gorganfloss Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 This is yet another thread about jokes. Heres my favorite: Theres this burglar who just broke into someoneshouse. He looks around with his fashlight and sees a sterio. He walks over and starts undoing the wires. All of a sudden, he hears this voice saying, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he ducks behind a couch. A minute later he stands up and looks around with his flashlight. Satisfied that no ones there, he starts undoing the wires again. Again the voice says, "Jesus is watching you." And yet again he ducks down. He then stands up and looks around with the flashlight, this time seeing a parrot in a cage. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Was that you?" The bird replies, "Jesus is watching you." So then the burglar asks, "Are you Jesus?" THe bird says, "No. Im Moses." The burglar then says, "What kind of stupid people would name their parrot Moses?!" The bird says, "The same ones who named their rottweiler Jesus." The End Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 That cheered me up thank you Edit: am I The only one whos going to post in your thread like last time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorganfloss Posted September 12, 2002 Author Share Posted September 12, 2002 Am I really SO boring that $am is the only one who tolerates me??????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockV1.89 Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Heh, that was funny. It got pushed down before so I didnt see it. Here's one I got from an Eddie Murphy skit. Mildly vulgar (not really) so I'm gonna put it in a spoiler box. A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. Suddenly, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems with **** sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No." So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 I would think so *stops and thinks* hey wait a minute. Edit this is the only thread thats not full of **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Originally posted by ShockV1.89 Heh, that was funny. It got pushed down before so I didnt see it. Here's one I got from an Eddie Murphy skit. Mildly vulgar (not really) so I'm gonna put it in a spoiler box. A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. Suddenly, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "Excuse me, do you have problems with **** sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "No." So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit. Ive heard that one still funny though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorganfloss Posted September 12, 2002 Author Share Posted September 12, 2002 Originally posted by $am Edit this is the only thread thats not full of **** Not after Shock's joke about animals taking a sh!t though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 He posted that then a second later I posted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockV1.89 Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Bah. I posted before you did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Thats what I said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Wtf I had 499 posts a minute ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockV1.89 Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 I know, I'm just proving my idiocy by posting something without completely reading what I was posting about. Dont mind me, I'll go chew on a squeaky toy now. >squeak squeak< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HellFyre69 Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Here's a good joke There is a 8 month pregnant woman who gets into a car accident, which leads to a coma. 1 year later she wakes up, and wonders what happen to her baby. The doctor stomrs in to see the miracle, and asks her if she's ok. She responds she is, and asks the doctor what happened to her baby. The doctor responds that she had twins! a boy and a girl.Then she's like "WOW!" and then shey says "what should I named them". The doctor says that her brother already took care of it. The woman was kind a worry, since his brother was retarded. The doctor says "He named the girl Denise (the female name for denis)" The woman says "wow that is a beatifull name! wut did he named my son!?" THe doctor says "The Nephew". lol for those who doesnt get it SPOILERS For the JOKE (read if u didnt get the joke)0 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Denise=The niece The nephew= The nephew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 Good job for trying to break up the sadness. We could all use a little bit of cheer. Your effort is commendable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 12, 2002 Share Posted September 12, 2002 wered that docter get his degree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorganfloss Posted September 12, 2002 Author Share Posted September 12, 2002 Boffo's clown school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Talliusc Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 i read a while ago about a 77 year old man that was sent into space. nasa apparently wanted to test the effects of outerspace on the elderly. my question is WHY? are we planning on sending the elderly into space in the near future? is florida full? heheh, sorry floridians but it had to be said! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 Originally posted by Darth Talliusc i read a while ago about a 77 year old man that was sent into space. nasa apparently wanted to test the effects of outerspace on the elderly. my question is WHY? are we planning on sending the elderly into space in the near future? is florida full? The nursing homes of the future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gorganfloss Posted September 13, 2002 Author Share Posted September 13, 2002 Theyre seeing if they can send the origional cast of Star Trek up there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Groovy Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 The funniest thing I've seen all day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfmanNCSU Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 Originally posted by gorganfloss "What kind of stupid people would name their parrot Moses?!" The bird says, "The same ones who named their rottweiler Jesus." Good joke. I have heard it once before. I named my parrot Caesar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstar__2 Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 Originally posted by Darth Groovy The funniest thing I've seen all day! i just love that site! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acdcfanbill Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 excellent groovy, i laught all ten times i watched it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agen Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 Yay! star wars spoofs! Hehe they're hilarious. Especially Bespin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamiclone Posted September 13, 2002 Share Posted September 13, 2002 Here is one i heard at school today. No LISTEN YOU PEOPLE DONT SAY I AM RACSIST OR ANYTHING!! I HEARD IT AND IT IS A JEW JOKE! I LIKE THEM SO DONT REPLY SAYING THAT I AM UNKIND OR ANYTHING!! here it is Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza doesnt scream in the oven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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