Tyrion Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Since I posted this at Swmap Fiction,I liked it. But I think it needed a thread of it's own. So, I will make a story every once in a while. You cannot post a story about it unless I ask you. Ok? --------------------------------------- LORD OF THE PINGS *very long* A scene from Lord of the Pings. *At Tyrion's home* Tyrion: ahahaha! another troll at the forums *knock* Tyrion:Who the hell...? *door opens, Obi the Grey comes in* Obi: Hello Tyrion Baggins! Tyrion: Yeah yeah, did you bring the vodka? Obi: Why,of course. *drinks merrily* Tyrion:whahahhaha have ya herd of da tale of the one ping? Obi:Dont j00 mean the One Ring? Tyrion: naw, the one ping! Obi: Tell me the stroy then,wah-ha-ha-... Tyrion: well,there was this big bad troll,called Jedi2k2 Obi:Dont j00 mean Sauron Tyrion: Well that was his name by day Obi: What was his name by night? Tyrion: Jedi2k2 Obi: He has the same night name as the troll???? Tyrion: ..... Tyrion: Anyhow...Jedi2k2 used to be a big bad troll. He gathered small trolls and big trolls with his army.He then made a Spam War against Lucasforums. He waged war and was really tough. But,the last alliance(and I mean last alliance, since they all are trying to invade each other now) of Swampies, Rouges, and Monkey Islanders, among with other boards, waged war against him. They battle him, fought many of his reincarnations, and whacked his spam trolls many,many,many,many,many times. Well,to get to the point, we fought him at the battle of Mount Spam. He carried the one Ping, which enabled him to spam greatly,change carnations, and even make the ping of Lucasforum higher. Obi: Wait a sec,wouldnt I know this story already? Tyrion: I am telling it to that guy over there, Tie Fighter. *Tie fighter jumps out of bush,then gets lassoed by Obi* Obi: please continue! Tyrion: Anyhow, since we cornered him at mount ping,we had a great last battle. Everyone from the Lucasforum militia was there.Me,you,spy,rhett,matt,darky,ect. were there fighting him. We tried using banning swords and flaming,but as of course it onlu made him grow bigger. So,I was lucky and sliced off the The One Ping with my Spam Sword +5. I took it, while Matt and Rhett stabbed his heart.He was defeated. Obi and Tie Fighter: YAY! Tyrion: So,here we are, I still have the One Ping.It would be nice to have someone tell me were to destroy it*coughDARKY!cough* *Darky comes in* Darky:You hafta take it to mount spam and destroy it in the cracks of spam. Only then will the spam king be dead because his follower Max Payne is comin! Tyrion: Ok,sure. Darky: Ok, meet at the Council of Lucasforums by next week. Tyrion: Ok. Tyrion: As for you Tie Fighter,you shall take care of my house. Tie Fighter: *smells the oven burning* Oh my!! Tyrion: Well obi,we should go to Reb's house and ask him to help us!And Tie Fighter, make sure this house burns down or else... Obi: ok! *At rebs house* Reb: So you want me to come with you guys to destroy the one ping? Tyrion: Pretty much. Reb: Sure, but how do we get there? Obi: My skiff is affected heavily by the One Ping, it'll take us a year to get out of the Swamp. Tyrion: Mine wont let me take anyone else in it. Reb: What are you looking at me for? Fine..I'll take you guys.. *They pass by Rouge Nine's house* Rouge Nine: You bastards! You killed my Aresen flower! Tyrion: Do you still have AB in his Aresen Cage? Rouge Nine: Yeah... *fobiddin noises heard inside house* Redwing: Oh my Rouge Nine! You devil! *Tyrion,Obi,and Reb start to get sick* Rouge Nine: Well here's your Ab in a cage. Ab: wahahahah SHOWCASE wahahaha! *They go onto Lucasville* Aristole: This is the council of Lucasville. Rhett: The ring must be destroyed! Obi: Hey thats my line! *Rhett sticks tounge out at Obi, Obi turns the tounge into a frog* Aristole: Well,we should send only a few out for this. Tyrion: I shall take the ping,although I do not know the way. Obi: You have my staff! Darky: You have my sword! LeXX: You have my bow! Rhett: You have my stick! Spy: You have my Spiked Board of Doom! Darth Groovy: You have my Rubber Chicken! Jedi220: You have my axe! Ab: You have my CAGE! Aristole: Then it is decided, you and the rest shall become... *drum roll* The Fellowship of the Ping! Obi: Wahahaha, Tyrion as the pingbearer? hah. Tyrion: You suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Truthful Liar Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Perhaps you should explain the cast and roles at the top of the page. Very amusing, however who am I? [Edit: You have my cage, LOL! ] [Double Edit: I suggest that Aresen be the land of mordor, or perhaps the XWA forums. ] [Triple Edit: Hey where's Rhett?!] