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Funniest Quotes in the Series


Yufster

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STAN: It's the problem that's small...it's the vermon that's rather large.

 

OZZY: You've defouled my plattapus (sp?)

 

GUYBRUSH: You can captain my ship anytime.

 

And I can't remember, since it's been so long, with the three important looking pirates when they name off the three trials to Guybrush. Something along the lines of "Thievery, swashbuckling, and treasure huntery." Something along those lines.

 

The whole bit of Guybrush putting the dog in his pants in LCR.

 

HAGGIS: I searched the whole island, and couldn't find a single rock.

 

Blondebeard: EL POLLO DIABLO!!!!

 

I had this one written down so i could know the spelling...can't find it...

 

GUYBRUSH: Vangoderffossensen...Jephro Vangoderffossensen

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SoMI

 

-sinkin the ship with the catapult

-these notes on MI

-"look a threeheaded ape" - the cannibals wont look because it's an "old trick"- and then he steps in.

 

LCR

 

-that rat-soup thing on scabb.

-"people wont regognize a good game even if they paid 50 bucks for it.. "

 

CMI

 

-if you say "I am Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate" everytime you meet someone, Guybrush will finally say something like: "I am Guybrush Treepwood, mighty blahblah oh i just cant hear it anymore blahblah pirate"

 

EMI

 

-that timetravel-part in the swamps of lucre island.. very very exclusive..

-in the german version there is a joke on the iron maid: "Nimm eiserne Jungfrau" (in german maid is more mentioned to virgins) and Guybrush goes like "Richtig." .. it means something like "take/use iron maid" -> "alright"

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  • 2 weeks later...

In CMI, when you enter the barbery coast for the first time, you are greeted with "Welcome to the Barbery Coast ...where every haircut is an adventure" while Cutthroat Bill is washing a cloth with bloodstains on it.

hahaha that cracks me up

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Not all quotes are accurate...

 

CMI:

G: Do you know anything about lifting curses?

M: Oh right, I know a lot about lifting curses. That's why I'm a dis-embodied talking skull ... sitting here on a pike. .. in the middle of a swamp!

G: You seem bitter..

 

Guybrush on Big Whoop:

I can't remember much about it except I was expecting so much more and felt so let down..

 

G: He's crossing the road... TO FREEDOM!

 

G: Hey Murray, check this out!

M: Oh, ick! What have you done to my hand?

G: Rubbed paste all over it.

M: You're a sad, strange little man.

 

G: MOO. I am Mooseferatu, the demonic Jersey cow.

 

More to come.. I'm re-playing CMI. :)

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The classics were the little ones lying around MI1, when you delved deep into a conversation. Many of these (one of the funniest was) were like....

 

"I sence the guilt of stealing my chicken grows."

 

After done rolling on the floor, gasping for breath and wiping the tears from my eyes, I just realised that I can play a game where the quote "I sence the guilt of stealing my chicken grows" can be easily placed into a conversation, and still have the game be one of the best ever. What classics these games are....

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Somi:

 

Cannibals door-security thing.

 

LCR:

 

-Growing a mustashce?

 

G: No, even bigger than that...

 

- A beard!?

 

EFMI:

 

G: Wow, that's the second biggest...no...no That IS the biggest seashell i've ever seen!

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MI1

:guybrush: I want to be a fireman

 

:guybrush: You must have me confused with someone else, I'm not a diary farmer.

 

:toothrot: He was trying to put up a swing.

 

MI2

:guybrush: Didn't you used to be a used ship sales man?

:stan: Yes but I decided to get into a buisness where unsatisfied coustemers were less likely to come back and complain.

 

MI4

:guybrush: I uh would go back there but ah, I really don't want to! Yeeeah.

 

:guybrush: Gee there right gun owners are five times more likely to shoot themselves.

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MI1

Otis: The cook brings me food, mostly lips and trimmings but sometimes he brings me this really odd rump roast.

Guybrush: Whats so odd about the rump roast?

Otis: Its the only one I've seen with a prehensile tail.

 

MI2

Lechuck: I will then gather your bones alive and in great pain and make them into a chair. I will call it my screaming chair, every night I will sit in it and hear you scream.

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MI2: Guybrush, on digging up Marco Largo LaGrande: "This is creepy feelin'."

 

CMI:

 

Elaine: "I...I can't, I'm washing my hair tonight."

LeChuck: "Blast be yer hair, woman!"

