EvilleApplePie Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 Idiot's safety tip #12 When burning a fire in your *gas* fireplace be sure the flue (probably spelled wrong) is open so the fumes can escape and you can avoid being knocked out and or having your house explode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 1, 2003 Author Share Posted June 1, 2003 This just in... Idiot's safety tip #13: Even though the Doobie Brothers sing about it in China Grove, do not attempt to shave your body with a samurai sword. Don't believe everything you hear on the radio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 Idiot's Safety Tip # 14 You're not in the Matrix, and you can't jump large distances or otherwise defy the laws of physics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuuki Posted June 1, 2003 Share Posted June 1, 2003 Idiot Safety Tip #15 Not at least taking these examples into any consideration that maybe at sometime you maybe an idiot at some random event even if you're a smart kookee ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Idiot Safety Tip # 16 Don't even mention engagement around a girl you're dating unless you're willing to commit to the act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuuki Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Addition to tip #16 Don't kneel unexpectly, w/o the need of commitment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 2, 2003 Author Share Posted June 2, 2003 (Not particularly directed at Kookee...) Idiot's safety tip #17: Smart monkeys don't huff gasoline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Idiot's Safety Tip #18 Cups are not bulletproof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deac Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Deac: Aaaaaaaaaa-hah-hah-hah! I don't know why that's so funny. I don't remember saying that.... Idiot's Safety Tip#19 When rapidly running toward a sofa to be on time for you favourite TV show, make sure you notice/avoid all obstacles in the way to prevent broken toes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Odin Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Idiot's Safety Tip #20 If you have cats, always be sure to check footwear for foreign objects. Cats love to place such objects into shoes, boots, ect. So when you shove your foot into them you get a nice painful surprise. Some favorite objects they use are legos and egg shells. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Idiot's Safety Tip #21 Become friends with the emergency room staff before you need their services. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 3, 2003 Author Share Posted June 3, 2003 Deac: I was laughing at what you said about only professionals eating metal. Admiral: That isn't normal cat behavior! Please have your cats interrogated by the FBI immediately, to ensure that they aren't Al-Qaeda cats poised to strike fear in the American heartland. Remember--'meow' isn't an answer, or an alibi recognized by the US Department of Homeland Persecution. Idiot's safety tip #22: Do not put on sunglasses and rollerskate backwards on greased ice in the dark. Unless you're Batman. Probably not then, even. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kjølen Posted June 5, 2003 Share Posted June 5, 2003 Idiot safety tip #24 Never skip numbers. Idiot safety tip #25 When small objects in the distance are starting to become louder and bigger: Make sure that you dont stand there if the lighted part is facing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
access_flux Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Idiot's Safety tip #26: when warming your underwear in the oven, make sure your friends didn't put al-foil on the insides of your underwear before putting them on. (we did that to a friend after we found out he heated his underwear. he doesn't do it anymore.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 10, 2003 Author Share Posted June 10, 2003 Speaking of tinfoil... Idiot's safety tip #26: Do not make a helmet out of tinfoil with a CB antenna hooked up to it then stand out in the open while a solar radiation storm is going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Idiot Safety Tip # 27 Do not use DISHWASHING SOAP when you run out of DishWASHER soap. The entire kitchen will flood with a sea of bubbles and your spouse may kill you. something my fiance did today.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-=ReApEr=- Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Originally posted by STTCT Idiot Safety Tip # 27 Do not use DISHWASHING SOAP when you run out of DishWASHER soap. The entire kitchen will flood with a sea of bubbles and your spouse my kill you. something my fiance did today.... LoL, if funny things in my life happend like that then maybe i wouldn't be down so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swphreak Posted June 10, 2003 Share Posted June 10, 2003 Originally posted by STTCT Idiot Safety Tip # 27 Do not use DISHWASHING SOAP when you run out of DishWASHER soap. The entire kitchen will flood with a sea of bubbles and your spouse my kill you. wait... there's a difference? Why don't we just stamp "IDIOT" on every idiot and then we won't have to worry about all the idiot saftey tips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
access_flux Posted June 11, 2003 Share Posted June 11, 2003 Idiot's safety tip #28: make sure you take the wrapper off the food before eating it... i've done that by mistake too many times..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 11, 2003 Author Share Posted June 11, 2003 STTCT: I once threw a 100% wool sweater from Land's End (hoity-toity stuff for those unfamiliar with the label), that my then-fiancée considered her most cherished piece of clothing, in the dryer. Forgive the man. Starwarsphreak: The government already keeps track of idiots. The idiot population of any given region is cross-referenced by the Dept. of Transportation's crosswalk signal records, which record how often the 'cross' button is pushed more than once. Push the button more than once? You're an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
access_flux Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 hahahah i did the homer simpson thing, by putting a red shirt in with the whites.... :rolleyes..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 12, 2003 Author Share Posted June 12, 2003 Everyone knows there are no whites in laundry--only pinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Surfnshannon Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 how did panties get into this thread? idiot safety tip #307891 Do not wash white boxers w/ red panties...they'll turn into pink manties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitro Posted June 12, 2003 Share Posted June 12, 2003 Idiot's Safety Tip #66699 Tighty-whities offer support, not protection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoom Rabbit Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 And naughty plastics offer visibility, not breathability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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