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The USA is soooooooo messed up!


Luc Solar

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Jah Warrior complained about the swamp getting a bit "funky".

Maybe this thread will get things "going" for ya. :)

 

A while ago I started a thread called "English is sooo messed up". I'd like to combine that with this one, and thus create the Ultimate Provocation by criticizing not only the language used by 90% of you guys but also the whole basis of your society.

 

Sounds great, yes? :D

 

(Those who woke up this morning without their sense of humour are advised to stop reading this thread now.)

 

BUT - a monolog is rarely entertaining. And my arguments cannot ever be successfully contradicted anyways, so for the sake of keeping things interesting and getting you all to participate, I propose this:

 

Let's gather a little databank of things that show just how messed up the USA really is. :D

 

I'll start with the most obvious:

 

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1) The USA is run by George W. Bush. 'nuff said. :p

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2) Getting some coffee spilled on you:

 

a) the rest of the world:

 

Waitress: "Oops, sorry, heres a towel."

 

Customer: "Oh crap.. be a little more careful with that, will you. Thanks for the towel.

 

b) USA

 

Customer: "Oh My God! I'm so going to sue Ur ass! You are so dead! Wait 'till my lawyer gets his hands on you!! Mwahahahaha!"

 

Judge: "Corporations can not assume that they can spill coffee on innocent American consumers when ever they feel like it.

I order the defendant to pay the victim of this hideous crime 2.000 $ to compensate for the stain of her clothes, 500 $ to compensate for the laundry bill, 12.000 $ for the emotional distress caused and 1.750.000 $ in punitive damages.

 

Customer: "Sweeeeeeeeeet....."

 

Lawyer: "Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet..."

 

Corporation: "Oh well...this is America... thank god we've only had 3 of these cases this month."

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

(No, Fatal, you don't have to number every point if you don't want to. Your's is a free country after all.. ;) )

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I don't care even if this was directed for Sweden or America or Swaziland, any citizen wouldn't exactly like this (even though the point of this thread is quite hidden to me.) I can see how alot of americans will become offended (especially) since you guys have such big egos comparative to a number of other countries especially Europe. ;) However I'm not trying to say anything so I'll end with a good ol'

 

HEH

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Ahem... I acknowledge the fact that this thread might be a tad provokative. It was not entirely unintentional. :rolleyes:

 

and thus create the Ultimate Provocation by criticizing not only the language used by 90% of you guys but also the whole basis of your society.

 

The point of this thread?

 

Jah Warrior complained about the swamp getting a bit "funky". Maybe this thread will get things going for ya.

 

and

 

Let's gather a little databank of things..

 

Btw - since when should there be a point in Swampy-threads? :D

 

(I do agree that some issues should be left alone. I don't consider "The enormous egos of Americans", that AB_Legion mentioned, one of them, though. Let's keep things remotely civil, yet somewhat exaggerated. That means no "nine-elevens" etc.)

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u are just refering to stuff that is "stereotypical" - just because some woman sued over cofee being spilt on her doesn't mean all americans sue. That is such a generalization. Stop making these threads about stuff being "sooooo messed up" I don't come here to watch people bag on my country and language.

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Originally posted by STTCT

u are just refering to stuff that is "stereotypical" - just because some woman sued over cofee being spilt on her doesn't mean all americans sue. That is such a generalization. Stop making these threads about stuff being "sooooo messed up" I don't come here to watch people bag on my country and language.

 

You missed this one didn't you:

 

(Those who woke up this morning without their sense of humour are advised to stop reading this thread now.)

 

I do not think I'm the first one to make fun of the US. I'm pretty sure at least Conan O'Brien did that once too. :rolleyes:

 

Maybe it's because I'm foreign. :crybaby:

Is this like when cool AfricanAmericanPeople call each others "Nigga" or "Brother" (or whatever) but when a white guy comes along and says it, he gets his butt kicked? :confused:

 

Oh well...I'm not holding a gun on your head, forcing you to read this thread.

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huh now we are into the subject of "ebonics"!!! ahhhh

 

me without a sence of humor...kiss my hampster dancing ass.

 

JUST KIDDING

 

However - I don't see the humour in saying why someones country, language (ebonics or english) is ****ed up. It sucks. Its mean. And no - nobody is holding a gun to my head making me read this. But when someone posts something that I take offence to I'm apt to respond with my dancing hampster avatar and my

 

 

:mrt:

 

mr. t smiley

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Originally posted by STTCT

It sucks. Its mean.

 

I plead Not Guilty!

This unfortunate misunderstanding is caused solely by the differences of the communicational traditions of our countries.

 

Furthermore, I'm deeply offended by these allegations and demand the claimant to pay me 4.000 $ in order to restore balance to my fragile psyche. :joy:

 

Uh...I need coffee. :(

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This is what this thread was meant to be about:

 

Collecting wierd facts about the US.

 

For example: People in the US tend to sue each other for rediculous sums of money, not to mention over tiny mistakes.

 

Here's another: In the US, it caused a greater uproar that Clinton got caught with his pants down, than Georgie Jn. got elected president with an IQ of 90.....

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Hmmm... What do you mean? I can't sue even if I get a slimy American lawyer? Nooo.. That can't be...they...they said I have a solid case... all they needed was my credit card number.. :confused:

 

Btw - I remember reading a statistic that showed that only in 0.03 % ( or was it 0.3% ... or 3%?) of the all the cases where claims for damages were made, something was actually awarded. It's true! :eek:

 

If I were a judge (a US one, I mean) I'd slap the claimant with a nice little "Here's a fine of 2.000 $, thanks for wasting my time with idiotic claims."

 

No matter what happens, every case contains a claim for damages.

 

My point? I dunno..

 

Now...In MY COUNTRY (lol) a guy was almost burned to death by some punks playing with gasoline. They wanted to see what a burned boy looks like, you see.

Somehow he managed to survive but ended up with horrible burns, making Niki Lauda look like a barbie doll. He got awarded damages a total of 12.000 $!

Very cool. Never mind the horrible pain etc. he'd have to put up with the rest of his life... with that kind of money, he could go and buy himself a used car!! Yay!

 

...my point? Uhm...I forgot. :p

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*gasp*

 

Bush has an IQ of 90? Seriously?

 

...he must have cheated! :D

 

Okay, I won't flood this thread with weird laws, but I'll give you an example:

 

By Ohio law it is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday or to get a fish drunk.

 

...fish...for....whales....in OHIO? ....seriously? :D

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thanks for editing the topic title :)

 

 

I think that a really dumb thing in america is the MEDIA! For example...the Sniper case, OJ etc. But then again...Media everywhere has gotten kinda outrageious I mean look what happened to Princess Diana etc. Oh well...the sniper thing pisses me off though. 9/11 pissed me off too after awhile.

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Taxes in this country suck

 

I give up 1/3 my hard earned money to the government to support illegal immigrants and people who probably don't deserve to be on welfare. I also pay taxes to support those who are "disabled" and unable to work. I really don't mind helping those who are really in need and disabled...but I work in a warehouse and the epidemic that goes around here is "straining your back" and then they go off on disability and we can't replace them or fire them and we still have to pay them :(

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Originally posted by GonkH8er

see but people still respect clinton far more than bush jr... or at least they should.

 

 

clinton is by far the best president you guys have ever had, from a foreigners perspective. he was level headed and intelligent, and a good sax player :D

 

you are so right, if you have clinton next to bush, and ask some world wierd person who could be a president, he would say clinton, and my god would he laugh his ass off if some1 said the bush was a president:D

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