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ondrahosek

By ondrahosek
in Yoda’s Swamp

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ondrahosek Newbie

ondrahosek

Posted
Posted

This is a Matrix spoof. Hope you will like it. It will grow and grow. Use the POST REPLY button for any comments.

 

////Cast\\\\

me - Neo

leXX - Trinity (I will eliminate all the kissing scenes)

Darky - Morpheus

Groovy - Dozer

cjais - Tank

Tyrion - The Oracle

Padanime - Agent Smith

ZDawg - Spoon Boy

gorganfloss - Cipher

JEDI_Anakin_S - Policeman

acdcfanbill - The Matrix

\\\\\\//////

//////\\\\\\

 

*Text appears in green monotype font:

 

Call trans opt: received. 2-19-98 13:24:18 REC:Bull's Pizzle>

Trace program: crashed because of Windows

 

Then numbers*

In meantime:

 

leXX: Is everything in place?

gorganfloss: You're not suppost to call me!

leXX: I know, but I felt like posting a poll.

gorganfloss: You like him, do you? You like spamming him.

leXX: Don't be ridiculous!

gorganfloss: We're gonna kill him.

leXX: Darky believes he is the Five.

gorganfloss: Do you?

leXX: It doesn't matter if I write WTF instead of FFA in the console.

gorganfloss: You don't, do you?

leXX: Did you hear that?

gorganfloss: No, I was just conferring with Rhett.

leXX: Are you sure there aren't any Padanime avatars used in this thread?

gorganfloss: Yeah, of course I'm sure...

leXX: I better go.

 

*JEDI_Anakin_S shows a sign to his fellow who kicks in the door where leXX is located in.*

JEDI_Anakin_S: Freeze! Police! Please! Wheeze! Hands on your a**! Do it, do it now!

*leXX ignorantly puts her hands on her head.*

JEDI_Anakin_S: I said a**!

*leXX flips out and with high speed she kicks JEDI_Anakin_S into his face*

*she runs away without the policemen noticing she was spamming*

 

*Padanime and her cronies come out of an old Škoda 120L*

Padanime: Mod!

Mod: Oh, s****...

Padanime: Mod, you were given specific orders.

Mod: Hey, I'm just doing my job. It's only one girl to ban from the LaFeTRIX.NET forums.

Padanime: The orders were for your protection. The girl might spam you with boring PMs.

Mod: I think I can add her to my ignore list... I sent two bye-bye-mails! They're banning her now.

Padanime: No, Mod, your mails are already in her Deleted Items folder.

 

*scene back at the room*

leXX: Sh**.

*she calls Darky*

leXX into phone: Hey Darky! How's life! I will need a new exit!

Darky: I know. They cut my hair. Here you go, an old phone booth, still painted British style, Wells and Lake.

leXX: Are there any of Padanime's pawns?

Darky: Yep.

leXX: They can go and GROPE MY A**!!!!!!!!!

Darky: Good leXX. Now find the exit. You can help yourself with the Log Out hyperlink.

 

*a run begins*

 

*leXX runs to phone booth, opens the door. The phone is already ringing. There is "LucasForums Mailer: You have received a Private Message by Darklighter." on the phone display. leXX pics up the phone.*

*meanwhile, Padanime starts a new thread with the name "Truck", and uses her Admin powers to delete the Phone thread previously created by acdcfanbill. leXX logs out seconds before they close it and gets away pretty quickly. Padanime gives up and waits until leXX logs on again.*

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ondrahosek Newbie

ondrahosek

Posted
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Posted

I just laughed at Tyrions Lord of the Pings and decided to use Matrix as my parody. I can be happy I have the DVD, so I am recreating the film in a very LF manner...

ondrahosek Newbie

ondrahosek

Posted
  • Author
Posted

*I am sitting behind my PC, searching with Google for some Darky. At once, the screen gets black, and green monotype text appears:

 

Wake up, ondrahosek...

The LaFeTRIX has you, ondrahosek.

 

I try the good ol' Ctrl+Alt+Del combination and the Windows Task Manager appears. But then, it closes and new text pops up on the screen:

 

Follow the :r2d2: smiley, ondrahosek...

Knock, knock, ondrahosek.

 

Trillian opens with a new message for me. It was my friend Wes Marrakesh. He requested some utilities to make smileys more interesting, or whatever. I send him the file. He replies with a short post. An :r2d2: smiley. I press the button "follow up message".

