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I'm Recording a Love Song to Bill Gates


Yufster

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I'm recording a love song for Bill Gates for General Internet Release. Any suggestions for lyrics, post below.

 

So far I've written...

 

Bill Gates, you know what you do to me,

Bill Gates, I know it can never be,

 

Nikola Testis, Nikola Testis,

Take a crotch malteser and take a chew

 

Nikola Testis, Nikola Testis,

Bill Gates, I'll always love you

 

 

Misunderstood, but I can see through to your soul

A soul full of goodness, and heaps of golden money, too

 

 

etc.,etc.,

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Wonderful! Here's the first recording... shakey and off a bit...

 

Yufster - Bill Gates Love Song

 

EDIT: This song really touched me deeply, I'm basically singing straight from the heart. Sometimes, words are too simple to say, but when they're sung, they become really, really beautiful. If you listen carefully you can hear me WEEPING in the background for my unobtainable love.

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Crap! It's unavailable! *crying* Fix it, somebody!

 

Anyway, why don't you make an arrangement for this one too. I have trouble thinking of lyrics glorifying Bill Gates himself, and not just his money.

 

I'd never regret the day you took me

For better or for worse.

I'd have all of your good qualities

In order in my purse.

 

(chorus) Bill Gates, Mr. Henry William Gates III

 

Oh, I'd be the most envied woman in the world,

Every day'd be a shopping spree...

I wouldn't care if you're away a lot,

'Cause the best part of you's with me.

 

(chorus)

 

If I got tired of a society life, I'd run away - oh,

I'd get a divorce and take half his stuff when I go....

 

(chorus)

 

See, that's the only reason there could be to marry the miserable guy. Oooh, I think I just wasted some time. :p

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Hmm...I've never been quite so fond of that man ever since the incident that I shall tell you about now:

 

It was a nice, summer day, and I was in my backyard, trying to eat rocks. It was troublesome, because, as we all know, rocks are not easily eaten. They're hard, for one thing. But then there's also the taste. It tastes like dust, only cold and hard.

I was just biting into an interesting orange rock, when I heard my phone ring from inside my house. I quickly looked toward the house, and rose to my feet. I had just been hoping for some excitement. It was time for another race against time, or against the answering machine, rather. I knew that I wouldn't make it to the front or back door, so I ran over to the window, and made several attempts to jump through it, Matrix-style, with only these results:

-Don't make it up high enough

-Hit my head on the glass and fall into the dirt

-Miss, hit my head on the wall and fall into the dirt

I finally gave up. I had lost. I sadly walked walked into my front door and pushed the PLAY button on my machine.

"Hello, **** (I cannot say my name in these message boards, in fear of curses placed by my anonymous enemy). It's your old friend, Bill Gates."

"Oh, great," I sighed. I was so sick of him demanding that I go over to his house for dinner.

"You're coming over for dinner tonight," continued the recorded voice. "Bye."

"NOOOO," I yelled angrily, throwing my arms in the air.

 

But, since he was Bill Gates, I had to do it. Little did I know that he was planning to poison me that very evening! (gasp) Yes, that's right. He's working for the one person in these forums who's been trying to kill me, and I don't know their name. But I have a slight idea...hmm...Perhaps someone who's close enough to LOVE HIM.

Anyway, this was before I knew about that, so I got dressed up in my best tuxedo, and went over in my shiny black limo. Oh, wait, I threw on some old ripped up outfit and walked.

When I arrived, he served triscuits and some wine.

"It's very tasty," he said, rubbing his hands together. "It's not poisoned, though."

"Oh, okay," I said, nibbling a triscuit.

"HEY! HEY!" yelled Bill Gates rudely. "THOSE ARE NOT FOR NIBBLERS!"

"Right...sorry..."

He snatched it from my hand and fed it to the dog. I hung my head in shame.

"Now, drink your wine!" he yelled.

"I'm allergic."

"Damn," he said, touching his chin in thought. "Do you want some grape juice?"

"Don't like it," I said, shaking my head and nibbling on another triscuit.

"CUT THAT OUT!" Bill shook his head, once again in deep thought.

"Well, when are we gonna have dinner?" I asked, rubbing my belly, and putting on my bib.

"Look," he said. "What do you like to drink?"

"Pineapples."

"Pineapples are a food," he said angrily. "Not a drink! How can I poison a pineapple?!?!"

"With a syringe," I suggested.

"Ooh!" he said in delight. "Yes."

He went off to get one, and I quickly nibbled up a triscuit before he returned.

"Here you go," he said, handing me a coconut.

"That's a coconut."

"No it isn't. It's a pineapple."

"I hate coconuts."

"Arrrgh!!" he yelled in fury, knocking over the table.

I ran over by a big stained-glass window on his wall, in horror.

"Get back here!" he yelled, his face red. "You're going to die!"

I looked at his hand. He was clutching a sharp knife. He charged at me with it, and I stepped aside, causing him to fly out the window and crash to the ground far below. (we were on the fifth floor)

I ran over and looked down at him. He was dead. I assumed he was dead for good, but it seems that my enemy collected one of his DNA samples and made a new one. Look's like next time I should burn his body, should I ever have another encounter with the evil man.

 

So you see, this is why I don't like Bill Gates. I still use Windows, though.

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ROTFLMFAO you're the best newbie EVER! "That's not a pineapple, it's a cocoanut" --- "Damn. Would you like grape juice?"

 

Okay I can't get it on Geocities no matter what the HELL I do, where will I put it?

 

EDIT: Get on AIM, my AIM SN is YufsterChan. I'll send it to you over that

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http://www.geocities.com/billgateslovesong

 

THERE IT IS.

 

ENJOY.

 

Please excuse the Duck Sounds emmitted from my little sister, who kept pushing me and so the whole thing came out jolted and crap. In the end, she says, "Do again!"

 

She's two.

 

The lyrics go like this:

 

Nikola Testis, Nikola Testis,

Bill Gates, This is a song for you

 

Nikola Testis, Nicola Testis,

It’s all about crotch maltesers too,

 

Nikola Testis, Nicola Testis,

So Take a crotch malteser baby and chew

 

 

I'd never regret the day you took me

For better or for worse.

I'd have all of your good qualities

In order in my purse.

 

 

(chorus) Bill Gates, Mr. Henry William Gates III

 

Oh, I'd be the most envied woman in the world,

 

Every day'd be a shopping spree...

I wouldn't care if you're away a lot,

'Cause the best part of you's with me.

Yes the best part of you’s with me,

Your money

 

(chorus)

 

I’ll steal the blueprints for the next Windows

There are so many things I need to know,

Like what does NT mean anyway

I heard it means “Network Technology”

Well I think it means “Nice Try”, Nice try,

While you’re at work I’ll disappear from here, hear hear,

Please sign here, yes dear, I’m getting a divorce,

Shame about the prenup, Its time for a cleanup of your accounts,

I didn’t mean to hurt you, was gonna try and sue you, too bad for you,

And this I do, not out of spite but hey, what’s a girl to do,

I enjoyed your estate and your nice cars too but hey,

It’s time to go, and thanks for the time I spent with you this song celebrates you, and all the things you do , Mr Henry, William Gates, the Third… Time to let go, let me fly like a bird, what have you learned, not to trust anyone who lusts after money like a dog after…bones,

 

I can’t think of an ending.

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No, no see, no! No! ****.

 

Maybe I should redo the tune. I like the tune. I really do. But I sort of didn't want a nice tune. Oh dear. Niko, you make a tune for it. Just make sure it's all open chords, because I can't play the goddamn guitar very well.

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