 

Elaine: "Let's just face it, LeChuck. You're an evil, foul smelling, vile, codependent villain, and that's just not what I'm looking for in a romantic relationship right now."

 

LeChuck: "Now, with the flames of this voodoo cannonball, I'll blast my significant other into the significant otherworld! Bwahaha! That'll show her how much I care." (I'm surprised no one's mentioned this one yet...it's practically a classic!)

 

EMI: LeChuck: "Are you sure I can't kill him [Guybrush], Mr. Mandrill? I've left him alive before, and it's always turned out to be a big mistake."

 

Guybrush: "...It's like my life is just a never-ending series of...of puzzles!" (cue the violins...)

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  • 2 weeks later...

SMI : the ending with the instant replay part and lechuck exploding

the rubber tree

and the ending if you destroyed your ship ("you know, i can't shake the feeling guybrush was responsible for that big rock")

LCR: when you put the dog in your coat

when guybrush wants to take of his clothes in front of the guard

lechucks underpants

CMI: when guybrush tries to join the barbers (the songs)

the "a pirate i was meant to be" song

when you take the blood island map from the sunbathers back

EMI:lechucks slams the door shut. Guybrush - "o yeah? well you fight like a cow!"

when he gets in the lava boat "it's pink" "... and my shoes are slowly melting trough the fiberglass floor"

Otis in prison G- ".... deja vu" O - "want a breathmint" "nevermind"

when you notice carla and otis O- "CARLA HE'S COME TO TAKE US BACK TO MONKEY ISLAND" G- "you're carla and otis my original crew"O- "i have no idea we're you're talking about"

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's so hard 2 choose, there are SO many! Well....here's a few:

 

1. "I am rubber, you are glue" It's so pathetic it rules!

 

2. Voodoo lady:"I sense your name is Guybrush Nosehair....no, no, Threepwood"

Guybrush: "Lucky Guess, 1/2 the people I know are name guybrush"

 

3. The cannibals: "But think about what eating him will do to your cholestoral levels!"

 

4. "Look behind you, a three-headed monkey" *yoink* the yoink was added for effect....thought what guybrush is yoinking I don't know......

 

5. Guybrush: Will you scratch my nose?

Wally: Sure, after you've kissed my butt

 

6. Herman: So what has this taught you?

Guybrush: That philosophy is a waste of time?

Herman: Wow, it takes years for some people to get to thisb stage!

 

And so the list goes on..

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Theres loads of funny bits in the games. heres a few of my favourites.

 

1. When herman toothrot has a ship but never escaped monkey island because he wanted to be rescued.

 

2. When we find out his mate died while puting up a swing.

 

3. STAN: when hes trying to sell the ship to lechuck and lechuck punches him.

 

4. and when guybrush looks into the stump in the woods on the first one and it starts saying to put discs in you dont have. I remember when my younger cousin did it and thought he was hundereds of times better than me at the game because he thought he found somwhere new, and when it came up with that he started crying.LOL

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Here goes:

 

somi

- "is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see us?"

- "I could easily drop-kick you into the lava"

- "...fkygi, dmkly, uh...I really wish I knew how to talk to women"

- all of the dialog when Guybrush is talking to Herman.

- the note on Stan's office door after he sells you the boat.

- all the insult sword fighting dialog

 

lcr

- "Aieeeeee!!!...Somebody call a doctor!!!" (and the look on the pirates faces when they see his leg gone [much like the Edison's faces in futureDOTT])

- the card catalog in Phatt City Library

- the look on Guybrush's face just before he wedgie's LeChuck

- the cheauvanist dialog made by patrons at the Governor's Mardi Gras

 

CoMI

- all the dialog in the Intro up to the point where Guybrush is standing on the beach next to gold Elaine.

- "Alright, it was a bunch of those wierd voodoo kids. They put me up here thinking all the time that they were so funny"

- insult sword fighting (especially the Rottingham quotes)

- "Actually, it's a highly sophisticated beard weave. Made from the chest and back hair of real pirates"

- Mr. Fossey's dialog when he's speaking to LeChimp

- The snake swallowing scene

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(All the games) Everything Stan says is classic.

 

In MI1 before you beat leChuck at the end 'I can't believe your alacrity' 'Well I can't believe your enormity!', and the instant replay part, that was so funny.

 

Murray in CMI is hilarious,

'Matre de dias! es el pollo diablo!',

'I choose the banjo' ' I accept' 'You..you do?'

The whole pirate song before the swordfighting section is brilliant.

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