Diego Varen Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Star Wars - A Dark Hope Fan.Fiction.Net: A Dark Hope Written: 23rd July 2007 - ??? Published: 25th July 2007 Updated: ??? Last Modified: ??? Genre(s): General, Science Fiction Disclaimer: This is a work of Fan Fiction and it isn’t intended to violate any copyright laws or make any money. LucasArts own the Star Wars series and I own nothing, except the plot and any original characters that make an appearance. Summary: Part One of an alternate Star Wars Original Trilogy. What happened if Anakin Skywalker managed to win the duel on Mustafar? Watch as events begin to change and the galaxy is in a darker situation than it was before. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… Star Wars Part I - A Dark Hope Liberty has died with a thunderous applause, as the GALACTIC REPUBLIC has become the GALACTIC EMPIRE. Now under the rule of CHANCELLOR PALPATINE, his identity has been revealed as the SITH LORD, DARTH SIDIOUS and politicians from across the galaxy, have been forced to serve under him. ANAKIN SKYWALKER has fallen to the dark side, after being manipulated by Sidious, prior to the formation of the Empire. Now known as DARTH VADER, he has carried out the tasks set by Sidious and the JEDI ORDER has been reduced to a small handful of JEDI KNIGHTS now on the run. On the lava planet of MUSTAFAR, Sidious has sent Vader to carry out the last of his plans. Vader’s former JEDI MASTER, OBI-WAN KENOBI has found him and has tried to bring him back to the light side of the FORCE. However, there is no hope for the former CHOSEN ONE, but that doesn’t prevent Obi-Wan for giving it one last try… ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Table of Contents Prologue (25th July 2007) Chapter I - A New Emperor (30th July 2007) Chapter II - Assuming the Dark Throne (1st August 2007) Chapter III - Survival (Part I) (18th August 2007) Chapter IV - Survival (Part II) (18th August 2007) Chapter V - The Rule of Two (26th August 2007) Epilogue (31st August 2007) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “This is where the fun begins!” - Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 25, 2007 Author Share Posted July 25, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Prologue ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Twisted by the dark side, young Skywalker has become. The boy you trained, gone he is… consumed by Darth Vader.” - Yoda to Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fire had consumed the life of Anakin Skywalker. The suicidal world of Mustafar burned around him, as the darkness within him battled with his emotions. Emotions which he had tried to forget about, since his recent fall to the dark side. Like a Krayt Dragon hunting for its prey, Anakin watched as a small ship prepared to dock on the landing bay. He knew who was aboard the ship. It was his wife, Padmé Amidala, who was once the Queen of Naboo and was currently a well-respected Senator. Anakin was looking forward to seeing her again and his excitement of being reunited rose in him, as the ship finally landed. As the sound of the engines finally died down, Anakin watched with glee as the boarding ramp descended. Padmé ran out towards Anakin and he greeted her with a gentle embrace, to reassure her that everything was fine. As he held her in his arms, he realised that the choices he had made in the past were all for her and that he had made the right decisions. To betray the Jedi Order in order to save his true love. His wife. “It’s alright,” Anakin managed to murmur, over the erupting lava below, “You’re safe now.” Anakin noticed her look up at him. He was expecting his eyes to be filled with tears, when she arrived, but he felt nothing, no emotion whatsoever. “What are you doing out here?” She asked, “Obi-Wan has told me terrible things.” Anakin felt his body stiffen at the mention of his former master’s name. His arms that had once held Padmé tight loosened and he stood away from her. “What things?” He asked coldly. “He said you turned to the dark side,” Padmé told him, “That you killed Younglings.” Her words stung Anakin and reminded him of the vicious crime that he had committed. Three years ago, he had slain a group of Tusken Raiders, as if they were animals and he had done the exact same thing to the Younglings. He regretted doing it, but he had done it for Padmé. “Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me,” Anakin told her, a tone of anger in his voice. “He cares about us,” Padmé told him, “He wants to help you.” Help, Anakin thought to himself, the only person who could help him, was himself. “Don’t lie to me Padmé,” Anakin warned her, pointing at her, “I have become more powerful than any Jedi ever dreamed of. And I’ve done it all for you.” Why couldn’t she see that he was trying to help her? Anakin was beginning to get frustrated with his wife, but he didn’t want to show her his frustration, his weakness. He grabbed her arms and held them tight, hoping that she would listen, but he had a feeling that she was trying to do the same thing for him. “To protect you,” He finished. Of course, Anakin knew that what he had just said had nothing to do with Obi-Wan, but he was trying to avoid talking about the mentor he once admired. He wanted to spend some time with his wife, even if he was being accused of terrible things that he had done. “I don’t want your power,” Padmé answered back, “Anakin, all I want is your love.” “Love won’t save you Padmé,” Anakin told her, making it sound like a threat, “Only my new powers can do that.” “But at what cost?” Padmé asked, fear in her voice, “You’re a good person, don’t do this.” Padmé’s comment made Anakin remember someone very close to him. The one person who was there for him, for the first nine years of his life. It was only when he left to become a Jedi that the person he knew for the first few years of his life, had been taken away from him. “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother!” He told her, his temper rising. “Come away with me,” Padmé continued, now on the verge of begging, “Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can.” Anakin didn’t listen. He had decided that he wouldn’t listen to anything that Padmé suggested, unless she would agree with him. “Don’t you see?” Anakin asked, leaning forward eagerly, “We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic. I’m more powerful than the Chancellor, I can overthrow him and together you and I can rule the