Kstar__2 Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 i was wondering about this: could it be possible to fall in love with someone, just by talking to them on the internet. would it be a non-realistic love, or could it be real. my point is: on internet, you don't judge by looks, race, age or what so ever, you only judge someone by caracter. so it could be a more pure love than IRL. only serious post on this subject please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 yeah its possible .... i know a couple that met over the net and then met in real life and got married and now have kid its also unlikely however Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstar__2 Posted December 7, 2002 Author Share Posted December 7, 2002 yeah i know, my niece also met a guy on the internet, and is now married with him. but my point is: could you fall (really) in love on the internet, or will you only really love someone after you've met him/her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 depends on yer definitions you can certainly start the ball rolling if nothing else distance can be a problem however Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C'jais Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 It's love no matter what. Heck, you could even fall in love with a Disney character (I had a friend that was, when he was young) - it's exactly the same feeling. Oh, you'd miss some of the aspects of physical love such as touching and seeing each other's facial expressions but it's really the same deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstar__2 Posted December 7, 2002 Author Share Posted December 7, 2002 i know that affection is a part of love, but don't you think that falling in love with a disney caracter (or something like that) is more affection than love? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C'jais Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 Originally posted by kstar__2 i know that affection is a part of love, but don't you think that falling in love with a disney caracter (or something like that) is more affection than love? Not really. Love is all chemicals in my eyes. You desire to be with the individual in order to reproduce (ahem...), but it's still the same feeling whether you're physically capable of it or not. How about the teenage girls that fall in love with boyband members? From what I've heard, it's not merely "affection", even though everyone can clearly see they've got no chance of meeting. Returning to the Disney example, the unfortunate person would ultimately probably dream of a way to realize the character - fulfilling the love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstar__2 Posted December 7, 2002 Author Share Posted December 7, 2002 you got a good point there cjais, but where going OT. another thing: could you fall in love easyer on the internet, because you are not limited by someones looks.(in IRL, you like someone because of his/her looks, and people only like a very limited kind of looks) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clem Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 personality counts irl just the first impression is looks .... and that makes a difference personality is also blunted over the net 6 of 1 half dozen of other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C'jais Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 Originally posted by kstar__2 another thing: could you fall in love easyer on the internet, because you are not limited by someones looks.(in IRL, you like someone because of his/her looks, and people only like a very limited kind of looks) Hmmmm.... If I were to be a bit snarky here, you could argue that people on the internet are as a group more desperate and since the selection is a heck of a lot smaller, it'd be easier for them to develop those feelings. It's easier because IRL, you "block out" most people - if you were to be stuck on an island with one man/woman don't you think you'd fall in love with that person at some point, hmm? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kstar__2 Posted December 7, 2002 Author Share Posted December 7, 2002 Originally posted by Cjais Hmmmm.... If I were to be a bit snarky here, you could argue that people on the internet are as a group more desperate and since the selection is a heck of a lot smaller, it'd be easier for them to develop those feelings. that's true. wow, this natural selection thing is really hard! but IRL, you block out alot of people because of there looks, but you don't do that on the internet. so, the change of falling in love is.......equal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C'jais Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 Originally posted by kstar__2 IRL, you block out alot of people because of there looks, but you don't do that on the internet. so, the change of falling in love is.......equal? I wouldn't say you block them out because of their looks. I think we lower our standards once the selection starts getting smaller. You can't run around being in love with every random girl on the street, no? It's not equal, unless you're behaving on the internet and mingling with as broad a selection as in "real" life. If, on the 'net, you spend a lot of time with like minded people who share the same interests etc, and you feel you have a bigger chance because you aren't judged by your (bad) looks, then yes - the chance is higher. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonces Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 My Brother met his wife over the internet. They started out in a message board quite like this one discussing law enforcement.