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 ROFL! very funny... i do feel left out though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Truthful Liar Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 ZDawg can be some obscure and unknown orc that gets killed with the masses. Feel left out anylonger? ; ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted November 7, 2002 Author Share Posted November 7, 2002 *Later on,in the snowy mountains* Tyrion: Hey LeXX... LeXX: I know 7 ways to kill you with my arrow. Without my bow. Tyrion: Damnit.... Obi: Well, we should be reaching the land of Aresen soon... Darky: Hey wait,what the hell is THAT? *Swamp gas floats by* Tyrion: Well, I think that means we should be in Aresen..now.. *passes "You're in Aresen" sign* Tyrion: I hate snow. I hate heights. Goddamnit, why did I voulenteer? Obi: Because you suck Tyrion: *Unsheaths half of sword,almost as if he is restraining himself from unsheathing it* Stabbing..want...growing... *At the temple of Mordor* Rhett: *gril shriek* AHHHHH look at that! A big tentacle! Tyrion: Hmm..I say we RUN! *runs* ZDawg: We're doomed.. Tyrion: Who are you? How the hell did you get here? ZDawg: I lived as a hobo here. Goblins are good...goblins are good... Jedi220: HAWK! There are goblins in these mines? ZDawg: Maybe...if you give me a 20 it might clear my mind up... Tyrion: Just suddup and tell us wether or not. ZDawg: Yes and no. There are only Aresen Pingers here. Tyrion: Then why did you say Goblins were here? ZDawg: Ooooh look a butterfly! Tyrion: I dont know why I shouldnt just chain ya up. ZDawg: becuase I'd pest you in LF. Tyrion: ...... Tyrion: Well,we should go out and find out who's here. Rhett..let's go that way! Obi: No that way! LeXX: Matrix... AB: Hey Z, theres something I want to show you behind that Collum.... ZDawg: Did you say gollum Ab: No collum,besides you are gollum ZDawg: No,if I was Gollum I would have to be stealing the ring. AB: Maybe you are trying to steal it now? ZDawg: FALSE ACCUSATIONS! *coughthoughtruetheymaybecough* Ab: look! he said something under is breath! Zdawg: Do you have any proof of that? Ab: no... Tyrion: Hey um....we are going that way. Ab: Why did you change the subject? Tyrion: uh..the subject is DESTROYING THE PING! Not your silly little games. AB: Well we have a bad script anyway Tyrion: Well we have a bad budget. AB: What is our budget? Tyrion: -20:00. AB: Ouch. Tyrion: Well,let's get going. *goes on* Rhett: AHH look at that!He's a relative of mine! *points at a dead body in a pink dress* Tyrion: It would explain..alot.. Rhett:....*cries* Tyrion: Well how is he related to you? Rhett: He's my dad's only son's mother's sister's brother's father's uncle's son's nephew. Tyrion: Ahh the hillybillies of Iowa... Rhett: Hey look at his book! Tyrion: Hey it shows that deep dark secret of yours when you burried that guy in the sand dune in the golf course. Rhett: How did you find that? Tyrion: Oh I saw it while on a visit to GB. Rhett: Well let's go to that bridge. Obi: That one where if something big would to cross it, and if oh say a wizard would try to block it, he and the so-called beast would fall down. Rhett: Correct. Obi: Oh well... Spy: What the hell? *big ping breast comes out* Spy: Dont you mean big ping beast? Narroator: No...ahahhahahaha Spy: Oh well... Big ping breast: Fi fy fo fum anyone want ta climb da mountain? Obi: Sure! *obi remembers there are children reading this* Obi: You shall not pass! *bridges falls* *Big ping breast and obi fall down into darkness* Reb: Nooooooooooooo! *back at the top of the mountain* Darth Groovy: Finally! He's gone finally! Tyrion: wooohoooo! *Everyone dances* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Truthful Liar Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Darth Groovy: Finally! He's gone finally! Tyrion: wooohoooo! *Everyone dances* LOL! I really needed a good laugh this morning, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 ROFL! i'm a freak! i love it... *claps for Tyrion* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SettingShadow Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 I love this. Here take some of my Bouncers as a gift for cheering me up while Im ill. *hands over to Tyrion* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Those little guys remind me of Legion... *Notices stares* *Runs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarlacc Food Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 LOL! making more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomHelix Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 HEY HOW COME IM NOT IN IT? im just jokin wit ya. thats really funny. who was jedi2k2 anyway? i dont think i was here yet, and if i was, i wasn't in the swamp yet. plz add me in another part of the story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hekx Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Very nice Write the whole story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 (obi on his way down, fighting the breast) obi: take that, you devil! *obi shoots breats with lightening* Breast: now that wasn't funny. *obi and the breast fall deep, untill they smack the bottom* *they continue to fight, as a mysterious, dark figure approaches them. The man de-hoods himself to reveal a cigar and a big grin* acdcfanbill: What the sam hell are ya'll doin? Do you know what time it is? It's 3 in the morning! STFU ffs!!!!!!!!! obi: Go back to IRC. Bill: stfu u hoser *bill slaps obi with a large trout Bill: That'll teach you! obi: !UNF *breast watches all of this, and he collapses from the lack of sanity* obi: Well, that takes care of that. Bill: yea, now would it shut your pie-hole if I brought you bck to the surface with my magic carpet? obi: um.....I guess so...