galaxy. We can make things the way we want them to be.” Anakin watched as Padmé recoiled. He knew what she was thinking, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was him and his wife, together again, after so much seperation, because of the Jedi Order and their rules. “I don’t believe what I’m hearing!” Padmé shouted, “Obi-Wan was right. You’ve changed.” Anakin stared at Padmé and he let his emotions took over. “I don’t want to hear anymore about Obi-Wan!” Anakin warned, before he controlled himself, a tone of anger still in his voice, “The Jedi turned against me, don’t you turn against me.” Anakin felt alone now. Now that he had thrown away his life as a Jedi Knight, he was prepared to continue his life as a Sith Lord, under the rule of Darth Sidious and together they would rule the Galactic Empire. That didn’t compare to the one person Anakin loved most. Padmé. “Stop now,” Padmé continued to beg, “Come back! I love you!” “Liar!” Anakin shouted, “You’re with him!” As he called upon the dark side of the Force to choke her and as he shouted his own accusations, he noticed someone standing inside the ship. Obi-Wan Kenobi. --------------- Obi-Wan Kenobi had been standing inside the ship for at least five minutes. He had heard everything that Anakin had said. He knew how much he had fallen to the dark side. “No!” Padmé managed to gasp. “Let her go Anakin!” Obi-Wan shouted, “Let her go!” Anakin did as he said and let Padmé go. As she fell to the floor, Obi-Wan ran from the ship towards her. He flung his brown robe aside and bent down to check on her. She was alive and not in any immediate danger, but Obi-Wan wouldn’t have any time to attend to her, especially if Anakin was planning to kill him. He stood up and prepared to see for himself what his apprentice had truly become. “You turned her against me!” Anakin cried, flinging the accusation at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan looked at Anakin. He seemed venerable, but he was angry and that emotion seemed to be the only thing he was holding onto. “You have done that yourself!” Obi-Wan shouted, somehow managing to keep a control of his temper, “You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind until now, now you’ve become something you swore to destroy.” Obi-Wan was referring to Anakin’s new master, Chancellor Palpatine who was the Sith Lord, Darth Sidious. Obi-Wan knew of the friendship the two of them had shared and he knew that Anakin had been friends with the Chancellor since he was nine years old. It was now that Obi-Wan realised that the Chancellor, the Sith Lord, had been manipulating Anakin for the entire time that he had known him. “Don’t make me kill you!” Anakin shouted. Obi-Wan was startled by Anakin’s comment, but he tried to ignore it. He reflected back on the training that the Jedi Master, Yoda had taught every single Jedi in their early days of training. He had always warned them, over and over that once someone had started down the dark path, that it would forever dominate their destiny. He knew that it was too late for Anakin, but there was always a chance for redemption. “Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic, to democracy!” Obi-Wan shouted. Politics, Obi-Wan thought, I hope I never become a member. “If you are not with me,” Anakin interrupted, “Then you are my enemy.” And Obi-Wan knew who Anakin was now. Once they were friends, but all the comments Anakin had made, had made him an enemy. He pulled his robe off and it fell to the floor. Obi-Wan reached into his belt and pulled out his weapon, a lightsaber. The lightsaber wasn’t a mere sword, but a weapon with an energy blade, that could cut through anything and it was the main weapon of a Jedi. Or a Sith. In the hands of an expert, the lightsaber was an elegant weapon and would fight with a certain style. In the hands of a novice, the lightsaber made more damage to its owner than its enemies. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes,” Obi-Wan stated, “I will do what I must.” Obi-Wan pressed the button on the side of his lightsaber and a blue blade appeared. It was accompanied by a gentle hum. “You will try,” He told Obi-Wan. --------------- Anakin ignited his own lightsaber and a blue blade appeared. The moment was finally here. The moment that Anakin would kill his former mentor. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t back down and he was a worthy opponent. As he used the Force to leap backwards, Anakin watched as Obi-Wan used his lightsaber as an instinctive parry. They had sparred together so often, that both of them knew their favourite moves. Anakin knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t have to think about countering his attack. Lightsabers humming, the two Jedi battled their way across the landing bay and down into a control centre. For Anakin, it felt like another training session, except for the exploding equipment. Soon, the two Jedi found themselves in the conference room. There were headless and limbless bodies on the floor. Anakin could remember the moment he murdered several of the Separatist leaders. He was hoping that Obi-Wan’s body would soon join that pile, but he still didn’t back down. His arms moved, weaving light into a deadly shield against all of Anakin’s blows. Anakin did a back flip onto the table to gain the high ground. Obi-Wan didn’t follow and instead, he threw himself into a long slide, bowling Anakin over, his lightsaber falling from his grip. He hadn’t expected that. Obi-Wan now had his lightsaber, but he had been distracted by it and Anakin used it to his advantage and charged him. Before Obi-Wan could fight back, Anakin was on him. His left hand gripped onto Obi-Wan’s right wrist, holding him off from using any lightsaber, while his mechanical right hand fought to get his lightsaber back. The durasteel and servomotor mechanical hand proved stronger than Obi-Wan’s flesh and bone. Anakin finally got his lightsaber back and the battle resumed. Fighting their way out of the conference room, they fought on a balcony that overlooked a deadly river of lava. A slim pipe led from the control centre to a collection plant on the other side. Anakin made his attacks stronger and harder, forcing Obi-Wan onto the pipe, where one little mistake could send anyone plummeting down into the lava. Crossing a collection pipe was difficult. Crossing a thin collection was even more difficult. Even for the greatest Jedi, it was difficult. Anakin smiled as he noticed Obi-Wan faltering. The