(he's a cop, she's a paralegal) Over the next year they posted messages, and exchanged e-mails. Once they decided to meet the rest was history. Your most likely increaseing your chances over the net for a number of reasons. Looks obviously has an effect when you are meeting people for the first time in person so you're definatly filtering out people that way. Reality is that you never know who's sitting across the other side of the screen. My brother and step sister are both quite attractive people but they developed a mutual "affection" for each other before they even exchanged photos. It could have been different though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Talliusc Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 i think that love can be found anywhere. certainly over the internet... but not for me. i need to see her face when i crack a joke, and know what shes like when she's having a bad day and needs a shoulder to cry on. the internet just isnt real enough for my terms of love.... but then again i may never have experienced true love so anything i say is moot. MOOT I SAY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigTeddyPaul Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 Gather around everyone for BigTeddyPaul has a wonderfully great story to tell about this subject. About a year and a half ago there was this woman named Carol. Now Carol was a 49 year old unemployed for apporx 15 years, living at her mothers home forever excluding college, and who weighed about 420 lbs and was barely 5 foot with thick glasses etc etc etc. Now a year and a half ago Carol's old mother died at the age of 83. Since Carol has no family (1 Aunt in New York) she was left to fend for herself. She was living off her mother's social security check and now that her mother had died she had no income. So my mother, being the saint she is, decided to take in her friend for the six months escrow takes on her house (ended up being 11 months due to Carol's lack of enthusiasm). During the time she lived at our house she broke two couches BY SITTING ON THEM, 1 toilet seat, she burned our oven, broke three doors by placing her weight on them, smelled up the house because she took showers????? when I don't know, her cat pissed in her room which also made more of a smell, and she ate endlessly. Another annoying habbit was that she never left the house except to pick up fast food for herself and she was on the computer for an average of 11 hours a day (not joking). Now since Carol was on the internet sooooo long she made quite a few friends from sites such as Andromeda (loves Sorbo) and other programs. Now she met this one man from New York that once she got her money (a little over 100,000 dollars) she would go there and marry him. She was insanely in love with this man and wished nothing more than to marry him. About 3 months before she left he decided he did not want to marry her and by the end of that very same day another man from Florida started calling her. She then fell madly in love with him and wanted to marry him. She later married him about 2 months after she moved out of our house and is living happily there with him but not his son (a whole other story). Long winded as usual but I felt like that was the least amount I could say and still keep the whole thing informed. Morale of the story is that in her case she just wanted so much to have someone who cared for her that she could switch her emotions and feelings on and off people that she never even met so fast that it felt like love. I bet a lot of this also had to do with the money but we will never really know. BigTeddyPaul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewbacco Posted December 8, 2002 Share Posted December 8, 2002 You will never know who he or she really is till you see he or she. It is because if you are flirting with a suspected lover it could be a boy playing with ya and gigleing in front of the moniter every time you make sexy remarks.( this is only refering to writing only, there is no cameras conected to each computer so that you can see each other.) Lying is a big major part in chat, (that's what I think) Tie 23 was playing an online game with someone and he expirenced two people flirting together in chat mode. There were words like "Hold me!" The girl said. And there was a reply of *embraces her* Tie 23 gaged and quit. I have seen love on the internet but these two seen each other live before. But I say there is passion or unconditional love but no deep love. It isn't possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunatic Jedi Posted December 8, 2002 Share Posted December 8, 2002 Of course, its also easier to lie on the internet. Someone could disguise themselves as a genuinely nice person, then when they meet you in person, they'd kill you or something. I think that happened a couple months ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darklighter Posted December 8, 2002 Share Posted December 8, 2002 I totally agree that you can fall in love on the internet. Mainly because I've had first hand experience. There was this girl I met while playing Elite Force once, on a server in Multiplayer. We met and started exchanging tips and tricks about the game. After that, we started talking on MSN a lot. I used to stay up til 5, nearly 6am during the Summer just talking to her. She lived in Canada, was 22. Pretty distant considering I live in England, was 16 lol. We both were completely honest with each other though (well I was...it seemed she was too). We exchanged pictures of ourselves, talked about seeing each other, I even called her a few times. This went on for about 2 months. I actually thought I had fallen in love, she was the most amazing girl ever; out-going, talkative, caring, sensitive, funny, beautiful (from what I saw from her pictures). But one day, I just realised that I was getting into something that maybe wouldn't turn out how I'd hoped. We both agreed, and said that we should think more realistically when it comes to relationships. Not to plant our hopes on one another. So we ended it. We're still the best of friends, I can safely say that she is probably the best friend I have ever had. I vowed that I would never get into an online relationship again, simply because you build your hopes up about a person who may turn out very different than they may seem. If not that, then you commit yourself to them, and miss the other opportunites life may throw you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormHammer Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 