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted November 7, 2002 Author Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by obi-wan13 (obi on his way down, fighting the breast) obi: take that, you devil! *obi shoots breats with lightening* Breast: now that wasn't funny. *obi and the breast fall deep, untill they smack the bottom* *they continue to fight, as a mysterious, dark figure approaches them. The man de-hoods himself to reveal a cigar and a big grin* acdcfanbill: What the sam hell are ya'll doin? Do you know what time it is? It's 3 in the morning! STFU ffs!!!!!!!!! obi: Go back to IRC. Bill: stfu u hoser *bill slaps obi with a large trout Bill: That'll teach you! obi: !UNF *breast watches all of this, and he collapses from the lack of sanity* obi: Well, that takes care of that. Bill: yea, now would it shut your pie-hole if I brought you bck to the surface with my magic carpet? obi: um.....I guess so...... Erm obi... I said no adding to the story.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by Tyrion Erm obi... I said no adding to the story.. Well I wasn't going to let myself go down like that, because I know you are only oding fellowship of the ping and not two towers as well. but I'll delete if you ABSOLUTELY want me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted November 7, 2002 Author Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by obi-wan13 Well I wasn't going to let myself go down like that, because I know you are only oding fellowship of the ping and not two towers as well. but I'll delete if you ABSOLUTELY want me too. Well...um.... I guess...BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE THE STORY. NO ONE ELSE CAN UNLESS I ASK THEM TO. Besides,I am gonna postpone it after I am done with the FOTP until I can see the movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C'jais Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Clem is officially the "Lord of the ping" - anyone who have ever played him and his trusty 56k knows that I just found out today that my d/l speed is 1024 kbps instead of 256 as I foolishly believed until now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomHelix Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 yeah, but you gotta admit, its a good addition! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted November 7, 2002 Author Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by cjais Clem is officially the "Lord of the ping" - anyone who have ever played him and his trusty 56k knows that I just found out today that my d/l speed is 1024 kbps instead of 256 as I foolishly believed until now Yeah I got the insspiration for my title from him. (Hits the 90 second limit rule with Spam Sword +5) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Us 56kers have to stick together. It's a cruel world of Cable and DSL and Broadband out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyrion Posted November 7, 2002 Author Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by obi-wan13 Us 56kers have to stick together. It's a cruel world of Cable and DSL and Broadband out there. *hits obi with his spam sword +5* Muwahahah it's great! I can hit him 3 or 4 times before he can ban me! Stuuuupid 56k! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obi Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by Tyrion *hits obi with his spam sword +5* Muwahahah it's great! I can hit him 3 or 4 times before he can ban me! Stuuuupid 56k! However, I CAN still ban........... beh, I hope i upgrade soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pad Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 yea, i hope u upgrade soon pall. btw, ty, very nice story cough cough points himself cough cough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomHelix Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 umm...you guys? we are kidna getin off topic lets try to stay on, b4 they close this. so, ty, you got any more of the story to share? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wes Marrakesh Posted November 7, 2002 Share Posted November 7, 2002 Originally posted by Eek Kyth I love this. Here take some of my Bouncers as a gift for cheering me up while Im ill. *hands over to Tyrion* Yup, that was a good laugh for sick ones. Now, put me in somewhere! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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