only thing that saved him was his Jedi reflexes and agility. On the opposite side, Anakin tried to rush him again, driving him back onto the collection plates. But the collection plant had never been designed to handle the weight of two men. Earlier in the heat of the battle, Anakin had accidentally destroyed the shield controls that protected the plant from the lava. It was going to weaken the structure. The lava certainly did that and a huge section of the collection plant broke away and fell, taking the two Jedi with it. But the fight still continued, even as the two Jedi fell. At this point, both men didn’t have an advantage over the other. Soon, Anakin found himself on a droid platform that floated above the lava. For the first time in the battle, Obi-Wan tried to convince him to return to the light side. “I have failed you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan told him, “I have failed you.” Anakin nodded in agreement and wondering if Obi-Wan had regretted taking on an apprentice like him. “I should have known that the Jedi were plotting to take over!” Anakin shouted. “Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!” Obi-Wan shouted back. “Well in my point of view, the Jedi are evil!” Anakin continued to shout. Anakin knew that those words would hurt Obi-Wan. Anakin was speaking from his own pain and he felt the dark side grow stronger within him, feeding on his despair. He ignored all emotions and used it to his advantage. As Anakin finally came close enough to attack Obi-Wan again, Obi-Wan leapt backwards, leaving Anakin to stare at him from below. “It’s over Anakin!” Obi-Wan shouted, “I have the high ground!” “You underestimate my power!” Anakin shouted back. “Don’t try it,” Obi-Wan warned. Anakin ignored him and leapt towards him. He noticed Obi-Wan trying to slice through the air, hoping to injure Anakin in the process. He failed and Anakin landed behind him. Surprised and shocked, Anakin had his advantage and stabbed Obi-Wan. He had won and as Obi-Wan fell to the ground, he kicked his body down the hill, his body almost touching the lava. Anakin had won and his former mentor had now been defeated. He had broken a vow. He had fallen to the dark side. He had risen as a Sith Lord. No longer was he a pawn of the Jedi and he was now a Sith Lord. Now he was Darth Vader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediMaster12 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Critic mode engaged: First off I am amazed that you followed that scene on Mustafar V almost to the letter except where you diverge into Anakin killing Obi-Wan. However, critically I think you made it too easy for Anakin to kill Obi-Wan. Remember that Obi-Wan is a Jedi Master. Also he had a reluctance to seek Anakin out to kill him, or rather face him. It would have been better if you went through the whole fight scene with Anakin and Obi-Wan. You then would have the opportunity to add in dialogue there like taunting or directed anger towards Obi-Wan. It would also alllow you to echo thoughts. Even more better would be that you create thoughts during that whole dialogue exchange between Ani and Padme. Sometimes what is unspoken tells the story as well. As I said, it would have been better if you extended the chapter to include the fight scene. It allows for more creativity and the big bonus is that you can show the weariness of Obi-Wan, the anger burning in Anakin's eyes. There's more to the story than straight telling. In a way this is more like the Gospel of Mark in the New Testament. There is no extension to the base feelings there. While it is good in some cases, I tend to believe that stories should filll the senses. My favorite analogy is pretending that the audience is blind and you have to be the person tthat sees for them. I always suggest that writer's keep that in mind. With all that said and done I hope that this helps in terms of editing and the posting of future chapters. So I'll be signing off... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 25, 2007 Author Share Posted July 25, 2007 Thanks for the reply JM12. Anyway, this being the Prologue is the first part in the series and I followed this off the movie and the alternate ending off the game. I didn't really want to modify it much, until after the Prologue. Thanks for the critics anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted July 30, 2007 Author Share Posted July 30, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Chapter I - From the Ashes ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!” - Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why? That question rang through Obi-Wan’s mind as his body ached. Why could mean many things and Obi-Wan didn’t know what. No one answered his question, the only sounds that he could hear were his dying breaths and the sounds of the suicidal planet. Why did you fall? The call of the dark side was strong. For a person like Anakin, the call of the dark side was stronger. He had been taken into the Jedi Order late, at the age of nine whereas most people would join the Jedi at a very young age. He had fallen in love, a feeling that the Jedi disallowed. Why did you defy us? Chancellor Palpatine, Darth Sidious. That man had two identities, his true identity being a Sith Lord. He had been manipulating Anakin since the day he had met him. The day Obi-Wan’s master, Qui-Gon Jinn had taken Anakin to show the Jedi of his abilities. Why did you kill everyone, including innocent children? Orders of Sidious perhaps? Perhaps it was the call of the dark side. Obi-Wan had no idea, but the dark side wasn’t forgiving and everyone who was weak, died. That included children, with their lives ahead of them. Why am I pain? Obi-Wan wanted to scream, but he couldn’t. His body hurt so much. Will I die now? Yes. Obi-Wan definitely knew the answer to this question. He let himself go. Calm, centred, free for the moment. Of all the sorrow and despair, the living Force continued to protect him, even in death. It was the best feeling Obi-Wan had ever felt in his life. It was at this point that Obi-Wan could remember a piece of the Jedi Code, a code he had known all of his life. There is no death, there is the Force. What happens now? And as the Force took him, he felt peace and tranquillity, as he passed onto another world. The world of the Force, where deceased Jedi of the past welcomed him with open arms. For the first time in a long time, there was nothing to worry about. --------------- Anakin