Originally posted by Darklighter I vowed that I would never get into an online relationship again, simply because you build your hopes up about a person who may turn out very different than they may seem. If not that, then you commit yourself to them, and miss the other opportunites life may throw you. But this is true of real life as well. You meet someone, like them, go out with them...maybe date them for months or years. Then you move into a place and live together and start to really learn each other's foibles. If you can't stand the way the other person lives...then what appeared to be a great relationship at the outset could turn into a nightmare. Some people are willing to change and adapt...others are not. I think that no matter who you meet, there has to be a certain level of tolerance involved, unless you are a perfect match (a concept that I do not think exists in reality). To complicate matters, people are always developing, evolving...so the person you met and married could become someone entirely different 10 years down the line. So I say if you find someone (IRL or over the Internet) and think you'll get on well together, go for it. You may not find someone of that calibre again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZePhyR Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 I suppose it is possible to find that special someone over the internet, but I know I'm not looking to find love over the net. Ya, you judge people by personality instead of looks and characteristics, but I think the latter 2 are important in a relationship. Over the net, you're also able to hide these things from the other person, and who's to say that they will feel the same about you once you get together? Hmm, difficult topic to discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wes Marrakesh Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 Eh. I dunno, I've got my hands full in school so I can;t give a first person account I can give a third person though. On the SWG-hosted PR forums (http://starwarsgalaxies.station.sony.com/starwars_role_boards.html) there are maybe two or three couples who met over those boards. I believe they are all happily married. Just goes to show it can happen... I just wouldn't place all my emphasis on virtual love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockV1.89 Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 I have some small degree of experience in this subject. The two relationships I had that started on the net ended very badly. Basically, we talked like crazy on AOL, then when we finally met, it turned out we really couldnt stand each other. I dated one for about 3 weeks, the other about 2 months. The big thing was that all the things that I couldnt stand about them were things I would have noticed right away if we had met in person to begin with. I dont do the net-love anymore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-s/<itzo- Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 how could you fall in love to whom you never met. thats just non sense. i mean he or she might be lying about theirselves from the internet. to fall in love with someone you have to know them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darklighter Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 Not necessarily. Then again, if you think like that, what you really have to question is what love is itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPY_jmr1 Posted December 9, 2002 Share Posted December 9, 2002 interesting post.... I was gonna make a new thread, but I think i'll take the time to replay to this one instead. (gonna shoot from the hip here, might sound rambling a but... sry) "love on the internet"..... the first thing out of my mind is "define it". meaning, what do you mean by "love"... this is not your fault, this is english failing us again by having so many ways for a word to be used. after reading the thread, I can tell which kind you mean, so problem one is gone. that being said, I would have to respond "yes, but to what ends?", that is to say, its entirely possable, but 'after the dog gets the mailman, whats he do with it?' this next part is hard to put into words, but I am trying.... you should be able to develope a relashionship(note wording, more precice IMHO) over the internet, and as someone said, its easier on the internet... why? its simple. here, you're forced to talk to the other party, if you dont the whole concept will fail... conversely, in a bar(for example) you have the option of runing to the john if all else fails(not to mention the physical factor... you know what I mean) if you think about it, on the internet(any form, ingame, forum, IRC, MSN, AIM, ICQ, you name it) the biological factor is almost(99%) removed from the situation... if you need examples, lemme know. myself, I have not got caught up in this concept we are talking over now, BUT, I have (strange as it seams to me, but thats another thread...) made many close friends on IRC(visit #jediknight irc.gamesnet.net) that being said, the reason I have not become intangled in this topic firsthand, the only women in there are attached to the ops... and if you wish a long stay, you let them be;)*hint*hint* but if there were avalable people of the female population in there.... well, I'd be in some deep ****, lets just say, I need less free time like a whole in the head.... but that's me, and geting off track... where the hell was I heading....oh yeah, thats right....like I said, the idea is sound, but the odds are INSANE of a long term pairing working out... but the odds of a friendship are much better then this I think.... more often then not I would think.... in closing, if you have ever had sucsess with 'quote' love on the internet 'unquote' big fat mucho KUDOS to you and a PM send me you will, with detailed instrutions or get mad at you I will;) I am just glad I have friends so far:) p.s. I told you it was long mel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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