The AOLizer....

[Clefo]

Here

 

For my experiment I took the immortal "To Be." monologue from Hamlet

 

OriginalTo be, or not to be: that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks

That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life;

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,

The insolence of office and the spurns

That patient merit of the unworthy takes,

When he himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscover'd country from whose bourn

No traveller returns, puzzles the will

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprises of great pith and moment

With this regard their currents turn awry,

And lose the name of action.-Soft you now!

The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remember'd.

 

And run it thriough this thing...

 

2 B OR NOT 2 B TAHT IS TEH QUASTION

WHETH3R TIS NOBLER IN DA MIND 2 DA SLNGS AND AROWS OF OUTRAEGOUS FORTUNE

OR 2 TAEK ARMS AGANEST A SEA OF TROUBL3S

AND BY OPOSNG 3ND THAM?!!!! OMG WTF 2 DEI 2 SLEP

NO MORA AND BY A SLEP 2 SAY WA DA H3ART-ACHA AND TEH THOUSAND NATURAL SHOKS

TAHT FLASH IS HAIR 2 TIS A CONSUMATION

D3VOUTLY 2 B WISHD!!1! OMG WTF LOL 2 DEI 2 SLEP

2 SLEP PARCHANCA 2 DR3M AY THEIR DA RUB

FOR IN TAHT SLEP OF D3ATH WUT DREMS MAY COMA

WHEN WA HAEV SHUFL3D OF THIS MORTAL COIL

MUST GIEV US PAUSE THEYRE TEH RASP3CT

TAHT MAEKS CALMITY OF SO LONG LIEF

FOR WHO WUD BAR DA WHIPS AND SCORNS OF TEH OPRESORS WRONG TEH PROUD MANS TEH PANGS OF DESPIESD LOVE DA LAWS DA INSOL3NCA OF OFIEC AND TEH SPURNS

TAHT PATEINT MARIT OF TEH UNWORTHY TAEKS

WHEN HA HIMSALF MIGHT HIS QUEITUS WIT A R BODKIN???!? WTF LOL WHO WUD FARD3LS BAR

2 GRUNT AND SWAAT UNDAR A WEARY LIEF

BUT TAHT DA DR3AD OF SOM3THNG AFT3R TEH UNDISCOVERD COUNTRY FROM WHOSA BOURN

NO TRAEVLAR R3TURNS PUZLAS TEH WIL

AND MAEKS US RATHER BAR THOSA ILS WA HAEV

THAN FLY 2 OTHERS TAHT W3 KNOW NOT OF

THUS????! OMG WTF CONSCEINCE DO3S MAEK COWARDS OF US AL

AND THUS TEH NATIEV HUA OF R3SOLUTION

IS SIKLEID OER WIT TEH PAEL CAST OF THOUGHT

AND ENT3RPRIESS OF GR3AT PITH AND WIT THIS R3GARD THERE CURENTS TURN AWRY

AND LOSE DA NME OF ACTION-SOFT!11!! U TEH1!!1!!!1 LOL FARE OPHALIA1!!1!1! NYMPH IN THY ORISONS

B AL MAH SINS REMEMBRD11!!1 OMG WTF

[Lord Fergie]

Here is what I put in

 

This is stupid. This machine was created by some one who can' spell and wants to share his curse with others.

 

This is what I got

 

You sir are an inncolent being. Do thee shalt ask for paper or plastic . I thank you for your time. Now leave

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actually it said

 

THIS IS STUPID1!1!1 OMG WTF THIS MACHIEN WAS CRAAETD BY SOM3 ONA WHO CAN SP3L AND WANTS 2 R HIS CURSE WIT OTH3RS!!11!1 OMG

[JEDI_MASTA]

why whould you want to do that???

[Artoo]

Hehe, this things pretty accurate. I tried several songs and they came out just as an AOLer would type them.

[Darth Homer]

OMG WTF LOL BBQ ASL?

 

anybody knows what the hell this means.......you get -20 cool points

[darthfergie]

I am now scarred for life...

 

(at least I know why Delphi couldn't spell)

[swphreak]

I typed in mother ****er and it said MOTH3R ***ER. That's pretty stupid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*cough* i use aol *cough*

But I don't talk like that crap, it did say 12 year old

 

 

It's also pretty stupid that you TOLD us that you put it in -darthfergie

[Darth Groovy]

I

 

 

W3 R TEH HOLOW M3N

WE R TEH STUFAD M3N

LEANNG 2G3THAR

H3ADPEIC3 FIL3D WIT STRAW!!11111! OMG ALAS

OUR!!11 OMG DREID VOIECS WHAN

WE WHISPER R QUEIT AND M3ANNGLES

AS WIND IN DRY GRAS

OR RATS FET OVER BROK3N GLAS

IN OUR DRY CELAR

 

 