Skywalker, now under the identity of Darth Vader smirked as he watched the man who had trained him for thirteen years of his life, lying still below him. There was no movement at all and he knew that Obi-Wan was far from alive. The Force had taken him and Vader knew it. The duel had been the longest Vader had ever fought in and now it was all over. Just as Vader thought, Obi-Wan had lost and one of the only Jedi Masters who had survived the execution of Order 66 had been killed. Vader didn’t regret anything though, for he had done what had to be done. To carry out the orders of Darth Sidious, lord of the Sith. Something in the Force alerted Vader and he felt a familiar presence nearby. Sidious was somewhere on Mustafar, waiting for him. It didn’t seem strange to Vader that Sidious was on the planet, but there was a question that ran through Vader’s mind. Why was he on Mustafar? Other questions ran through his mind as well. Why would he be after Vader, even though he had done what Sidious had requested? Was it to congratulate him? Or was it to kill him? Or to tell him what he would have to do for the rest of his life? It was at that moment that Vader realised that he had made the wrong choice. His descent to the dark side was his own choice, but it was a good choice. To serve anyone, including Sidious was a bad choice. Vader knew what he had to do. And what he planned to do, it would involve Vader never serving anyone again. --------------- After a short trek around Mustafar, Vader soon found Sidious, who had landed on another landing pad. Eight Clone Troopers surrounded the Sith Lord and he waited patiently for Vader to approach him. Dark thoughts clouded his mind, as Vader strode past the Clone Troopers. When he finally stood in front of Sidious, he looked up at Vader. “Excellent work my apprentice,” Sidious began, “There are none left to oppose us.” Vader smiled. He knew that Sidious was lying, for there were several survivors after Order 66, most importantly, Yoda. “The galaxy is ours now,” Sidious continued. Vader knew that Sidious was wrong. The galaxy would belong to Vader, as soon as he did what he had to do. Vader watched carefully as Sidious reached into his robe and held out a lightsaber. “Your new weapon, Lord Vader,” Sidious stated, as Vader took the lightsaber. Before carrying out his plan, he observed his new lightsaber. It was similar to his first lightsaber and was similar to it in every way, other than the fact that it would have a red blade and it would be used for evil acts. Vader threw his lightsaber in the air and quickly turned around to ignite his lightsaber in Sidious’ abdomen. From the corner of his eye, he could see the Clone Troopers raising their blaster rifles, at the sight of Sidious’ death. Vader ignored them and looked at Sidious. He seemed to smile as he died. Perhaps it was because Sidious had finally trained a traitor. Vader turned around as Sidious’ body fell to the ground. “No!” Vader shouted, “The galaxy belongs to me!” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 1, 2007 Author Share Posted August 1, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Chapter II - Assuming the Dark Throne ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “We were establishing a new era, an era of order and peace.” - Anonymous 501st Stormtrooper, Unknown ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vader observed the Clone Troopers carefully. He waited to see what their reactions were, but they just stood still, their blaster rifles aimed at Vader. They soon lowered their weapons, but they were wary and unaware of what Vader would try to do next. Vader could feel their fear, but it wasn’t a bad thing. That fear would be used to make them more powerful, as with the rest of the Clone Army that had joined the cause of the new Galactic Empire. “I’m Darth Vader,” He told them, “And I’m your new leader. Do you understand?” The troopers nodded weakly. “Good,” Vader continued, surprised that there was no resistance, “Hold your ground and find the remaining Separatist leaders. Find them, but don’t kill them. Meanwhile, I’ve got to address the Senate of the latest updates.” Vader pulled the hood over his robe and walked up the boarding ramp, into the shuttle that Sidious had used to get to Mustafar. Just before the ramp closed, Vader turned to his small army and had one last thing to tell them. “Failure will not be tolerated,” He warned. --------------- Inside the shuttle, Vader knew that he had found himself, aboard one of the most comfortable ships he had ever been on. The walls, floors and ceilings were white all over and there were hardly any objects to be seen. All Vader could see was a small table, with four chairs that surrounded it and one bunk. It was at this point that Vader realised something. This ship wasn’t only the most comfortable it was also the tidiest. Opposite Vader, there was a large door. He guessed that it led to the cockpit and he was right, when he approached the door, which opened automatically. Inside the cockpit, he could see two troopers at the control of the ship’s controls. One of the troopers was the pilot, while the other was the co-pilot. As the door closed behind him, the pilots turned around to see Vader. Vader stood in between the two pilots. “You will take me to Coruscant,” Vader told them, “I’ve got an empire to resume the command of.” “Where is Sidious?” The co-pilot asked. Vader almost lost his temper, but he managed to calm himself down. The mention of Sidious was beginning to make him hate everything the Sith had stood for, while Sidious had been in command. Vader knew that he would be a better leader for the Sith than Sidious ever would. It was arrogant, but Vader knew it. “Just take me to Coruscant,” Vader told them, trying to ignore the co-pilot’s comment, “And tell me when you get there.” The pilots didn’t argue anymore and got to work. Vader left the cockpit and lay on the bunk. He decided to get some rest, since he didn’t have long before he had to address everyone in the Senate about their new leader and new plans. Vader leant back on the bunk and he let himself drift into a sleep. --------------- R2-D2, an astromech droid jumped out of the back of the Jedi Interceptor ship that Anakin had used to get to Mustafar. It had been a while, since the fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan had begun, but Artoo had decided to attend to Padmé. As Artoo approached Padmé’s lifeless body, Artoo was reunited with his protocol