The_Catto Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 ...I need some advice peoples! All you casanova's out there, come to this thread!! lol. Anyway, on to why im posting this thread, i guess. Alright ... here it goes .. In have known my friends, for a very long time. Some, ive known for a decade or so. And now, we have all finished school, and we are slowly, starting o go our sepereate ways. But there are a 'inner group' of us, i guess you could say that have stayed in touch ever since we finished. I've especially kept in contact with this girl, Jade. She's bloody hilarious, extremely intelligent (even though she would not admit it herself lol) and most of all, she is beautiful. OK, down right gorgeous to be exact. And ive only just realised, as for i dont know how long, i actually have feelings for this girl! I really care about her in a way i never thought i would. But there is a problem. She's moving away, and not 'just' to another city, she's moving to the other side of the damn country! And now i ask this, because i seriously dont know what i should do: If you cared about someone and they were leaving, would you leave it alone and let them go, not knowing what could or could not have happened ... Or say something to them and see? Whoever reads this, thankyou, and whoever replies with some helpful suggestions as to what i should do, thankyou very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Kered Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Dr. D'Albetot to the rescue. Some questions that will make helping you a bit more easier. 1.)Why is she moving? That fact that she is moving might be very important to her. 2.)Do you know if she has any feelings for you? 3.)How long have you noticed these feelings? Do you think that these are emotions of love, or the emotions of seeing some one you know leave? IMO, I would take her out on a date, this will show her that she is important to you. Next start explaining how you have notice some changes, and then you can express your feelings for her. Do not push her into a corner though, but don't be casual with it either. Like for example "I think I love you, do you love me?" or "I have a crush on you! Would you pass the salt please?" You have to make your feelings clear, but not make her feel uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pho3nix Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 The first advice is, don't ask for advice at a Star Wars forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sith'ari Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Dr. D'Albetot couldn't have said it better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 @D'Albetet: Thanks and answers: 1. She hasnt told me why she is moving, perhaps that is a question i should ask. 2. Im not sure if she does or not, we're usually very open with each other about nearly all stuff, but this i think is not one of them. 3. Its just been recently i have realised of these feelings. Im not entirely sure as to whether they mean 'love' or im feeling these as to the fact that she is leaving. I dont want her to leave, but maybe your right. Perhaps the reason to leave is more important than any reason to stay. @Pho3nix: lol, why not ask advice here? it is a Star Wars forum but still! We have faced the saving of a galaxy! i should think i little problem like this would be no problem at all to fix lol ... (however, seems abit too much for me to handle alone hahaha) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hayden Kered Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 No problem. If she has never expressed the same feelings towards you before, then I doubt she does then. She could be moving to get a better career that she can only get from "the other side of the country". But who knows, she could have feelings for you and some thing might happen later down the road. If you two were destined to be together then it will happen. I hope that you will make the right decision, and I wish you the best of luck. Just remember you only get one shot at every thing in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HerbieZ Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Mr_Bfa, first.. ignore Pho3nix. Id talk about my std's* on here if they'd let me . Second, life is too short, so go for it. The single biggest mistake in my life was because i was afraid to act, and yes it was with a girl. *for the purposes of driving the story along, i do not have an std girls, so don't worry. Oh and im available Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St. Jimmy Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Dude, I'm with D'Albetot on this one, Ask her why she's moving... My girlfriend is moving shortly too. We don't know where she's gonna move to yet though. Hopefully, closer to where I am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace MacLeod Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 *weighs in* Well, Mr_BFA, your timing on this one really sucks some major butt. You've had all these years to do something with this Jade chick, and you didn't. Only now when she's leaving do you suddenly develop romantic interest in her. I think you should examine your feelings more closely: is it truly romantic interest, or are just going to be missing your friend because you took for granted that she'd always be around? Only you know for sure. Make sure before you dive headfirst into this one. Questions: over the years, what have been your reactions to her seeing other guys? How did she react to you seeing other girls? Did either one of you ever even blink? Also something to think about: it's also entirely possible this chick was waiting for a first move on your end that never came. Now, it's not fair, but guys really are still expected to make the first move most of the time. You didn't, did you? *shrug* What might that have told her? Anyway, enough doom and gloom; time for the bright side. Maybe Jade really does have feelings for you. Maybe she's just waiting for you to do something about it. There's only one way to find out, isn't there? D'Albetot pretty much nailed what your course of action should be if you think your feelings are genuine. The way I see it, you have two choices here. Either you tell her or you don't. Here's the basics of how they can come out: a) You tell her, and she shares your feelings. *schwing* b) You tell her, and she doesn't share your feelings. D'oh. More than likely, you've just put a bullet through the head of your friendship with her. c) You don't tell her, and she doesn't share your feelings. Oh well. You've just saved yourself some awkwardness. On to greener pastures. d) You don't tell her, but she did share your feelings. Because you didn't say anything, maybe a great potential love just walked out of your life. Double D'oh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jae Onasi Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 *for the purposes of driving the story along, i do not have an std girls, so don't worry. Oh and im available Herbie, just a hint, talking about stds is a big turnoff for girls. Keeping in mind that this is a SW forum, we don't have all the information and haven't seen any of the physical cues between you and her that might give us some idea of what's going on so this may be completely useless advice.... First, spend time with her whether or not you tell her your feelings. She's a good friend and spending time with friends is important, especially when they're getting ready to leave. Second, and this may be girly-type advice, but since I'm a girl, what can I say...you might ask a mutual friend what they think. This works great for girls because we talk to each other a lot (providing there's not a witchy saboteur in your group who'd lie about things just to stir the pot). I don't know if it'll work for guys. Yes, girls do often wait for guys to make the first move. Third, if romance does bloom with her, be aware that long distance relationships are difficult to maintain and require a lot more work. Internet and the phone help a lot, but it's not quite the same as being with that person on a regular basis. Fourth, you only live once. Going with your gut is usually (though not always) the way to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negative Sun Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 GO FOR IT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!! Take advice from an old pro, if you don't take a chance right now you'll regret it forever and still mope about it when you are 90 and shriveled and ugly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MTV2 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 ask her out and give her a good time. show her how much better it is there, and how you like her and care about. show her that you care that she's moving away and that you don't want her to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks people for all your advice ... I've decided, im just gonna take a chance and tell her. If it works out, Woot. If it does not, well ... Always worth the try, aint it? lol, ill be sure to phone in the verdict. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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