SHAEP WITHOUT FORM SHAED WITHOUT COLOUR

PARALYSAD FORCE G3STURE WITHOUT MOTION

 

 

THOSE WHO HAEV WIT DIERCT AYES 2 DEATHS OTHER KNGDOM

REMEMBR US - IF AT AL - NOT AS LOST

VIOLENT SUS BUT ONLY

AS DA HOLOW TEH STUFED MEN

 

 

I

 

 

EYES!111 OMG I R NOT MET IN DR3MS

IN DEATHS DREM KNGDOM

TH3SE DO NOT THEYRE DA EYAS AER

SUNLIGHT ON A BROK3N THEYRE IS A TRE SWNGNG

AND VOIECS AER

IN TEH WINDS SNGNG

MORE DISTANT AND MORE SOL3MN

THAN A FADNG STAR

 

 

L3T1!!1 OMG WTF MA B NO NEAERR

IN D3ATHS DRAM KNGDOM

L3T MA ALSO WEAR

SUCH DALIEBRAET DISGUIESS

RATS COAT CROWSKIN CROSAD STAEVS

IN A FEILD

BHAVNG AS DA WIND BHAEVS

NO N3AERR -

 

 

NOT TAHT FINAL METNG

IN DA TWILIGHT KNGDOM

 

 

II

 

 

THIS IS TEH D3AD LAND

THIS IS CACTUS LAND

H3RE DA S2NA R RASEED HERE THEY TEH SUPLICATION OF A DEAD MANS HAND

UND3R DA TWINKLE OF A FADNG STAR

 

 

IS!1!!!11! OMG IT LIEK THIS

IN DEATHS OTH3R KNGDOM

WAKNG ALONE

AT DA HOUR WHAN WE AER

TRAMBLNG WIT TEND3RNES

LIPS TAHT WUD KIS

FORM PRAEYRS 2 BROK3N TEH!1!1! WTF LOL EY3S R NOT THEIR R NO AY3S HERA

IN THIS VALEY OF DYNG STARS

IN THIS HOLOW VAL3Y

THIS BROKEN JAW OF OUR LOST KNGDOMS

 

 

IN THIS LAST OF METNG PLAECS

WE GROPA 2G3THER

AND AVOID THEYRE ON THIS BACH OF TEH TUMID RIEVR

 

 

SIGHTL3S DA EY3S RAAPEAR

AS DA PERP3TUAL STAR

MULTIFOLIAET ROS3

OF DEATHS TWILIGHT TEH HOPE ONLY

OF 3MPTY MAN

 

 

V111!1! OMG WTF

 

 

HER3 W3 GO ROUND TEH PRIKLY P3AR

PRIKLY P3AR PRIKLY PEAR

HER3 WE GO ROUND TEH PRIKLY PAAR

AT FIEV OCLOK IN DA MORNNG

 

 

BTWEN1!11111! WTF LOL DA IEDA

AND DA RAALITY

BTWEN DA MOTION

AND DA ACT

FALS DA SHADOW

 

 

FOR THIEN IS TEH KNGDOM

 

 

BTWEN TEH CONCEPTION

AND DA CREATION

BTWEN DA EMOTION

AND TEH RESPONSA

FALS DA SHADOW

 

 

LIEF IS VERY LONG

 

 

BTWEN TEH DESIER

AND DA SPASM

BTWEN DA POTENCY

AND DA EXISTENC3

BTWEN DA ES3NC3

AND DA DESCANT

FALS TEH SHADOW

FOR THIEN IS DA KNGDOM

 

 

FOR THIEN IS

LIEF IS

FOR THIEN IS THE

 

 

THIS IS DA WAY TEH WORLD 3NDS

THIS IS TEH WAY DA WORLD ENDS

THIS IS TEH WAY TEH WORLD ENDS

NOT WIT A BANG BUT A WHIMPER!1!!1! WTF

[WolfmanNCSU]

Tha Shizzolator is much better...

 

http://www.asksnoop.com

[SE_Vader_536]

Aolizer: actually this translator is pretty acurate. notice the occurances of 1 when there is a ! and how the ! are changed to !!!!!!!!!!!!!. Also some words are misspelled. for example screwed would be scrawed. and the fact that if you have a pissed tone in the phrase sentence or paragraph it added a OMG WTF and LOL is a common 12-year-old immature little freaks way of AOL talking.

 

Shizzolator: what is that supposed to do i mean i typed in a url and it came up with a blanked up webpage.

[WolfmanNCSU]

Originally posted by SE_Vader_536

Shizzolator: what is that supposed to do i mean i typed in a url and it came up with a blanked up webpage.

 

It shizzlates all the text on a website so it would should like something snoop dogg would say....

 

Sometimes it goes down and it does take a while to load. Make sure you type the whole name of the url (including http:// and the www). Funny as hell.

[Hannibal]

That Snoop Dogg one had me crying.