droid counterpart, C-3P0. “Artoo,” Threepio asked, “I’m so glad to see you again.” Artoo beeped happily, as Threepio walked out of the ship. “Let’s get her inside,” Threepio told Artoo, “There is some Jedi Master by the name of Master Forma who claims he can help Miss Padmé.” Artoo beeped in agreement and helped Threepio take Padmé onto the ship. There wasn’t much time left, it she was still alive. --------------- As Vader walked out of the shuttle, he was immediately greeting by the downpour of heavy rain. In the distance, he could see that the fire that once blazed around the Jedi Temple had now died down and thick grey smoke had taken its place. “Hallo Annie!” A voice shouted. Vader turned around to see the Gungan, Jar Jar Binks. Vader had met the clumsy Gungan thirteen years ago, being a friend of his for a short time. Afterwards, Vader and Jar Jar never saw each other again, if only occasionally. Jar Jar had become a representative for the Senate, just as Vader had become a Jedi. “Take me to the Senate Chamber,” Vader told Jar Jar coldly, “I’m afraid something bad has happened to Chancellor Palpatine and everyone in the Senate needs to know.” Jar Jar bowed and led Vader towards the Senate Chamber. --------------- For the first time in Vader’s life, he was standing in front of thousands of people, politicians, citizens and visitors. For the first time in Vader’s life, he was standing in a place where only Sidious would have stood. For the first time in Vader’s life, he could soon be recognised as a politician. “Greetings everyone,” Vader began, as the crowd quietened down, “I’m Anakin Skywalker, a close friend of Chancellor Palpatine. He has already told you of the treachery that the Jedi Order has committed. My former Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi killed the chancellor in cold blood, but I made sure that he paid the price. The chancellor’s dying wish was for me to take control of the Empire he forged and to take it into a new era. An era not only of peace and order, but to control the galaxy!” The crowd cheered and applauded, deafening any cries of disagreement or anything else otherwise. Vader smiled, as he knew that he would soon have the entire galaxy serving him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 2, 2007 Author Share Posted August 2, 2007 Could someone please reply to this? This is getting reviews on FanFiction.Net and I would expect to see it here as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JediAthos Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 I'll apologize for not replying before now. I've actually read this twice because I wasn't really sure what I thought the first time through. That said, I do like what you have going here Topsite. I've always liked alternative history type stories and even as I watch the movies now I sometimes wonder what would have happened if Anakin's body had completely survived his duel on Mustafaar. So, I look forward to see where you go with this and encourage you to keep going! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 10, 2007 Author Share Posted August 10, 2007 Thanks for the reply JediAthos. I've been offline recently (due to problems with my Internet) and this is one of my only chances to get on the Internet for a while. But by the time the Internet is back on my computer, I shall post the next two chapters on both here and FanFiction.Net. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 Hey, Topsite. I haven't been on the Internet for a long while long enough to read or reply to anything really, but I just finished reading what you have here and I have to say, I am impressed. I wasn't quite sure what I would think about the story before I read it, but as the old saying goes, "Never judge a book by it's cover." And that's exactly what's happened here. Well done, and I, myself, am looking forward as to where you take this story. Especially now that Anakin is as powerful as he is, it will be hard for any rebellion of any kind to overthrow him. Which is, re-he-he-he-heeeeaaaally interesting. Once again .. Well done. Looking forward to the next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 11, 2007 Author Share Posted August 11, 2007 Thanks for the comments Mr_BFA and it is nice to see you again. Anyway, as I said before, I shall post new chapters, as soon as the Internet on my computer works again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kas'!m Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 It seems a lot like the alternate ending to the ROTS game. Is that what inspired you? If so, can I expect a Vader vs. Yoda? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 11, 2007 Author Share Posted August 11, 2007 It seems a lot like the alternate ending to the ROTS game. Is that what inspired you? If so' date=' can I expect a Vader vs. Yoda?[/quote'] Yes this was inspired by the alternate ending, as I mentioned in an earlier post. Vader will fight Yoda later on in this Fan Fic. Edit: Also, a crazy member on FanFiction.Net has stolen this story. I've reported him, but the staff are really lazy and don't really bother to ban anyone. Obviously, nobody here can do anything about it, but I just thought that you'd like to know. The link is here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor Devon Posted August 12, 2007 Share Posted August 12, 2007 Looks more like a spam-fest under the guise of a fic than an actual effort at plagiarism. Most of the pages tell you to do yourself or say "BLAHBLAHBLAH." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2007 Author Share Posted August 18, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Chapter III - Survival (Part I) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “You die in childbirth.” - Anakin Skywalker, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When they fled from Coruscant, the Jedi Master, Yoda left his destination to Bail Organa. For reasons unknown to Yoda, the Senator chose an obscure archaeological project on the unpopulated asteroid Polis Massa. There they set up a homing beacon and waited for Obi-Wan and any other Jedi who had survived to gather on Polis Massa. Without anything else to do but wait, Yoda decided to mediate in a quiet room. For some time, someone had tried to contact Yoda through the Force. Because of the strength of the dark side, the “being” as Yoda called it couldn’t contact him. But now that the dark side was weaker on Polis Massa, the being managed to make contact. “Qui-Gon