only kidding Jae, no need to get the beating stick out again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabretooth Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Alright, I read it again with a more critical mindframe, and well :- I liked the story in itself, it was great, though it felt a little amateur as far as the dialogues and such were concerned. Still, I'll say it was definitely worth the read! Great job! And can we have a sub-forum on these non-SW stories, or atleast allow them in CEC? I'm sure a lot of people have some creative minds of their own, not yet absorbed by the propaganda of George Lucas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TSR Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 And can we have a sub-forum on these non-SW stories, or atleast allow them in CEC? I'm sure a lot of people have some creative minds of their own, not yet absorbed by the propaganda of George Lucas. QF the bleedin' E Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 Thanks for all your comments people Greatly appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.