 

I come into a virtual room, so sure it was modelled by 3ds Max 4.0. I walk around, and then find leXX standing in the corner.*

 

leXX: Hello, ondrahosek.

me: How do you know that nickname?

leXX: I use Yahoo.

me: Who are you?

leXX: My nickname is leXX.

me: leXX. The leXX? That messed up the MSN server settings?

leXX: That was a long time ago.

me: Jesus...

leXX: What?

me: I just thought...you were a hermaphrodite.

leXX: Most guys do...

me: That was you hacking me. How did you do that?

leXX: Right now, all I can tell you, is that I have a very long user title. I brought you here to spam you.

me: What?

leXX: They're watching you, Neo.

me: A. My name is ondrahosek. B. Who is?

leXX: Please, just shut your mouth. I know why you're here, ondrahosek. I know what you have been doing.

me: Wa**ing myself to death?

leXX: I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone and why, night after night, you...

me: What, you little nosy leXXie?

leXX:...sit at your computer. You're looking for him. I know, because I really am very nosy, but I don't do that alone. And because I was looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he trained my as his Padawan. He also told me I was not looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that some people spam all day about. It's the question that drives us all, Neo.

me: For the last time, ONDRAHOSEK!

leXX: It's the question that brought you here. You know the question just as I did.

me: What the heck is wrong with acdcfanbill?

leXX: No, the other one.

me: What is the LaFeTRIX?

leXX: The answer is out there, ondrahosek. It is in some of the posts. Kill your day and browse through them, but only Darky knows where to find the answer.

*she retreats*

obi Newbie

obi

Posted
Posted

I don't get the fact that acdcfanbill is the matrix. The matrix is a smart, broad system.

 

 

Bill is just...........broad............

 

 

 

:p

MaulerZ Newbie

MaulerZ

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Leemu Taos

Hey that's great!!! :D

 

 

:rofl:

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....how come I'm not a part of the story???? :(

 

Dont feel bad I dont either :(

Taos Newbie

Taos

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by ondrahosek

OK, thinking...

You're gonna be... Mouse.

 

 

dude...........sweet!! :thumbsup:

 

 

just don't kill me off right away....

 

these are just great!!! :D

Tyrion Newbie

Tyrion

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by obi-wan13

I don't get the fact that acdcfanbill is the matrix. The matrix is a smart, broad system.

 

 

Bill is just...........broad............

 

 

 

:p

 

Damnit obi,do you have a death wish?

 

:D

ondrahosek Newbie

ondrahosek

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Well, I identified acdcfanbill as the Matrix, because of this:

 

The Matrix imprisons people, biting their energy and letting them live in a dream world with rules.

 

acdcfanbill imprisons threads, bans users and lets them live in a dream world with many rules.

 

Got it? If yes, I'm gonna del this thread or acdafanbill is gonna ban me...

obi Newbie

obi

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by ondrahosek

Well, I identified acdcfanbill as the Matrix, because of this:

 

The Matrix imprisons people, biting their energy and letting them live in a dream world with rules.

 

acdcfanbill imprisons threads, bans users and lets them live in a dream world with many rules.

 

 

I do that too, but I ain't the matrix :D

 

 

I was just tryin to find some way to make fun of Bill.

 

Thank you for giving me that opprotunity :D

ondrahosek Newbie

ondrahosek

Posted
  • Author
Posted

If anybody thinks they are somehow pushed back, there are many minor characters. Pick one, and I will adapt the story:

 

  • Apoc
  • Switch
  • Agent Brown

 

And very minor charaters like:

  • The old woman in the house morphing into an agent and throwing a knife at me
  • The guy screaming "that guy stole my phone!"

 

And sure many more... Pick one (it must be f/m the 1st film) and I will adapt the story!

obi Newbie

obi

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by AB_Legion

Who's Switch? I think I'll be Switch... I just want to be the bad guy who turns all his friends in. :cool:

um, thats Cypher, buddy. ;)

 

Switch is the chick that dies.

The Truthful Liar Newbie

The Truthful Liar

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by obi-wan13

um, thats Cypher, buddy. ;)

 

Switch is the chick that dies.

 

o.O

 

Now which one was that? How about a pic to refresh my memory, at what point during the movie does she die? It's been at least 2 years since I've seen the Matrix so I can't really remember things to well.

Taos Newbie

Taos

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by obi-wan13

Leemu, I will be expecting the woman in the red dress on a 3.5 floppy in the mail anyday now, ya dig?

 

 

 

I don't know if I can do it right away Obi, still having some floppy disk problems......O.o

 

 

 

If you'd like, in the meantime, I can set up a more "personalized" visit.........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:D:p

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