Jinn!” Yoda shouted, speaking through the Force, “Still much to learn, there is.” “Patience!” Qui-Gon responded, “You will have the time I did not. With my help, you will be able to merge with the Force at will and still retain your individual consciousness.” Yoda marvelled and what Qui-Gon had told him. Eternal life. “The story of Darth Plagueis was true, in a way,” Qui-Gon continued, “The ability to defy death can be achieved, but only for oneself. It was never accomplished by Darth Plagueis, only by a Shaman of the Whills and it will never be achieved by a Sith Lord. It is a state acquired through compassion, not greed.” The thought was stunning. The ability to become one with the Force. It was the greatest power of all. Yoda bowed his head in respect to the late Jedi Master. “A great Jedi Master, you have become Qui-Gon Jinn,” He told him, “Your apprentice, I gratefully become.” Qui-Gon disappeared and Yoda woke from his meditation. The connection between them was broken, but Qui-Gon would have no trouble in reaching him, now that he had succeeded once. Bail entered the room and Yoda turned to see him. “A Jedi Master is on his way here,” Bail told Yoda, “But it isn’t Obi-Wan.” Yoda already knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t be coming. He had sensed his death, just before arriving on Polis Massa, but he didn’t want to tell Bail about it. At least it was some good news and Yoda decided not to worry about anything for now. --------------- “Padawan!” Someone shouted from the midst of the battle, “Padawan, where are you?” There was no reply. The army of Trade Federation battle droids had been defeated, but the Clone Troopers had turned onto their masters, trying to kill them. “Master!” Someone shouted back. The Jedi Master didn’t reply and ran through the Troopers, killing the occasional Trooper as he ran. Thousands of battle droid parts and Trooper’s bodies were on the floor, as the Jedi Master stepped over each and every single one. They had fought a good battle and the Jedi Master was sure they would win, but since the Troopers had decided to attack their masters, the Jedi Master wasn’t sure. Perhaps the Jedi Master was fighting another battle, one that he couldn’t possibly win. --------------- The Jedi Master, Neb Forma immediately woken up and his eyes were set on the unconscious body in front of him. It was Padmé and he had been previously watching over her with discontent. She had been unconscious for sometime now and Neb was starting to get worried. “Where to Master Jedi?” Threepio asked over the controls. Neb looked out of the window as he noticed that he couldn’t see Mustafar anymore. During his observations over Padmé, he had noticed that she was visibly pregnant. There was only one place to go. A place where the surviving Jedi had set up a beacon. “Polis Massa,” Neb told Threepio, “I’ve sent a signal there and some people will be expecting me there.” He looked at Padmé and added, “After that, we’ll have to return to Naboo, her home world.” There were a lot of things on Neb’s mind. How many of the Jedi had survived? Were they the last hope to get rid of the dark taint in the galaxy? Or were there others who could help them? Nevertheless, Neb knew that he couldn’t give up and he wouldn’t give up. Polis Massa was in sight and Neb prepared for the worst, if there weren’t many Jedi left. --------------- Bail watched as the Jedi that Yoda had told him about stood in front of them. He watched as both of them bowed to each other in unison, before the two droids took Padmé off the ship. “Take her to the medical centre quickly,” Bail told everyone, taking one shocked look at Padmé. He was glad that there were medical facilities on Polis Massa, for he had been half afraid that on an isolated asteroid, the facilities would be too primitive to help Padmé. When Bail and the two Jedi reached the observation room, the medical droids began their work. Sooner than any of them expected, one of the droids approached the window. Bail and the two Jedi walked up to the droid and it began to inform them of Padmé’s current situation. “Medically, she is completely healthy,” the droid began, “For reasons we can’t explain, we are losing her.” It wasn’t possible. Bail was with Padmé earlier and she was fine. What had happened now? “She’s dying?” The Jedi, who Bail didn’t know, asked. “We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies,” the droid continued. “Babies?” Bail asked. “She’s carrying twins,” The droid told him. Yoda looked up at the two men. “Save them, we must,” He commanded. And so the droids continued their work. Yoda insisted that the other Jedi, Neb should join him and Bail. Bail noticed that Neb was trying to decline Yoda’s offer, but Yoda told Neb that human contact would help. Without question, the three of them watched Padmé give birth. --------------- Padmé yelled out, as the droids were delivering her babies. Never in her life, had she felt so much pain in her body. She supposed that giving birth was like this. That it was worth the pain. Padmé noticed the droid holding something. It was the first of her twins. He was wrinkled and red-faced, his eyes shut tight by the light. “It’s a boy,” The droid told Padmé, holding the baby in front of Padmé. “Luke,” She whispered loudly, brushing her fingers on his forehead. The second baby was delivered as Padmé screamed for one last time. Once again, the droid held something and it was the second of her twins. “It’s a girl,” The droid told Padmé. Unlike her twin brother, this baby’s eyes were wide open and she stared in Padmé’s direction, as if she was trying to memorize her mother’s appearance. “Leia,” Padmé said. “Twins you have,” Yoda told her, “Give up, you must not.” Padmé knew that Yoda was right, but how could she carry on? Anakin had left her for a life of darkness and she had twins she couldn’t look after. “Save your energy,” A strange Jedi suggested. “We need to keep her alive!” Bail shouted out. And that was all that Padmé could hear, before she lost consciousness. --------------- “What can we do to keep her alive?” Neb asked impatiently. “If she stays in a coma like this,” the droid began, “There is a chance she will wake at a later date. Would that be alright with you all?” Neb knew that it was going to be the best they could do and he noticed the other two nodding. It seemed unfair that they were decided what would happen with her. The husband should’ve been there to see the birth, but the dark side had taken him and there was nothing they could do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 18, 2007 Author Share Posted August 18, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Chapter IV - Survival (Part II) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I’m going to end this, once and for all.” - Mace Windu, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mace Windu stared at his severed hand in horror, as he screamed out, because of the pain. