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Rhett's Useless Info for Feb 2nd


Boba Rhett

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Zombies. The Resident Evil thread got me thinking. Wouldn't it be cool to have your very own zombie? They could wait on you, carry your things for you, drive you places, make you a sandwich, and I hear they fold up amazingly compactly, making them ideal for travel in your suitcase. I mean, sure, they'd require the occasional feeding of a small dog and perhaps a neighbor and I bet they have a problem with gnawing on their owners hands while they sleep but the benefits far outweigh all the negatives.

 

Once I had made up my mind that I wanted one, I got to thinking some more and allot of questions arose. How would I go about making a zombie for myself? Were would I get the parts? Could I afford buying that many small dogs and kittens?

 

I decided to deal with these problems as they presented themselves, so the first one I tackled was the creating of the zombie. Here are some instructions I found, at least according to Haitian beliefs, as to how one is made.

 

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1. The key ingredient in making your very own zombie is a powder, made by Haitian sorcerers, called "Bokor". It's ingredients include plants, sea worms, toads, lizards, fish and, of course, various chunks of a corpse.

 

2. This, "Bokor" is then spread on the floor of the person your planning on turning into a zombie.

 

3. Your victim then absorbs the powder through his feet and falls into a death like state.

 

4. Hopefully, the locals will think that the person has died and bury him.

 

5. This is were you dig him up and wait for the powder to kick in and reanimate them.

 

Bingo, bango, your very own zombie slave to command. :)

 

 

All kidding aside now, the powders did prove to have very interesting effects on people but, after further tests, the effects are credited to be caused by the neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin that comes from the puffer fish, that was part of the Bokor mixture. The neurotoxin would completely immobilized someone and render them unresponsive for around 24 hours, if it didn't kill them. So basically, all zombies are just drug trippin natives. :cool:

 

 

 

 

Can you believe I wrote that? :D

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Guest SlashAndBurn

Forget about the dogs and cats to feed the thing....WHAT ABOUT THE STENCH! Imagine the money you spend on keeping that thing smelling fresh...all the car air fresheners, deoderant an lysol! Its either that or the next time you have girl or guy over and they ask "Sweetie...whats that smell?" and you're forced to answer "Oh dont worry thats just my rotting undead servant...pay him no mind." See the problem here? :D

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