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Chancellor Palpatine, or rather Darth Sidious smirking, as he too stared at Mace’s detached hand. “Power!” Sidious cried and shouted at the same time, “Unlimited power!” The Sith Lord fired a new bolt of Force lightning, in which its impact sent Mace flying out of the broken window. As Mace fell from the window, he knew that he wanted revenge on Sidious for what he had done. Revenge wasn’t a Jedi trait, but Mace wanted to kill the Sith and anyone else who had stood in his way. Mace was going to end the Sith threat once and for all and the so-called Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker had prevented that from happening. Using the Force, Mace’s fast descent slowed down to an almost floating stance in the air. Mace looked around for a suitable spot to land, so that from there, he would be able to contact someone and get help for his hand. --------------- Sweating, Mace woke up in a medical hospital. The past was coming back to haunt him. His hand had been reconstructed as a mechanical hand. It was something Mace didn’t really want, but it would do. It was better than not having a hand at all. Mace felt exhausted. He knew that he needed a lot of rest after the current events and as soon as the hospital staff would talk to him, he wanted to at least stay awake for them. --------------- A speeder sped towards Mace, as he waved frantically, trying to get some attention. As the speeder pulled up, Mace walked up to it and its doors opened. Inside, Mace saw a protocol droid at the controls, surrounded by a small interior. “Master Windu,” The droid addressed, “Where would you like to go?” Mace got inside the speeder and sat next to its droid pilot. “The nearest hospital on Coruscant please,” Mace told the droid, “And be as quick as you can. I have a feeling that something will go wrong in the near future.” And he knew that he would soon be correct with his prediction. --------------- More past events came rushing back. Once more, Mace woke up, but he wasn’t sweating as much as the last time. In front of him, he saw a man dressed in white uniform, surrounded by two droids. They weren’t protocol droids or astromech droids, but medical droids. Mace believed that the man in white was one of the hospital staff. “Master Windu,” the man in white began, “How do you feel?” Mace held his head in agony. It ached and Mace wondered if he had been drugged. “Fine, thank you,” Mace lied. “Good,” the man replied with a slight chuckle, “Now don’t panic about what I’m going to say. You’re not on Coruscant, but on Polis Massa.” Polis Massa. Why was he there? On an asteroid, forgotten to the majority of the galaxy. What happened to getting treatment from the nearest medical hospital on Coruscant? “You were taken to the medical hospital on Coruscant,” the man continued, “Before you were referred here for more specialised treatment.” That explained it. Mace wasn’t particular happy with the situation and being trapped in a hospital, he didn’t know what was happening outside. He wanted to get out as soon as possible. “You need more rest for now,” The man told him, “After that, you’ll be free to go.” The man and his two droids left Mace on his own. “Thank you,” Mace replied, trying to get some sleep. --------------- In the distance, he saw a man in black, holding two lightsabers. One was a red blade, while the other was a blue blade. Another blade joined the other two. This blade was purple and it was his own lightsaber. “No matter how much you try, the Sith threat will never return,” He threatened, “You will lose.” “You’re wrong, for you are the one who has lost this day,” The man in black answered back, “I see through the lies of the Jedi Order and its teachings. Your order is flawed and its last living survivors will soon join those who died recently and in the past few millennia.” “Let us end this now,” He interrupted, “I was never the one for a quick chat, Chosen One.” The battle began and the lightsabers clashed together. --------------- Once again, Mace woke up, sweating and panting. For the first time in a long time, he had a nightmare. It wasn’t exactly a nightmare though. It seemed to be a vision of the future. But if that was a vision of the future, why were the two men fighting? Why were there threats of ending the Jedi and the Sith? Why did the two men seem powerful in the Force? Mace knew that he had to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. The two men would soon fight on Polis Massa and Mace didn’t fancy being on the asteroid by the time that happened. Without looking back, Mace snuck out of the ward he had been in and ran out, looking for the nearest ship he could find. 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Kas'!m Posted August 18, 2007 Share Posted August 18, 2007 Ah, good to see Mace back it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RellioN Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Nice story writing, where do you learn this? Or do you just practice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 I just practiced RellioN and thanks for the comments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 26, 2007 Author Share Posted August 26, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Chapter V - The Rule of Two ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody the power; the other to crave it.” - Darth Bane, Star Wars Darth Bane: Path of Destruction ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vader had left the Senate Chamber several hours earlier and he was ready to begin work on his empire. There was someone, however who needed to be killed. Master Yoda. Vader knew that with him dead, the remaining Jedi in the galaxy would be a lot weaker and more disorganised. Disorganisation was what Vader wanted with the remaining Jedi. When he arrived at the landing bay, his shuttle was prepared to leave and Vader walked aboard it. As he lay on his bunk, he knew where Yoda was. On the ship, Tantive IV, a ship which belonged to Bail Organa. It was at that moment that Vader decided to rest, before arriving at Tantive, to kill Yoda. Vader knew why Obi-Wan never liked politics. It was quite boring. Without thinking about anything, Vader lay back on his bunk and fell asleep. --------------- “Where am I?” Vader woke up to see himself in a dark tomb. The only source of light was a small hole in the ceiling, a small ray of sunlight illuminating a small part of the room. Unaware of what was in the room, Vader ignited both of his lightsabers and someone stood in front of him. From the looks of it, it was a man, who like Vader, looked like a Sith in every way. “Two there should be; no more, no less,” The man began, “One to embody the power; the other to crave it.” Vader walked towards the man, cautious of everything. “What are you talking about?” Vader asked. The man looked up. “I am the Dark Lord who will restore the Sith to glory,” The man continued, “They call me Bane.” “I’m restoring the Sith to glory,” Vader told Bane, “Not you.” Bane remained silent and ignited his own lightsaber, which was exactly the same as Vader’s red lightsaber. “What were you saying before?” Vader continued to ask, interested in Bane. “The Rule of Two,” Bane told him, “Two there should be; no more, no less. One to embody the power; the other to crave it.” Vader withdrew his lightsabers and Bane did the same. “That man, Sidious,” Bane began, changing the subject, “He believed in the Rule of Two for all of his life and he continued the tradition after my time. You shall do the same.” “Why should I?” Vader asked. “Think of how much stronger you will be, as the emperor of the galaxy,” Bane told him, “Think of how much stronger you will be and how much stronger your future apprentice will be.” Vader thought for a moment. He had plans to build a Sith Order, to replace the eradicated Jedi Order, but should he listen to a Sith Lord who had died millennia ago? But then again, if he was the only Sith Lord in the galaxy, then he would have all the power. “I agree with you, Bane,” Vader told him finally, “But who is strong enough to become my apprentice?” “Your son,” Bane told him, “He currently resides on Tatooine, at your stepbrother’s home.” So Padmé did manage to give birth. And to a son too. Being a father, Vader could pass on his knowledge of the dark side of the Force to him. Vader smiled. “Thank you Lord Bane,” Vader said finally, “Your advice has helped me. I shall do as you ask. Once I get rid of the old Jedi Master.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted August 29, 2007 Share Posted August 29, 2007 Yay! You put Bane into the story! (Darth Bane is one of my most favourite Sith lords) Great story Topsite. I'm glad you decided to let Mace survive also. I was so disappointed when he didn't in the movie. You have really grown as a writer from your first fics. A really awesome job. Looking forward to more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 29, 2007 Author Share Posted August 29, 2007 Thanks for the comments Mr_BFA. Even though you haven't reminded me, I'll have to read the new version of The Second Coming of Evil. The reason I put Bane in the Fic was because I had read Path of Destruction book and I thought Bane would make a good guest in the Fic. In a way, I was sort of disappointed that Mace didn't survive and he will have a main part in the plot (well at least in this part). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted August 31, 2007 Author Share Posted August 31, 2007 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star Wars - A Dark Hope Chapter VI - The Grief of Padmé Amidala ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Darker, the coming storm grows. I fear the dark cloud of the Sith shrouds us all.” - Yoda, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Darkness was all she could see. Voices were all she could hear. It was uncomforting, for she didn’t know if she was dead or alive. She seemed so alive in her mind, yet her body wasn’t responding to anything. For someone who was strong, being heartbroken had weakened her and she was now alone in this state, whatever state it was. Padmé was afraid. Was she dead or alive? The voices she could hear were familiar indeed. She could hear her own voice, along with a young boy’s voice. It sounded like Anakin Skywalker, the little nine-year-old boy she had met a long time ago on Tatooine. Back when he was a slave boy, a talented podracer, with dreams of becoming a Jedi and successful pilot. There were other voices too. Anakin’s older selves also joined the voice of the young Anakin. The nineteen-year-old teenage troubled Anakin, who had became impatient of his training and his love for her had blossomed into something serious. Another voice joined the jumbled voices and it was Anakin again, but an angry, somewhat different Anakin from the young slave boy. Anger and hatred raged through him, as he burned with the dark side inside of his very soul. Padmé was beginning to get more comfortable. She was certainly alive. --------------- Padmé immediately awoke. Around her was a wall, plain white, with large windows, in which the sun shone brightly through. Rays of light blinded Padmé and she tried to block the light, but something was preventing her from doing so. She couldn’t move. Where was she? --------------- The time had come. Vader knew it would eventually. The day he would own the galaxy, ruling it, as everyone feared him. And that day had come. The End Note: Sorry, but I can’t be bothered to continue this Fan Fic. Sorry for the anti-climatic ending. Sorry for this Fan Fic. I’m afraid I just can’t be bothered with this anymore and I think I’m going to stick to short Fan Fics for Star Wars (well the Saga anyway). Thanks to all my readers and I’m sorry to disappoint you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Catto Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 Short, but very good. Not revealing too much, but just enough, if that makes sense. I liked it. Good job. And the same question is going through my mind. Where is she? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego Varen Posted September 1, 2007 Author Share Posted September 1, 2007 Thanks Mr_BFA, for I wasn't expecting a good review for this chapter. To be honest, I was rushing this chapter, but made it short, so I could improve my writing within in this chapter, if anyone can understand what I'm saying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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